#CL’s Box

2981 messages · Page 3 of 3 (latest)

timber bridge
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I’m stuck on everything

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it replays in my hesd over and over again

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i cant get it out

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failed my photoshop ceritification test for school

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i’m just failing at everything, arent i?

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i’m gonna fucking crash out at everything soon

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i’m so tired

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at least it’s friday tomorrow

timber bridge
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the knife twisted in my stomach when i discovered this 🥀 (i’ve been feeling it my whole life)

image.jpeg
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-# i’m not self-diagnosing i’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and i was curious to see what rsd was and jst found it highly relatable in all circumstances

timber bridge
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feel like i’m about to self sabotage again

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i wish i wasnt such a bad person

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i wish i didnt think these things

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i wish i was important

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actually important

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to someone

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i’m typically the second, third, fourth, fifth person in mind

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last priority

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idk maybe that’s why i feel like absolutely nothing when i fail

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I’m just proving myself to be

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not important

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giving everyone a reason to give up on me

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but then i push others away

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and just

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idk

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i wish people thought about me as much i think about them

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i mean do i cross people’s minds?

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does someone smile when they think of me?

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or did i ruin it and create a stain on their memories of me?

timber bridge
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oh my god shut up you fat fucking pathetic chud loser

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listening to myself whine is making me want to relapse

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i wish i could get high and stop thinking

timber bridge
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I hate all of my coping mechanisms

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mostly because they makes me feel worse after

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it’s that short dopamine hit

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i just fucking binge ate until i was sick again 🥀

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god i’m a fatass

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ruined what i did in the gym today

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i accidentally sliced my hand open on smth under the couch

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while looking for something i dropped

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idk it made me think about when i’m in control of the pain

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i feel like the sting hurts more when it’s out of your control

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although idk, i fuck my thigh up pretty bad

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it hurts just laying down

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the sting

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i dunno

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i feel euphoric for a second when i relapse

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staring at the bloody cuts

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waiting for them to really hurt

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punishing yourself

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the control is nice until it becomes instinct

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i did something bad, i need to cut

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something bad happened, i need to cut

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i’m jealous again, should cut

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i pushed them away, the pain hugs my leg

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and when you treat your skin like a canvas it gets warm

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textured

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i sound like a masochist

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i’ll try not to cut tonight

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i havent done it since a half week before spring break

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so ig 17 days or so

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idk if i’ll keep count though

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ughggg god i feel sick

timber bridge
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do i have avpd or am i jst cupioromantic or some other romantic

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what’s wrong with me

timber bridge
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ughsgsb i hate the way my boobs look so much

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i wish i was hot

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" nice rack " yeah it’s the bra giving me extra support

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god im ugly

timber bridge
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my scars

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arent fading

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uhsjsbsm

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i dont want to wear shorts in the summer

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or wear a swimsuit

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i dont want my parents or friend to see

timber bridge
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im so pathetic for writing all this shit about a fictional semihealthy relationship because i know i can never have that

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fat fucking chud 💔

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i think there’s no hope of it

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i always ruin it

timber bridge
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i’m destined to be alone forever

timber bridge
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hhhh

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i hate when i feel like i’m boring them

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i just wanna talk but i feel like i’m being too much

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They’re doing smth anyway but still i just

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idk

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i just want to feel validated

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or whatever i seek

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god please talk to me you’re the only one who really talks to me for longer than 5 minutes anymore

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i just want to feel an ounce of some kind of affection even if it’s fake

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i need to stop thinking about these stupid fucking characters

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ugh i’m so fucking weird

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fucking loser only feeling love through a stupid oc

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i’m pathetic

timber bridge
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crying because i feel like they hate me

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please tell me i mean something

timber bridge
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stop crying

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just

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try to calm down

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blink the tears away

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god please care please care please care

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why dont you care

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i wish you still cared

timber bridge
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i didnt get in

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dont cry

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dont get pathetc

timber bridge
timber bridge
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watching highschool couples every day like a loser and thinking about how i’ll never be able to have that

timber bridge
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🫤

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" I wish I never met you no more. "

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genuinely who wants to fucking talk to me anymore

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how pathetic am i for staring at all the dms and waiting for a text that’ll never come

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i guess it’s what i get for pushing people away

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i just want to know i mean something, anything to you still.

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thinking about the blade again

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dont cut it’s too close to summer

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they’ll all see

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see how disgusting you are.

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awful awful scars

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they stain your skin

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oh, but they care too much and not enough all at once

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they’d never break down crying over what their daughter did to herself

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they’d never ask why.

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never try to understand.

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only criticize.

