#rat journal i guess

2773 messages · Page 3 of 3 (latest)

upbeat wigeon
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6-30 against swift

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good few games i kinda threw but the fact i was pressing him decently hard a good few games feels great

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lowkey ive been thinking that tagging in bella is the move when i get a hit, its just that the idea of killing pea early is too high of a reward

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cause like duo ratio enables her so much regardless of the order

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if i tagged in bella early and just zoned her out, combod he mixed her whatever,

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its still really bad cause shell build so much meter just from getting hit

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and because the duo ratio has better health she gets so much

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meter that pea now has access too once bella dies

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but if i kill pea immediately its like

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bella w 5 bars is bullshit, but pea with 5 is more bullshit

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actually i take that back

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bella w 5 bars is lowkey not even a real threat

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cause on duo she's already fuckin blowing you up for half of anything she does

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and its not like he's burning all that meter actively

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its msotly for your last character or to kill a character whos all full hp

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i think i kinda found the method tho with tk l beam

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cause if you do it right it stops her AND the assist which is genuinely so huge

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i think in those moments if its duo ratio, i should press and get her back to the wall

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or no

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no yes

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if its duo yes, if its trio then i should zone

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cause pea with no assist against robo essentially forces her to brute force her turn with item drop

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so she gets time to get her assist call back and get back to zoning

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i think im thinking about this right

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the only real issue i had was that if you fuck up against that duo and get ch by lnl assist or get caught in the hell loop of projectiles, you lose so much health that the deficit is like near impossible to really come back from

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like you really need to keep your foot on her and if you fuck up its sooooooo punishing

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like game losing punishing, even once

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i noticed it too against loxic

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cause like fighting loxic's pea is soooooo much easier than swifts

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no duo ratio plus no evil assists for her

upbeat wigeon
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10/25

won rtr this week yaaaaaaayyyyyy

upbeat wigeon
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metaroom dropped yaaaaaaayyyyyy

upbeat wigeon
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was watching back the tourney footage and only really two glaring mistakes one i solved mid game and the other still sticks around

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general combo consistency is still really bad for me

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but the major thing is that i in bracket i get so tunnel visioned that i play with the goal of "to not lose" rather than to win

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i dont have much faith in myself so my default for a long time was just to assume the worst, and get the best out of that worst if it makes any sense

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like my mind would be "im never gonna win, but i dont wanna lose immediately"

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so my goal often towards the start was to win 1 game and thats it

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so even though in casual play or whatever, id play really clean and take risks, respond appropriately to siutations yada yada,

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in bracket im like "well this has risk, and risk means i might lose, so i wont do it"

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and that leads to me playing bracket and casuals so much differently

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and i kinda realized that mid set

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i play so "scared" cause i really dont have much confidence in my capabilities

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but i came to a realization of "well id rather lose playing how i normally do, and get outplayed or outsmarted like that, than to play terrified and lose"

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so i guess the takeaway is i need to me more confident in the options i choose and take in the moments

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i think anti airing is such a good ex of that cause its just a spacing oriented and reactionary ability and you have to have full faith in the timing to do it at all

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i need to get my robo comfortable thats what

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thats why other peoples characters are so brawlic sometimes cause they have faith

upbeat wigeon
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10/26

god i love you ralsei deltarune

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someone asked me who my favorite out of kris susie ralsei noelle was and its like

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i feel like susie is the obvious pick but like i love all of them

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like i wouldnt even say i ralsei is my favorite

upbeat wigeon
upbeat wigeon
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ok im not one for online validation via likes and shares and whatever bullshit but like

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what.

upbeat wigeon
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run i had yesterday was kinda nasty

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found THREE invis and they hit blueprint twice back to back to back so i didnt even need showman and i didnt have overstock at all lmao

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was about to die like ante 13 i think and i found idol just in time

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hack was the first joker i found and i found an anhk and odd todd so i just ripped it then and ran with him for like the entire early game

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also found a soul card early with chicot in it

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i sold him for the first blueprint tho since i had reroll voucher by then

upbeat wigeon
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10/29

whatever

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all I can do is sit here and wish I could die

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what is fucking wrong with me

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i hate you so much

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someone should club you to death violently

upbeat wigeon
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10/30

friend wanted me to play deadlock and I can't cause my PC is too ass

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whatever

upbeat wigeon
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this danny brown album is gonna be so amazing

upbeat wigeon
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10/31

you math!

upbeat wigeon
upbeat wigeon
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coins

upbeat wigeon
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11/1

im ass

upbeat wigeon
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i felt off

upbeat wigeon
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11/2

friend hath returned from new york yaaaaaaayyyyyy

upbeat wigeon
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11/6

it is arriving

upbeat wigeon
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or i guess today

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when i wake

upbeat wigeon
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oh right

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was really good

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honestly was just dissapointed that jane wasnt really very present in all4u

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like thats the only song on it i didnt really like

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also that chorus lowkey sucked ass

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brokie is hit or miss for me and she hit this time so

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obv femt was gonna be banger

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quads were the best tho

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both of them

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actually maybe not

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idk

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the end was rlly rlly good

upbeat wigeon
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11/9

bro how does she do it

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its so fucking good man it's ridiculous

upbeat wigeon
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11/10

there's a horror to it

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in how no matter how much she screams, in the next one, it's more of the same but with a different coat of paint

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that it's a trap

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and in a way, even though it sounds strange

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I think that's kind of comforting to me

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there's no other way to really express those kind of thoughts and feelings

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they're inherently too big to even really ever BE expressed or spoken or imparted

