#rat journal i guess
2773 messages · Page 3 of 3 (latest)
good few games i kinda threw but the fact i was pressing him decently hard a good few games feels great
lowkey ive been thinking that tagging in bella is the move when i get a hit, its just that the idea of killing pea early is too high of a reward
cause like duo ratio enables her so much regardless of the order
if i tagged in bella early and just zoned her out, combod he mixed her whatever,
its still really bad cause shell build so much meter just from getting hit
and because the duo ratio has better health she gets so much
meter that pea now has access too once bella dies
but if i kill pea immediately its like
bella w 5 bars is bullshit, but pea with 5 is more bullshit
actually i take that back
bella w 5 bars is lowkey not even a real threat
cause on duo she's already fuckin blowing you up for half of anything she does
and its not like he's burning all that meter actively
its msotly for your last character or to kill a character whos all full hp
i think i kinda found the method tho with tk l beam
cause if you do it right it stops her AND the assist which is genuinely so huge
i think in those moments if its duo ratio, i should press and get her back to the wall
or no
no yes
if its duo yes, if its trio then i should zone
cause pea with no assist against robo essentially forces her to brute force her turn with item drop
so she gets time to get her assist call back and get back to zoning
i think im thinking about this right
the only real issue i had was that if you fuck up against that duo and get ch by lnl assist or get caught in the hell loop of projectiles, you lose so much health that the deficit is like near impossible to really come back from
like you really need to keep your foot on her and if you fuck up its sooooooo punishing
like game losing punishing, even once
i noticed it too against loxic
cause like fighting loxic's pea is soooooo much easier than swifts
no duo ratio plus no evil assists for her
10/25
won rtr this week 
metaroom dropped 
was watching back the tourney footage and only really two glaring mistakes one i solved mid game and the other still sticks around
general combo consistency is still really bad for me
but the major thing is that i in bracket i get so tunnel visioned that i play with the goal of "to not lose" rather than to win
i dont have much faith in myself so my default for a long time was just to assume the worst, and get the best out of that worst if it makes any sense
like my mind would be "im never gonna win, but i dont wanna lose immediately"
so my goal often towards the start was to win 1 game and thats it
so even though in casual play or whatever, id play really clean and take risks, respond appropriately to siutations yada yada,
in bracket im like "well this has risk, and risk means i might lose, so i wont do it"
and that leads to me playing bracket and casuals so much differently
and i kinda realized that mid set
i play so "scared" cause i really dont have much confidence in my capabilities
but i came to a realization of "well id rather lose playing how i normally do, and get outplayed or outsmarted like that, than to play terrified and lose"
so i guess the takeaway is i need to me more confident in the options i choose and take in the moments
i think anti airing is such a good ex of that cause its just a spacing oriented and reactionary ability and you have to have full faith in the timing to do it at all
i need to get my robo comfortable thats what
thats why other peoples characters are so brawlic sometimes cause they have faith
10/26
god i love you ralsei deltarune
someone asked me who my favorite out of kris susie ralsei noelle was and its like
i feel like susie is the obvious pick but like i love all of them
like i wouldnt even say i ralsei is my favorite
didnt mention it but twas gas 
ok im not one for online validation via likes and shares and whatever bullshit but like
what.
10/28
run i had yesterday was kinda nasty
found THREE invis and they hit blueprint twice back to back to back so i didnt even need showman and i didnt have overstock at all lmao
was about to die like ante 13 i think and i found idol just in time
hack was the first joker i found and i found an anhk and odd todd so i just ripped it then and ran with him for like the entire early game
also found a soul card early with chicot in it
i sold him for the first blueprint tho since i had reroll voucher by then
10/29
whatever
all I can do is sit here and wish I could die
what is fucking wrong with me
i hate you so much
someone should club you to death violently
10/30
friend wanted me to play deadlock and I can't cause my PC is too ass
whatever
this danny brown album is gonna be so amazing
10/31
you math!