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i’m tired

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ughsgh

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my parents want to go to church this weekend

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i dont really want to

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i’m

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scared

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i feel sick and unsafe stepping into a church

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i dont want to feel the shame

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feel the eyes of people, of god looking down on me in disgust

timber bridge
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my heart feels heavy

pliant nebula
# timber bridge i feel sick and unsafe stepping into a church

Easter is one of the biggest holidays in our religion. It is the day of our redemption. Do not be afraid of being ashamed, do not fear being looked down upon. Instead, try to look at it as a step in a new direction, one that could potentially be beneficial to you.

I understand the fear that comes from religion, and while I have not gone through it myself, I have gone through other trauma. The best I can say is, try to focus on being present, not whats going on inside you. Try understanding the sermons, reflect on them, see what resonates with you. And remember to take deep breaths

timber bridge
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i feel like he never wants to talk to me again

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i dont want to text first again because i feel like i just seem desperate

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idk

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i ruined it

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like how i ruin everything i touch

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it all just disintegrates in my hands

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every relationship’s just gonna turn out this way

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i dont deserve anything less

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i dont even know what the point in trying is anymore when everyone leaves and moves on

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and i do all this stuff to get them back and when i do, it’s just already ruined beyond repair

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they don’t talk to me

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i’m texting first

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i’m a dog begging to be touched again

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but they don’t want to touch me because i chewed and scratched up the couch

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i hate myself for everything i do

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i feel like everyone’s just gonna leave me and move on

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i’m too unloveable to stay with

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i’m only good for reflecting my misery in these stupid characters

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maybe they bring joy to a couple people but the way i talk about it annoys people

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the entertainment is nice for them ig

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i feel like i used to be so good at being there for people

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now it seems like i’m just trying too hard

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but i dont even know who i have left to help anymore

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and i’m too scared to

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i dont think you want me in your life anymore

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i’m not even sure how much of an impact i made anymore

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what am i good for?

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just get rid of me and put me out of my misery.

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twist the knife

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all pain sizzles away into numbness anyway

timber bridge
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god i’m gonna be alone forever.

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i’m gonna be the one who’s parents always ask them if they’ve met anybody yet

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if my parents still love me when i grow up

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or if i’m alive

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and i wish someone gave a fuck about how alone i feel

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not even through that whole thing did someone care about how i felt about it all

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i’m just the heartless bitch that’s jealous.

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I’m just tired.

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and i cut so mjch

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i feel like i dont even deserve love

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i guess its a self-fulfilling prophecy

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because nobody will ever love me like that

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and i cant love

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i’m truly going to be alone forever

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i’m just going to stare at the couples in public and hurt

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i dont think i’ll ever have anybody who will look at me crying and still love me

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who’ll see my scars and still love me

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someone to hold my face and say i’m pretty even though i feel ugly

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fuck i sound like the biggest fucking degenerate in the world

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i’m such a fucking loser

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pathetic

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pathetic disgusting fucking loser

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i wouldnt deserve it even if i had it

timber bridge
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shut your corny ass up 💔

timber bridge
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ugh why’d i say that

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creep

timber bridge
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hmnghhgb theyre getting bored of me

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i’m sorry i’m not good enough for you anymore

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i’m trying to be entertaining

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i’m trying

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please dont go away

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you’re the only one i really talk to anymore

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please dont move on

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hhh

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they probably think i’m annoying

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i just want to talk like how we used to

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you said you were tired and couldnt do that anymore but now you have other friends that you’re with every night

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am i just

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am i not good enough?

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am i not entertaining?

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am i not unique?

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what’d i do

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please just please stay

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i cant handle it you’re practically the only thing i look forward to when i get home

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i just want to be worth your time

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or anyone’s

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please dont move on

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i’m tired of people moving on

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i’m tired of everything being so awkard because i ruined it

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i’m so tired

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oh my god i hate these fucking photos so much

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why am i so FUCKING UGLY

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i hate this face so much

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i hate it

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and this body

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i hate it and all its needs

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why do you always fucking starve

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why cant you just be normal

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why cant you just be pretty

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why why WHY

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i hate this fucking face

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it makes me want to punch the mirror

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i hate this body

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i want to get out

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i wish i could just cut everything off

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i HATE IT

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i want to throw up

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i hate it i hate it

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why cant i just be pretty

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not even fcking makeup helps my stupid fat fucking face

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I WANT TO STRANGLE YOU

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I HATE LOOKING AT YOU

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why do you have to be alive

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no one wants to fucking see you

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they’e embarrassed

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embarrassed of your sinful body

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disgusting face, arms, legs, torso

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no one wants to see it

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i just want to cut it all off

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i want myself gone

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i’m so tired of looking at myself

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so tired of looking at something no one would want

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if i cant look good in something cropped by now i’ve failed

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i’m always going backwards

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nobody wants this awful fucking body

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i want to cut

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i want to ruin it

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i’ll never be beautiful.

timber bridge
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i feel like drawing/thinking about these dumb characters is the only semihealthy coping mechanism i have

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even though i feel like people dont care about it that much

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idk i just want to be interesting ig

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interested in

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i feel so fucking stupid

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i feel like i’m waiting for shit that’ll never happen

timber bridge
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my heart hurts again

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hhhh

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i feel like feeling pain again

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it’s too close to summer but i want to do it.