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so naturally when you try to translate them, it sounds ridiculous

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extra, absurd, cringe, whatever

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but it's only that way because that's the brink of what you can push

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what, are you supposed to make a new language

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invent new gestures

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but I guess that isn't clear if someones never felt it

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and that's not any fault of their own of course

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Or anyones

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its fucked but it feels nice I think

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idk

upbeat wigeon
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I don't remember what this was about at all

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strange

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I got bio stuff today I think don't forget

upbeat wigeon
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11/11

glaglaglaglaglaglaglagla

upbeat wigeon
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11/12

is being alive evil

upbeat wigeon
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11/13

why was I incentivized to go to college without anyone even knowing what I even fucking liked

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oh oops

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like why am I only now being asked "well what do you like"

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You told me what to do and never allowed me to do shit outside of that box for 18 years and then you have the audacity to act like I'm supposed to have things I care about

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what is wrong with you

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and then act like it's my issue to solve it when I'm in college at the place where I'm supposed to know thta

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fuck you

upbeat wigeon
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nothing due till the 16th

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or til?

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i guess its until

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but til feels wrong

upbeat wigeon
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11/14

audio jungle

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11/15

immat da bank

upbeat wigeon
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i should be burned alive and flayed and splattered along the walls and skinned alive and dismembered

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i wish everyone on earth would drop to their knees in front of me and sob and beg and cry and scream forever

upbeat wigeon
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why am i mad im middle of the road

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dumbass

upbeat wigeon
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tl refreshed right as i was about to retweet banger lace art

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WHATEVER dude

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thangalang

upbeat wigeon
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childhood is idolizing the red seals
adulthood is recognizing the value in the purple seals instead

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things to consider!

upbeat wigeon
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11/16

super considering learning another fighter so i can play in locals

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itd have to be something people actually play but the issue is i dont really fw a lot of the more popular ones now

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i mean i never liked mk so tnats out of question

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way too rigid and slow

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and ive never played tekken and i also probably cant run that game

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street fighter is also too slow

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and sf6 is lowkey some hot ass

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strive is a super hard maybe

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because i cant deny that its so fucking easy

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but its also just so fucking boring sometimes

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itll flip between watching ram or hc or millia or bedman and going "god this game is lowkey tight" and then seeing slayer and potemkin and leo and and nago and going "this game is so fucking boring"

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honestly my main contenders are prolly judt dbfz, mbaacc, mbtl, or like xrd or smth

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strive is still a consideration tho

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maybe not actually

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why is ramlethal trapped in that shit ass game

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save her bro

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i guess shes in xrd too

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but shes like so hard in that game

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lowkey might be worth it to play ram again

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god shes so stupid i fucking hate her throw her against the walls

upbeat wigeon
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11/17

do people actually own switch twos?????

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who the fuck can afford that rn

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crazy

upbeat wigeon
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promise i like it like that 🗣️

upbeat wigeon
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ive been fucking losing my shit to this for the entire day man

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so fucking stupid man

upbeat wigeon
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11/19

uhhhhhhhhh

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been obsessed with this song after i relistened to it

upbeat wigeon
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sometimes when people talk about their pasttimes and interests and life and etc all I can think is "I really need to fucking kill myself"

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no fault of them

upbeat wigeon
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im gonna die alone in this room

upbeat wigeon
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I will have my way no matter what

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I will burn through flesh and bone if I have to

upbeat wigeon
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11/20

finally got around to listening to atrocity exhibition

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i had heard people talking good about aint it funny and i see why

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top tier

upbeat wigeon
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11/21

totally garnulaur!

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why do some guys have issue being called cute

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like what are you stupid

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makes no sense to me

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"i dont wanna be cute im a MAN" where is your joy and happiness

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actually thats hypocritical coming from me but the point stands

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i dont think ive ever recieved any kinda compliment on my appearance from anyone other than family members now that i think about it

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thats literally not true there was that picture my friends took of me and accidentally got a fire ass angle and i looked great

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i remember

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in 12th grade i was searching through my backpack and i found a packet from like months ago but when i looked through it someone had written on it "someone thinks you are cute" and like i connected the dots in my head and knew the handwriting was of the person who sat left of me, but the issue was that I didnt know if she wrote it from HER perspective or FOR someone else, so i ignored it cause i was scared about what to do lmao

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plus by that point it had been months so like

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would be weird to just go "hey did you write this"

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its funny too cause she had to have been waiting for some opportunity to write it without me knowing

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i didnt really get up and leave my seat often and i can recall the exact time where we were doing that EXACT packet in class and i left to use the bathroom

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weird

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that it happened i mean

upbeat wigeon
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11/22

brass really just allows you to force your turn at every instance he is on screen

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god it would be so easy if i just played big band

upbeat wigeon
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im not good enough for anything

upbeat wigeon
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11/23

idk why i thought tommorow was december 1st

upbeat wigeon
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11/24

there is a "song" that has been in my head because it is really funny but it is SUCH a bad thing to get latched onto and stuck in my head and to say outloud randomly

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like i was in the kitchen about to just say it right with my mom behind me

upbeat wigeon
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11/25

knuck if you buck boy

upbeat wigeon
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11/26

todays interesting event

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lost half my fucking body mass to the toilet fighting for my life

upbeat wigeon
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11/27

turkey day

upbeat wigeon
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11/29

someone should just shoot me in my head

upbeat wigeon
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i will never, no matter how much you try or accomplish or do or think will ever show or feel even the slightest bit of compassion or care or empathy for you for as long as your idea is alive

upbeat wigeon
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11/30

i fucking love reeces so much oh my god

upbeat wigeon
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12/2

ribbity

upbeat wigeon
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12/3

I'm lowkey not a real human being

upbeat wigeon
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12/5

I think both Jane and fem drop tommorow oh my goodness gracious

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well today technically

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but whatever

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also listened to Lucy bedroque since they seemed like someone I'd enjoy and I was right