i keep saying this outloud to myself idk why its so fun to say
coins
11/1
im ass
i felt off
11/2
friend hath returned from new york 
11/6
it is arriving
11/7
i will be tapping in tommorow
or i guess today
when i wake
oh right
was really good
honestly was just dissapointed that jane wasnt really very present in all4u
like thats the only song on it i didnt really like
also that chorus lowkey sucked ass
brokie is hit or miss for me and she hit this time so
obv femt was gonna be banger
quads were the best tho
both of them
actually maybe not
idk
the end was rlly rlly good
11/10
there's a horror to it
in how no matter how much she screams, in the next one, it's more of the same but with a different coat of paint
that it's a trap
and in a way, even though it sounds strange
I think that's kind of comforting to me
there's no other way to really express those kind of thoughts and feelings
they're inherently too big to even really ever BE expressed or spoken or imparted
so naturally when you try to translate them, it sounds ridiculous
extra, absurd, cringe, whatever
but it's only that way because that's the brink of what you can push
what, are you supposed to make a new language
invent new gestures
but I guess that isn't clear if someones never felt it
and that's not any fault of their own of course
Or anyones
its fucked but it feels nice I think
idk
I don't remember what this was about at all
strange
I got bio stuff today I think don't forget
11/11
glaglaglaglaglaglaglagla
11/12
is being alive evil
11/13
why was I incentivized to go to college without anyone even knowing what I even fucking liked
oh oops
like why am I only now being asked "well what do you like"
You told me what to do and never allowed me to do shit outside of that box for 18 years and then you have the audacity to act like I'm supposed to have things I care about
what is wrong with you
and then act like it's my issue to solve it when I'm in college at the place where I'm supposed to know thta
fuck you
11/14
audio jungle
11/15
immat da bank
i should be burned alive and flayed and splattered along the walls and skinned alive and dismembered
i wish everyone on earth would drop to their knees in front of me and sob and beg and cry and scream forever
tl refreshed right as i was about to retweet banger lace art
WHATEVER dude
thangalang
childhood is idolizing the red seals
adulthood is recognizing the value in the purple seals instead
things to consider!
11/16
super considering learning another fighter so i can play in locals
itd have to be something people actually play but the issue is i dont really fw a lot of the more popular ones now
i mean i never liked mk so tnats out of question
way too rigid and slow
and ive never played tekken and i also probably cant run that game
street fighter is also too slow
and sf6 is lowkey some hot ass
strive is a super hard maybe
because i cant deny that its so fucking easy
but its also just so fucking boring sometimes
itll flip between watching ram or hc or millia or bedman and going "god this game is lowkey tight" and then seeing slayer and potemkin and leo and and nago and going "this game is so fucking boring"
honestly my main contenders are prolly judt dbfz, mbaacc, mbtl, or like xrd or smth
strive is still a consideration tho
maybe not actually
why is ramlethal trapped in that shit ass game
save her bro
i guess shes in xrd too
but shes like so hard in that game
lowkey might be worth it to play ram again
god shes so stupid i fucking hate her throw her against the walls
11/17
do people actually own switch twos?????
who the fuck can afford that rn
crazy
promise i like it like that 🗣️
ive been fucking losing my shit to this for the entire day man
Flappy Bird - Flappy Love Song
http://youtu.be/uQjU7C7bcQY
Flappy Bird is a 2013 bird flying game developed in Hanoi by Vietnam-based developer Nguyễn Hà Đông and published by .GEARS Studios, a small, independent game developer also based in Vietnam.The game, which was released on May 24, 2013, was removed from both Apple's App Store and Go...
so fucking stupid man
11/19
uhhhhhhhhh
been obsessed with this song after i relistened to it
Produced, written, mixed, mastered by Quadeca
Directed, edited, story by Quadeca
© X8 Music
stream it here: https://drop.cobrand.com/d/Quadecamusic/Vanisher2025
twitter / X: https://twitter.com/Quadeca
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/quadeca
Additional prod by Noah Ehler
Clarinet by Joshua Rubin
THUNDRRR
Bring that outta me
Bring tha...
sometimes when people talk about their pasttimes and interests and life and etc all I can think is "I really need to fucking kill myself"
no fault of them
im gonna die alone in this room
11/20
finally got around to listening to atrocity exhibition
i had heard people talking good about aint it funny and i see why
top tier
11/21
totally garnulaur!