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maybe i should try my chest

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maybe it’ll even out my heart feeling heavy

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i dont know

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i want to sleep for a while

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i dont want to wake up

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i’m tired of the cycle beating me down

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the doubt i feel and the doubt others feel in me

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i’m tired of looking at a reflection i hate

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absolutely hate.

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one someone will never love

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i’m starting to feel like i wont be anything

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like i’m just believing in the fantasy to delay my inevitable demise

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the one where i’m dead by my own hand

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or an " accident "

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i am just

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useless

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what do i do in anyone’s life

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i cant think

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i just annoy

timber bridge
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looking like an absolute fucking clown waiting for them to dm

timber bridge
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i think i’m starting to realize that i’m just

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not very special

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to anyone

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in specific

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everyone has that one person they smile about when they think about them

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or someone they talk to every day without shame

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i’m starting to think i’m just not one of those people

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just in the air and there when i’m needed ig

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what is wrong with me

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i feel ostracized and alienated by everyone around me

timber bridge
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oh okay you’ll respond right away when i say goodnight tho.

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i’m so fucking stupid i dont even know why i try anymore

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i’m trying so hard not to cut

timber bridge
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ugh god i hate looking at myself

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i hate my face

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i’m so ugly

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i just want to

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shatter the mirror

timber bridge
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okay it’s really fucking funny how you have enough energy and emotion to be on vc with your new friends all fucking day and none to give me the slightest fucking sliver of attention

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i’m shitting myself laughing at how i’m just blantly being ignored

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making me feel too needy

timber bridge
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i dont wanna talk to them

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i’m always too much or not enough

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i had to watch the sixth sense in film studies today

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it was kinda heavy

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usually i’m not super sensitive to it but it kinda made me anxious and feel weird

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idk it was mostly the suicide and implied self harm

timber bridge
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how i look coming online hoping they dmed me but my inbox is fucking empty

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🫤

timber bridge
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of course

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only texting when you need me

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that’s all i’m ever fucking good for

timber bridge
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god okay i guess i’m just entirely fucking useless

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even when i try so fucking hard i can’t help.

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i’m just fucking nothing

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i cant do shit

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i’m NOTHING TO YOU

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STOP FUCKING LYING AND SAYING I MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU BECAUSE I CLEARLY DON’T.

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I’m going to leave

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i’m going to leave this godforsaken fucking app and disconnect from the world

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i’m so tired

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so fucking tired

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nobody fucking needs me

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no one

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never

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i don’t kmow why i dont just fucking DO IT ALREADY

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i’m so fucking pathetic begging for a scrap of attention

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people would forget about me in a week

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why do i care so much about people who would forget my name in a month

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the things i do and the things i’ve done

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unrecognized.

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not worth remembering.

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because i’m just a useless, pathetic, waste of fucking air

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i want to cut again

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stop

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crying

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just stop

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syop

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why do you have to cry over everything

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i need to cut

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i need to bleed so badly

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i need someone to care

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i eed someone to tell me i’m important to tehm

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i need

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i want

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somebody

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fuck

timber bridge
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say it

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everyone say it

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say i’m useless

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say you dont want to talk

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say you hate me

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say i’m a burden

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say i’m annoying

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just fucking say it!

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say you don’t want me

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tell me how i ruined. fucking. everything.

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everyone knows it

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everyone thinks it

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everyone wants me dead.

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i know they do

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deep down

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they want me dead for how i’ve inflicted my own suffering onto them

timber bridge
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retreating into emptiness

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all i feel is condensed into the familiar feeling of feeling nothing at all

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just a heavy weight in your heart

timber bridge
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ruined it all again

timber bridge
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cant sleep

timber bridge
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i swear i need to start throwing up after i eat

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i’m genuinely never going to lose weight or look pretty unless i purge or go on a medication

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and i cant go on meds

timber bridge
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reading the old messages is making wanna fucking kill myself

timber bridge
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i feel like relapsing

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i wonder if the scars would heal before summer

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maybe i’ll just do it

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farther up the leg

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and hope the weather doesn’t get warmer

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i feel like no one loves me

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they just told me they didn’t

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i know that line

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" it’s hard for me to feel it for anyone right now "

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okay

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i wouldn’t love me either

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i’m tired

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i’m gonna go offline

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dniuc

timber bridge
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" everybody loves somebody sometimes " except that somebody will never be me

timber bridge
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i went to vent but i dont feel like going to sleep crying and feeling my heart heavy

timber bridge
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might be bleeding internally

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fuck it we ball ig

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i hope i pass out in school tmr

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i’m so tired

timber bridge
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i love how they’d pull an all nighter for anyone but me

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🫤

timber bridge
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GOD WHY IS FUCKING EVERYTHING MY FAULT.