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only listened to unmusique tho

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but that was fire

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g6 anthem, made in Italy, I am impossible, 🔥

upbeat wigeon
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I wonder if she's gonna lean into the machine girl feel from here

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Or at least for a bit

upbeat wigeon
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unrelated but finals for my classes soon

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like end of this week

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lowkey fucked for bio but whatever

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I accidentally missed one of my major tests on Wednesday thinking it was yesterday and uncharacteristically I didn't panic and just email the professor for an extension and they obliged

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I didn't even lie I just was like "bro I'm ngl I thought that shi was due today can you open it back up"

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anyways did that and got an 88

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good enough

upbeat wigeon
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i got 2nd and some money

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some fucking how

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it was pretty sloppy

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also dont know how much i earned yet since the beneficiary of the donos may be snoozing

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either way this is the first time ive ever won money in a bracket

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definitely definitely DEFINITELY couldve and shouldve played better, it was some genuine slop

upbeat wigeon
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12/6

won rtr again

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honestly did fine

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well fine enough

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koala fell asleep mid bracket so we couldnt play and he got dq'd

upbeat wigeon
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12/7

I'm a worthless fucking disgusting moron and I deserve to die

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nothing but a leech on everything and everyone around you

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nothing to show or say or do for all the faith people put into you why don't you just fucking kill yourself already

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you clearly have nothing to offer and continue to fail over and over and over again and you still have the gall to cost more money to take more air and to take up space

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life would be so much easier for everyone if you didn't exist

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I should delete everything and destroy everything I've ever owned

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I clearly don't deserve anything

upbeat wigeon
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everything I do eventually comes apart

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no matter what no exceptions

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because I'm naturally incapable of providing any sort of stable groundwork

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so naturally anything built on it is held together by tape and glue

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worthless

upbeat wigeon
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12/8

better

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I don't really take time to go back and look over what I put down here

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But I did now and I guess in the moment it feels like I'm the one yelling

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but idk reading it back feels like I'm the one being yelled at

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I get in the moment I'm doing both but it doesn't really feel like it

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anyways I don't feel like saying much other than that I accidentally spilled a little to my mom

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well not accidentally

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I guess I was just in a point where I wasn't able to really shake her off and she could tell something was wrong

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so I just told her

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Its funny because me missing the final wasn't even what she really stayed hooked on

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whatever I said self loathy shit out loud

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she talked to me and stuff and long story short I feel a bit better

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hard not to feel what I feel to a certain degree but what can you do I guess

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anyways oh my god I fucking want this thing so bad

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fucking little stupid ugly thing I wanna throw her around and squeeze it until it pops like a balloon

upbeat wigeon
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12/11

i should make a crest tier list

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maybe once i play enough with each crest individually

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and maybe two lists one for preference and one for viability

upbeat wigeon
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12/13

made this for no particular reason other than i was bored

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i wasnt sure whether or not to put multiple pokemon games up there cause i didnt wanna bloat it

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and like yeah theres 3 zeldas up there but thats differenyt

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would be lame if i had hk and silksong up there, botw, skyward sword, wind waker, and link between worlds, pokemon black 2, sun, Y AND ln 1 and 2

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just too much space

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anyways nothing except the top row is ordered so

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originally i had totk up there instead of botw but honestly the more i think about totk the more i kinda realize a lot of aspects of it fell flat

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highs are high but god does it get boring sometimes

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wind temple ascension section was sick as fuck and the thunder temple was good all round, and the final boss section was so peak

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not the 1v1 fight part

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i mean that was decent but it was done in like 2 seconds

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and really really easy

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i wish little nightmares 3 was good

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saddens

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me

upbeat wigeon
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i finished up my 4th run through like a few days ago and with that one i used beast for most of the entire game

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those two are my favorites so i did them first but i do genuinely wanna run throught the game with each crest entirely

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i think ill do wanderer next since i can get that one early if i do key route

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i also could do reaper, and i might at some point, its just that fuck reaper is so slow and boring and i hate it

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the other ones are rough tho cause you get them much later and by those points its like youve already done and beaten so much

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i feel lke the hardest would be witch in theory

upbeat wigeon
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12/15

last final done

upbeat wigeon
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what the fuck what the fuck

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WHAT

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I was so confident and ready to be like bait used to be believable and then checked the channel and then felt my organs shift

upbeat wigeon
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shift in tone, but please god someone please kill this guy im begging you

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and no im NOT talking about myself

upbeat wigeon
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12/16

feels like with every new ep of tadc it gets more and more apparent that these guys are definitely not escaping by the end of this

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i mean i think that was obvious from a while ago but i think its funny how in your face about it this one was

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like if this thing was about them escaping why the tf would we get so much focus on WHO these people are instead of like furthering the plot forward by like making incremental progress towards actually getting out

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my only thing is that because its OBVIOUSLY not that

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idk what tf this shows end goal would be

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or is

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like im trying to sit here and think but i really dont know

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theres no goal these guys are working towards

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i guess staying alive

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intrigues me

upbeat wigeon
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12/19

silksong ost tier list

upbeat wigeon
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12/21

it feels like nothing helps me live and only works to keep me from dying

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because surely if I stop breathing then THATS the worst of the worst and not whatever this is

