#đŸ“ïœœproofreading

1 messages · Page 2 of 1

heady nova
scenic knot
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Thank you. It's nice to be thanked for my effort.

lament matrix
vast plover
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Question: Tell me about your college life incident

Answer: Well, when i was in the school, i used to think that college life is the best part of life after my matric i got admission in Punjab college. Punjab college Punjab college is one of the best and famous college of Pakistan. There are many incident of my college which i will never forget but this incident that I am going to tell you is one that I can never forget. In my college life i had 2 friends one named Sheraz and other named Ahmed once we three were in the class Sheraz asked me Ali shan please give me your mobile phone i want to play game in your mobile so i gave him my mobile phone. After giving him the mobile phone i got busy to writing English work after 20-30 minute he said to me i have a surprise and after saying he started laughing i simply asked me what? He said i have reset your mobile phone i was like đŸ„Č what? But why and he just simply said i wanted some fun and started laughing well i got my mobile phone and I did not say anything to him and the matter ended there after some days maybe 7-8 days he rest my mobile again but this time i made up my mind to take revenge on him and in physics lacture i grabbed his mobile phone and threw it on the ground it broke in to 2-3 parts this is the incident that i think i can never forget

neon prawn
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Hi everyone, i'm currently preparing for IELTS and i've written an essay. The topic is "Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion." and here is my essay:

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It has been a subject of debate in recent years if doctors or engineers should
be obliged to work in countries where they've had their training or not. In this
essay, i shall scrunitize both sides and conclude with my own opinion.

A vast majority of people who advocate in favor of the former point of view
state that one's duty is to serve the country where his or her training was done.
They argue that different countries and places have different standarts when it comes to
training, and that it is not best practice to work somewhere where one is not trained in.
Although it's one's own choice to choose where he or she works,
they've also stated that one must feel obliged to serve the country and the
goverment which provided the training.

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However, not everyone agrees. Most people who argue in favor of the latter point of view
argue that one should be completely free when it comes to choosing his or her work place.
As a matter of fact, they state that a great amount of countries accept eachother's standarts and,
although the education and the training differs from place to place, doctors or engineers
could easily adapt to the different circumstances. They also point to the fact that different countries
need different types of work force and it may be beneficial for them to accept doctors or engineers
with different training backgrounds. For example, England is in a desperate need for doctors at the moment
and the only way for them to supply this need is accept foreign doctors. They now accept them regardless
of their training background as long as they have an advanced C1 level english certificate.

To sum it all up, some people argue that one is obliged to work where his or her training has taken place in
while others say that one should be free to work wherever one wants regardless of his or her education.
I am in favor of the second point of view because i think that one must be free when it comes to choosing the workplace
as long as he or she meets the requirements.

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Could you please critisize the passgae?

keen tendon
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Anyone is around to give me a hand?

heady nova
hasty shell
# neon prawn It has been a subject of debate in recent years if doctors or engineers should b...

It has been a subject of debate in recent years if doctors or engineers are obliged to work in countries where they've had their training. or not. On this topic In this essay, I shall scrunitize both sides and conclude with my own opinion.

A vast majority of people who advocate in favor of the former point of view
state that one's duty is to serve the country where his or her training was done.
They argue that different countries and places have different standards when it comes to
training, and that it is not best practice to work somewhere where one is not trained in.
Although it's one's own choice to choose where he or she works,
they've also stated that one must feel obliged to serve the country and the
government which provided the training.

hasty shell
# neon prawn However, not everyone agrees. Most people who argue in favor of the latter point...

However, not everyone agrees. Most people who argue in favor of the latter point of view
argue that one should be completely free when it comes to choosing his or her workplace.
As a matter of fact, they state that a great number of countries accept each other's standards and although the education and the training differ from place to place, doctors or engineers could easily adapt to different circumstances. They also point to the fact out that different countries need different types of workforce environments, and it may be beneficial for them to accept doctors or engineers with different training backgrounds. For example, England is in desperate need of doctors at the moment and the only way for them to supply this need is to accept foreign doctors. They now accept them regardless of their training background as long as they have an advanced C1 level English certificate.

To sum it all up, some people argue that one is obliged to work where their training has taken place, while others say that one should be free to work wherever one wants regardless of his or her education. I am in favor of the second point of view because I think that one must be free when it comes to choosing the workplace as long as they meets the requirements.

Note: I suggest working on clarity and refrain from creating lengthy sentences as some may find this difficult to read. I also suggest trying to change the wording as I've noticed the constant use of "he or she", "one", etc which readers may find boring. If you change your vocabulary from time to time, this extract will become more engaging. Overall, great job!

lime otter
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Guys.. would u please help me with the errors if there are any. I need this to complete the abstract of my internship report.

Intership activity is carried out at The 1O1 Yogyakarta Tugu Daerah Istimewa Yogyakarta for three months starting from 1st September 2022 until 1st December 2022. The internship is carried out to implement what the author have learnt during lectures. The author was placed in Accounting Department and was assigned to assist Receiving Section and Storekeeper. The author's assignments are selecting goods when received to meet operational needs, storing goods, and distributing goods. The author is able to analyze directly based on the theory which COSO has explained. Author ascertain there are few imperfections in the execution, and lots of deeds had been done improperly especially in authorization and in the accuracy of practicing internal control system procedure. Author explains reccomendations according to problems obtained on the relevant theory.

heady nova
# lime otter Guys.. would u please help me with the errors if there are any. I need this to c...

The internship activity was carried out at The 1O1 Yogyakarta Tugu Daerah Istimewa Yogyakarta for three months**. It began** September 1st, 2022**, and lasted until** December 1st, 2022. The internship was carried out to implement what the author had learnt during lectures. The author was placed in the Accounting Department and was assigned to assist the Receiving Section and Storekeeper. The author's assignments were selecting goods when received to meet operational needs, storing goods, and distributing goods. The author is able to analyze directly based on the theory which COSO has explained. The author ascertains that there are few imperfections in the execution, and lots of deeds had been done improperly**,** especially in the authorization and accuracy of practicing the internal control system procedure. The author explains recommendations according to problems obtained on the relevant theory.

next trout
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Is there anyone who would like some feedback on one of the Cambridge assignments? I need some work to correct for YouTube!

heady nova
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i recommend adding some punctuation

heady nova
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My opinion about the most attractive city in Turkey has changed after traveling to Aydın 2 years ago. Before visiting Aydın, I would always think that Bursa was the most enchanting city ever seen to a person. As every person, my opinion altered substantially after visiting some other beautiful cities that Turkey consists of. I proudly can say that Aydın is the best city for those whom came to our country in order to receive a good holiday, in addition, it is also a preferable city for the citizen people. To understand this astonishing city's jaw-dropping sceneries, there is a need of portraying, chiefly drawen by a phenomenal artist. The city's nature beautiness is not the only factor what made me have felt in love with, also the courteous and warm-blooded people that live in there. I am really happy to see a lot of foreign people convey bunch of good messages about Aydın's citizens have made theirselves feel at home. I can ensure that anyone who thinks of visiting Aydın will come back from there with a gesture of happiness. The mesmerizing and alluring attractiveness that Aydın carries, complete the art of being a desirable city. I love everything about that city.

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Are there any grammatical mistakes in this paragraph?

stone warren
stone warren
heady nova
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"portraying" in the 6th line should be "portrayal"

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"drawen" also in the 6th line should be "drawn"

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"The city's nature beautiness" may read better as "The city's beauty of nature"

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continuing the sentence, "..what made me have felt in love with"

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it would sound better as

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"The city's beauty of nature is not the only factor I have fallen in love with."

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"convey bunch" in the 8th line should be "convey a bunch"

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In the 4th line, it would be better to start a new sentence with, "In addition"

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thank you

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It's well written, it just needs to be smoother

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"have made theirselves feel at home" should be "that have made them feel at home"

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and the sentence before the last, it should be " completes"

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i still have a lot of way ahead of me to go through i guess

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ah, it's okay

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you must know another language?

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yeah, my native language is turkish and i've been trying to learn english for about 1 year

whole sentinel
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thats cool

heady nova
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for someone that's been trying to learn for a year, you're really decent

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thankyou

indigo schooner
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Today I am gonne discuss which Technic innovations help our humanity or which is not so good for our humanity and why many people say the Technical Innovations are dangerous because it grows and grows. The Question now is are technical innovations dangerous for the future or harmless for our humanity?

Firstly we start with the Phone. So good as everyone own a Mobile with a mobile you can take many nice actions you don’t know the direction no problem with your phone you want to text your friends or hear music on your phone all those options can you use with a mobile. Here a good example you went to shops and there is somebody who treats you with a knife so you can run away and call someone to help like the Police or someone else. But there are not only good points and helpful points when you use an mobile you can be hacked or someone try to find you and locate you exactly position because you phone tells him where you are, and also you have to charge you Phone it depends what phone you have but you phone will not stay with you the whole time

Please dm me

heady nova
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I'm sorry, I don't really dm people

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could i send you an image

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with proofreads?

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wait idk how to upload

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whatever, ill try to type it

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The first paragraph would be smoother as, " Today, I am going to discuss which technical innovations help humanity and which ones are harmful. I will also explain why many people say that technical innovations are dangerous because they grown and grow. The question now is: are technical innovations dangerous for the future or harmless for humanity?"

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then the second paragraph would go better as

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"Firstly, we start with the phone. So good, as everyone owns a mobile. With a mobile, you can do many nice things. You don't know the direction? No problem with your phone! You can also text your friends or listen to music. You can do all those things with a mobile. Here's a good example: You go to a shop and somebody threatens you with a knife. You manage to run away and call someone for help, like the police. But there are not only advantages. You can be hacked. Someone may find you and locate your exact position because your phone tells him where you are. You also have to charge your phone depending on what type of phone you have. Your phone will also not be with you the whole time."

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im really sorry, i dont know how to proofread stuff over discord

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Ik, it's way more helpful to do a line by line correction, but i am wayyyyy to lazy and wayyy to bad at typing to do that.

wicked stream
heady pine
# indigo schooner Today I am gonne discuss which Technic innovations help our humanity or which is...

Today i am going to discuss which technic innovations are beneficial to our humanity, and which are stated to be the exact opposite of that, resulting in a strong difference in opinion whether technical innovations are actually making our society safer.

  • One tip, don't start a statement with "firstly" as it screams for repetition.

let's start with the mobile phone.
*good as everyone is a mistake many people that root from eastern-germanic lingual countries make. this makes me guess you are dutch?
There are almost no people who have never touched a mobile phone in their life; it makes day-to-day life considerably easier with examples being navigation, texting and listening to music. Being threathened by someone having possesion over a knife? Police can be called and so crime rates are remarkably faster than ever! There are also disadvantages to be seen when taking a look at the mobile phone. it can be hacked, your location can be tracked, you have to charge your phone everytime it dies etc.
Concluding, I think the mobile phone has lots of benefits but also comes with its flaws, i think there's a good balance between good and bad when taking a glance at this typical 21th-century device

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not the best, but i'll guess it'll do

red ridge
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hi guys, check my sentence please:
"I'm scared of answering to this question".

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"I'm scared to answer to this question".

craggy elbow
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"I'm scared of answering this question"
"I'm scared to answer this question"
"I'm scared to respond to this question"

magic widget
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where can i talk to beginners

twin compass
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After the World Cup, Messi or Ronaldo questions and all Goat debates, I've start thinking again between relationship talent, hardworking and succes.

I think the answer is these though topics is actually kinda common sense but still sometimes you have to remember this answers again.

So I'll try to answer the question of Messi or Ronaldo with a scientific and normative analysis of talent and succes.

Before to get start, let me clear; I think Messi is better and Love him more than Ronaldo. But in my opinion the main question is not which is better or which do you love. the main w question is which deserve more appreciation?
Well I think this is the interesting question.

Ok you know the question.
Talent or hard work?
We know the "talent is nothing without hard working" qutoes and it's kinda true but not compeletly. Scientifically talent and IQ is the best predictor of academic succes, wealth, carrier even mortality. And I hate saying this but unfortunitelly hard working is can not competiting with this biological trait so well. Well yeah, sometimes training can beat talent but it's very hard.

Actually I couldn't explain well. Check these out
https://www.talent-quarterly.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/GrowthMindset_ig.jpg

https://www.talent-quarterly.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/GrowthMindset_ig2.jpg

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So if you have big talent congrats. You're like a lottery winner. Literally. Let me explain.

This is scientifical part. But we are not humans like who walk around in lab coats and study metaanalysis all day.

So the more important part is the normative conclusion that we can draw from this issue, which concerns our daily life.

Talent and IQ is as biological and genetic trait as like height or skin colour. And if it's genetic so it's lottery. Actually depends on amount of talent event it's more rare than lottery. And if it's lottery then talent/IQ can not have immanent value. Does skin colour have immanent value? Ofcourse not, this is disgusting idea.

twin compass
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Do we appreciate lottery winners or those born into wealth families? No. But we appreciate those who work hard and become succesful with their own efforts. We can only take credit for what we have built through our efforts, not our biological or environmental advantages.