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HOW IS IT MY FAULT FOR NOT BEING THE FAVORITE

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I GUESS I’M JUST NIT DOING ENOUGH SHIT, HUH MOM??

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I’M JUST THE SHY KID IN THE CORNER DIING NOTHING TO BE NOTICED

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NO

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I’M

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TIRED

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OF DOING FUCKING EVERYTHING

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AND NOBODY FUCKING CARES

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OR IT’S DISMISSED

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I MESS UP ONCE SND I’M THE FUCKING PROBELMS

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EVERYTHING IS MY FUCKING FAULT

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i wish i could kill myself and just be gone already

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nobody fucking wants me here

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they dont wnat to fucking talk tomme

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because i ruin EVERYTHING

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and i’m just annoying

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what actual fucking friends do i have anymore

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i always just ruin it

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and i cnat get over anything

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nothing

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how does everyone get over me but i cant get over a single thing in my lfie

timber bridge
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I’m so tired of feeling like i’m trapped in my own mind and body

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i think i should leave soon

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i don’t think it would affect people in the long run

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i dont think theyre concerned

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is my normal just feeling like i need to escape every day

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feeling like i should be dead

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going unnoticed

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i’ve given up on texting first

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i just look desperate

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i feel like people dont actually need me

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like i’m just filtering into the background of their lives

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there when you need me ig

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not there cause you want me

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i guess i just dont do anything much for them

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the friendships feel over

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most of them anyways

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and the others are teetering

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i just

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they dont need me

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what’s the point in being there if no one needs me

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if they can live without me what’s the point

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i’ve just become nothing

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i want to cut again

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every day i feel down my thigh and realize there’s no more texture of lines of scars

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i dont know

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its the only thing that feels real

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no one’s gonna actually fucking read this pathetic whining

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i jusy want to die i’m so fuckig tired

timber bridge
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bitches will say " sorry i havent been talking to you much " and then continue to never talk to you

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yeah whatever you’re just sorry because i’m ignoring you like how you ignore me because of your stupid new friends 💔

timber bridge
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why am i never enough for anyone

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but too much at the same time

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i tried so hard to talk to them

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they just seem fucking annoyed at everything

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they dont even care about my interests

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but apparently i’m not enough to distract them from the world

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like what fucking bullshit is that

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just tell me i’m annoying and that you dont want to talk to me

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nobody wants to fucking talk to me, why dont you just admit it?

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dont even care that i’m not texting you

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like fuck off stop pretending you care about my feelings with that late night pity text

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i’m so tired

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i bet you wouldnt even care if i killed myself

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or if i relapsed

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at this point i’m doubtful anyone would

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if i just stopped talking altogether, would anyone notice?

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it’s not like i talk to them much anyway.

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nobody ever says " i’m worried about her "

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i’m just doubting my importance to anyone at all

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nobody cares when i relapse

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nobody cares about how i feel

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nobody seeks interest in me

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nothing nothing nothing i’m just nothing to everyone i know

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i’m tired

timber bridge
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why do i always screw everything up

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why why why am i so stupid

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why do i say such stupid shit

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why am i so petty

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why am i such a bad fucking person

timber bridge
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i feel like one of my biggest fears is nobody caring about me

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and i think it’s coming true

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and i’m gonna kill myself

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genuinely im so tired of feeling and being worthless

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and i’m irrelevant in people’s lives now

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i dont think they think about me

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he’s moved on, she doesn’t need me, she’s moved on, they don’t need me.

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i need to relapse

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oh my god i’m going yo fucking kill myself

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i’m so behind

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i’m falling behind

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i hate being this way i have looking at myself in the mirror

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i hate being this fucking lowlife BEGGING FOR ATTENTION

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I HATE NOT BEING LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

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I HATE BEING JUDGED

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I HATE BEING THE OUTCAST

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I HSTE NOT BEING RECOGNIZED

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I HATE IT I HATE IT ALL

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I HATE MYSELF

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PEOPLE ARE HAVING THEIR FIRST DRINK, FIRST KISS, FIRST TIME AND I’M FUCKING CUTTING MYSELF

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WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

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DWELLING ON STUPID SHIT THAT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE OR NEVER WILL BE

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I’LL NEVER BE SHIT

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THESE SCARS ON MY LEGS DONT PROVE SHIT

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I WISH I COULD JUST FCKING DIE ALREADY

timber bridge
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i did it again.