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fuck all of you

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"it's just temporary" "oh you just have to survive until the next day" and whatever bullshit

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I have been doing that my entire life

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everyone has been you fucking idiotic disgusting piece of worthless dogshit

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Blinking and breathing is surviving, eating is surviving, drinking and thinking is surviving, doing nothing is surviving every second that passes by me is surviving and im fucking so sick of it it's poison

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there is no solace or comfort in shrinking everything down to such a horrible meaningless prospect and then living every single day out for it indistinguishable from the one before and the one after it

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nothing is the same as breathing, is the same as thinking is the same as eating is the same as drinking is the same as sitting is the same as nothing

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I just fucking want out of all of it but god knows I can't just freeze everything or stop existing because noooooo dying is so much worse than all of this

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why do people pretend that any of this is worth it

upbeat wigeon
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12/25

theres something wrong with me i think

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in 11th grade i didnt make any friends or nothing but in 12th i happened to make some by chance (the history teacher saw i always sat alone and paired me with the other guys)

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he said something to the effect of "just do one day and if you dont like it you can go back to sitting by yourself"

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anyways that got me in that friend group

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but after graduation i never made any effort to stay with them

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i mean i already suck at keeping up and messaging people

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we had a group chat that even by then i never spoke in

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and because that behavior didnt vanish when we graduated, i just vanished for them and never spoke to them again

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i never think about it but when i do i realize how much i regret it

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as with most things i know but this is onyl relevant now because one of those people reached out to me to say merry christmas

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and i feel like i should be happy but all i feel looking at that notification is fucking dread

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i dont even want to respond and its not because i hate him or anything

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i just cant

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what am i supposed to do be like "merry christmas" and pretend like i didnt dissapear into my little room for 2 and a half years

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or maybe just 2

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maybe 3 since this year is almost over

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i dont know

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the fact i dont says more than enough

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i always do this

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i dont understand why i cant be normal and just maybe fucking reach out every once in a while and keep base at least

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it makes me want to rip all my fucking skin off

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i cant fucking stand you so much oh my god

upbeat wigeon
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what is this some kind of december holiday

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I think I like that name

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and then she vanished from thin air

upbeat wigeon
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got a new chair we're so up

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the other one i had was leather and it got so worn down the leather started peeling and stuff

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this one is like cushion

upbeat wigeon
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12/28

play picayune dreams

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mmm yummy abberation yum yum

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that was so good, i think ill have it a SECOND time

upbeat wigeon
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got posters

upbeat wigeon
upbeat wigeon
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12/31

completely escaped my mind that this years about to end

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i dont think im going to set any sort of goal or expectations this time since ill probably just ended up disappointing myself once more

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im just dragging along for the finish line ig

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side note i should stop looking and reading about other peoples lives because anything and everything that exists outside my frame makes me miserable

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even people complaining about bad or boring or annoying things

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its weird that ive been using this thing for as long as i have

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with how my life is and how much fucking nothing it is id think that thered be nothing to say which i guess to some extent is true

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ive probably repeated myself a thousand times over

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i guess it makes sense

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i wish i could freeze everyone and torture them all by making them watch everything else go by them at light speed

upbeat wigeon
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1/1

yeah

upbeat wigeon
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Part 2 of the Picayune Dreams OST! Play the game on steam: https://store.steampowered.com/app/2088840/Picayune_Dreams/
This half of the OST is also available for purchase on steam and on my bandcamp! It will also be on streaming services in the next week or so.
I cannot put into words how much I learned while working on this soundtrack and how ...

▶ Play video
upbeat wigeon
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1/2

I wonder if in theory it'd work if I just walked out the house and never came back

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couldn't do it obviously but I guess in theory it would and I wouldn't really be stopped I don't think

upbeat wigeon
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1/3

I've probably already done too much damage to myself letting myself rot

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I realize that I've been lying

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it's not something like "big change requires big effort and I can't do that" coupled with "small change is too worthless to consider so I don't do it'

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It's that I can't or won't do anything at all

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I haven't once really ever tried even at a small scale

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whether that's because I don't want to or I don't have the faith or energy for it I don't know

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Maybe all of it

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I can't function

upbeat wigeon
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1/4

TNS online for sg is tonight

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only goals i have are to play well and to not explode if i play shit

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thats a lie deep down i wanna outperform at least half the bracket but ill try and keep it down low so i dont hate myself if it doesnt come to fruition

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theres 96 people here and counting

upbeat wigeon
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im out

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i mean i did about as good as i expected placement wise but those werent good games in the slightest

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go figure

upbeat wigeon
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1/5

I'm a catastrophic failure

upbeat wigeon
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tonal shift favorite pokemon list (top 50)

upbeat wigeon
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sometimes i feel a little bad going on quickmatch and zoning people to death but then i remember that double and eliza and beowulf and big gand and fortune are all STUPID and if you give them an inch they take a mile and then i feel no remorse when they quit and block me

upbeat wigeon
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1/6

"Keep at it man don't give up, you gotta keep trying" yeah man for sure I'll just keep ingesting cyanide for sure man it'll definitely work this time for sure

upbeat wigeon
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why does it feel good to hate myself

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I thought about that a little bit ago after I woke up

upbeat wigeon
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1/7

I feel horrible

upbeat wigeon
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I wish I was dead

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1/8

just now kinda realizing I been friends with this guy I think for 10 years now

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well not exactly since this year just started

upbeat wigeon
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everyone will sob at my feet

upbeat wigeon
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1/10

Wake up and get your ass to mars

upbeat wigeon
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1/11

someone brought up to me the prospect of attending an in person event in florida in august