why do some guys have issue being called cute
like what are you stupid
makes no sense to me
"i dont wanna be cute im a MAN" where is your joy and happiness
actually thats hypocritical coming from me but the point stands
i dont think ive ever recieved any kinda compliment on my appearance from anyone other than family members now that i think about it
thats literally not true there was that picture my friends took of me and accidentally got a fire ass angle and i looked great
i remember
in 12th grade i was searching through my backpack and i found a packet from like months ago but when i looked through it someone had written on it "someone thinks you are cute" and like i connected the dots in my head and knew the handwriting was of the person who sat left of me, but the issue was that I didnt know if she wrote it from HER perspective or FOR someone else, so i ignored it cause i was scared about what to do lmao
plus by that point it had been months so like
would be weird to just go "hey did you write this"
its funny too cause she had to have been waiting for some opportunity to write it without me knowing
i didnt really get up and leave my seat often and i can recall the exact time where we were doing that EXACT packet in class and i left to use the bathroom
weird
that it happened i mean
11/22
brass really just allows you to force your turn at every instance he is on screen
god it would be so easy if i just played big band
im not good enough for anything
11/23
idk why i thought tommorow was december 1st
11/24
there is a "song" that has been in my head because it is really funny but it is SUCH a bad thing to get latched onto and stuck in my head and to say outloud randomly
like i was in the kitchen about to just say it right with my mom behind me
11/25
knuck if you buck boy
11/26
todays interesting event
lost half my fucking body mass to the toilet fighting for my life
11/27
turkey day
11/29
someone should just shoot me in my head
i will never, no matter how much you try or accomplish or do or think will ever show or feel even the slightest bit of compassion or care or empathy for you for as long as your idea is alive
11/30
i fucking love reeces so much oh my god
12/2
ribbity
12/3
I'm lowkey not a real human being
12/5
I think both Jane and fem drop tommorow oh my goodness gracious
well today technically
but whatever
also listened to Lucy bedroque since they seemed like someone I'd enjoy and I was right
only listened to unmusique tho
but that was fire
g6 anthem, made in Italy, I am impossible, 🔥
I wonder if she's gonna lean into the machine girl feel from here
Or at least for a bit
unrelated but finals for my classes soon
like end of this week
lowkey fucked for bio but whatever
I accidentally missed one of my major tests on Wednesday thinking it was yesterday and uncharacteristically I didn't panic and just email the professor for an extension and they obliged
I didn't even lie I just was like "bro I'm ngl I thought that shi was due today can you open it back up"
anyways did that and got an 88
good enough
i got 2nd and some money
some fucking how
it was pretty sloppy
also dont know how much i earned yet since the beneficiary of the donos may be snoozing
either way this is the first time ive ever won money in a bracket
definitely definitely DEFINITELY couldve and shouldve played better, it was some genuine slop
24 big ones
12/6
won rtr again
honestly did fine
well fine enough
koala fell asleep mid bracket so we couldnt play and he got dq'd
12/7
I'm a worthless fucking disgusting moron and I deserve to die
nothing but a leech on everything and everyone around you
nothing to show or say or do for all the faith people put into you why don't you just fucking kill yourself already
you clearly have nothing to offer and continue to fail over and over and over again and you still have the gall to cost more money to take more air and to take up space
life would be so much easier for everyone if you didn't exist
I should delete everything and destroy everything I've ever owned
I clearly don't deserve anything
everything I do eventually comes apart
no matter what no exceptions
because I'm naturally incapable of providing any sort of stable groundwork
so naturally anything built on it is held together by tape and glue
worthless
12/8
better
I don't really take time to go back and look over what I put down here
But I did now and I guess in the moment it feels like I'm the one yelling
but idk reading it back feels like I'm the one being yelled at
I get in the moment I'm doing both but it doesn't really feel like it
anyways I don't feel like saying much other than that I accidentally spilled a little to my mom
well not accidentally
I guess I was just in a point where I wasn't able to really shake her off and she could tell something was wrong
so I just told her
Its funny because me missing the final wasn't even what she really stayed hooked on
whatever I said self loathy shit out loud
she talked to me and stuff and long story short I feel a bit better
hard not to feel what I feel to a certain degree but what can you do I guess
anyways oh my god I fucking want this thing so bad
fucking little stupid ugly thing I wanna throw her around and squeeze it until it pops like a balloon
12/11
i should make a crest tier list
maybe once i play enough with each crest individually
and maybe two lists one for preference and one for viability
12/13
made this for no particular reason other than i was bored
i wasnt sure whether or not to put multiple pokemon games up there cause i didnt wanna bloat it
and like yeah theres 3 zeldas up there but thats differenyt
would be lame if i had hk and silksong up there, botw, skyward sword, wind waker, and link between worlds, pokemon black 2, sun, Y AND ln 1 and 2
just too much space
anyways nothing except the top row is ordered so
originally i had totk up there instead of botw but honestly the more i think about totk the more i kinda realize a lot of aspects of it fell flat
highs are high but god does it get boring sometimes
wind temple ascension section was sick as fuck and the thunder temple was good all round, and the final boss section was so peak
not the 1v1 fight part
i mean that was decent but it was done in like 2 seconds
and really really easy
i wish little nightmares 3 was good
saddens
me
12/14
on my first three playthroughs (first time through, then steel soul, then speedrun for the achievments) i used hunter crest primarily
i finished up my 4th run through like a few days ago and with that one i used beast for most of the entire game
those two are my favorites so i did them first but i do genuinely wanna run throught the game with each crest entirely
i think ill do wanderer next since i can get that one early if i do key route
i also could do reaper, and i might at some point, its just that fuck reaper is so slow and boring and i hate it
the other ones are rough tho cause you get them much later and by those points its like youve already done and beaten so much
i feel lke the hardest would be witch in theory
12/15
last final done
what the fuck what the fuck
WHAT
Hollow Knight: Silksong - Sea of Sorrow is coming in 2026!
Voyage across and beneath the salt-stricken seas in this thrilling expansion, free for all players.