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one month clean gone

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feeling the sting

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i should go deeper

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can’t even help anyone anymore

timber bridge
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.

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just fucking leave me, hm?

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fuck you.

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FUCK YOU.

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I HATE YOU.

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i’m going deeper i dont care

timber bridge
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i’m killing myself

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i’m fucking killing myself

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oh my fucking godmi’m gonna be sikc

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fuck

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i need to take the pills

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no one”s gdonna help em

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fuck

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i need to leave

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i need to gi

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go

timber bridge
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" Don’t believe what people say, they never stay anyway. "

timber bridge
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i think i might actually kill myself soon

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i’m seriously

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i cant do it anymore

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i don’t think i have friends anymore

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i’m struggling

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so badly

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no one helps

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no one cares about me like i care about them

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i literally helped them for 2-3 years trying to keep them from dying. and they just left me and told me to call a hotline.

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while i was bleeding from my thigh

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genuinely i don’t think anyone fucking cares about me

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i just need to do it.

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i need to kill myself

timber bridge
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i’m not making it to the end

timber bridge
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my heart feels so heavy i can barely breathe

timber bridge
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i really am just turning into my dad.

timber bridge
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" i’m staying away and protecting myself " why am i being treated like a dog that bit you?

timber bridge
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i should’ve stolen my brother’s cigarettes and vape when i had the chance

serene idol
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No. You made the right decision not to.

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Don’t get addicted like I did.

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Because once you get addicted, it WILL be the hardest challenge to quit.

timber bridge
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i think i’m just addicted to hurting myself

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i just feel like

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numbing it with other things would be better

serene idol
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I understand that. But I don’t think it will help.

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You gotta trust me on that

pliant nebula
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I never felt a difference

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i just felt worse because i had ti stress about my parents smelling it on me

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i also dont recommend picking it ip either

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especially with your parents

timber bridge
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why do i genuinely ruin everything

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i really don’t mean to

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i wish you would just text me back

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i don’t understand how you can see me improve if we never talk again.

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does it only get fixed on your terms?

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fixed only when you want to talk to me again?

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i don’t understand how this works

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i wish you were just there for me.

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all those hundreds of nights i was there for you

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sick to my stomach

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but when i need support, i’m just treated like all i ever was was an asshole

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i am a bad person

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i’m sorry for doing that

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but did you have enough because you didn’t depend on me anymore?

#

because you suddenly got friends?

#

were you just waiting for a reason to leave?

#

it feels like the end. And if it is, i’d rather cut it off first.

#

i’m probably going to kill myself if it is the end. Because all this is proving is that no matter how strong the relationship was, i’ll ruin it.

#

and i can’t even make the shit i want to without you

#

somehow, i feel like you’re happier without me.

#

i feel like everyone is happier without me

#

i really don’t want to be the burden

#

but in the end i guess i always become it

timber bridge
timber bridge
#

i talked to them

#

so why do i still feel empty?

#

i need to cry.

#

it wont come out though

timber bridge
#

why do i hate people moving on without me

#

why do i hate them

#

getting over me

#

ugh this makes me sound like such a bad person

#

i hate being this insecure

#

for once i just want to feel worth in myself for longer than 30 seconds at a time

#

i hate saying this but

#

i wish someone would be jealous of me for once

#

i’m so tired of feeling this way

#

i sound so shitty saying that

#

i feel like a narcissist

timber bridge
#

i wish they needed me

timber bridge
#

i miss 2023

#

i had all my friends

#

i had someone who loved me

#

now i just fucking annoy them or i’m not good enough ig

#

i don’t understand

#

if it’s not anything bad, then why don’t they talk to me anymore?

#

they is everything dry, only responses?

#

why am i always texting first?

#

why is it that they talk to other people every day, almost every hour, fall asleep with them, and i’ve been with them for so long and they only give me minimal attention and responses?

#

i don’t get it

timber bridge
#

went from talking every hour of the day and not going to sleep without an i love you to taking an hour to respond and not even saying goodnight grace_pray

timber bridge
#

im so pathetic

timber bridge
#

oooo great my old " friends " are fucking bullying me now

pliant nebula
#

Hopefully you can get away from them

timber bridge
#

that was genuinely such backwards logic 💔

#

dude’s such a coward

#

just blocked me as i was explaining myself

#

like kay sorry for not texting but our entire friendgroup broke up and you never texted me either??