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ceo 2026

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ive never been to an in person thing and i think id love to go but

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i just feel like if i did it wouldnt change anything

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i want to go and laugh and be apart of a thing and play and do something but like

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the reality is that either some online "aquaintances" and I, or my family and i (probably the latter) would get a hotel; in both cases I wouldnt talk much, go to the event, id place mediocre or bad, go do some other stuff and feel torn between wanting to be real and also wanting to get it all over with, and then ultimately leave

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nothing would change at all and i cant see any sort of world where it would be any different

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and i guess its like relieving in a way for some reason but it also makes me really fucking upset

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i wanna go out and be normal and be able to say i did cool stuff but i just dont think i can man

#

i dont get what is wrong with me

#

i want to be apart of things but at the same time it feels like im not allowed to be

#

and that i can predict every single step in how itll all eventually fall into place and that i still want it anyways

#

why is this whats getting to me of all things

upbeat wigeon
#

1/13

feels muted

#

normally I just do whatever and pass the time but now it's like even sg or any game does scratch the itch anymore

#

I don't wanna watch anything and I'm don't wanna play anything and I don't wanna go anywhere and I don't wanna do anything

upbeat wigeon
#

I suppose I can't do much else

upbeat wigeon
#

it feels as though nothing ever felt good even when i know that isnt true

upbeat wigeon
#

1/14

im nothing man

#

stupid fuck

upbeat wigeon
#

1/17

i should be a god without even having to bat an eye at anything

#

i shoudlnt even have to lift a fucking finger

upbeat wigeon
#

a failure is a failure no matter what surrounds it

#

no matter what

upbeat wigeon
#

everyone is better than me and im sorry

upbeat wigeon
#

1/18

this is so fucking funny

#

I've been crying laughing at the auto generated emojis on my phone for like 40 minutes now

#

this is the greatest thing man has ever wrought

upbeat wigeon
#

finished breaking bad yesterday

#

good

#

i have no idea why people hate skyler so much

#

deadass like top 3 character in that show

#

hated walt bitch ass tho

upbeat wigeon
#

im like the lebron of being a disgusting fucking awful horrible talentless fuck

upbeat wigeon
#

1/19

i wonder what all my old teachers would think of me now

#

what my classmates would as well

#

maybe itd be the same as before

#

probably

#

but to some degree im sure this was expected

#

that id be like this

#

i have

#

absolutely nothing

#

what the fuck is wrong with you

#

what the fuck is wrong with you

#

do you have a brain worm or something is that it

#

some brain infection or something

#

or are you just stupid

#

youve always been like it so why am i even asking of course its because youre stupid

upbeat wigeon
#

i cant believe i hated this song when it first dropped

#

what was i on

upbeat wigeon
#

1/21

pallete editor mod for 2nd encore dropped and i spent the last like 3 hours working it to make this

#

ralsei robo

#

i think it can be better but i like it i guess

#

thank god for hex codes cause my ass cant tell colors

upbeat wigeon
#

1/22

susie umbrella

#

and lancer is there too i guess

upbeat wigeon
#

1/23

it doesnt matter if i stop now or tommorow or the week after or the year after i will have what i want no matter what

#

i dont care about any of it

#

i will never care

#

make me lose make me fail make me lazy make me whatever the fuck you want i will not die until i have what i want and not only what i want but the way i want it and will get it in my way and my way alone

#

i will be great i will be good i will be amazing i will be everything

#

even if the process itself is beneath me

#

slowness and learning and everything is beneath me

#

everything that has ever been and is and ever will be is beneath me

#

i will and am above abosluetly fucking everything

upbeat wigeon
#

wordle is so easy

upbeat wigeon
#

1/24

never have faith in me

#

nothing i do matters at all

#

i give up

upbeat wigeon
#

fuckign stupid ugly bitch fuck you

#

fucking pussy loser

#

im the fucking best fuck you

upbeat wigeon
#

1/25

guh

#

this oinch

#

is gineminesourous

#

gigananorstus

upbeat wigeon
#

1/26

mind opening epiphany

#

I understand it now

upbeat wigeon
#

All it took was some stupid little sentence someone said to me

#

and thinking about it way too long

#

also I guess the snowstorm didn't happen

upbeat wigeon
#

1/29

I'm not a real person

upbeat wigeon
#

the gap between me and other players that are good is so wide and i hate it so much

upbeat wigeon
#

i hope we get a new ena chapter this year

#

or chapters

#

and katana zero dlc news

#

and layer 8 for ultrakill

#

silksong dlc and deltarun is already locked in so

#

oh i forgot femt drops on the 13th i think

#

i could feast or i could famine your call

upbeat wigeon
#

1/30

world would be a lot better if some specific people were killed

#

anyways frosty faustings top 8 was today that was cool

#

kendall the goat

upbeat wigeon
upbeat wigeon
#

2/1

i just realized and i dont know why, but ive been eating breakfast lately for some reason

