#laz's journal

4381 messages · Page 5 of 5 (latest)

rotund cave
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Whats wrong laz😔

craggy hamlet
craggy hamlet
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I APPLIED TO MY FIRST JOB!

craggy hamlet
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Just closed it

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ok bud

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I applied to 2 more that I like more though so it's fine

rotund cave
craggy hamlet
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I'M GOING TO GO INSANE

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I CANT EVEM YAP ABOUT IT AUUGHGHH

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oh...

craggy hamlet
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girl dinner

20251210_213800.jpg
craggy hamlet
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i luv my friends

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heheehe

craggy hamlet
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need someone to do this to

craggy hamlet
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what the fuck am I doing

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what are any of us doing

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this literally isn't real

craggy hamlet
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i don't really want to keep living honestly

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why do we do any of this

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if i wasn't a pussy i'd be dead by now

rotund cave
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Laz:(

craggy hamlet
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I've applied to 4 jobs and 3 of them didnt want me

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the last one hasn't responded

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I hope they do

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I need a job

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they were literally grocery store jobs byw

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btw

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and a dishwasher job

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who the hell gets declined from a DISHWASHER job

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"hmm sorry youre not good enough to scrub our dirty dishes"

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wow thanks

craggy hamlet
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uhuuguguhhh tummy hurts

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I hate being a woman

raven bridge
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im crine noo why doesnt it work anymore

craggy hamlet
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I can make a new one for you

raven bridge
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pretty please

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🥹 🥹

craggy hamlet
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Does that work??

raven bridge
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somewhat

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discord is sop bugginggg

craggy hamlet
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WOOT WOOT

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stinky bugs

craggy hamlet
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i didnt think i'd make it this far

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I wish someone loved me romantically

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People like me platonically but its not the same

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I want somebody who i can love soooooo much

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And everytime I think I find someone i'm wrong

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I'm so wrong

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Its never been mutual

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Nobody has ever liked me as much as I like them

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Every single time i'm so sure

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but it just doesn't happen

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I dont think it ever will

craggy hamlet
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she never wanted me

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the last time we talked was saturday

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she promised we'd hang out all the time once marching season ended

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we've hung out like tiwce

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twice

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she never really cared about me

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I meant nothing to her

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and I never will

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meow

craggy hamlet
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its christmas

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its almost 2026

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there's not an emoji that conveys my emotions

craggy hamlet
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im yeeearnnningggg

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i hope one day i will have someone with a nice voice who will talk to me until I fall asleel

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just tell me stories or about their day or something

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that'd be nice

rotund cave
craggy hamlet
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i hope so

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bro I caught a glimpse of myself in a camera at the grocery store and I looked like I was melting my face literally looks lopsided

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my hopes are not that high

rotund cave
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Doesnt define who you are

fading prawn
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hi

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decided to come back after a few months

craggy hamlet
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i have also returned but it hasn't been momths its just been a few days

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I think i want.to become a script writer

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that'd be nice

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writing shows and movies

craggy hamlet
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oh gooodness

rotund cave
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You okay laz?

gloomy harbor
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you good?
also, idek if y'all remember me but im back

craggy hamlet
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we chilling

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Painted a deer today

rotund cave
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YAYY

craggy hamlet
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HI MYTH OMG

rotund cave
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Hellooooo

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Hru

craggy hamlet
rotund cave
craggy hamlet
craggy hamlet
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bunny + mouse paintings

rotund cave
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Oooooo

fading prawn
craggy hamlet
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meow

craggy hamlet
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i can't see myself making it to 18

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sometimes it feels like it would be easier for me to just die now instead of laterb

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im too much of a coward to actually do it, so im not a danger to myself

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but idk

rotund cave
craggy hamlet
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im so sleepy

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I got like 4.5 hours of sleep

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my eyes hurt I want to lay back down

craggy hamlet
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maybe life is worth living

raven bridge
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REACH FOR THE STARS LAZ!!!!!!!!

rotund cave
fading prawn
craggy hamlet
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DOOMED ZOMBIE YURI

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doomed zombie yuri......

craggy hamlet
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we are so fucked

craggy hamlet
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a gnat landed on my hand

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it was very little

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I wanted to squish it because i dont like gnats

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I think they're gross

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But it was crawling on my hand and I felt bad

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Having the ability to take away such a tiny creatures life feels wrong

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I didnt squish it

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I dont think I'll kill gnats anymore

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They were the only bugs I killed

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But i can't do it

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One of then drowned in my drink

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I feel guilty

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I hope he didnt suffer

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What a terrible way to go

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poor critter

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it must have been so scary

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I poured it out in the sink

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That feels wrong now too

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Its too late to bury it but burying it would be a little weird I guess