So our winner and more successful competitor is Messi. But the person who deserve more appreciation is Ronaldo.

Ofcourse Messi work like hell too and Ronaldo has enormous talent. Nobody can be good like this only training.

But we know Messi is like gifted guy in class and Ronaldo is like Batman guy who has godly discipline. Actually these names are just symbol for this article.

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And if I have to choose between big talent or godly discipline for ten times, I'd choose 7 or 8 times discipline. Even if don't appreciation and big success.

The summary is "the small success that comes with hard work is more precious than big succes that comes with talent."

storm tapir
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Keep on or Not to (Minigame)

This game has 3 difficulties to spread out! I'll try to explain it all as well as I can.

In all the difficulties are required 4 people or more to start out.

(Easy mode/difficulty)

This game is about voting each other until only 2 participants remain. It's a game about betrayal, trust and argument.

Each player will have a basis number to start off with, the 0. This basis number mustn't be dwindled to a negative number (example: -1, -2, -3...), otherwise the player with a basis number below 0 will be eliminated. If a player's basis number rises to a positive number (example: 1, 2, 3...), it will not affect to the player and they will be keeping on playing. If a player's basis number doesn't change from 0, it will not affect to the player and they will be keeping on playing.

The ways to make one's basis number is dwindled or rised to a negative or positive number are the following ones:

As it was mentioned before, this is a game about betrayal, trust and argument to see who will be the one to be voted for. There are 2 ways to vote for someone; to vote for someone TO KEEP ON playing (A person has voted for B person to keep on playing) or to vote for someone NOT TO KEEP ON playing (C person has voted for D person not to keep on playing). Each KEEP-ON vote counts as 1 (One positive number) and each NOT-TO vote counts as -1 (One negative number). So basically, the way how a basis number can be dwindled is by NOT-TO votes (0 -1 = -1) and the way how a basis number can be rised is by KEEP-ON votes (0 +1 = 1).

(Examples: A: -3, B: +1, C: 0, D: 0 = A person is eliminated by majority of votes

A: +3, B: +1, C: 0, D: 0 = No one is eliminated)

If there is a situation where two players have the same amount of received NOT-TO votes (basically a tie), that round will discount and no player will be eliminated.

(Example: A: -1, B: -1, C: -1, D: -1 = No one is eliminated)

storm tapir
heady nova
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In the English questions channel, you were asking about basis vs base right? In this case, base number, rather than basis number, would be correct.

storm tapir
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so basis number is incorrect?

heady nova
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I think

storm tapir
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I'll keep it in mind

spare halo
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Is anyone online to help me proofread this sentence? I can't tell if its grammatically correct

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Moreover, the opportunity to learn from you, Dr. Ebeid, and other esteemed and knowledgeable preceptors, while contributing to an exceptional cause and institution, would be received with pride and appreciation.

safe rose
storm tapir
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Keep on or Not to (Minigame)

This game has 3 difficulties to spread out! I'll try to explain it all as well as I can.

In all difficulties are required 4 people or more to start out.

(Easy mode/difficulty)

This game is about voting each other until only 2 participants remain. It's a game about betrayal, trust and argument.

Each player will have a base number to start off with, the 0. This base number mustn't be dwindled to a negative number (example: -1, -2, -3...), otherwise the player with a base number below 0 will be eliminated. If a player's base number rises to a positive number (example: 1, 2, 3...), it will not affect to the player and they will be keeping on playing. If a player's base number doesn't change from 0, it will not affect to the player and they will be keeping on playing.

The ways to make one's base number is dwindled or rised to a negative or positive number are the following ones:

As it was mentioned before, this is a game about betrayal, trust and argument to see who will be the one to be voted for. There are 2 ways to vote for someone; to vote for someone KEEP ON playing (A person has voted for B person to keep on playing) or to vote for someone NOT TO KEEP ON playing (C person has voted for D person not to keep on playing). Each KEEP-ON vote counts as 1 (One positive number) and each NOT-TO vote counts as -1 (One negative number). So basically, the way how a base number can be dwindled is by NOT-TO votes (0 -1 = -1) and the way how a base number can be rised is by KEEP-ON votes (0 +1 = 1).

(Examples: A: -3, B: +1, C: 0, D: 0 = A person is eliminated by majority of votes

A: +3, B: +1, C: 0, D: 0 = No one is eliminated)

If there is a situation where two players have the same amount of received NOT-TO votes (basically a tie), that round will discount and no player will be eliminated.

(Example: A: -1, B: -1, C: -1, D: -1 = No one is eliminated)

storm tapir
# storm tapir Keep on or Not to (Minigame) This game has 3 difficulties to spread out! I'll ...

If someone has many received votes of NOT-TO and KEEP-ON by the people. Those votes will be subtracted or added up the one's base number.

(Example: B person has received 3 NOT-TO votes by the people, and 2 KEEP-ON votes [0-3+2 =-1], therefore B person is eliminated)

This game ends when only 2 people remain (at least in this difficulty), therefore it has unlimited rounds and breaks. The breaks are given for figuring out who must be the one to be voted for in he next round (or for figuring out on your own strategy to win), every break will have a specific time chosen by the dealer. The rounds are usually quick on time due to these ones are only to determine the result and count votes of the players.

The dealer is the person who receives all the votes of the players, gives the results in the end of each round and sets the time in each break.

Your vote must be mandatory anonymous and sent to the dealer, if not so, the vote will not be valid. Plus the one who gives the vote (to the dealer) must specify on who they vote for and if this voted person is for "Keeping on playing" or "Not to", otherwise, the vote will not be valid either.

The votes must be emitted when the rounds start, any vote emitted before a round will not be counted.

In the announcement of the votes, no one will be revealed.

The dealer will say the truth or the lie to the participants (the only time where the dealer will be honest is in the result to announce the votes in each round), don't trust the dealer.

heady nova
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The fourth line: add an "out"
"This game is about voting each other out until only 2 participants remain."

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because "out" means you are eliminating them

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Line 10: "and they will be keeping on playing" isn't correct grammar. This is better: "and they will keep on playing"

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and then after that paragraph:
"The ways to make one's base number is dwindled or rised to a negative or positive number are the following ones"
"The way to make one's base number dwindle to the negatives or rise to the positives will now be explained in the following:"

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the conjugations have to follow the tense

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and how it dwindles to a negative number and rises to a positive number

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it's a lot more to type

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but it's easier to read

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sounds like an interesting game tho

storm tapir
storm tapir
heady nova
heady nova
undone lodge
undone lodge
tough galleon
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"Fired from the 1:12 barrel then in use, the bullets would keyhole into paper targets as close as 50 yards away because they weren’t properly stabilized" What does the verb 'to keyhole' mean here?

heady nova
heady nova
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Quick q: in the sentence "In fact, we often go to the beach together," why is there a , after 'in fact'?

heady nova
red ridge
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hi guys can you check this:
Lately, when I've been playing that game I have noticed that ....

lucid parrot
robust badger
heady nova
robust badger
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yes, you would put a comma

heady nova
gleaming flint
heady nova
storm tapir
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Yes! There is a stone that has color, open your door, so you can see the sun, come your arms together and leave fear. Tell me what you feel and I'll tell you who you are, don't boast me things that you know you don't have, so you'll see I'm going to dream, I'm going to let myself to be conquered, by that game of your hair and your sweat ignites my fire, YES! IGNITE MY FIRE!

heady nova
storm tapir
hot ocean
# storm tapir Why is "come together" wrong and "bring together" is not? Or "Bring together" is...

They are not semantically the same. The technical answer is that "bring" is a transitive verb, and thus takes an object. "Come" is an intransitive verb, and does not take an object. "Bring together" (alone) does not make any sense. What are we bringing together? "Come together" (alone) makes sense without further elaboration as the meaning behind most intransitive verbs is typically contextual and in this context, it is an imperative statement with an implicit pronoun.

heady nova
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I wish I could simplify what Professor Horseman said but I cannot 😩

robust badger
# storm tapir Why is "come together" wrong and "bring together" is not? Or "Bring together" is...

bring together is more of a passive phrase, since someone or something is 'bringing together' something else
come together is more of a active phrase, since if a group is 'coming together' then they are probably grouping up, they are DOING the action
it normally depends if it is passive/active, that's the best i can give to you
if it didn't help then someone else will/would've responded as well

prime sierra
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Being old have advantages and disadvantages,
Many people think that being old is the best period in human life, while others think it's the worst period in life. well old age have advantages and disadvantages.
Firstly, old age is the time where our children are adult, we can enjoy our times with them, futhermore the social skills we have are developed extremely, in addition we have the opportunity to volunteer, moreover the life experiences we have been in make us have a respected knowledge.
The disadvantages of old age are a lot, the energy of an old person is low, also the health problems become more obvious, thirdly when are old we face problems if we want to enjoy our hobbies like watching movies in cinema and practicing sport, travelling.

heady nova
heady nova
prime sierra
finite matrix
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The double meaning of purity

My backyard was covered in snow. There was a line of trees just on the tip of our land, capped off with a humongous doubletree in the back corner of our plot. The sky was a dark dirty gray with a hue of red filling up the sky past the bushes and trees, you would’ve thought that there was a distant wildfire some hundred of miles away filling up the sky with its influence. I observed the scene silently before I began to talk to myself to narrate the beauty I was witnessing.
“I lay in the darkness staring out the window, observing the dark silhouettes of this pure canvas influenced by red
 I watch the snow dance down, enchanting my eyes with their natural beauty. The white snow danced seductively with the limbs of the tree’s silhouettes, as the pure sky plunders all color in the world but its own. I wonder if this is what’s meant to be seen, watching the particles fall into an endless pile that covers my grass and dead leaves.”
I remember that day so vividly, because it was the only time I remember the winter not stealing my mood, even though I was in the middle of a power outage. And ever since I’ve pondered about the true meaning of winter, and even though I have so many questions and theories. It’s an unfortunate truth, that the reality of winter is just a figment of what I see and feel.

heady nova
versed egret
versed egret
heady nova
versed egret
storm tapir
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It was a pleasure, it was a color, very usual from us to see kids with time. Everything was beautiful, all those times, the changes and your future body, it was a sound, it was a utopia, friends our, see you in my dreams. It was a desert sorrow, to feel fear and die of that!

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Look at that people, always changing, bitter flavor, they are being pooled onto the tablecloths

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The loneliness, the vanity, I don't take the risk of crossing the city anymore, the information, the disappointment, we are dressed for a carnival. Look at that people, always changing, bitter flavor, are sensed quarters. NOT TO GUESS OR THINK OF ME WHEN WAKING UP, don't give more of the same thing to me, I want to escape.

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It was a pleasure, it was a color, so usual from us to see kids with time. Everyone was beautiful, all those times, the changes, your future body. Look at that people, always changing, bitter flavor, they are being pooled onto the tablecloths

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NOT TO GUESS OR THINK OF ME WHEN WAKING UP, dont give more of the same thing to me, today I want to escape. I don't believe you, don't believe me, restart together, I DON'T REGRET IF I CHANGE! For starting off...

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Look at that people...

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Not to guess or think of me when waking up... LOOK AT THAT PEOPLEEEEEEE, I don't believe you, don't believe me, I WANT TO ESCAPEEEEEE, LOOK AND THAT PEOPLEEEEE, today I want to escape... I don't regret if I change for starting off

fringe crescent
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What is Life?
Sometimes I think of something that make me feel something. This something is so unusual and just comes out of the blue. I'd love to have a feeling that would make me happy even when I'm being alone. I always thought of being the only thing I can depend on. But, I'm wrong. I have fallen from grace and I can't think to improve myself anymore. This is currently happening to me. Little by little I'm trying to go back to the things I usually do, want and like. "This is not the end for me" I said to myself. Living can be very difficult for some of us. I hope to understand the essence of it. When I have so much thing to do. And, I can't do a thing about it. This will not help me too. I just clear my mind and just do the things that needed to keep me alive.

heady nova
storm tapir
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Deserts, rivers, sea. They hide my peace, and stop the intact time. I descend to the end, from where to start out? signals that say something. I wake up without nailing, to dream instead of, that it bites the void of years, traveling one more day, I wait for finding a trace that says when. THE HOURS, THE DAYS, THE TIME, A LIFE, NO NAMES, NO CLUES, your steps, an enigma. The years add more, that the tender age, in where you started loving (oh), my years without looking at, the life passing by, the hours I lacked (uh oh uh oh uh oh oh). THE HOURS, THE DAYS, THE TIME, A LIFE, NO NAMES, NO CLUES, NO RESTS TO TELL ME, THE HOURS, OF YOUR DAYS, IN WHAT TIME TAKES YOUR LIFE OFF, NO WAYS HE CORRECTS, THE MOMENTS YOU LACKED ME (I have to remember life...) click clock click clock click clock click clock click clock click clock click clock click clock click clock click clock click clock click clock click clock click clock.

storm tapir
storm tapir
#

I just want someone to look over my translation and point some mistakes, not the direct translation to both language

bright olive
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Once bitten, twice shy
living the dream, dying the lie
Giving in to having a try
to snuff out the dying light

Twice shy, taking flight
escape a certain slow demise
branches bare cracks and lines
fruit is rotting on the vine

Taking flight, starting anew
something real, something true
the grass is green and sky is blue
give it your best and you’ll get through

starting anew, means to an end
a selfish dream that never ends
burn the candle at both ends
collect eternal dividends

Means to an end is all we have
irrelevant, the “good and bad”
pushing through, bold and mad
long for the life you’ve had

all we have is rotting away
so you clasp on tight and hope it stays
no matter how you wish and pray
the aching never fades away

rotting away, your skin turns grey
organs fail and memories fade
hairs fall out and sight degrades
oblivion must await

once bitten, twice shy
the whole damned thing was just a lie
dropped six feet, everybody cries
nothing’s changed, now say goodnight

hot ocean
#

branches bare cracks [and branches bare] lines
[as the] fruit is rotting [up] on ...
... and [the] sky
long for the life [that] you've had
no matter how you wish [or how you] pray
the aching never [seems to fade] away

mostly syllabic suggestions to help with the flow a bit, though that may not be relevant to you.

distant siren
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hello

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is anyone willing to proof read my personal statement

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for grammatical errors and such

amber elbow
#

how long is it?

distant siren
#

4k characters

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around 400 words i think?