#

normally i dont have the motive to do it but like for 2 weeks ive been doing it

#

and nothing prompted me i think so thats weird

upbeat wigeon
#

2/2

love chocolate

#

why is it spellef like that

#

chocklett

#

chock o late

upbeat wigeon
#

im thinkin righ

#

t

#

i guess i hadnt done improvement in this way in so long that i forgot it

#

i blame being stuck in my head

#

but my eyes and been kinda somehwat open

#

now watch me eat these words in a few hours

upbeat wigeon
#

Head up is so fucking fire

upbeat wigeon
#

2/4

i deserve to be better than every human on earth

upbeat wigeon
#

2/5

this image is so funny to me

upbeat wigeon
#

2/9

sponge boy get back onna grill

upbeat wigeon
#

2/11

it's not possible for me to feel any kind of friendship with anyone anymore

#

maybe friendship isn't right

#

attachment or kinship

#

that's probably why I stopped talking to everyone when I graduated

#

when there's nothing forcing it I can't feel it no matter what

#

that's probably why I don't message people ever

#

or do anything with people

#

I can't care for some reason and all I've ever done was pretend I do

upbeat wigeon
upbeat wigeon
#

2/12

almost there

upbeat wigeon
#

2/13

man bites dog

upbeat wigeon
#

forgot reanimal came out

#

wanna buy it

upbeat wigeon
#

2/14

valentino day

upbeat wigeon
#

2/15

clover pit is funny

upbeat wigeon
#

2/17

alright think ive listened to it enough to say now i think the only song on that i didnt really care for was sick of it

#

everything else was really good and man bites dog, city, my head hurts, and head up are some of my favs

upbeat wigeon
#

oh right and shows you the way was rlly good

upbeat wigeon
#

saw this earlier and i thought it was sick

upbeat wigeon
#

2/20

finished reaper crest playthrough yesterday

#

i took a break off silksong for a bit because tbh, i was having so little fun using reaper that it genuinely turned me off from playing

#

i got to widow the first time around, beat her, then didnt touch the game for like 2 months but whatever

#

finished it

#

im probably just gonna download mods to give me the other crests early cause like

#

you get architect so late into act 2 (or like halfway if ur consistently getting every tool) and the whole point of these repeat playthroughs was to play the game in full with each crest to get a whole idea for how the crests each interact with the game in its whole

#

witch and shaman crests are that issue but even worse

#

with the first 4 its like you can get them relatively early if u know where they are and just gun for them

#

but whatever

#

for now i wanna give my thoughts on the 4 i played with so far, being Hunter, Beast, Wanderer, and Reaper

#

or maybe actually itd be better to like divide it up

#

like rankings for combat and exploration each

#

Hunter - Exploration: 8/10 | Combat: 9/10
Beast - Exploration: 6/10 | Combat: 10/10
Wanderer - Exploration: 9/10 | Combat: 8/10
Reaper - Exploration 8/10 | Combat: 6/10

#

i think this is what ill settle on for now

#

i might come back and make adjustments but this feels fair to me

#

The only two i really wanna speak on are Beast and Reaper, cause hunter and wanderer are simple enough and self explanatory, theyre just solid kinda all round

#

though hunter is more fun imo

#

beast initially is really bad for exploration cause of the slots and the pogo, but honestly the pogo on it is more unusual than it is outright bad

#

it takes getting used to and in a lot of cases is still pretty bad, but i stopped struggling with it when i started thinking of it like a horizontal dash with a hitbox attatched to it rather than a "downwards" attack

#

if youre patient with spacing its honestly really good

#

but i still give it a 6/10 because with other options there really isnt a need to "get used to it" cause most of all the other pogos are intuitive to get

#

for combat its fucking broken

#

this is a game where you get heals from hitting your enemies with your sword, so why wouldnt the crest that buffs your sword speed, range and attack power WHEN YOU HEAL not be broken

#

like it feeds into itself because you heal, go crazy, get all the silk you spent to heal back, and then pop it again

#

who cares if you get hit, you have fucking lifesteal

#

just swing and everything dies

#

and then for reaper, to be honest, its less that the crest is bad and more like it just appeals to a certain type of style of play thats much slower paced and more focused on perserving your safety than dishing out damage

#

which is fine, i just think its fucking boring and lame as fuck

#

like the slow swing speed really just makes it so you cannot take punish opportunities as you normally would

#

the way i played it was playing slowly until i had excess silk, spend all i can on a punish window with silk skills, and then play slow again

#

where as normally my style is to be using silk skills pretty much in tandem with my sword swings at all times

#

but chasing enemies down with this thing just feels bad imo cause of how slow it is

upbeat wigeon
#

this is killing me idk why

upbeat wigeon
#

2/21

won rtr and got top 16 in sg community tour for mm 🗣️

#

took a game off ryuki and then died and then fought koala and died

#

that bumass peacock and her brass i hate

upbeat wigeon
#

2/23

i love shrimp and crab

#

i want shrimp and crab

upbeat wigeon
#

chemistry is so awful it makes me wanna shit myself if you like this subject you should feel bad about yourself and who you are fundamentally as a person

#

all this does is make me hate walter white even more than I already did

#

what the fuck was wrong with him his life is and was HORRIBLE to end up liking chemistry oh my god

upbeat wigeon
#

god this image is so tuff

#

also ENA NEW ENA YAY

#

joel g my life is yours for making human ena dark skinned

#

bless this holy world and holy land

upbeat wigeon
#

i wish i could play undertale for the first time again

upbeat wigeon
# upbeat wigeon also ENA NEW ENA YAY

ENA: Dating Oblivion is a new animated project I’ve been working on. I can’t share too many details yet, but it’s an idea I feel very passionate about as an artist. At the same time, ENA: Dream BBQ will continue to be in development.

Music by @METAROOM

Adam Kalberg...3D animation/VFX/Compositing
https://x.com/adamkalberg
https://gfxgrou...