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I wish i could catch them and put them outside

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But they're so small

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When I catch them they get squished on my hands

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Poor babies

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I am going to die one day

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I hope when the devil looks upon me his eyes are kind

rotund cave
raven bridge
craggy hamlet
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I love women

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girl kisser with no girls to kiss

craggy hamlet
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meowwww

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I wish a was a little critter

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that would be nice

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isnt it weird how temporary life is

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at any moment we could die without warning

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we dont know when it'll happen

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but it will

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and it might be sooner than we think

craggy hamlet
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my baby

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my perfect little baby

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life is worth living again

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oh my baby

craggy hamlet
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bitches love my fluffy tail snd soft paws

craggy hamlet
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eepy

craggy hamlet
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pmo

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everything pmo

craggy hamlet
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this is how I feel rn

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i want to quit i want to be done with this

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i hate this i hate everything

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stupid stupid stupid

craggy hamlet
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humans are so complicated and stupid

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this world is so complicated and stupid

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i wish people just said what they were feeling 100% of the time

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if youre mad at me just say it bro

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dont keep bringing up old stuff 🫩

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like ik I was in the wrong i was a bad person I get it I apologized and that doesnt make it immediately right but bringing it up all the time just makes me feel worse about myself dawg

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ik that's like vauge and probably annoying I hate when people are vague I just wanted to complain without irls knowing yk???

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uughhhh

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i want to die

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this is like a nightly thing now

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genuinely I dont see a point in this anymore its actually hopeless

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I wake up and do the same pointless shit everyday

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I'll finish high school and go to college for something I hate, if I even go to college, then I'll work a job that I hate that also doesnt pay enough

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And i'll try to build my own life so i'm not miserable but i won't be able to afford it and I'll be in debt the rest of my life alone and bitter

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why do I do this

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why do we do any of thos

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why do we keep living

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what is the purpose

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whenever someone complains about feeling worthless I can't even like comfort them

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Even I dont believe what I'm telling them

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Because we ARE worthless

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As a species we genuinely dont matter

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As individuals we dont matter

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99% of us will amount to nothing and then die

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I am in the 99%

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This just doesnt matter

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If i died tonight maybe a few people would be disappointed but they'd get over it quickly

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I wish i could just test t

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I wish I could see how everyone would react and then decide

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if i ever disappear for more than a few weeks im probably dead lowkey

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actually probably not

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I think im too much of a pussy to actually do it

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I wish it was painless and instant

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Like a self destruct button

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I'd be long gone

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whatever

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I guess I'll go to sleep

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I have a big day of doing pointless bullshit tomorrow

craggy hamlet
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I want to get a haircut

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I just got one like a month ago I think

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But idk it feels too long again

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wuf

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Going to the park

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OMG

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PERFECT GIF

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I heart eevees

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I think my favorite eeveelution is sylveon

fading prawn
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U matter

craggy hamlet
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one of my friends literally told me to shut up and that she didn't want to hear me talk anymore today

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like what

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she didn't even say "im kidding" or "sorry" after

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no excuse nothing

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she wholeheartedly meant it

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because she was complaining about eating her stupid avacado bagel and how she didn't like it and I said "then don't eat it" and she said "I have to im trying to be more healthy" and I said "an avacado isn't the only healthy food in the world if you look up a list of healthy foods its doesn't just say avacado"

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and she said "shut up I don't want to hear you talk anymore I'm sick of you" or something like that

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like ok

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fuck you bro

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i cannot stand her right now

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SHUT UP

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she's so rude

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nobody here btw

craggy hamlet
craggy hamlet
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ughghghg

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I dont want to keep living

craggy hamlet
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I love. Being alive

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Yayyyyy

craggy hamlet
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im such a bad friend

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whenever my friends talk about their other friends that I dint know it makes me really mad

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well not like mad

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jealous I guss

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idk

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obviously I know its normal to have other friends and their life doesn't revolve around me but it still bothers me

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im texting my friend and her other friend keeps calling her like STOOP

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go away and let me talk to my pal 😒

craggy hamlet
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I hate everyone

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Everyone is stupid

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they need to be obliterated

craggy hamlet
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I still hate everyone

craggy hamlet
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i wish I was a little kitty

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making biscuits on someone i love

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i hope in my next life im born as a little kitty

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but a happy kitty with a nice home

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i don't deserve that

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in my next life I'll probably be something bad as punishment

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maybe I'll be a goldfish that lives in a child's bowl

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as my punishment

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that would be terrible

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im sorry

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I made a puppy mood chart

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Right now I think i am 3

craggy hamlet
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WOAH!!!!