I was so confident and ready to be like bait used to be believable and then checked the channel and then felt my organs shift
shift in tone, but please god someone please kill this guy im begging you
and no im NOT talking about myself
12/16
feels like with every new ep of tadc it gets more and more apparent that these guys are definitely not escaping by the end of this
i mean i think that was obvious from a while ago but i think its funny how in your face about it this one was
like if this thing was about them escaping why the tf would we get so much focus on WHO these people are instead of like furthering the plot forward by like making incremental progress towards actually getting out
my only thing is that because its OBVIOUSLY not that
idk what tf this shows end goal would be
or is
like im trying to sit here and think but i really dont know
theres no goal these guys are working towards
i guess staying alive
intrigues me
12/19
silksong ost tier list
12/21
it feels like nothing helps me live and only works to keep me from dying
because surely if I stop breathing then THATS the worst of the worst and not whatever this is
fuck all of you
"it's just temporary" "oh you just have to survive until the next day" and whatever bullshit
I have been doing that my entire life
everyone has been you fucking idiotic disgusting piece of worthless dogshit
Blinking and breathing is surviving, eating is surviving, drinking and thinking is surviving, doing nothing is surviving every second that passes by me is surviving and im fucking so sick of it it's poison
there is no solace or comfort in shrinking everything down to such a horrible meaningless prospect and then living every single day out for it indistinguishable from the one before and the one after it
nothing is the same as breathing, is the same as thinking is the same as eating is the same as drinking is the same as sitting is the same as nothing
I just fucking want out of all of it but god knows I can't just freeze everything or stop existing because noooooo dying is so much worse than all of this
why do people pretend that any of this is worth it
12/25
theres something wrong with me i think
in 11th grade i didnt make any friends or nothing but in 12th i happened to make some by chance (the history teacher saw i always sat alone and paired me with the other guys)
he said something to the effect of "just do one day and if you dont like it you can go back to sitting by yourself"
anyways that got me in that friend group
but after graduation i never made any effort to stay with them
i mean i already suck at keeping up and messaging people
we had a group chat that even by then i never spoke in
and because that behavior didnt vanish when we graduated, i just vanished for them and never spoke to them again
i never think about it but when i do i realize how much i regret it
as with most things i know but this is onyl relevant now because one of those people reached out to me to say merry christmas
and i feel like i should be happy but all i feel looking at that notification is fucking dread
i dont even want to respond and its not because i hate him or anything
i just cant
what am i supposed to do be like "merry christmas" and pretend like i didnt dissapear into my little room for 2 and a half years
or maybe just 2
maybe 3 since this year is almost over
i dont know
the fact i dont says more than enough
i always do this
i dont understand why i cant be normal and just maybe fucking reach out every once in a while and keep base at least
it makes me want to rip all my fucking skin off
i cant fucking stand you so much oh my god
what is this some kind of december holiday
I think I like that name
and then she vanished from thin air
got a new chair we're so up
the other one i had was leather and it got so worn down the leather started peeling and stuff
this one is like cushion
12/28
play picayune dreams
mmm yummy abberation yum yum
that was so good, i think ill have it a SECOND time
got posters
12/30
I'm so fucking serious bruh I am so fucking obsessed with this game it's insane I need everyone on earth to play this I can't stop thinking about it
12/31
completely escaped my mind that this years about to end
i dont think im going to set any sort of goal or expectations this time since ill probably just ended up disappointing myself once more
im just dragging along for the finish line ig
side note i should stop looking and reading about other peoples lives because anything and everything that exists outside my frame makes me miserable
even people complaining about bad or boring or annoying things
its weird that ive been using this thing for as long as i have
with how my life is and how much fucking nothing it is id think that thered be nothing to say which i guess to some extent is true
ive probably repeated myself a thousand times over
i guess it makes sense
i wish i could freeze everyone and torture them all by making them watch everything else go by them at light speed
1/1
yeah
https://youtu.be/WRCgqUxgotQ?si=oejy8B5-wIO68S3F this is stuck in my head
Part 2 of the Picayune Dreams OST! Play the game on steam: https://store.steampowered.com/app/2088840/Picayune_Dreams/
This half of the OST is also available for purchase on steam and on my bandcamp! It will also be on streaming services in the next week or so.
I cannot put into words how much I learned while working on this soundtrack and how ...