▶ Play video
upbeat wigeon
#

fraud TODAY?????

upbeat wigeon
#

fraud tommorow?????

upbeat wigeon
#

2/25

finished it

#

best layer so far i think and it isnt even remotely close

#

gotta say though on brutal it is HARD

#

which like yeah but imma run through it on violent again tommorow and try and do better on all the levels

#

and then look for the secret level

#

also funny but i was on that final fight for like 30 minutes until i realized the grapple orbs heal you when you use them

#

i might be a fuckin dumbass

#

anyways well worth the wait 100%

#

I actually can't get enough

upbeat wigeon
#

2/27

i actually just cant p rank 8-3

#

like i cant even get 4 minutes into the level theres no way im ever going to be able to do this

#

i just suck too much ass

upbeat wigeon
#

I have come to the conclusion that this particular level just sucks ass to p rank and a good handful of the rooms are cool in idea but horribly poor in design

#

it's like rolling dice to hope something about the room layout doesn't shift at the wrong time and then fuck you in the ass for it

#

I can generally keep at levels and get consistent strays for them but this level is like 15 minutes long and I get around 85% of the way through and it's like I've only been there once or twice

#

so then I have to die and and die and die over and over to chip away at it

#

which again isn't the issue the issue is that in tandem with the fact that it takes me 40 minutes between attempts to get a run that gets there because of all the horseshit awful design before it

#

I did 1 2 and 4 easy

#

this is just undoubtedly the worst one to do this with in the main story so far

#

and it's lowkey making me fucking hate this level

upbeat wigeon
#

2/28

im ass

upbeat wigeon
#

3/1

fuck its march

upbeat wigeon
#

3/4

I want chocolate

#

and 30,000 usd

#

NOW

#

I am taking offers

upbeat wigeon
#

I should start asking people what their interests are solely to amalgamate them into myself to be more human

upbeat wigeon
#

im the fucking best

#

crazy they patched it and now its like infinitely easier to do when youre not getting clipped out of bounds every two seconds

#

still that rotating room on the red skull path is still horrible

upbeat wigeon
#

just gotta play a little better haha

#

just need to play a little better jus

#

t need to play a little better i think just a little better

#

little better!

upbeat wigeon
#

3rd i guess but ugh so ass

upbeat wigeon
#

runs where i play like ass and drop constantly and still place well confuse me so much

#

like how did we get here

upbeat wigeon
#

3/5

why in the fuck is the mirror reaper in cybergrind

upbeat wigeon
#

3/7

10,000 more losses to icontrol

#

im so dogshit at this game its insane

#

just horrible play every single fucking set why am i losing games to r1's

#

because i suck ass and idk why people like to pretend otherwise

#

fucking actual idiot unable to learn or win after losing the same way to the same people over and over and over again you fucking idiotic peice of fucking shit i hate you

#

lose to the same shit again and again and then people act like im anything i fucking hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it

#

dont talk about me dont say anything i do is good dont say anything its all bad all of it

#

down to the last movement of the control stick every thing i do i horrible and stupid

upbeat wigeon
#

why cant people look like cloud strife

#

cruel chud world i think

upbeat wigeon
#

3/8

made ultrakill ost tier list since fraud dropped

#

i feel like ive made one before, but i dont remember so i dont care

upbeat wigeon
#

3/10

children on social media should not be a thing sometimes

#

like what are we doing man come on

#

this is unrelated, but I just felt an overwhelming urge to create something nonsensical

#

not even like anything specific

#

just a vague feeling of wanting to make something incomprehensible

upbeat wigeon
#

3/11

finished OFF

#

super cool game, i just have no fucking idea what to make of it

#

im okay with that tho

#

theres a really easy joke to be made about beating this game but i wont do it because im above such childish nonsense

#

obviously

upbeat wigeon
#

fucking look at you look at you look at you

upbeat wigeon
#

3/13

head hurts

upbeat wigeon
#

i suck at everything

upbeat wigeon
#

3/16

I wish I could vanish without a trace and leave everyone behind sometimes

#

Not even in like a dying way

#

but like a ghost everyone I know wat

#

way

#

idk

#

fuck everything

#

I sound stupid as fuck

#

I hate it

upbeat wigeon
#

3/23

being dm'd bracket links personally

#

unrelated but FUCK CHEMISTRY OH MY GOD

upbeat wigeon
#

3/24
nasty ass run

upbeat wigeon
#

3/25

one game off Mario and one game off Icontrol to get top 8 I'll take it

upbeat wigeon
#

3/28

worthless piece of dog shit

upbeat wigeon
#

3/29

i deserve to be annihilated off the face of the earth violently

upbeat wigeon
#

3/30

this whole thing has made me realize i need to seize or start seizing this now

#

ive been in my own pockets making excuses and reasons and whatever to avoid trying to be apart at all because in my head i guess i already seperated myself from the community

#

and i already feel as though im not human enough to do so

#

but i feel like this outcome is worse

#

i knew him but i didnt really know him and idk but that makes me feel bad

#

i feel like i never tried

#

which i didnt

#

i dont know how to get everything out

#

it really sucks

#

its so unfair man

#

it just happened just like that and idk

#

i dont want this gap to exist anymore ive gotten to interact with some great people that i wouldnt have if i hadnt ever started

upbeat wigeon
#

im horrible

upbeat wigeon
#

4/1

i just played out of my fucking mind for no reason

#

the april fools demon took hold of my being and reversed my skill for just this one day