#

1 page and a bit

amber elbow
#

hmm, sorry i don’t have time right now, but someone else might

hard mica
#

Hey there can anyone read my opening paragraph dm me or ping me if you can pls

hard mica
#

may I dm you my opening sentence?

#

ok thanks I'll do it rn

hard mica
#

Hey there so I have another paragraph I would like someone to proofread pls ping if you are available to proofread it or dm me

hearty bison
#

Hey guys. Just wanted to say you're free to ping me here anytime you need Native help!

safe rose
hearty bison
safe rose
hearty bison
hard mica
#

Many difficulties were encountered while finding scholarly sources as when it comes to Tiananmen Square, the incident was confidential and it was quite hard to find many documents and articles about the topic as a result. Firstly, primary sources of high-ranking government officials often differed from that of a protester in the Tiananmen Square incident, a big reason for that is that I had to analyze two different perspectives. During the analysis, I realized certain points were missing for example, when reading “Prisoner of the State: The Secret Journal of Zhao Ziyang” I noticed that he gave reasoning for why the Chinese government had used military force in order to stop the Tiananmen Square protests, however in another text “China Diaries”, the author had left out reasons for why Tiananmen Square protests occurred, I believe this was due to the perspective that the author was a protester in the Tiananmen Square incident and everyone has their own personal biases in this case it was him being a protester he would want to portray what occurred for him as well as other protesters and not the Chinese government. This has given me a better understanding of challenges faced by historians. I also faced issues with finding documents of Tiananmen Square as for the most part the incident was very censored and not much of the outside world knew about what occurred as China has lots of censorship and doesn’t allow the world to see much of what they do, however this taught me new ways to primary sources of data and helped better my investigation methods.

#

I was wondering if someone could help me edit this paragraph

hot ocean
#

Is this formal?

#

Unless otherwise prompted, my first suggestion would be to switch to 3rd person. First person generally isn't used formally.

hard mica
hot ocean
# hard mica Many difficulties were encountered while finding scholarly sources as when it co...

..., a big reason for that is that I had to analyze two different perspectives. This doesn't make sense in the context of comparison between two sources. It should go in a related statement or directly preceding one. Also, it's a comma splice.
...I realized certain points were missing[.] [F]or example... Ambiguous "for example." Insert period and capitalize.
...Secret Journal of Zhao Ziyang[,]"... Insert comma.
...stop the Tiananmen Square protests[;] however[,] in... Separating two independent clauses with a conjunctive adverb. Use semicolon or period.
...why Tiananmen Square protests occurred[.] Comma splice, replace with period.
...author was a protestor in the Tiananmen Square incident[,] and... Connecting two independent clauses (that aren't short), add a comma.
...has their own personal biases[.] [I]n this case, it was... Run-on. Add punctuation and capitalize.
...It was him being a protestor[.] [H]e would want... Run-on. Add punctuation and capitalize.
...what they do[;] however[,]... Separating two independent clauses with a conjunctive adverb. Use semicolon or period.

#

Make these corrections and I'll give it another pass for clarity and cohesiveness.

#

Apologies, corrected the conjunctive adverb portions.

pearl tusk
#

Hi, I have an essay, which we will memorize and present in front of the class, feel free to correct everything since it's my draft :DD thank you!

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Growing up as a teen who loves playing Pokémon, sometimes life is like a Pokémon battle. (Pikachu, I choose you, use thunderbolt.) Obstacles, challenges, and defeats will appear in the form of bushes full of wild Pokémon ready to attack and trainers challenging you everywhere you go. Most of the time you think you are ready, yet when it comes, you end up disappointing yourself. Well, in this game, there is always an option to reset, train, and play again.

Throughout the pandemic, I’ve fought many battles, but among those battles, three of them were particularly challenging for me. As I run through the bushes, battle number 1, a wild “Realization of being molested when I was young” appeared! When I realized that my yayo, whom I cannot bring myself to hate, who is also dead right now rip, took advantage of me when I was in 3rd grade, and it went on for 6 more years. I couldn’t focus on my academics and my performance declined so much.

#

Battle number 2, Severe acne has challenged you to a battle! There were no more room in my face for more acne to pop out of. Because of it, I would submit my 2nd quarter outputs during the 3rd week of 3rd quarter. It was the first thing people noticed, and I was never insecure of my face as much before. Then suddenly, NAME vs Secret Boss, I was in a state, a state that I cannot describe, a state that my younger self couldn’t imagine being in when he grows up. Everything suddenly dropped on me. My chest was so tight, my clothes soaked in tears, eyes so dry. I thought I couldn’t do it anymore; life has finally defeated me.

While I was holding on for my dear life, I thought, if everyone else can do it, why can’t I? Why can’t I seek for help and tell someone. Why can’t I find a routine to treat my condition. Why can’t I prevent all of this to not end up in such state. I have no reason, so I slowly picked myself up with every strength I have left and reset. Back to face the realization, I have accepted and now comfortable to open up to others. I went to a dermatologist and finally wear the skin I thought I couldn’t have. Using all I’ve learned; I prevented going back to that state. I believe there is no such thing as true self, it has always been you, you at your lowest, at your highest, through thick and thin. Your true self can only get better because in this game, there is always an option to reset, train, and play again.

rigid harbor
# pearl tusk Hi, I have an essay, which we will memorize and present in front of the class, f...

"There were no more room in my face" --> "there was no more room on my face."
"I was never insecure of my face as much before." --> "I was never insecure about __ my face as much as I was before."
"Why can’t I prevent all of this to not end up in such state" --> "Why can't I prevent all of this so as to not end up in such a state?__" Adding "so as to" basically means "in order to" and it's a small phrase to include to add clarity to the sentence. Also, because it's a question, add a question mark at the end of the sentence. Also add question marks to all the other questions as well.
"every strength" --> "every bit of strength." Strength is an uncountable noun so it sounds off to count it using "every." So instead, say "every bit of" or "all of"
"I have accepted and now comfortable to open up to others" --> "I have now accepted and grown comfortable to open up to others."
"I went to a dermatologist and finally wear the skin I thought I couldn’t have" --> "I went to a dermatologist and finally wore the skin I thought I couldn't have." Because "I went" is past tense, you must also make "wear" past tense as well by changing it to "wore."

A few corrections you can make here and there, but otherwise, great work! Despite the few errors, it's a great essay. 🙂

pearl tusk
rare finch
#

Hi, Im gonna do a Business Book and I have been making the Book's description, correct my grammatical errors freely. Thanks

#

This book is a must-have for anyone looking to learn the ins and outs of business strategy and entrepreneurship. It covers the basics of running a successful business in today's ever-evolving world, from business planning and marketing to how to build your skills as an entrepreneur. It also looks at the best places in the world to start a business, focusing on key cities and regions where success is most likely. With insights from experienced professionals and detailed case studies, this book provides an invaluable roadmap for aspiring entrepreneurs.

heady tiger
#

Is this the correct form of Indirect speech? I converted it from direct speech. A guy met a stranger named Rahul who is now reporting it to his teacher.

A stranger named Rahul Saxena greeted me yesterday, asking me if I’m a student at St. Matthew’s School, to which I replied in the affirmative and added, asking, had we ever met before. Rahul denied saying no, we haven’t. He asked me, is Dr Dewan my principal. To which I replied, he retired last month, and Mr Das is in charge for now. Rahul asked if you were still the class 8th teacher, to which I added asking, does he know you. The stranger said he was an old student of yours, and asked me to tell you that he hasn’t forgotten all that you taught him.

rigid harbor
# rare finch This book is a must-have for anyone looking to learn the ins and outs of busines...

Honestly, this is perfect. I'd only correct one very minor thing, and that is where you say "... success is most likely." I would change that wording slightly to something such as "success is most likely the outcome" or "success is guaranteed." The reason I make this minor critique is because "most likely" is usually placed before another part of a sentence rather than at the end like how you have. For example, "success is most likely not going to happen," or "success will most likely happen." Otherwise, amazing paragraph, it's great!

#

Here's a better way to word it: "most likely" basically means "probably" or "certainly." And all these words, including "most likely" are adverbs. And you can't have an adverb at the end of the sentence as it would be incomplete. So, you need to add another adjective (or any other thing) following the adverb "most likely." So for example, "most likely going to happen," "most likely not going to happen," or "most likely not a good idea." Hope this helps 👍

hot ocean
#

That's not strictly true, and I've seen "most likely" used in that context. "Likely" is actually considered both an adverb and an adjective (for example, it's common to say "it's likely"), and additionally, "most likely" is also just considered an idiom.

echo moat
#

hey, excuse me, is there anybody who can check my mock ielts essay and give me a feedback?

rare finch
#

Thanks very much both of them for your corrections, I really appreciate it. I will be posting some parts of my book eventually.

heady nova
#

Can anybody give feedback on the structure of this text I made on geothermal energy?

Geothermal energy can be procured from natural heat originating from the Earth’s core, by means of either building geothermal nuclear power plants that collect turbine-powering steam through wells drilled into the Earth, or delivering wastewater to cycle in a deep enough layer of soil, thereby allowing it to heat up and generate electricity for small local infrastructure. This method is proven to be more sustainable and cost-effective than fossil fuel-based systems, and it produces virtually zero carbon emissions. It is also known for a fact to be a renewable source, as cooled water and condensed steam used to drive turbines are injected back into the Earth to maintain pressure levels as well as replenish heat reservoirs.

However, despite the list of advantages it offers over conventional fossil fuels, geothermal energy extracted from underground heat and magma packets accounts for only 0.2% of energy produced in the world. Since this process relies heavily on shallow Earth and other factors, employing such a method of power generation may not be sustainable everywhere as our technology is still being developed to match the demands of global energy consumption. Another problem with using geothermal energy is the cost of drilling wells in areas where hotspots are located several kilometers underground; the cost of creating one of the several wells required by a geothermal power plant can amount up to 20 million dollars. Furthermore, frequent drilling in some locations where volcanic activity is prevalent and the balance between magma and land pressure is extremely delicate, such as in Japan, may trigger earthquakes.

autumn portal
#

Hi, can anybody give me feedback on my essay introduction I made about not receiving love?

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Feelings in society help to overcome life's difficulties, challenges, and issues. However, the absence of love and affection causes a distraction in some relationships between family members, which can lead to severe consequences. This essay will be argued about the consequences of not being loved using references from the novel ‘April raintree’ and the short story ‘The veldt’. The consequences that will be explained include producing negative thoughts, death, and suicide. The more the child feels unloved, the more chances the results would be negative and permanent.

echo moat
safe rose
#

if you have an essay question, i recommend you to clearly state a thesis as well

heady nova
fierce haven
#

Hello! can someone proofread and help me shorten my script for a video?

desert siren
# autumn portal Feelings in society help to overcome life's difficulties, challenges, and issues...

Feelings in society help to overcome life's difficulties, challenges, and issues. The absence of love and affection causes a distraction in some relationships between family members, which can lead to severe consequences. These consequences will be illustrated including producing negative thoughts, death, and suicide. The more the child feels unloved, the more chances the results would be negative and permanent. Therefore, the argument of this essay will be about the consequences of not being loved using references from the novel ‘April raintree’ and the short story ‘The veldt’.

desert siren
echo moat
#

Native speakers/english tutors, check my ielts essay please 🙏🙏
What are my requests?

  • how natural does it sound? (if not, point out how to change that sentence/phrase)
  • how logically organised my info? is my essay cohesion and constinent?
  • are there any grammar or lexical mistakes? (if so, what are they and how to type more correct)
    (if my essay turns out being bad, please give me advice on what should I work on). I will be grateful for your help blossom
#

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation.