#

how tf does that work

#

what am i supposed to do, bitch?

timber bridge
#

oh ok jst found out my art is on her fucking toyhouse

#

credited

#

but she NEVER ASKED FOR MY PERMISSION

#

UGSHSGSH

#

WE’RE NOT FUCKING FRIENDS ANYMORE

#

YOU DON’T GET TO CLAIM MY SHIT, OR MY FRIENDS’ SHIT, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU BLOCKED ME ON EVERYTHING

timber bridge
#

ughsgsh i hate being jealous

timber bridge
#

why do i always have to feel like someone’s pulling away when they get new friends

#

i should be happy but i just feel like theyre leaving

#

why are they bonding so quick

#

so comfortable with each other immediately

#

whyre they spending so much time with people they just met

#

why cant they vent to me anymore

#

ugdhbd

#

why why why

timber bridge
#

i wish they missed me like i miss them

timber bridge
#

why do you have time for everyone but fucking me

timber bridge
#

i’m gonna be alone forever

#

ughg i hate looking in the mirror

#

i just want to tear my features apart

timber bridge
#

looking at those old messages physically hurts me

#

i miss when they needed me

timber bridge
#

god when tf are you NOT on vc 💔

#

everytime i ask

#

ughsgndm

#

i wish i could leave first but that wouldnt even make a difference because they don’t fucking care about me anymore

#

and i need what little validation i get too much to do that

timber bridge
#

i wish i could get high and sleep forever

#

but the only thing i can do is cut myself or blast my ears out on a bike ride

#

bike ride ig

timber bridge
#

hmbghh

#

i wanna forget everything

#

i wish i could just take smth and make everything go away

#

i want to forget who i am

#

i kind of already have but

#

i mean really

#

i want to forget

#

just for a while

#

i want to forget i ever did that shit

#

i want to forget every painful message

#

every sentiment that now stings

#

the things i now flinch at that i used to revel in

#

i wanna forget everything about me

#

stupid body

#

stupid relationships

#

stupid characters

#

stupid stupid stupid

#

sometimes i want to tear my art apart

#

delete the script

#

forget we ever conceived it

#

it’s not gonna happen

#

i’ll never be a director or write anything, i’ll just blow my brains out

timber bridge
#

there’s no hope at all for me

pliant nebula
#

When I see them I just see my best friend in them

#

I like your art a lot and I wish I was as good as you at drawing people, and not silly countries lol

timber bridge
timber bridge
#

okay wtf youtube 🥀

#

that stung

timber bridge
#

my body wash, shampoo and conditioner all ran out at the same time

#

is this a sign

timber bridge
#

that time of night where they ignore and ghost me

timber bridge
#

oh my god this shit is so one-sided but if i say anything they’ll tell me i’m being too co-dependent and need to work on myself

#

like god, shut up

#

people start prioritizing themselves without you and then prioritize themselves a little too much

#

like why the fuck do you act like i’m such an inconvenience

#

why do you only fucking talk to your friends you’ve known for 2 months

#

why’re you treating me like i’m a hyperfixation

#

obsessed with me only when you’re interested.

#

sorry i dont cater to your current interests

#

but could you not treat me like a fucking object

#

making me feel like an unloved piece of shit all for what

#

i guess i’m only good for one thing and one thing only

#

being a floater

#

ughsg i wish i could just unadd them for a while and forget everything

#

i’m so tired of feeling like i’m just being annoying

#

i look so fucking annoying and desperate texting first and responding within seconds to their hour long responses

#

it’s lose lose anyway i put it

#

everything just ends up in a problem

#

i’m either the villain or too broken mentally to interact with them

#

there’s no other way they see it

#

either way

#

my heart still feels heavy in the end

#

like it’s a bomb about to detonate

timber bridge
#

i hate myseflshshs 😭💔💔

timber bridge
#

i wish it was just as heartbreaking for them to realize i’m not their ride or die anymore as it is for me

timber bridge
#

the one fucking time i’m with someone YOU’RE INTERETSED IN ME DINDJSS 💔

#

I CANT WIN

timber bridge
#

OH MY GODDDD

#

I SWEAR

#

IT’S

#

ALWAYS WHEN I’M FUCKING ALONE

#

UGSHSGHS

#

WHEN I’M WITH SOMEONE ELSE YOU’RE SUDDENLY NOT BUSY!!!

#

AND THEN WHEN I’M ALONE

#

POOF BACK TO BEING WITH YOUR FRIENDS ALL NIGHT

#

oh and suddenlyyy you’re interested in something i used to try to show you

#

everything i tried to show you is just stupid or you don’t have time to, right??