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I came here to talk about how I was feeling very good

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But then I started feeling bad while opening the app to talk about it

craggy hamlet
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Wow I love life

craggy hamlet
craggy hamlet
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oh fuuuuckkk offffd

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fuck everyone bro

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fuck the world

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die

craggy hamlet
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im angry and I need a job

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and im sad

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and sleepy

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and uguguhhh

craggy hamlet
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bro what do you mean "I'll consider it"

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im paying for tickets, im paying for gas, AND im drivingn

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all you have to do it sit in the seat next to me

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what is there left to consider

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shes just looking for excuses atp

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"we have a lot to do around the house today..." ok I'll do it "well its going to rain...." ok i need to practice driving in the rain anyway "I need to go to the store..." cool I'll drive you there after the show

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I'm not missing this

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I promised her I'd be there i WILL be there

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I will find a fucking way

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then I started crying and she was like "why are you crying" and I was like "because thats a no and I promised her I'd be there" and she was like "it's not a no yet stop crying. she didn't come to your show last year" yeah bro that was over a year ago

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I'm over it

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do you know how terrible it feels for your friends to promise you they'll come and watch you perform but then when you're on stage you look out and you don't see them in the audience?

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I know how that feels

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I don't want my friend to feel that way

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I mean she had a valid reason to say no ar first we're broke as shit and literally cant afford gas rn but I found enough money to get us gas I WILL get us gas

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I found enough for tickets and gas bruh

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pleeeease

craggy hamlet
craggy hamlet
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oh update I found a way there

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it was good!!

craggy hamlet
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THIS GUY LMFAO

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He asked me to dm him bc I was talking about planning a character and he was like "if you dont mind, I could help bring him to life"

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And I was like "oh thats really cool! I dont have any way to pay you though, I dont have paypal"

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And he was like "im sure your parents wouldn't mind paying"

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NO BRO

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IM OKAY

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I thought we were just discussing man

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I dont need you to draw him

raven bridge
craggy hamlet
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LIKE WDYM

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hes messaging me again today like broooo leave me alone

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I dont want your art bro I'm broke

craggy hamlet
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i spent all day making cardboard cutouts

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I'm getting $45 for them on Monday! Yay!!!!

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Hopefully one day I'll be able to set up a bank account and sell them online too, but not anytime soon :(

craggy hamlet
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ive spent all fuckimg day studying

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if i don't get a 3 on this ap exam im going to turn evil

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a 3 is all I want man

fading prawn
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i got 5 and 4's on every AP

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u have to be dedicated

craggy hamlet
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i took the test today

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won't know my results until july

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idk how I did

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im tired

jaunty beacon
craggy hamlet
craggy hamlet
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bro

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don't pmo

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leave my critter alone!!!!

craggy hamlet
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I'd be really good at running a podcast

craggy hamlet
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do caterpillars know they're gonna become butterflies or is it just a surprise

craggy hamlet
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why do i need to learn math brah

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I dont get it

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I'm only 3 minutes old don't make me learn this

craggy hamlet
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god I fuckimg hate people

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I hate everyone and everything

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well just for right now

jaunty beacon
raven bridge
craggy hamlet
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AWWWWW

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A BABY

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i may be a lesbian

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🤔

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idgaf though there's bigger fish to fry rn

jaunty beacon
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🧁

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feel free to talk to me when you want to

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here for you

craggy hamlet
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You so sweet

craggy hamlet
craggy hamlet
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Huddle id getting to my brain bro i forgot discussion of politics is allowed in some servers LMAOO somebody brought something political up and I was like "omg there's a mod in chat they're gonna get in trouble" and then the mod joined in the conversation

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thats so silly

craggy hamlet
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i kind of want to die before 18

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the minimum wage where I am is $15 which is a lot isnt it?

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if i work 40 hours a week with a minimum wage job for an entire year I would make $24,500 after taxes

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on average a USED car where I live costs $33,300

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if i worked 40 hours a week for an entire year and saved every penny I made i wouldnt be able to fully pay off a used car

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thats 2080 hours of my life GONE and I couldn't even get a fucking car to take me to and from work

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why would I want to live

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im not going to get into some high paying career let's be so fucking for real

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most people dont most people surf from miserable job to even more miserable job until they find something that sucks slightly less and pays slightly more

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unless youre extremely skilled or privileged enough to be able to afford college to get extremely skilled amd let's be so fucking for real im not going to college

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no matter how much I want to im not getting in

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my mom didnt even finish college because she had me and shes still paying off her debts

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I dont want to live like this my entire life I don't want to work until I die

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But im going to have to im going to work a shitty job in a shitty town forever

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because its too expensive to move im never going to get out of here

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i dont want to live long enough to experience that