#

Certain contemporary artists are liable to gain a great deal of money for their invented things, whereas other people struggle for a living. Nevertheless, I personally would suggest that governments should not take measures to cope with that situation.

Firstly, artists tend to document human history that probably reflects issues, customs, traditions and the way of life at that time. From prehistoric cave paintings to frescoes, and mosaics around the world, to modernist and digital creations, imaginative people contribute to expanding human evolution from various perspectives. For instance, referring to the painting “Zaporozhians” (by Ilya Repin) depicts the valiant dour Ukrainian lifestyle in the 19th century and embodies the courage and bravery of the cossacks.
What is more, it is advantageous that historians and modern humans realize their history in order to dawn on events in the past which predetermine our present.

Secondly, artists provide communities with interaction, exhilaration as well as curiosity. The public may be interested in observing and contemplating workmanship, and meeting like-minded people to discuss because it satisfies their initial needs. In addition, local artists appear to bring a sense of pride to the community; it enhances their relationships among themselves.

Finally, the things that artists devise are their own labour as well as made efforts; therefore, it can be paid on merit. In spite of the vast majority of people, artists are aware of how to earn money with their charisma, empathy and their expressed sincere feelings.

To conclude, artists not only do demonstrate human history from all perspectives but also do they create a united community among people. Furthermore, like other people, artists similarly work and make efforts through emoting. Therefore, it is not reasonable to resolve that purportedly dishonest situation.

rigid harbor
# echo moat Certain contemporary artists are liable to gain a great deal of money for their ...

Very good and well written. I have two small critiques I'd make, though. Firstly, the word "inventions" would be a bit better than "invented things." Another slight improvement to be made in your concluding paragraph is when you say "artists not only do demonstrate human history... but also do they create a united community." The correct way to word this would be "not only do artists demonstrate human history... , but they also create a united community."

heady nova
#

Were can I write with a person?

soft blade
#

Hi it’s me again , how do you think my wiring and Where do I need to fix it?đŸ„č

IMG_3978.jpg
safe rose
soft blade
safe rose
#

for the first one, it is better to say "But I still want to be young"

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the second one, "I heard that researchers analyse/analyze many planets similar to earth"

#

god i made 3 mistakes in that sentence cuz of this stupid laptop

#

"That means I need 10, 000 years to view success..." doesn't make sense, reword it

#

and from your other response, "I want to have many animal." Animal should be animals because you stated many

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Next sentence after, I don't know what you mean by "bod." Do you mean "body?"

soft blade
safe rose
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And the conclusion should be written as "I have a lot of things I want to do in my life but if **you're **not young, you may lose your right to do what you want to do.

soft blade
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Thank you so much next time I becareful

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@safe rose

safe rose
#

no worries!

echo moat
hot ocean
# echo moat thank you! i would like also to know whether my essay looks like natural? i mean...

I wouldn't use "cope" in the second sentence, as "resolve" seems more appropriate. You use this in the last paragraph as well, so maybe you can try a closer synonym like "remedy."

"From prehistoric cave paintings to frescoes, and mosaics around the world, to modernist and digital creations," is a bit awkward. Which elements are you actually trying to separate in the list? It's a bit unclear.

"referring to the painting..." is not the appropriate way to introduce the painting. You should leave "referring" out and just use "in the painting..." instead, or use refer in the appropriate tense as it does not agree with "depicts."

In "observing and contemplating workmanship, and meeting," the comma is unnecessary. These are not two complex elements nor two independent clauses, so we don't need a comma.

"Finally, the things that artists devise are their own labour as well as made efforts;..." You should add "of" before "their own labor" to correctly state that what they're creating is of their own labour and not the labour itself. Also, I'm not sure what you're trying to articulate with the phrase "made efforts."

In your conclusion, you should reiterate your claim since the reader often has to digest a lot of information beforehand, and so the argument you're making can easily be forgotten.

The other suggestions made by Alex are also appropriate.

Finally, an overall suggestion would be to get rid of your "uncertain" words you're using in the essay. When you aim to make a point, an argument, or any other synonymous claim, you must emphasize your certainty of the topic. You do not want to introduce uncertainties into a claim, as you are claiming, not questioning. You are in charge of the research and ideas presented and must present them wholly and with conviction.

echo moat
#

And also, im a bit baffled what is exact in my essay shows my uncertainty in arguments? đŸ€”

hot ocean
hot ocean
# echo moat And also, im a bit baffled what is exact in my essay shows my uncertainty in arg...

"Nevertheless, I personally would suggest that governments should not take measures to cope with that situation. "
Words like "would" and "should" can be omitted when they demonstrate uncertainty. Speaking "personally" also isn't necessary when making a claim, as it is not only understood, but draws attention away from the claim. You are arguing not on only your own behalf, but to demonstrate that a stance is correct.

echo moat
hot ocean
echo moat
#

@hot ocean incidentally, how do you think: should we use a passive voice in ielts essays?

hot ocean
#

I wouldn't know for that particular examination. I would say it can be a good indicator of proficiency, but passive voice isn't used that often in normal essays.

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It's usually used sparingly and in certain contexts.

echo moat
hot ocean
rare finch
#

Hi everyone, I have to do an english essay for the next week and there is my firt part. If anyone would want correct my errors Im gonna be appreciated it.
Note: This is a comparative essay about a book called 'Kitchen'. I have been doing my essay about the different relationships in the book and whether they are toxic relationships or not.
DONT CORRECT THE CITATIONS

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Healthy relationships are the most likely event if both people in a relationship are involved completely. This type of relationship is respectful, pleasant communication and seeks no cause any unnecessary pain to each other. Otherwise, toxic relationships do not have communication and pursue harm to the other.

Kitchen book besides contain toxic relationships such as Okuno and Mikage’s relationship, sustained by an issue of jealousy. Yoshimoto seeks with this relationship using Okuno as a contrariety in Mikage’s relationship with Yuichi. Yoshimoto additionally employs Okuno as the person who produces Mikage and makes her consider respecting her relationship with Yuichi. This could be appreciated in dialogues such as these; Okuno says: ‘At Yuichi’s house, you mean?’ (71) or ‘Stay out of Yuichi’s life’ (71). Moreover, Okuno conveys ‘Do you think what you're doing is right?’ (71). Finally, Okuno expresses: ‘When I told him how all this bothered me, he just said, - So what about Mikage? Is she your girlfriend? - I asked - Let's not talk about it now- he said’ (72) or ‘I am asking you, please, don't see Yuichi anymore’. I'm begging you. Because if you're around, Yuichi is stuck’ (72). Furthermore, Mikage has been dialoguing about that, such as: ‘Fragile relationships I have with Yuichi now’ Mikage says (73). Therefore, it is possible to recognize the toxic relationship between Okuno and Mikage, and her jealousy from Okuno to Mikage. Moreover, we can take into account when Mikage was thinking about her relationship with Yuichi after Okuno confronted her throughout her work. For these inducements, Yoshimoto has achieved accurately his intention regarding Okuno’s representation in the course of this book.

marsh wing
#

I'm getting a migraine tbh

marsh wing
#

A healthy relationship is achieved when both people are completely involved. This type of relationship is respectful, communication present, and causes no unecessary pain to the other person. Otherwise, it is known as a toxic relationship.

The book "Kitchen" contains toxic relationships such Okuno and Mikage's relationship, which is derived from jealously. Toshimoto seeks this relationship between them, using Okuno as a contrariety in Mikage's relationship with Yuichi.
Yoshimoto additionally employs Okuno as the person who produces Mikage and makes her consider respecting her relationship with Yuichi.
This can be seen in dialogues such as these; Okuno says: ‘At Yuichi’s house, you mean?’ (71) or ‘Stay out of Yuichi’s life’ (71). Moreover, Okuno conveys ‘Do you think what you're doing is right?’ (71). Finally, Okuno expresses: ‘When I told him how all this bothered me, he just said, - So what about Mikage? Is she your girlfriend? - I asked - Let's not talk about it now- he said’ (72) or ‘I am asking you, please, don't see Yuichi anymore’. I'm begging you. Because if you're around, Yuichi is stuck’ (72). Furthermore, Mikage has been talking about that, such as: ‘Fragile relationships I have with Yuichi now’ Mikage says (73). These quotes make it easy to recognize the toxic relationship between Okuno and Mikage, and her jealousy towards Okuno and Mikage. Moreover, we can take into account when Mikage was still thinking about her relationship with Yuichi after Okuno confronted her at her workplace.
For these inducements, Yoshimoto has achieved accurately his intention regarding Okuno’s representation in the course of this book.

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I did my best

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Text like has not been corrected as I'm not sure what you mean.

#

Text like this means that I'm not sure who/what you're talking about and you should correct the names/things.

echo moat
#

btw, i googled and found out that "cope with" means "To deal effectively with something difficult", whilst "resolve" means "To find a solution to (a problem)". is it right?

hot ocean
# echo moat btw, i googled and found out that "cope with" means "To deal effectively with so...

Yes, they are not exactly the same. Reading the definitions doesn't exactly indicate that they're too much different, though. "Something difficult" could be a problem, and "dealing with" can easily imply "finding a solution." I wouldn't get too hung up on the definitions. And handling could be used in place of any of those three, but you should probably describe what is being handled.

echo moat
hot ocean
viral cipher
#

Guys, I have written an essay about Neuromarketing. If anyone is interested in reading my essay and sending me his feedback regarding the whole content and its Grammar mistakes, please message me.
Thanks

#

You'll do me a big favour.

steel pagoda
#

At present time, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages

In this contemporary era. Although, youth adults population is quite massive in a number of nation. In Contrary to this elder people populations is less compared to adult. I believe that advantages of numerous youth in country overlap, it's disadvantages.

It is underlying fact that children and youth are the future of country development. Furthermore, it's directly mean If populations of youngster, is greater than Be. Then people are more energetic and have curiosity to learn new things to elaborate this you'd have potential to work efficient and productive. They assist society to receive new innovation which enhance the technology in addition. If more youth work in various sector which boost up the economy and benefits the country residents, for example, youth are more fit than elder due to the fact at 50 to 60 years age, individual have got various diseases which means they cannot fully focus on work.

On the same side, youngster implement their newly developed idea to help the country army, along with technology field to explain this. Youngster, people have creative mind, and they can help with new innovation in invention related to electronic gadget, which can be utilizing army to spy the every single movement of enemy. To example, if I am load of younger generation, adults have intelligent mind. They create new devices, such as drawn, and spy camera, which enhance the security of nation.

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On the other hand, the younger people have less experience. That is why most of the individual preferred to trust elder people in various areas of sectors, to exempt playing this younger individual are beginner. They merely started their professions, consequently that is why they lack in experience. Additionally, if you more younger generation is present in country, that it affects the job sector of nation which indirectly means it. Apply pressure on government. For example, a plethora of people recommend visiting more age doctor. That the mean the main purpose of that is to trust on the experience of doctor.

To conclude it. Demonstrate more merits, then demerits of more youth in nation, then elder people owing to the fact that they are more energetic and have more areas to assist technology and other sector of nation. While young girl people lacking in experience due to, they merely started as profession

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Please check my essay and please tell me about my mistakes PepeHehe PepeHehe

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@hot ocean please 🙏 checkout my essay and help me to find out error

rare finch
steel pagoda
#

Please check my essay 🙏

quaint hollow
#

hey guys, here's the draft for my speech competition. can anyone help me have a check and give me some advice on the improvement?

#

here's the draft:

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Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm glad to present my speech here to share my view on the glimmer of light with you.
The glimmer of light can be used to describe a very faint light. However, can we see it as nothing? I guess not.
President Mao once said,“A single spark can start a prairie fire.”From my point of view,a single spark makes no difference to a glimmer of light,but it resulted in a prairie fire in the end.What's the difference between the two ones?I think it's the power of unity.It's true that a single glimmer of light may account for nothing,but when there are hundreds and thousands of glimmers,and they unite together, they will burst out amazing power.
Also,the glimmer of light can be viewed as a lifestyle.If the Sun and the Moon is to the great celebrity,then the glimmer of light is to the ordinary you and me. It's impossible that everyone can become the Sun or the Moon,so perhaps just enjoying the life of the glimmer of light isn't a bad idea.
Anyhow,a single glimmer of light can also bring us some light.So why not try to shine your glimmer of light,just for yourself?
Thanks for your listening!

#

thanks a lot if anyone can help meblossom

ember remnant
storm tapir
#

Avalo needed his value, recurred to his own heart, and in the fight of life and the passion, Avalo resurrected the emotion. He found himself when he was seeking the sentiment, he knew the beat of a song, and he was fighting without having other reason, powerful that beat of his own heart.

quaint hollow
ember remnant
heady nova
#

A single glimmer of light may account for nothing,but when thousands upon thousands of glimmer unite ,these glimmers can create something beautiful

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@quaint hollow maybe you can do slight adjustment at this part

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Anyhow a single glimmer of light. can bring us some light.....you should cancel this line

storm tapir
#

Jack's Game

Rules:

This game is from the series "Alice in Borderland S2" but remade for being able to play it on social medias.