#

but then your OTHER FRIENDS show it to you AND YOU’RE OBSESSED

#

couldn’t even listen to a singular fucking song i liked or literally just look, just GLANCE at a playlist

#

because i’m such a FUCKING INCONVENIENCE

#

and i guess i just make everything too boring or not to your liking

#

whatever

#

i wish i could leave and watch someone beg for me to come back

#

god, fuck you

timber bridge
#

i feel like i should die

#

i wish i could get high and forget i even exist

#

i need to be so numbed i dont even feel myself falling asleep with my heart heavy again

timber bridge
#

i feel like relapsing until my thighs are dripping with blood

#

god i wanna sleep forever

#

i feel

#

i genuinely feel like the embodiment of creep by radiohead

#

what the hell is wrong with me

#

why why why am i so

#

why cant i move on

#

why does it seem like everbody moves on but me

#

it’s true

#

everybody’s moved on

#

ty

#

my friends from california

#

z, n, j

#

him

#

now you

#

out of everyone

#

i never thought you’d leave me

#

i don’t know

#

it’s probably just me

#

i ruin so much

#

i’m just not entertaining enough

#

not pleasing them enough

#

not good enough to even acknowledge

#

what would my mom say if she found me dead

#

i’m running out of reasons to live

#

running out of reasons to try

#

try fighting, try losing weight, trying my best

#

it never works out

#

i cannot fathom to look in the mirror anymore

#

my reflection is distorted

#

disgusting and out of proportion

#

that face isnt me

#

i dont even know what i look like

#

i don’t know who i am anymore

#

i feel like i shouldnt even exist

#

i just

#

i want to sleep

#

for a long time

#

living in countless dreams and nightmares would be better than this

#

forgetting myself

#

i’ve already forgotten but i just want to be lost

#

i dont want to wake up

#

im tired

#

tired of everything going to shit

#

tired of feeling this way

#

when will i ever break the chains

#

when will i just kill myself

#

it’s only a matter of when

timber bridge
#

resisting the urge to ask them what they would do if i killed myself

timber bridge
#

realizing i’ve never been a first priority for them except for when they didnt have anyone

#

what the fuck is so wrong with me

#

it’s like this for everyone

timber bridge
#

ig being a good friend to you means staying away in the long run.

#

i’m tired of being everyone’s friend

#

i want them to be mine

#

that doesnt really make sense

#

idk i’m so fucking retadrdfd

timber bridge
#

crazy how we thought we’d spend our lives together and now they wont even text me back

#

" i dont leave people on read " yes tf you do

#

maybe i just don’t constitute as a person

timber bridge
#

im such a loser

#

i wish i was dead

#

look at me, staring at old messages with false hope

#

waiting for someone who would never make time for me again

#

i want to kill myself

#

i just want it to end

timber bridge
#

i’m so tired

#

i want to relapse

#

i want to cut my wrist this time, though.

#

idk. i’ll just lie and say my knife slipped while doing art or cutting smth.

#

i’m gonna try and confront them

#

if this goes wrong and i lose them forever i’m actually going to fucking kms

#

like actually, i’m fucking done. goodbye to everyone at that point.

#

writing my letters.

#

if there’s anything to write.

#

i dunno. it feels like so many people left me that i’d only really write for like, 2 people excluding my parents.

#

isnt that sad

#

not enough reasons to live, but too many to die.

timber bridge
#

i made a poem at school

#

i’m so cringe 💔

#

I Believe
I believe in healing,
the way a forest recovers
after an angry fire.

I believe that faded scars
are not burdened reminders
but proof of survival.

I believe resilience
makes the strongest warriors,
ones who fight battles inside.

I believe memories gone stale
can be refurbished
through new connection echoing old friends.

I believe hurt people hurt people
but our blame is misplaced
support should be first, never neglected with hate.

I believe in masks
hiding away the pain
but our faults happen when we ignore our struggles.

The struggles of others.
Of ourselves.

I believe we can heal
and someday, it will feel real.

pliant nebula
timber bridge
pliant nebula
timber bridge
#

i’m gonna be alone forever

#

i want to disappear for months and see how people react

timber bridge
#

god when tf are you ever gonna text first 💔

timber bridge
#

i’m so fucking tired

#

i say this shit every day and spout my self-deprecating nonsense but i really mean it

#

i’m not sure i’ll make it to 18

timber bridge
#

i don’t want to feel anymore

timber bridge
#

i waited 4 and a half years. their new friends did it in 2 months. grace_pray

timber bridge
#

everyone’s going to forget me

#

or maybe they already have

timber bridge
#

Im tired of feeling so shameful after i eat that i want to throw up everything

timber bridge
#

i’m so fucking fat

#

i feel like bleeding

timber bridge
#

god my head hurts

#

my parents make me feel like i’m a lazy failure at everything

#

even though i’m trying so hard

#

why aren’t my A’s enough

#

why am i not enough

timber bridge
#

i hate it so much

#

i hate my stupid body

#

i hate my face

#

i hate the mirror

#

i just want to

#

want to rip myself apart

#

i cant look anymore

timber bridge
#

everyone’s going to forget me

timber bridge
#

why does it feel like all my romantic relationships are menaingless in the long run, like they didn’t mean anything to the other person