1/2
I wonder if in theory it'd work if I just walked out the house and never came back
couldn't do it obviously but I guess in theory it would and I wouldn't really be stopped I don't think
1/3
I've probably already done too much damage to myself letting myself rot
I realize that I've been lying
it's not something like "big change requires big effort and I can't do that" coupled with "small change is too worthless to consider so I don't do it'
It's that I can't or won't do anything at all
I haven't once really ever tried even at a small scale
whether that's because I don't want to or I don't have the faith or energy for it I don't know
Maybe all of it
I can't function
1/4
TNS online for sg is tonight
only goals i have are to play well and to not explode if i play shit
thats a lie deep down i wanna outperform at least half the bracket but ill try and keep it down low so i dont hate myself if it doesnt come to fruition
theres 96 people here and counting
im out
i mean i did about as good as i expected placement wise but those werent good games in the slightest
go figure
1/5
I'm a catastrophic failure
tonal shift favorite pokemon list (top 50)
sometimes i feel a little bad going on quickmatch and zoning people to death but then i remember that double and eliza and beowulf and big gand and fortune are all STUPID and if you give them an inch they take a mile and then i feel no remorse when they quit and block me
1/6
"Keep at it man don't give up, you gotta keep trying" yeah man for sure I'll just keep ingesting cyanide for sure man it'll definitely work this time for sure
why does it feel good to hate myself
I thought about that a little bit ago after I woke up
1/7
I feel horrible
I wish I was dead
1/8
just now kinda realizing I been friends with this guy I think for 10 years now
well not exactly since this year just started
everyone will sob at my feet
1/10
Wake up and get your ass to mars
1/11
someone brought up to me the prospect of attending an in person event in florida in august
ceo 2026
ive never been to an in person thing and i think id love to go but
i just feel like if i did it wouldnt change anything
i want to go and laugh and be apart of a thing and play and do something but like
the reality is that either some online "aquaintances" and I, or my family and i (probably the latter) would get a hotel; in both cases I wouldnt talk much, go to the event, id place mediocre or bad, go do some other stuff and feel torn between wanting to be real and also wanting to get it all over with, and then ultimately leave
nothing would change at all and i cant see any sort of world where it would be any different
and i guess its like relieving in a way for some reason but it also makes me really fucking upset
i wanna go out and be normal and be able to say i did cool stuff but i just dont think i can man
i dont get what is wrong with me
i want to be apart of things but at the same time it feels like im not allowed to be
and that i can predict every single step in how itll all eventually fall into place and that i still want it anyways
why is this whats getting to me of all things
1/13
feels muted
normally I just do whatever and pass the time but now it's like even sg or any game does scratch the itch anymore
I don't wanna watch anything and I'm don't wanna play anything and I don't wanna go anywhere and I don't wanna do anything
I suppose I can't do much else
it feels as though nothing ever felt good even when i know that isnt true
1/17
i should be a god without even having to bat an eye at anything
i shoudlnt even have to lift a fucking finger
everyone is better than me and im sorry
1/18
this is so fucking funny
I've been crying laughing at the auto generated emojis on my phone for like 40 minutes now
this is the greatest thing man has ever wrought
finished breaking bad yesterday
good
i have no idea why people hate skyler so much
deadass like top 3 character in that show
hated walt bitch ass tho
im like the lebron of being a disgusting fucking awful horrible talentless fuck
1/19
i wonder what all my old teachers would think of me now
what my classmates would as well
maybe itd be the same as before
probably
but to some degree im sure this was expected
that id be like this
i have
absolutely nothing
what the fuck is wrong with you
what the fuck is wrong with you
do you have a brain worm or something is that it
some brain infection or something
or are you just stupid
youve always been like it so why am i even asking of course its because youre stupid
i cant believe i hated this song when it first dropped
what was i on
Provided to YouTube by Metaroom
Curse · Metaroom
Curse
℗ 2025 Federico Lassalle
Released on: 2025-04-25
Producer: Federico Lassalle
All Instruments: Federico Lassalle
Composer: Federico Lassalle
Auto-generated by YouTube.
1/21
pallete editor mod for 2nd encore dropped and i spent the last like 3 hours working it to make this
ralsei robo
i think it can be better but i like it i guess
thank god for hex codes cause my ass cant tell colors
1/23
it doesnt matter if i stop now or tommorow or the week after or the year after i will have what i want no matter what
i dont care about any of it
i will never care
make me lose make me fail make me lazy make me whatever the fuck you want i will not die until i have what i want and not only what i want but the way i want it and will get it in my way and my way alone
i will be great i will be good i will be amazing i will be everything
even if the process itself is beneath me
slowness and learning and everything is beneath me
everything that has ever been and is and ever will be is beneath me
i will and am above abosluetly fucking everything
wordle is so easy
fuckign stupid ugly bitch fuck you
fucking pussy loser
im the fucking best fuck you
All it took was some stupid little sentence someone said to me
and thinking about it way too long
also I guess the snowstorm didn't happen
1/29
I'm not a real person
the gap between me and other players that are good is so wide and i hate it so much
i hope we get a new ena chapter this year
or chapters
and katana zero dlc news
and layer 8 for ultrakill
silksong dlc and deltarun is already locked in so
oh i forgot femt drops on the 13th i think
i could feast or i could famine your call
1/30
world would be a lot better if some specific people were killed
anyways frosty faustings top 8 was today that was cool
kendall the goat
music from the unusual ENA: Dream BBQ Chapter 1
play for free here!
https://store.steampowered.com/app/2134320/ENA_Dream_BBQ
artwork by Ferdinanda Cipriani Llontop
https://fercipriani.com
rare medium well-done playlist:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9501dbh3AM&list=PLPR1vtRjkuGtiZ46HXV9RdJB5WD2PH7Cl
Spotify:
https://open.spo...