More than 3 people are required to commence.

Every player will have a defined suit of the English deck (♡,♱,♀,♧) given by the dealer, that will be swapping throughout the rounds.

The dealer by private chat will send someone's suit (♡,♱,♀,♧) to someone else, but not their own suits directly to them.

(Example: X person doesn't know their own suit but does know the Y's one, and Y person does know the X's one but doesn't their own one, now will Y person and X person say the truth to each other?)

Among the players, there is one Jack disguised as player, and his goal is to eliminate all the players.

The players' goal is to find out Jack and eliminate him.

Each round will have a break of 10 minutes for chiefly debating who is the Jack and/or to say the suit of some player, when the break is up, the players will say their own suits (♡,♱,♀,♧), if a player says a wrong suit, he/she will be eliminated, if no responses are given, he/she will be eliminated too, and if a player says the right suit, he/she will keep on playing.

If a player and Jack are still up, the remained player will be eliminated since it'll be obvious who the Jack is.

safe rose
# storm tapir Jack's Game Rules: This game is from the series "Alice in Borderland S2" bu...

Jack's Game

Rules:

This game is from the series "Alice in Borderland S2" but remade for being able to play it on social medias. Media does not require a plural

More than 3 people are required to commence. I recommend using the word “participate.” Commence is an odd word to use here

Every player will have a defined suit of the English deck (♡,♱,♀,♧) given by the dealer, that will be swapping (swapped) throughout the rounds.

The dealer by private chat will send someone's suit (♡,♱,♀,♧) to someone else, but not their own suits directly to them.

(Example: X person doesn't know their own suit but does know the Y's one, and Y person does know the X's one but doesn't their own one, now will Y person and X person say the truth to each other?)

Among the players, there is one Jack disguised as a player, and his goal is to eliminate all the players.

The players' goal is to find out the Jack and eliminate him.

Each round will have a break of 10 minutes for chiefly debating (a debate of) who is the Jack and/or to say the suit of some a player, (full-stop instead of comma) when the break time is up, the players will say their own suits (♡,♱,♀,♧), (full-stop instead of comma) if a player says a wrong suit, he/she will be eliminated, if no responses are given, he/she will be eliminated too, and if a player says the right suit, he/she will keep on playing. Reccomended to use “they” instead of “he/she”.

If a player and Jack are still up, the remained player will be eliminated since it'll be obvious who the Jack is.

#

i’d also probably reword the last sentence but that’s up to you

storm tapir
safe rose
#

If a player and the Jack are still in the game, the remaining player will be eliminated I wouldn’t add the “obvious” part

storm tapir
safe rose
#

although the context you’re conveying is correct, it does not match with the flow of your words compared to the other parts you have written

#

as for “remained” it’s not necessarily wrong but it’s better to use “remaining” because the player is continuously in the game until it ends

quaint hollow
rapid prairie
#

Guys i need one to helping me in something

#

I wrote paragraph and i need one to check

viral cipher
civic bolt
#

Hello. Does anyone want to read something i wrote and correct me?
I'm trying to practice my writing.

viral cipher
heady nova
#

Sure no problem

paper pawn
#

Does anyone think Grammarly is good to correct my school essays? Like, for everyday stuff not just writing.

viral cipher
snow beacon
#

Hey, the water has dried up from all the soil inside the tub. It will cause a lot of damage to the plant. Now I will bring water from the river and water the rose plant. Please wait here.

zenith latch
#

Our English teacher asked us to write the most boring 5 paragraph essay possible. So, can't believe I'm saying this but... can someone please rate on a scale from 1-10 on how boring it is?

The Physics of the Pencil

A pencil is a writing instrument that is commonly used for drawing, writing, and other forms of communication. It is composed of several different components, including graphite and clay. Graphite is the black lead that makes marks on the paper, while the clay helps to hold the graphite in place.

The physics of a pencil involves the way that the graphite interacts with the paper. When the pencil is moved across the paper, the graphite is transferred from the pencil to the paper. This transfer is due to the pressure applied by the pencil to the paper and the softness of the graphite.

The transfer of graphite from the pencil to the paper also depends on the type of paper being used. Different types of paper have different textures and surfaces, which can affect the amount of graphite that is transferred. For example, the smoother paper will result in a cleaner, sharper line, while rough paper will result in a more smudged and blurred line.

The size and shape of the pencil also play a role in the physics of writing with a pencil. A thicker pencil will produce a wider line than a thin pencil, while a round pencil will produce a softer line than a hexagonal pencil. The length of the pencil can also affect the way that it writes, with longer pencils being easier to control and write with than shorter pencils.

In conclusion, the physics of a pencil is a complex subject that involves the interaction of several different factors. From the pressure applied by the pencil to the type of paper being used, there are many variables that can affect the way that a pencil writes. Despite this complexity, the pencil remains a simple and effective writing instrument that is widely used for a variety of purposes.

paper pawn
#

Yep best bland article on pencils every. great job 👍

heady nova
#

I will rate it a 8 only because in a glance you can actually pick up something useful I guess .but yes I would rather do anything else than read this article boring

marsh wing
#

it's their prompt

heady nova
spiral plinth
#

But strictly speaking
 this article seems interesting to me
it has some new information that everyone may not know about it

storm tapir
#

It's time you tell me what's going on in your house, forehead up, to be a latin America is a race, there are many places that support their roots, proudly their culture and their hues.

Stop to praise what comes from outside, and start to support what there is in your land, drift yourself with rhythms and colors, in your spirit the tastes are reborn.

Giving out to shine all the virtues, the landscapes, the people, with their attitudes, stories of sweat and tears, the legends, reality is going to count.

Warrior blood, in our veins, free from spirit and by the way you are a hyena, there is no chains that stop us, my soul flies along with what comes by the compass.

heady nova
#

It's time you tell me what's going on in your house, chin up, to be a latin America is a race. there are many places that support their roots, with pride in Thier culture and their hues.

Stop praising what comes from outside, and begin supporting the land which you came from, immerse yourself with rhythms and colors, your spirit will be reborn

The eternal shine to all the virtues, the landscapes, the people, their attitudes, stories of sweat and tears, the legends.in reality this is what that counts/(matters)

Warrior blood, in our veins, a free spirit. you are a wolf and no chains can stop us. my soul flies along with what comes by the compass.

#

I guessed you are trying to make a poem style composition so I just corrected a few things to make it flow better.

If you are aiming it to be more grammatically correct then there are more changes to be made .

#

@storm tapir

storm tapir
#

some sentences have nothing to do with what I wrote before

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or what I wished to mean

heady nova
safe rose
storm tapir
# heady nova Changed it all ? I just changed a few words based on your writing.anyways if it ...

"Stop praising what comes from outside, and begin supporting the land which you came from" That's not what I meant, i didn't mean the place where you come from, I meant what there are in your land

"Your spirit will be reborn" there you changed it all, first you took out the word "tastes" when I meant it to be in, second, I meant "in your spirit" not only "your spirit".

"The eternal shine to all virtues" that's not what I meant again, I meant "(You are) Giving out to shine all the virtues" pointing on they are expressing all their virtues outside.

storm tapir
#

"their attitudes" didn't go alone, it was with "with their attitudes".

"In reality" what I meant it was just "reality" since that word already goes along with a article "the".

"a free spirit" that's not what I meant, I said "free FROM spirit", I didn't mean to use free as an adjective.

heady nova
storm tapir
#

I know you wished to proofread me but you changed it all and you changed all the sentences that were in by others

heady nova
#

It's cool I don't mind. if you found anything beneficial it's good if not that's fine as well. 🙂

safe rose
# storm tapir It's time you tell me what's going on in your house, forehead up, to be a latin ...

It's time you tell me what's going on in your house. Head up, to be latin American is a race. There are many places that support their roots, proudly in their culture and their hues.

Stop praising what comes from outside, and start to support what there is in your land**.** Drift yourself with rhythms and colors**.** Tastes are reborn in your spirit.

Expressing to shine all the virtues, the landscapes, the people, with their attitudes, stories of sweat and tears, the legends, and reality is going to count.

Warrior blood in our veins are free from spirit and by being a hyena, there is no chains that stop us**.** My soul flies along with what comes by the compass.

#

Ok if I still made mistakes there im sorry, I rushed it cuz I need to sleep

storm tapir
storm tapir
safe rose
storm tapir
#

it's just a phrase that works in a specific context

storm tapir
safe rose
storm tapir
#

It was with the comma from the beginning

safe rose
#

no i mean, seperate it from the hyena bit

vagrant galleon
#

Guys , how do I prepare a resume when I don't even have any working experience and only graduate form school recently

tidal sky
#

If yes then it doesn't matter if you're experienced or not

#

But don't forget to mention your achievements, your projects etc.

viral cipher
#

But, for an internship as Kraken mentioned, you don't need a good resume.

worldly marsh
#

Great Tips!

#

Thanks. I want to improve my English skills

vagrant galleon
#

I only job experience I have is my internship

tidal sky
viral cipher
worldly marsh
vagrant galleon
#

My working experience in my internship is working in pasta station and omelette station

#

How should I write it correctly?

#

Is this correct way to write this ?

marsh wing
# vagrant galleon Is this correct way to write this ?

I worked at Hilton PJ (as an intern/for my internship), and was tasked with taking care of the omelette station during the morning buffet and pasta station in the high tea buffet. I also learned how to mise en place for the buffets there.

vagrant galleon
#

Thanks

marsh wing
#

Job Title: Trainee/Intern

#

Trainees are usually paid

vagrant galleon
#

I think my English is like broken

marsh wing
#

Interns are not

#

Intern is like a trial period

vagrant galleon
#

Internship is not working experience?

marsh wing
#

It is but trainee internship makes no sense

#

An internship means that you are an intern

vagrant galleon
#

Alright

#

I change it

marsh wing
#

Either use trainee if you were paid

#

Or intern if you weren’t

#

Alright

vagrant galleon
#

Ohh

#

Thank you

#

Is it Abit empty ?

marsh wing
# vagrant galleon

As a freshly graduated student, I am currently seeking employment, ready to utilize my skills and passion towards a/my career.

#

ping me btw

#

if you want a faster answer next time

thick ravine
#

What make more sense "journey of existence" or "journey of existential" ?ALOO

heady nova
heady nova
#

I need advanced english preparation for municipal competition. Can anyone help me?

summer estuary
heady nova
#

@summer estuary mostly vocabular of advanced most used words

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I am good with grammar

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Indefinetly, extinct, redundant, excessive, surplus

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Are some which I heard for fist time

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Yesterday

marsh wing
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forever, extinct (well extinct is extinct), unecessary, more than needed, also more than needed

heady nova
safe rose
steel pagoda
#

Questions->Universities should accept equal number of male and female student in every subject.
To what extent do you agree or disagree

#

Introduction->Although ,there is a noticeable difference in the number of male and female student at the universities yet, some individual believe that both gender pupils should be in equal proportion. In every class .while, there are many, who are against this idea due to the number of reasons to a certain extent, I disagree with the notion and I will explain in the fourth coming paragraph.

steel pagoda
#

Paragraph 1->It is undeniable fact that every country in the world try to promote equality between genders. Furthermore, if college started accepting the enrollment of learners by their male and female ratio, then it might be possible that it vanished, some stereotype to explain this,even though females should be considered as more emotional sensitive .yet, this they prove their efficiency and productivity in all other areas of professions.

#

For example, in modern time, women also become and tough competitor of male in each and every sector of jobs. Such as doctor, army pilot, etc, therefore, narrow minded people. In society, change their thoughts, by the determination of women.

#

Paragraph 2->On the other hand, it cannot be neglected, that it is unfair for talented student to elaborate this,Those merit learner which are qualified, however, they get rejected due to university obey the male and female ratio rule, for instance, male candidate may be more generally interested in computer related field. While, women may be more drawn to field such as nursing, however, it is next to impossible to fit both gender into equal proportion. Thus,it directly means university limiting the the choice and opportunities of students

#

Conclusion->In conclusion, for reasons, mentioned about, I believe that it would change the thoughts of people which thoughts women are emotionally weak. Whereas, I would also
Think that it is unethical for merit People who work hard to fulfill the criteria to get admission

#

Please 🙏 help me,,, please check my essay and write down my mistakes also grammatical and structural

marsh wing
steel pagoda
#

Yes

#

Bro

#

Please check my errors

topaz goblet
#

is this correct?

In previous studies, this method has been showed to be effective to improve students’ speaking skills.

safe rose
topaz goblet
#

is this correct?