#

took icontrol to grandfinals reset and then lost 1 - 3

#

i was percieving

upbeat wigeon
#

4/3

theyres stealing my teeth in 3 days

upbeat wigeon
#

4/4

i just want to be good at something

#

fuck you

#

i deserve to be better than everyone

upbeat wigeon
#

4/5

my headdddddddeddssdsddd

#

urgh

#

theyre stealing all my fucking teeth tommorow

upbeat wigeon
#

4/7

this is so weird

#

I remember suffering way more last time when I got the left side pulled

#

bleeding stopped and pain stopped largely and it's only been like a day

#

I'll take it ig

upbeat wigeon
#

4/9

im the worst and i deserve to die

upbeat wigeon
#

other people breathe better than I do

upbeat wigeon
#

blinking and breathing and walking and sneezing and spitting and running and falling and pushing and swinging and seeing and feeling and shaking and knowing and doing and being and hearing and talking and holding and drinking and biting and smelling and tasting and trying and dying and recording and complaining and hurting and crying and laughing and cooking and smashing and drawing and burning and smoking and making and bonding and leaving and participating and winning and learning and growing and seeking and pleasing and keeping and burning and breaking and hugging and cheering and holding and kicking and screaming and jumping

#

when can i at least pull my head away or be inside or at least see it disintegrate so i cant be left out any longer

upbeat wigeon
#

i give up

upbeat wigeon
#

4/17

i have taken a break from sg and in return gotten horribly addicted to pokemon champions

#

winning is like doing fent (the good part) and losing is also like fent (the bad part)

#

i think i have settled on this team

#

originally i was thinking maybe i needed to swap out someone with another special attacker since i only have milotic

#

and originally that was gonna be mimikyu, probably for froslass or gardevoir when i got them

#

but i realize that I LIKE mimikyu and also he has oulled through for me so many times that I cant take him off the team now

#

he earned his spot

#

surely i get out of ultra ball soon

#

also i HATE MEGANIUM

#

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING THING

#

i need to keep sneasler alive for that thing

upbeat wigeon
#

yep

#

im thinking im freaking awesome sauce

upbeat wigeon
#

i suck at everything and I deserve to die

upbeat wigeon
#

4/21

interview tomorrow at the library for some reason

#

cool

upbeat wigeon
#

4/22

interview went well I think

upbeat wigeon
#

i like this team a lot dude

#

its got just enough defensive and supportive shit but not enough to where i feel like im playing anything less than a hyper offense team i love it so much

#

i really really hope mega lucario z is good cause i will definitely be running it

#

also armarouge has grown on me majorly

#

and whimsacott is still corny but its broken and lets me do tailwind shenenigans so idc

#

i cant wait for them to add good items to this game

#

give me life orb weavile and flame orb marvel scale milotic and its fucking over

upbeat wigeon
#

4/29

i was looking for this for a while and i found it

#

im trying to rememeber where i even heard it

upbeat wigeon
#

5/1

my sister has afflicted me with a sickness most unwell

#

chud world

upbeat wigeon
#

5/2

dunno why i just remembered in vivid detail the time my older cousin pushed me into the deep end of the pool when i was like 7 or something

upbeat wigeon
#

5/6

life is all fun and games until that trick room go up❗

upbeat wigeon
#

5/11

orientation

upbeat wigeon
#

employed

upbeat wigeon
#

5/12

first day was today was just training tho

upbeat wigeon
#

5/13

this work shit easy

#

ignore the fact I have people helping me at nearly all times

#

who even cares

upbeat wigeon
#

im so tired of failing at everything and failing everyone at every single turn

#

just when will it fucking stop man

#

im so tired of being stupid

#

im so tired of being lazy and awful all the time

upbeat wigeon
#

I hate myself

upbeat wigeon
#

5/21

I so quickly go from "man I don't wanna get up to go to work" to "holy fuck I get MONEY FOR THIS!!!" and suddenly going to work is amazing

upbeat wigeon
#

5/22

armor tail and queenly majesty and whatever other prioirty blocking abilities there are, are the greatest cancer upon this earth i have seen

#

i cant think of a less fun thing

#

i think perish trap is corny but even that gets a pass cause at least its difficult to pull off

#

even dumb shit like scarf bascu or prankster pokemon feels more engaging than these abillities

#

why can these fucking pokemon do jack shit and just contribute like 100 fold for so many mons simply be keeping their fucking fat asses on the screen

#

like i swear to god ive had so many games where tsareena doesnt even fucking do anything other than stand there

#

just so genuinely fucking lame on every level of it

upbeat wigeon
#

5/23

wish i was at combo breaker

upbeat wigeon
#

5/26

tomodacher live

upbeat wigeon
#

5/27

Work

upbeat wigeon
#

i give up

#

ill never be good enough so im just going to stop caring or hoping

upbeat wigeon
#

everything i do and have ever done is wrong on a fundamental level and i will forever be wrong and horrible and awful at everything on earth as a subhuman worthless piece of trash

upbeat wigeon
#

5/29

this been stuck in my head since I heard it and I was humming it at work
https://youtu.be/0e6a0RFP69I?si=QXlV60yLd_bQ2oIY

song produced mixed all that by me

life 1 single 1

streaming: https://drop.cobrand.com/d/Quadecamusic/darkmagic

video directed by Quadeca and Brendon Burton
edited by Quadeca

producer - Paul Mauer
production assistant - Autumn Beviacqua
DP 1 - Zed Friedman
DP 2 - Ruben Plascencia
AC 1 - Cole Russo
AC 2 - Kristina Kardi
lighting - Harrison...

▶ Play video
upbeat wigeon
#

i think im going to take a break this semester and just reg for fall classes

#

just been too much lately and i recognize that

upbeat wigeon
#

5/30

why was that the best ive ever played in the history of this game