2/1
i just realized and i dont know why, but ive been eating breakfast lately for some reason
normally i dont have the motive to do it but like for 2 weeks ive been doing it
and nothing prompted me i think so thats weird
im thinkin righ
t
i guess i hadnt done improvement in this way in so long that i forgot it
i blame being stuck in my head
but my eyes and been kinda somehwat open
now watch me eat these words in a few hours
Head up is so fucking fire
2/4
i deserve to be better than every human on earth
2/5
this image is so funny to me
2/9
sponge boy get back onna grill
2/11
it's not possible for me to feel any kind of friendship with anyone anymore
maybe friendship isn't right
attachment or kinship
that's probably why I stopped talking to everyone when I graduated
when there's nothing forcing it I can't feel it no matter what
that's probably why I don't message people ever
or do anything with people
I can't care for some reason and all I've ever done was pretend I do
Provided to YouTube by Supernature Ltd.
Amu · Iglooghost
Amu
℗ 2020 Gloo
Released on: 2020-04-20
Music Publisher: Domino Publishing
Composer Lyricist: Iglooghost
Composer, Lyricist: Seamus Malliagh
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2/12
almost there
2/14
valentino day
2/15
clover pit is funny
2/17
alright think ive listened to it enough to say now i think the only song on that i didnt really care for was sick of it
everything else was really good and man bites dog, city, my head hurts, and head up are some of my favs
oh right and shows you the way was rlly good
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"I'm a Machine"
Melody and Lyrics Written and Performed by Addy Valentine
Arrangement by Scruffy
Vocal Mix by Tyler Bartell
saw this earlier and i thought it was sick
2/20
finished reaper crest playthrough yesterday
i took a break off silksong for a bit because tbh, i was having so little fun using reaper that it genuinely turned me off from playing
i got to widow the first time around, beat her, then didnt touch the game for like 2 months but whatever
finished it
im probably just gonna download mods to give me the other crests early cause like
you get architect so late into act 2 (or like halfway if ur consistently getting every tool) and the whole point of these repeat playthroughs was to play the game in full with each crest to get a whole idea for how the crests each interact with the game in its whole
witch and shaman crests are that issue but even worse
with the first 4 its like you can get them relatively early if u know where they are and just gun for them
but whatever
for now i wanna give my thoughts on the 4 i played with so far, being Hunter, Beast, Wanderer, and Reaper
or maybe actually itd be better to like divide it up
like rankings for combat and exploration each
Hunter - Exploration: 8/10 | Combat: 9/10
Beast - Exploration: 6/10 | Combat: 10/10
Wanderer - Exploration: 9/10 | Combat: 8/10
Reaper - Exploration 8/10 | Combat: 6/10
i think this is what ill settle on for now
i might come back and make adjustments but this feels fair to me
The only two i really wanna speak on are Beast and Reaper, cause hunter and wanderer are simple enough and self explanatory, theyre just solid kinda all round
though hunter is more fun imo
beast initially is really bad for exploration cause of the slots and the pogo, but honestly the pogo on it is more unusual than it is outright bad
it takes getting used to and in a lot of cases is still pretty bad, but i stopped struggling with it when i started thinking of it like a horizontal dash with a hitbox attatched to it rather than a "downwards" attack
if youre patient with spacing its honestly really good
but i still give it a 6/10 because with other options there really isnt a need to "get used to it" cause most of all the other pogos are intuitive to get
for combat its fucking broken
this is a game where you get heals from hitting your enemies with your sword, so why wouldnt the crest that buffs your sword speed, range and attack power WHEN YOU HEAL not be broken
like it feeds into itself because you heal, go crazy, get all the silk you spent to heal back, and then pop it again
who cares if you get hit, you have fucking lifesteal
just swing and everything dies
and then for reaper, to be honest, its less that the crest is bad and more like it just appeals to a certain type of style of play thats much slower paced and more focused on perserving your safety than dishing out damage
which is fine, i just think its fucking boring and lame as fuck
like the slow swing speed really just makes it so you cannot take punish opportunities as you normally would
the way i played it was playing slowly until i had excess silk, spend all i can on a punish window with silk skills, and then play slow again
where as normally my style is to be using silk skills pretty much in tandem with my sword swings at all times
but chasing enemies down with this thing just feels bad imo cause of how slow it is
this is killing me idk why
2/21
won rtr and got top 16 in sg community tour for mm 🗣️
took a game off ryuki and then died and then fought koala and died
that bumass peacock and her brass i hate
chemistry is so awful it makes me wanna shit myself if you like this subject you should feel bad about yourself and who you are fundamentally as a person
all this does is make me hate walter white even more than I already did
what the fuck was wrong with him his life is and was HORRIBLE to end up liking chemistry oh my god
god this image is so tuff
also ENA NEW ENA YAY
joel g my life is yours for making human ena dark skinned
bless this holy world and holy land
i wish i could play undertale for the first time again
ENA: Dating Oblivion is a new animated project I’ve been working on. I can’t share too many details yet, but it’s an idea I feel very passionate about as an artist. At the same time, ENA: Dream BBQ will continue to be in development.