This study aimed to find out whether or not the use of this method can improve students’ self-confidence in speaking English.

paper marlin
#

sb can help me check this essay It is a common belief that a number of people who start their career path early and still continue to do this will gain more and more gratification in their own life. In my view, I completely agree with the statement for several reasons
First and foremost, it is true that people who having a stable job will reach various benefits. On individual’s level, they do not face a new company or workplace which means they will get on well with old fellows than new ones in other workplaces. Therefore, this can cater for a sense of comfort and satisfaction as they are also familiar with their company. For example, if people followed just only one work, they would promote early about it than those who alter their work religiously
On top of that, choosing a long-term service means people do not worry about income. Because the credibility of stable jobs can give their staff a salary per month without waiting for. Moreover, working in one place can increase the experience and numerous value of emotion in work. In addition, they will assimilate particular knowledge in their field and hone practical skills. Another reason is that there are many perks that follow when people work for a long time namely yearly bonuses and holidays for worker
To sum up, working in a long-term job will enhance more experience and stand a better chance of getting a promotion. For this reasons, it can improve a person’s life and feeling as well.

dense basin
#

Nice to meet you, my name is JoĂŁo Gabriel, I'm offering Online English classes.
I took English courses from the age of eight, initially at “Number One” school and later at Cultura Inglesa. In December 2022 I completed the FCE2 level in “Cultura Inglesa”. I have already read several books and now, at the age of eighteen, I feel that I am prepared to teach.
In my classes, it will not be necessary to pay for materials such as handouts, since my goal is to be a tutor (if the student takes an English course at an institution) or a private teacher, in which case, I will analyze the student's linking so each class is based on your preferences.
I plan dynamic classes, answering questions and teaching content with socio-cultural themes, using series, movies, books and music as a theme, with the aim of making the learning of one of the most used languages ​​in the world fluid.
If you feel interested, feel free to contact me, we can schedule our appointments and agree on prices. I promise to make teaching English fun.

heady nova
#

Hi! Can someone proofread a very short prospecting email I wrote? I just need a native speaker's opinion on how convincing it sounds, and I'm also not quite sure about the closing remark I made. I would prefer DMs because it's a bit private. Thanks in advance

untold wraith
#

Hello, may I ask someone to read through my short graduation thesis summary? I had to translate it from Czech to English, and would like to know if it's legible and grammatically correct

kind beacon
#

just post it here

untold wraith
# untold wraith Hello, may I ask someone to read through my short graduation thesis summary? I h...

Summary: This graduation thesis focuses on creating a four-day tour for children around the age of twelve to London, where the main theme is a literary character: Sherlock Holmes. The graduation thesis is divided into two parts. The theoretical part consists of a characterization of the city of London with its history and connections, Sherlock Holmes's character and his author's character, and an overview of London's foreign, Czech, and children’s clientele. The practical part is the creation of a four-day children’s sightseeing tour of London, which has been adjusted to meet the requirements for the Sherlock Holmes theme. There, basic information about transport, catering, and lodging is provided. Within this part, an itinerary, program, time schedule, and interpretation of the guide have been created. For an evaluation of the tour, a SWOT analysis has also been created.

hot ocean
# untold wraith Summary: This graduation thesis focuses on creating a four-day tour for children...

"...four-day tour for children..." Rewrite for clarity, correct preposition, and remove comma since relative clause is essential ->
"four-day tour of London for children around the age of twelve where the main theme..."

"...divided into two parts." I would use this opportunity to introduce the parts that you mention after -> "divided into two parts: a theoretical portion and a practical portion."

"overview of London's foreign, Czech, and children's clientele..." Children shouldn't be possessive here unless the children are the one with the clientele -> "...children..."

"...which has been adjusted to meet the requirements..." This relative clause sounds essential, so consider changing which -> that and removing the preceding comma.

untold wraith
storm tapir
#

He left his eyes, over his head ouh, there will be no pain, there will be no sadness. He let his dreams free, and freedom doesn't wait, it starts to soar. He left his eyes, over his head ouh.

Your ray is the stone that falls to remove the waters, flinched to down, to down, like a arrow without bottom, where to lie his head.

Sometimes when I wait for my star, I sense and think of it. I describe its shape and its star, its orbit and its ground. I define its dream and its turn, its vertigo waits and don't brake.

crisp isle
#

Whats this section about? DonÂŽt understand

#

IÂŽm new here

marsh wing
crisp isle
#

Oh I see. Got it. Thanks!

storm tapir
#

Solidary to his partners and his surrounding people. He is mostly someone who gets too panicked to higher stress situations, though he doesn't lose his whole grip and to think up well at times. He usually gets sad at trivial or very uncommon stuff, but in specific contexts he pretends not to be. Often it was shown that he hates to commit cruel and apathetic acts for goods, but that doesn't mean that it is unlikely that he commits one. He is skilled at maneuvering and handling butterfly knifes, but he usually prefers not to wield spiky or sharpy things due to strange anxiety manifestations. His wrath is hardly shown, but he does get mad aand annoyed at a broad amount of things. He suffers from amnesia and he doesn't remember anything about his past, the "source" of his conduct is preliminary due to what recently said. It's reckoned the option about maybe he passed through very traumatic and severe experiences/events, triggering a hard dissociative amnesia possibly along with the "Maria Antoinette Disorder".

prisma spade
#

Everything is immutable but change can be an inevitable law of nature. The world develops because of human development and that development is always associated with the development of language. The development trend of the world today is globalization - in other words, turning the world we live in into a "flat world" - where people can erase all boundaries and connect with each other becomes easier than ever. But in order to realize the "flattened world", need a decisive condition for the whole process, a boundary when it's removed, the other boundaries can disappear on their own immediately. That's the language boundary. The world will be completely " Flat " when all can find a common voice -a common language that can be understood and shared. That common language is English

#

@safe rose

safe rose
# prisma spade Everything is immutable but change can be an inevitable law of nature. The world...

Everything is immutable but change can be an inevitable law of nature. The world develops because of human development and that development is always associated with the development of language. The development trend of the world today is globalization - in other words, turning the world we live in into a "flat world" - where people can erase all boundaries and connect with each other becomes easier than ever. But in order to realize the "flattened world", it needs a decisive condition for the whole process, (remove comma and replace with full stop) For example, when a boundary when it's removed, the other boundaries can disappear on their own immediately.(remove full stop) That's Also known as the language boundary. The world will be completely " Flat " when all until society can find a common voice -a common language that can be understood and shared. remove full stop, replace with comma That common language is English and that language being English.

The last sentence I reworded isn’t good. I do suggest you reword “That common language is English” and link it to your previous sentence. Try to reword it better than me because I do not have the brain cells to do so.

#

General feedback:

  1. Try to not use truncated sentences in your response, as they do not flow well with what you’re writing. For e.g. “That common language is English” or any other short sentence(s).

  2. Still too much repetition of development. You can use synonyms to substitute your word(s).

  3. Speech marks “” are placed after the comma

  4. You need to emphasise on your explanation for flat world. Are you using this metaphorically? What do you mean by this?

  5. Hyphens are not separated by spaces. E.g. “can find a common voice**-**a common language
”

  6. You also need to be careful with your punctuation. That will also help with the flow of your sentences

prisma spade
# safe rose Everything is immutable but change can be an inevitable law of nature. The world...

Everything is immutable but change can be an inevitable law of nature. The world develops because of human development and that development is always associated with the development of language. The development trend of the world today is globalization - in other words, turning the world we live in into a "flat world" - where people can erase all boundaries and connect with each other becomes easier than ever. But in order to realize the "flattened world", it needs a decisive condition for the whole process; For example, when a boundary when it's removed, the other boundaries can disappear on their own immediately. Also known as the language boundary. The world will be completely “Flat” until society can find a common voice -a common language that can be understood and shared and that language being English.

-> completion is like that, right...?

prisma spade
weak steeple
#

Hey can someone check my analytical essay??

#

Heyy please

#

Analytical essay

#

Breakthrough" is a 2019 film that explores themes of faith, miracles, and the power of community. The movie is based on the true story of a 14-year-old boy named John Smith, who falls through the ice and is declared dead for over an hour before coming back to life. The film follows John's mother, Joyce, and her unwavering faith and determination to believe in John's recovery.

The movie begins by introducing us to John, a typical teenager who lives with his mother and stepfather in a small town in Missouri. John is passionate about basketball and is close to his friends and family, including his pastor Jason and his teacher Ms. Abbott. One day, John and his friends go to the lake to play on the ice, but John falls through and is submerged in the freezing water for over 15 minutes.

The rescue team brings John's lifeless body to the hospital, where the doctors declared him dead. However, Joyce refuses to accept the diagnosis and prays for a miracle. She rallies the community to pray for John's recovery and has faith that God will bring him back to life.

The film does an excellent job of highlighting the community's response to John's tragedy. The local church and its members, led by Pastor Jason, offer their support and prayers, while Joyce's co-worker, Cindy, starts a prayer chain that quickly spreads throughout the town and beyond. The film emphasizes how these small acts of kindness and faith can bring people together and offer hope in times of crisis.

The heart of the film is the relationship between Joyce and John. Joyce's unwavering faith and determination to believe in John's recovery are a testament to the power of a mother's love. Chrissy Metz delivers a powerful performance as Joyce, bringing emotional depth to her character and conveying her pain and hope with authenticity. Marcel Ruiz also delivers a solid performance as John, portraying his fear and vulnerability as he fights for his life.

#

The film's primary message is one of faith and belief in miracles. "Breakthrough" portrays the power of prayer and the role of faith in healing. The film shows that the impossible is possible and that God can work in mysterious ways. The film's ending, which shows John's full recovery, is a powerful testimony to the message of hope and the power of faith.

However, the film does have its flaws. Some critics have argued that the movie's religious message may not be accessible to message audiences. Additionally, the film's portrayal of medical professionals has been criticized for its lack of accuracy and realism.

Overall, "Breakthrough" is a well-made and emotionally compelling film that tells a remarkable true story. The film's message of hope, faith, and community support is timely and relevant in today's world. The film's excellent performances, powerful message, and uplifting ending make it a must-watch for anyone looking for a heartwarming and inspiring story.

marble frigate
#

i think its good but if this will be graded then you should ask someone else

atomic isle
# weak steeple Breakthrough" is a 2019 film that explores themes of faith, miracles, and the po...

I think the essay is great. I only noticed one grammatical error and that is that you forgot the initial quotation mark in front of "Breakthrough." As far as being an analytical essay, I also think it's great. You provide a coherent analysis of the film, you have a thesis statement backed up with examples, and you have an effective conclusion. The only minor criticism I'd make would be to maybe talk about the film's flaws, since you should always give an unbiased analysis of something when writing an analytical essay, even if it involves critiquing the subject.

proper yacht
#

Can someone please proofread my essays ?

heady nova
#

Script for President for role play please help me to fix my script
"I got report from Nova City because of drug lord or pusher many people died because of drugs lord and pusher but now on its time to clean up to all drugs lord in nova city Just always remember You have two choice If you want stay alive just stop using a drugs but or else you will died Today I'm going to send our FBI or police to raid and clean in nova"

heady nova
blissful garden
heady nova
sly skiff
#

Hi

fast kestrel
cold quiver
#

Doesn't sound right grammatically, is that the whole phrase? It sounds like it might be a phrase used to demonstrate alliteration.
Alliteration - the occurrence of the same letter or sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words. Ex: Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers

heady nova
#

Can someone please proofread this mission statement. It must be clear, formal, and leave a lasting impression on the reader! Please @ me

#

We’re dedicated to advancing the frontiers of knowledge and academic achievement by fostering innovation in motivated students. We believe that every individual has the right to access high-quality educational resources. Through a collaborative and innovative approach, we seek to transform the educational landscape and empower students to achieve their full potential.

crisp venture
#

These choices that we have chosen for the budget for the city of Gotham 2023, will be strictly related to resuscitating the economy and help stabilizing the economy. Furthermore, the choices will also have a great impact on the social life of the people of Gotham City, which will thus increase the living standards.

To accomplish our goals, we chose to increase the taxes among the wealthy. To be more precise, we wish to increase the taxes by one and a half precent to ensure it is reasonable for both parties. Additionally, that it has a positive effect on our budget which shall enhance the living standards of the people who inhabit in Gotham City. This involves putting the taxpayer money into reducing the prices of tickets for bus and tube to ensure transport is more accessible and increase the amount of people getting a job. In conjunction with reducing the prices of tickets for bus and tube, we will reduce the prices of food in grocery stores and significantly reduce the prices of healthy food to help people eat healthier. Moreover, a reduction in price will increase the amount of people getting a job and more people will consume healthier food. Hence the increasement in live expectancy.

To ease the financial struggles that the people of Gotham are enduring, we are to implement a raise of two dollars and fifty cents for minimum wage. Additionally, we will improve job security to ensure sustainability among all occupations and establish anti-discrimination laws to ensure the people who may suffer an illness like Arthur, shall receive their basic human rights of receiving a job which is sustainable. Ultimately, this will result in an increasement in employment and reduced absenteeism, increased productivity and employee and client satisfaction.