#

idk maybe that’s just all my relationships with people

#

maybe i don’t mean enough to remember or make an impact

timber bridge
#

everyone’s growing up and i feel like i’ll get left behind and they’ll just see me as a dumb annoying kid who doesn’t know anything yet

#

idk maybe i already did

timber bridge
#

so little people talk to me on here anymore i almost forgot this place existed after school

timber bridge
#

my dog might have cancer

#

fml

timber bridge
#

last day of school

timber bridge
#

hhh fuck fuck fuck i ruin eferything

#

hhh i hope she’s okay i hope she’s not mad at me

#

why am i so stupid

#

ugshsgsn

#

and those weird fucking guys

#

" i’ll fix your bike if you give me your number! "

#

NO

#

FUCK OFF

#

fucking creeps

#

dont call me your fucking huzz

#

assholes

#

i’m an asshole

#

ughgshh

timber bridge
#

it’s summer now

#

i hope my scars aren’t that noticeable

timber bridge
#

oh.

#

okay.

#

so it’s fine if it’s a joke with your other friends.

#

kay.

#

you really know how to make me feel like i’m never enough.

#

and somehow too much all at once.

timber bridge
#

ugh

#

why am i so ugly

#

my friends say im not fat but i am

#

i hate my thighs so much

#

my arms

#

my face

#

i wish i could see my ribs

#

my collarbone

#

i hate my stretch marks so much

#

i’m so fucking ugly

#

my scars are faded but i still see the pink lines

#

crosshatches on my thigh

#

i dont think anyone else sees it

#

but i do

#

who will ever want me

#

im gonna die alone

timber bridge
#

i’m such a fucking failure

#

I should split open my skin again.

timber bridge
#

i wanna kill myself

#

i wish i could do it

#

i wish i could see if people would care

#

i can’t tell if anyone cares about me anymore

#

what do i mean to anyone?

#

just stale memories?

#

nothing

#

i’m always replaced

#

replaced by someone better

#

i’m not enough.

#

or i’m too much.

#

i’m both.

#

i dont even know what i am

#

i just

#

i wish i were dead

#

and i wish people saw it.

#

would it hit harder if i said it to their face?

#

or am i just being manipulative then?

#

i need help, yet nobody wants to help you.

#

they just tell you you’re too much.

#

not a care that you might actually do it.

#

just the villain again.

#

maybe i am a bad person

timber bridge
#

i sort of confronted them

#

idk, it just still kinda hurts

#

still feel invalidated

#

still feel one-sided

timber bridge
#

why am i so fucking uncool

#

i wish i could just feel normal for once

#

i’m almost 17 and i’ve never had like

#

any normal teenage experience

#

or i guess any stereotypical one

#

no first kiss

#

no parties

#

no making stupid decisions

#

like drinking or smoking

#

no big friend group

#

i only have one friend irl

#

god i’m a loser

timber bridge
#

great

#

my dog has a fatal tumor

#

just

#

great

pliant nebula
timber bridge
#

thought what if theyre doing the same shit we used to do with someone else and i genuinely felt sick and almost gagged in my mouth

#

ugh

#

i’m

#

i’m so fucking tired

#

i’m trying not to relapse

#

but everything just

#

hhh

#

i don’t know

#

i want to see the blood

#

i wont enjoy the sting but i need to numb

#

maybe just

#

a few cuts

#

where no one will see

#

so nobody questions

#

i don’t know

#

just a few.

#

fuck, bikini line’s gonna hurt like a bitch

pliant nebula
#

Why dont you try biting

#

You can still get that pain you need

#

but you wont bleed or have long lasting marks

timber bridge
#

so surgery’s too expensive for my dog’s tumor

#

and all of the doctors who could conduct it here are shitty

#

so i guess we’re just letting him live in pain for what possible little time he has left

#

i love being me!!!d! Sushahsjsks

#

if things get any worse it’s over yall won’t see me

timber bridge
timber bridge
#

omfg you don’t make sense to me

#

YOU’RE LITERALLY ONLINE PRIORITIZING OTHER FUCKING PEOPLE RATHER THAN PEOPLE THAT’VE BEEN WITH YOU FOR YEARS AND CLAIMING YOU LOST YOUR SPARK

#

WHAT THE FUCK

#

I DONT GET IT

timber bridge
#

oh my god

#

yes

#

i love it when assholes admit they’ve been assholes

#

i guess i’ll wait a little longer for them to change but if i relaps one more time over them i’m not sure how much longer that’ll be

timber bridge
#

hhhh

#

my friend wants to go swimming tmr

#

but my scars

#

and the fresh cuts

#

they’re visible

#

and i don’t wear swimsuits that cover my whole body anymore

timber bridge
#

ugh fuck

#

why am i so anxious about it