Music by @METAROOM
Adam Kalberg...3D animation/VFX/Compositing
https://x.com/adamkalberg
https://gfxgrou...
fraud TODAY?????
fraud tommorow?????
2/25
finished it
best layer so far i think and it isnt even remotely close
gotta say though on brutal it is HARD
which like yeah but imma run through it on violent again tommorow and try and do better on all the levels
and then look for the secret level
also funny but i was on that final fight for like 30 minutes until i realized the grapple orbs heal you when you use them
i might be a fuckin dumbass
anyways well worth the wait 100%
I actually can't get enough
2/27
i actually just cant p rank 8-3
like i cant even get 4 minutes into the level theres no way im ever going to be able to do this
i just suck too much ass
I have come to the conclusion that this particular level just sucks ass to p rank and a good handful of the rooms are cool in idea but horribly poor in design
it's like rolling dice to hope something about the room layout doesn't shift at the wrong time and then fuck you in the ass for it
I can generally keep at levels and get consistent strays for them but this level is like 15 minutes long and I get around 85% of the way through and it's like I've only been there once or twice
so then I have to die and and die and die over and over to chip away at it
which again isn't the issue the issue is that in tandem with the fact that it takes me 40 minutes between attempts to get a run that gets there because of all the horseshit awful design before it
I did 1 2 and 4 easy
this is just undoubtedly the worst one to do this with in the main story so far
and it's lowkey making me fucking hate this level
2/28
im ass
3/1
fuck its march
I should start asking people what their interests are solely to amalgamate them into myself to be more human
im the fucking best
crazy they patched it and now its like infinitely easier to do when youre not getting clipped out of bounds every two seconds
still that rotating room on the red skull path is still horrible
just gotta play a little better haha
just need to play a little better jus
t need to play a little better i think just a little better
little better!
3rd i guess but ugh so ass
runs where i play like ass and drop constantly and still place well confuse me so much
like how did we get here
3/5
why in the fuck is the mirror reaper in cybergrind
3/7
10,000 more losses to icontrol
im so dogshit at this game its insane
just horrible play every single fucking set why am i losing games to r1's
because i suck ass and idk why people like to pretend otherwise
fucking actual idiot unable to learn or win after losing the same way to the same people over and over and over again you fucking idiotic peice of fucking shit i hate you
lose to the same shit again and again and then people act like im anything i fucking hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it
dont talk about me dont say anything i do is good dont say anything its all bad all of it
down to the last movement of the control stick every thing i do i horrible and stupid
3/8
made ultrakill ost tier list since fraud dropped
i feel like ive made one before, but i dont remember so i dont care
3/10
children on social media should not be a thing sometimes
like what are we doing man come on
this is unrelated, but I just felt an overwhelming urge to create something nonsensical
not even like anything specific
just a vague feeling of wanting to make something incomprehensible
3/11
finished OFF
super cool game, i just have no fucking idea what to make of it
im okay with that tho
theres a really easy joke to be made about beating this game but i wont do it because im above such childish nonsense
obviously
fucking look at you look at you look at you
3/13
head hurts
i suck at everything
3/16
I wish I could vanish without a trace and leave everyone behind sometimes
Not even in like a dying way
but like a ghost everyone I know wat
way
idk
fuck everything
I sound stupid as fuck
I hate it
3/23
being dm'd bracket links personally
unrelated but FUCK CHEMISTRY OH MY GOD
3/25
one game off Mario and one game off Icontrol to get top 8 I'll take it
3/28
worthless piece of dog shit
3/29
i deserve to be annihilated off the face of the earth violently
3/30
this whole thing has made me realize i need to seize or start seizing this now
ive been in my own pockets making excuses and reasons and whatever to avoid trying to be apart at all because in my head i guess i already seperated myself from the community
and i already feel as though im not human enough to do so
but i feel like this outcome is worse
i knew him but i didnt really know him and idk but that makes me feel bad
i feel like i never tried
which i didnt
i dont know how to get everything out
it really sucks
its so unfair man
it just happened just like that and idk
i dont want this gap to exist anymore ive gotten to interact with some great people that i wouldnt have if i hadnt ever started
im horrible
4/1
i just played out of my fucking mind for no reason
the april fools demon took hold of my being and reversed my skill for just this one day
took icontrol to grandfinals reset and then lost 1 - 3