#

Furthermore, we wish to create more job opportunities that will be directed towards sanitating and cleaning the streets of Gotham as it will help reducing mental health issues. This is because, living near a green space will make more people exercise. Additionally, it will increase with people conducting sedentary social activities, such as picnicking and thus socializing which may decrease loneliness, anxiety and depression which will ultimately improve the mental health of the people. Moreover, we want to construct more public parks and recreational areas and additionally make more accessible cultural events which will assist the youth to socialize more, instead of committing petty crimes out of boredom. Furthermore, gathering people together will create social solidarity and cohesion. Additionally, we plan to increase the active patrol-officers to decrease and prevent potential crimes that may occur in Gotham City and thus make the city safer as it is currently suffering from high-crime rates.

Moreover, this will make the all-around living standards in Gotham City greater than ever. The city will be more sustainable, environmentally friendly and the social life will be greater as well. Ultimately, this will increase living standards and make the people of Gotham happier and decrease mental health issues. A time for greatness is to arrive with our changes.

#

This is a 500-word reflection of my choices that my made-up political party chose as the budget options. May someone review it and give me critical feedback on anything that needs or may be improved.

dusky rain
#

Overall, your piece has a clear intention of improving the economy and living standards of the citizens of Gotham City. However, there are a few areas where you could improve.

Firstly, you could provide more details on how increasing taxes on the wealthy will impact the economy positively. Additionally, you could provide some data to support your claims. For example, you could mention how this approach has worked in other cities or countries.

Secondly, while reducing the prices of tickets for bus and tube and groceries will help make them more accessible, you could provide more details on how this will impact the economy and living standards of the people in Gotham City. For instance, you could mention how this will increase job opportunities or how it will contribute to a healthier lifestyle for the people of Gotham City.

Finally, you could provide more information on how raising the minimum wage by two dollars and fifty cents will impact the economy positively. You could mention how this raise will impact the employment rate, productivity, and employee satisfaction.

#

Great job expanding on your previous ideas and introducing new ones that aim to improve the living standards and mental health of the citizens of Gotham City.

Your approach to creating more job opportunities for sanitizing and cleaning the streets of Gotham is innovative and seeks to address not only the cleanliness of the city but also the mental well-being of its citizens. Providing more green spaces, parks, and recreational areas will offer a space for people to socialize, exercise, and engage in cultural events, which will reduce boredom and prevent petty crimes.

Additionally, increasing active patrol-officers will create a sense of security and safety, which will contribute to the overall well-being of the residents of Gotham City.

Your concluding statement is strong and emphasizes the positive impact that your proposed changes will have on the people of Gotham City. However, you could provide more details on how these changes will be implemented, such as the timeline and budget for each initiative.

Overall, your piece has a clear intention, and your proposed changes aim to address the economic, social, and mental well-being of the residents of Gotham City. Adding more details and data to support your claims will help strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.

crisp venture
#

Unfortunately, the due time has already surpassed. However, I do appreciate your feedback and will utilize it on future assignments.

random coyote
#

"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell" - Oscar Wilde, The Duchess of Padua. I believe blh blah blah....
is this a correct usage of a quote from a book?

cold quiver
random coyote
cold quiver
# random coyote alright how about "We are each our own devil and we make this world our hell" wa...

well that's fine on its own but what I mean is the use of citations and annotations if you're writing a paper, that's how you would properly use a quote from someone. Typically teachers, professors, whoever, would require you to cite where and whom you got it from
If that's not a requirement you're good lol, I like your second variant more, I think it flows nicer; But I would change "it describes" to "he's describing"(The He being Oscar), that's just how I'd write it if I were back in my highschool english class lol.

wheat yarrow
#

Hi! I have a text that I translated and I'd be glad if a native speaker (or anyone really) could proofread it. However it's 3 pages in PDF and I don't have Discord Nitro to send the whole thing as a message. Can I send the PDF here, and if not how can I send it?

heady nova
wheat yarrow
heady nova
#

@heady nova hi can you help me to proofreading

heady nova
# wheat yarrow https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_eNogdJkDsWfRKKXl2Qh4jpCETOFK3QH9WXeb-kkYRQ/...

I'd say overall the grammar is good. One thing I'd like to point out though is that you've committed comma splice a few times. It's basically when you use only a comma to separate two independent clauses, which is wrong, because you're supposed to use either a semicolon, a coordinating conjunction, or a full stop

For example

I noticed its absence way back at Dragoman station, I started feverishly crawling on the floor and looking under the seats which belittled the customs officers’ diligence and enraged them.

After the word "station", I think it's best to use a period here instead of a comma. (It's probably not that important, but if you really wanna be pedantic, pay attention to how you separate your clauses)

#

Also

For a long time I dared not to say anything at home about what had happened. Until they asked me why I hadn’t been wearing it.

Before the word "until", replace the period with a comma, because it is incorrect to separate a dependent clause with a full stop

#

Last

And I wish it wasn’t weren't mine.

#

In statements expressing a wish or regret you use "were" even if the subject is singular

wheat yarrow
#

thank you for the feedback

wheat yarrow
heady nova
#

@heady nova are u here

heady nova
wheat yarrow
#

even when it comes to Italian, the other language that I study, when I ask someone to proofread my text they always have something to say about the punctuation

heady nova
#

@heady nova u can send it here or dm

wheat yarrow
#

because in Bulgarian we use commas so much and I have an issue avoiding that in English and Italian xd

heady nova
#

Imma send u in dm hehe

heady nova
#

Also cool u learn italian

wheat yarrow
#

got it, thank you, will make sure apply what you said when I get out of this lecture 😛

viral cipher
#

Sure thing. 👍

heady nova
#

Hello I'm looking for correct my proofreading for the server stuff

noble quail
#

Nice

atomic isle
wintry scaffold
#

Health is at the base of any human being, and as such the health of a government's citizens should be its upmost priority on improving it.

Personally, I find introducing educational campaigns and encouraging people to exercise should be invested more by the government, the former being extremely important for the government to do.

First of all, the benefits of introducing educational campaigns will help teach people how their bodies process the different natural phenomenas happening. Nutrition is especially important, however health organizations often use very loose terminology such as "balanced diet" without further detailing what it means, which can derail viewers' investment in learning nutrition. Indeed, a "balanced diet" means different things for different people, but organizations should seek to educate the people on what steps they should take in order to craft a diet plan.

Second of all, encouraging people to exercise is crucial for creating a fitness culture in the region led by a government, thus increasing the chances of people to start exercising. Social media is a good way to inspire people to exercise by showing how fitness changed other peoples' lives, however this process should be done only by showing true and natural progressions, because otherwise, by seeing impressive results of individuals aided by enhancement substances, one could feel as if they're not doing enough and lose motivation in physical activity.

In conclusion, governments should start investing in educating their citizens by advertising physical activity and investing in organizations that can help citizens by providing nutrition lessons.

#

Essay about how governments can help their citizens, 250-ish words in physical health

The 2 bullet points were : introducing educational campaigns and encouraging people to exercise

I'm supposed to be level C1 so if anyone can proof read this and give feedback it'd be greatly appreciated

hot ocean
# wintry scaffold Health is at the base of any human being, and as such the health of a government...

"and as such the health of a government's citizens should be its upmost priority on improving it." -> "and as such, improving the health of citizens should be a government's utmost priority."
upmost -> utmost (utmost means greatest, upmost is often an error)
Rewritten for clarity ("on improving it" is a bit ambiguous)
"as such" -> "as such," Separate the introductory phrase from the rest of the sentence with a comma.

"I find introducing educational campaigns and encouraging people to exercise should be invested more by the government" -> "I think introducing educational campaigns and encouraging people to exercise should be invested in more by the government"
"I find" -> "I think" "Find" isn't appropriate here, as it's often used to state something which you personally know about something based on prior experience. You're only stating what you believe here, and not what you've found to be true.
"invested more" -> "invested in more" The preposition here helps add clarity to where the investment is going, and that is in the campaigns and so on. A minor nitpick, perhaps, but quite noticeable to a native.

"the benefits of introducing educational campaigns will help teach people" -> "the benefit of introducing educational campaigns is that they will help teach people"
"the benefits" -> "the benefit" You only list one benefit in the following clause, so it should be singular.
"will help teach" -> "is that they will help teach" The way this is originally worded implies that "the benefits" is acting on our verb.

#

(cont)
"Nutrition is especially important, however health organizations often use very loose terminology" -> "Nutrition is especially important; however, health organizations often use very loose terminology"
"important, however" -> "important; however," "However" is a conjunctive adverb and you should be separating it with either a full stop or a semicolon.

"the chances of people to start exercising." -> "the chances that people will start to exercise." This change is mostly for clarity. "will" is used to create a future tense and express likelihood.

"other peoples' lives, however this process" -> "other peoples' lives. However, this process" Same issue as before. Use a semicolon or full stop when using a conjunctive adverb. I replaced it with a full stop here since your sentence is already quite long.

wintry scaffold
#

Thank you so much !!!!blossom

heady nova
#

Only by having checked your identity will you be allowed in.

#

Does it sound natural?

hybrid rapids
#

wats a prof read

safe rose
#

its not a common phrase

heady nova
#

i was practicing with formal expressions

#

inversion

wintry scaffold
heady nova
#

But are u here?

hot ocean
#

It's best to just post what you need proofread instead of asking someone particular and waiting for a response. It's generally a bit impolite to expect someone else's time when the time of those more present will suffice. The easiest way to find someone willing is to just post and wait. Proofreading can sometimes take significant attention, after all.

empty frigate
#

why are using this channel to say this kekk

#

sad channel

wintry scaffold
#

Dead wrong

#

Watch me drop 3 broken essays

heady nova
#

Attention, students! Are you tired of getting distracted from your schoolwork? Do you find yourself daydreaming about other things while trying to read an assigned text? It's time to take control of your education and stay focused on what's important.

We all know how tempting it can be to switch our attention to something more exciting. Maybe there's a new Kdrama you've been dying to watch, or you're looking forward to a weekend hangout with your best friend. But when we let these distractions take over, we're only hurting ourselves.

By ignoring our assigned readings and homework, we're not only missing out on valuable knowledge, but we're also hurting our grades and our future success. So let's make a commitment together to stay on track and focus on our studies.

It's not always easy, but we can do it. Try setting aside a designated study time each day, and eliminate any distractions during that time. Use study tools like flashcards or notes to keep yourself engaged with the material. And remember, the reward of doing well in school will far outweigh any temporary pleasure from a Kdrama or hangout.

So let's stay motivated, stay on track, and achieve the success we all know we're capable of. Start by taking your schoolwork seriously and staying focused, and watch your grades and future opportunities soar.

#

Who can correct my roofreading here for my homework

hot ocean
#

I don't tend to do excessive clarity checks or suggest "better" ways to write a sentence here since most people don't need that yet (and doing so takes much more time), but you're free to ask.

buoyant iron
#

ping me when ans

hybrid rapids
#

can somon prof red me

obsidian beacon
#

Hello

#

I can

obsidian beacon
#

But other than that, great job

#

Example(it's one mistake just repeated 4 times): Maybe there's a new K-drama you've been dying to watch, or you're looking forward to a weekend hangout with your best [friend. But ]when we let these distr...

#

You should not start sentences with But, And, So, Or, Etc.

#

Those are too combine sentences

#

Example: I had a dog, and she had a cat

#

I know you know that

#

However
I had a dog. But she had a cat

#

Is incorrect

obsidian beacon
#

Ok
Final thought

Restructure/Remake your sentences to not start with conjunctions, you shouldn't combine them though because that would also make it hard to read

#

Then you won't have that "error"

fringe leaf
#

Does this make sense?

IMG_7240.png
#

Some sections sound rather repititive

#

Repetitive

#

I havent gotten a name for the narrative as of yet

#

This is half of its reflection statement

heady nova
#

We have some additional question about our server or contact our Staff member if you dont find your question about this

solemn veldt
# heady nova ```We have some additional question about our server or contact our Staff member...

If you're referring to staff support guidelines for members this might be most suitable

" If you have any additional questions about our server, please contact our Staff members thank you "

1 First off, some/additional both describe plural numbers so you need just one of them

2 "please and thank you" would be needed terms from service providers perspective

3 the latter part is not needed since they've already searched for solutions, if they're asking staff members it means they have already tried to solve the problem themselves

heady nova
#

thanks hehe

heady nova
#

like this For additional questions or to contact Roonie please open support-tickets and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

#

but this is not real

heady nova
solemn veldt
heady nova
heady nova
#

for the server stuff

solemn veldt
heady nova
#

Hello I'm looking for who can correct proofreading

obsidian beacon
#

Guess who

obsidian beacon
fringe leaf
#

if anyone is willing to proofread for any mistakes

heady nova
#

are u here?

heady nova
#

can you help me

#

for a server stuff?

#

no its not about that its too late

obsidian beacon
#

Yo

obsidian beacon
lost viper
#

Hey guys, I just need some help finalising my essay. Just need someone to proof read and the conclusion For context, im a year 11 student in Melbourne, and we're currently writing a personal response essay on To Kill A Mocking Bird the film. Could someone just proofread it . I am also really stuck with how im supposed to do the conclusion

#

Family plays a key role in shaping the lives, experiences and values of an individual. The 1960 film To Kill A Mocking Bird by Robert Mulligan depicts the importance of family and their influence on our morals and characteristics. Through the character of Atticus, Bob, Jem and Scout, Mulligan explores the impact of family dynamics on an individual’s sense of identity and morality. In my own life, family has played a key role in shaping me into the way I am today.