i was percieving
4/3
theyres stealing my teeth in 3 days
4/4
i just want to be good at something
fuck you
i deserve to be better than everyone
4/5
my headdddddddeddssdsddd
urgh
theyre stealing all my fucking teeth tommorow
4/7
this is so weird
I remember suffering way more last time when I got the left side pulled
bleeding stopped and pain stopped largely and it's only been like a day
I'll take it ig
4/9
im the worst and i deserve to die
other people breathe better than I do
blinking and breathing and walking and sneezing and spitting and running and falling and pushing and swinging and seeing and feeling and shaking and knowing and doing and being and hearing and talking and holding and drinking and biting and smelling and tasting and trying and dying and recording and complaining and hurting and crying and laughing and cooking and smashing and drawing and burning and smoking and making and bonding and leaving and participating and winning and learning and growing and seeking and pleasing and keeping and burning and breaking and hugging and cheering and holding and kicking and screaming and jumping
when can i at least pull my head away or be inside or at least see it disintegrate so i cant be left out any longer
i give up
4/17
i have taken a break from sg and in return gotten horribly addicted to pokemon champions
winning is like doing fent (the good part) and losing is also like fent (the bad part)
i think i have settled on this team
originally i was thinking maybe i needed to swap out someone with another special attacker since i only have milotic
and originally that was gonna be mimikyu, probably for froslass or gardevoir when i got them
but i realize that I LIKE mimikyu and also he has oulled through for me so many times that I cant take him off the team now
he earned his spot
surely i get out of ultra ball soon
also i HATE MEGANIUM
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING THING
i need to keep sneasler alive for that thing
yep
im thinking im freaking awesome sauce
i suck at everything and I deserve to die
4/22
interview went well I think
i like this team a lot dude
its got just enough defensive and supportive shit but not enough to where i feel like im playing anything less than a hyper offense team i love it so much
i really really hope mega lucario z is good cause i will definitely be running it
also armarouge has grown on me majorly
and whimsacott is still corny but its broken and lets me do tailwind shenenigans so idc
i cant wait for them to add good items to this game
give me life orb weavile and flame orb marvel scale milotic and its fucking over
4/29
i was looking for this for a while and i found it
Melotone Records
Cat M 1305
Matrix 16218
Recorded 10/20/34
Written By Allan Flynn & Jack Egan
im trying to rememeber where i even heard it
5/2
dunno why i just remembered in vivid detail the time my older cousin pushed me into the deep end of the pool when i was like 7 or something
5/6
life is all fun and games until that trick room go up❗
5/11
orientation
employed
5/12
first day was today was just training tho
5/13
this work shit easy
ignore the fact I have people helping me at nearly all times
who even cares
im so tired of failing at everything and failing everyone at every single turn
just when will it fucking stop man
im so tired of being stupid
im so tired of being lazy and awful all the time
I hate myself
5/21
I so quickly go from "man I don't wanna get up to go to work" to "holy fuck I get MONEY FOR THIS!!!" and suddenly going to work is amazing
5/22
armor tail and queenly majesty and whatever other prioirty blocking abilities there are, are the greatest cancer upon this earth i have seen
i cant think of a less fun thing
i think perish trap is corny but even that gets a pass cause at least its difficult to pull off
even dumb shit like scarf bascu or prankster pokemon feels more engaging than these abillities
why can these fucking pokemon do jack shit and just contribute like 100 fold for so many mons simply be keeping their fucking fat asses on the screen
like i swear to god ive had so many games where tsareena doesnt even fucking do anything other than stand there
just so genuinely fucking lame on every level of it
5/23
wish i was at combo breaker
5/26
tomodacher live
5/27
Work
everything i do and have ever done is wrong on a fundamental level and i will forever be wrong and horrible and awful at everything on earth as a subhuman worthless piece of trash
5/29
this been stuck in my head since I heard it and I was humming it at work
https://youtu.be/0e6a0RFP69I?si=QXlV60yLd_bQ2oIY
song produced mixed all that by me
life 1 single 1
streaming: https://drop.cobrand.com/d/Quadecamusic/darkmagic
video directed by Quadeca and Brendon Burton
edited by Quadeca
producer - Paul Mauer
production assistant - Autumn Beviacqua
DP 1 - Zed Friedman
DP 2 - Ruben Plascencia
AC 1 - Cole Russo
AC 2 - Kristina Kardi
lighting - Harrison...
i think im going to take a break this semester and just reg for fall classes
just been too much lately and i recognize that
5/30
why was that the best ive ever played in the history of this game