Addicus Flinch plays a key role in the character development of Jem and Scout, serving as a moral compass for his children. His compassionate nature and guardianship allow the children to navigate life’s challenges and develop good ethics and virtues. This is demonstrated when he states, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” Furthermore, Addicus’s behaviour towards Calpurnia challenges the town's racial hierarchy. Despite being a black woman, he exclaims that “Calpurnia’s not company, Calpurnia’s family” and that “she’s a faithful member of this family” which educates Jem and Scout on treating all individuals with dignity and respect regardless of their ethnicity. Atticus’s fatherly guidance and moral fortitude are instrumental in shaping Scout and Jem’s character and worldview which illustrates families' key role in an individual’s life. In a similar way to Addicus, I find that my own father embodies characteristics of respect and equality. He has taught me to always respect others regardless of our differences and to strive for what is right. His strong presence and teachings have allowed me to mature into a hardworking man who values good morals and integrity. In conclusion, Addicus serves as an example of how family plays a key role in shaping an individual's character development through his parenting of Jem and Scout.

#

Mayella’s experience of abuse and neglect highlights the devastating impact of a dysfunctional family and the key role family plays in shaping one's struggles. Her mistreatment is evident in her appearance and lack of education. Often described as “puny and sickly”, Mayella lived under poor conditions having “never [gone] to school a day in [her] life.” Bob Ewell's lack of guardianship and neglect deprived Mayella of the support she needed to live a healthy and fulfilling life. Moreover, Mr Ewell’s sexual advances towards Mayella harmed her psychological well-being. When being questioned on the topic, she stated that “what pa do to her don’t count.” Her response demonstrates how Mr Ewell’s abuse has affected her perception of what is acceptable behaviour, leaving her vulnerable to further mistreatment. I have encountered people like Mayella in my own life, who lived difficult lives as a result of abuse and neglect. They were often seen with cuts and bruises, weren’t eating very well and displayed challenging behaviour. Luckily in our day and age, kids who are abused and neglected have a voice. They have access to resources such as hotlines, shelters, and counselling services, which was not an option for Mayella. This goes to show how society has made advancements in protecting children’s rights. Ultimately, Mayella’s story signifies the key role family plays in shaping one's struggles and the devastating impact of a broken home.

#

Through Jem and Scout's sibling bond, Mulligan illustrates the key role family plays in providing emotional support and protection, highlighting the essential nature of familial connections. Jem holds unwavering love and protective nature which is evident in the scene where they are attacked by Bob Ewell. The close-up shot focalises Jem’s concern for Scout while tackling Mr Ewell, shouting out “Run Scout! Run Scout! Run run!” Jem's instinct to protect his younger sister, even at great risk to himself, exemplifies the deep bond they share and how family can be a source of protection in times of danger. In my own life, my brother and I have a deep connection. Being my older brother, he’s always supported me in all that I do, helping me with homework, dropping me off at school, aiding me to find a job, but also holding me accountable when I do the wrong thing. I have always found comfort and a sense of warmth with my brother, the same way Scout finds support and protection in her relationship with Jem. Through their playful interactions, shared experiences and mutual support, Jem and Scout demonstrate the key role family plays in proving a sense of support, security, and guidance.

lost viper
#

@marsh wing @safe rose

marsh wing
lost viper
#

plus that doesn't really help, all english pieces can be improved

hard mica
#

After reorganizing the tetrahedral into an image where the atoms are analyzed from a different perspective, the image above is formed. The central atom is in the middle of the cube and then the lines connecting to the edges are the bonds. The bonds are all equidistant from one another which is why the image is formed in the middle of the cube and all bonds are equidistant from one another.
can someone please edit and revise this for me

#

pls ping when you can help

safe rose
lost viper
#

oh u haven't, that sucks, it's okay, no worries

safe rose
#

we’re doing king richard iii shakespeare

lost viper
lost viper
safe rose
#

yes, yr 12

lost viper
#

ahhh, which state?

safe rose
#

NSW

lost viper
#

ahh so ur doing HSC

safe rose
#

Yup, gonna dieee

lost viper
#

lmao, what subjects did u choose?

safe rose
#

standard maths, adv english, music 2, ancient history and beginners JP(also i’ll read it in a sec)

lost viper
safe rose
#

Well, I’m very sucky at English. I did extension but dropped it after almost a year

lost viper
#

quiet the opposite for me lmao, more of a math person, doing specialist maths and methods, now im not sure how that translate's in terms of HSC maths subject, but just for reference, spesh and methods are the two hardest maths subjects for vce

#

but my english is ASS

lost viper
safe rose
safe rose
lost viper
lost viper
#

was it just analysing texts

#

and then writing essay's?

safe rose
#

Family plays a key role in shaping the lives, experiences and values of an individual. The 1960 film To Kill A Mocking Bird by Robert Mulligan depicts the importance of family and their influence on our morals and characteristics. Through the character of Atticus, Bob, Jem and Scout, Mulligan explores the impact of family dynamics on an individual’s sense of identity and morality. In my own life, family has played a key role in shaping me into the way I am today. Include a thesis statement

Addicus Flinch plays a key role in the character development of Jem and Scout, serving as a moral compass for his children. His compassionate nature and guardianship allow the children to navigate life’s challenges and develop good ethics and virtues. This is demonstrated when he states, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” Shorten this quote a bit it’s a bit too long Furthermore, Addicus’s behaviour towards Calpurnia challenges the town's racial hierarchy. Despite being a black woman, he exclaims that “Calpurnia’s not company, Calpurnia’s family” and that “she’s a faithful member of this family” which educates Jem and Scout on treating all individuals with dignity and respect regardless of their ethnicity. Atticus’s fatherly guidance and moral fortitude are instrumental in shaping Scout and Jem’s character and worldview which illustrates families' key role in an individual’s life. In a similar way to Addicus, I find that my own father embodies characteristics of respect and equality. He has taught me to always respect others regardless of our differences and to strive for what is right. His strong presence and teachings have allowed me to mature into a hardworking man who values good morals and integrity not recommended to state about your own opinions of this experience. In most essays you would want to avoid 3rd person unless if it’s a reflective essay. . In conclusion, Addicus serves as an example of how family plays a key role in shaping an individual's character development through his parenting of Jem and Scout.

#

Mayella’s experience of abuse and neglect highlights the devastating impact of a dysfunctional family and the key role family plays in shaping one's would replace “one’s” with something else struggles. Her mistreatment is evident in her appearance and lack of education. join these sentences Often described as “puny and sickly”, Mayella lived under poor conditions having “never [gone] to school a day in [her] life.” Bob Ewell's lack of guardianship and neglect deprived Mayella of the support she needed to live a healthy and fulfilling life. Moreover, Mr Ewell’s sexual advances towards Mayella harmed her psychological well-being. When being questioned on the topic, she stated that “what pa do to her don’t count.” Her response demonstrates how Mr Ewell’s abuse has affected her perception of what is acceptable behaviour, leaving her vulnerable to further mistreatment. I have encountered people like Mayella in my own life, who lived difficult lives as a result of abuse and neglect. They were often seen with cuts and bruises, weren’t eating very well and displayed challenging behaviour. Luckily in our day and age, kids who are abused and neglected have a voice. They have access to resources such as hotlines, shelters, and counselling services, which was not an option for Mayella. This goes to show how society has made advancements in protecting children’s rights. Ultimately, Mayella’s story signifies the key role family plays in shaping one's struggles and the devastating impact of a broken home.

#

Through Jem and Scout's sibling bond, Mulligan illustrates the key role family plays in providing emotional support and protection, highlighting the essential nature of familial connections. Jem holds unwavering love and protective nature which is evident in the scene where they are attacked by Bob Ewell. The close-up shot focalises Jem’s concern for Scout while tackling Mr Ewell, shouting out “Run Scout! Run Scout! Run run!” Jem's instinct to protect his younger sister, even at great risk to himself, exemplifies the deep bond they share and how family can be a source of protection in times of danger. In my own life, my brother and I have a deep connection. Being my older brother, he’s always supported me in all that I do, helping me with homework, dropping me off at school, aiding me to find a job, but also holding me accountable when I do the wrong thing. I have always found comfort and a sense of warmth with my brother, the same way Scout finds support and protection in her relationship with Jem. Through their playful interactions, shared experiences and mutual support, Jem and Scout demonstrate the key role family plays in proving a sense of support, security, and guidance.

#

Your analysis and stuff is fine tbf you’re pretty good

#

Just some small blemishes, you need to be able to link your analysis back to your question/thesis

lost viper
#

they require us to add our personal life story

safe rose
#

Ah I see, I must’ve misread

#

So sorry

lost viper
#

and make connections to our personal life

#

that's the part that confuses me

#

because i've never written an essay like this

lost viper
safe rose
lost viper
#

so other than the personal stuff, what other things do you recommend I change?

safe rose
#

Well, I don’t think you necessarily need to make drastic changes

#

I think some of the quotes in there, like the first one

#

They’re a little too long

lost viper
#

hmm yeah it is pretty long

#

do you think i should cut a bit of it out?

safe rose
#

I’d say only include the part that’s important or just add an elipsis
as you’ve already shown

safe rose
#

Genuinely when you get to the HSC, you need about 7 quotes and 5 language techniques

#

Quotes have to be short

#

So I mean, good practice for now

lost viper
#

but i mean, im sure vce and hsc should be pretty similar

safe rose
#

Idk how VCE works LMAO

#

As for your conclusion don’t overthink it

lost viper
#

hmmm, how do you guys study films?

#

because u can't really do language techniques

#

i mean u could

safe rose
#

Film techniques then

lost viper
#

but the main focus would be film techniques

#

yeah

safe rose
#

Yeah

#

You can have film techniques instead

#

For your conclusion you just need to summarise what you’ve written but it doesn’t have to be long

#

Just about 2-3 lines is enough

#

Or at least 3

lost viper
#

i suppose so, i just get so stuck with the conclusion

safe rose
#

I get you bro

lost viper
#

mostly because it's a personal response

#

and i have no idea if i need to address the "person response" segment in my conclusion

safe rose
#

I haven’t written a personal response before so I wouldn’t be sure

lost viper
#

i mean my teacher says the essay needs to be about 70-80% related to the text and 30-20% about your own life

safe rose
#

Other changes you should make are adding a clear thesis and referring it back to either the question or thesis

safe rose
lost viper
#

wait, i haven't even told u the prompt

safe rose
#

Try writing one

#

Minimum 1 and a half lines

lost viper
#
  1. Family plays a key role in To Kill a Mockingbird. Discuss this idea in both To Kill a Mockingbird and your own experience.
#

that's the prompt

#

ik you want to use a lot of key words from the prompt throughout your essay

safe rose
#

Yeah

lost viper
#

wouldn't this count as the thesis? " Through the character of Atticus, Bob, Jem and Scout, Mulligan explores the impact of family dynamics on an individual’s sense of identity and morality" or

#

does it not

safe rose
#

If you need any more help or smt, I’ll just get back to you in 1 and a half hours cuz I have maths 😭

lost viper
safe rose
#

Will respond to your thesis later

#

Or someone else can

lost viper
#

gl for ur maths haha,

safe rose
#

Thank you

lost viper
safe rose
#

❀

safe rose
lost viper
sacred idol
#

which would be a correct sentence and why:

A) first we need oil before we cook

B)we need oil first before we cook

sacred idol
#

bro thanks

open zealot
#

I wrote a paragraph for a writing exercise.
and decided to send it there.

#

Viral (an alien) :
2 hundred years ago I went on vacation to Solar System for a few years. I went with my family.
We spent 4 years in Nepton. The weather was too cold. And my daughter was sick there. Then we went to Mars and stay there for 9 years. It was uncomfortable, because it was too dry.
After that we went to Earth. It was like paradise, but there were many magic animals in Earth. That wanted to hurt us. So we just spent 2 days in Earth. Then we went to Mercury for a day, because it was too hot. Then we went back home.
I have been in Solar system and tell you “never travel to Solar system”.

open zealot
#

I didn’t believe love.
But six months ago I participated in an event, where I saw her.
A girl with a nice smile, She was very friendly and kind. I fell in love with her.
But on the third day of the event I paid attention to her finger. She wore a ring!!
Although I was trying to forget her, I couldn’t.
I’m still depressed.

"writing exercise"

open prism
#

Hi there folks 👋 . if someone wants to improve his/her speaking, DM me as I'm going to open up such opportunity. we will also learn new advanced native-like vocabularies and will use while speaking so that we can make use of those words better and better. it's almost like a ADVANCED CONVERSATION CLUB and all the materials will be provided (TOTALLY FOR FREE).

obsidian beacon
hollow jackal
#

"native-like" vocabulary

limber summit
#

I think this goes under English questions

#

that chat is more likely to help

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can I ask for feedback on my analysis/opinion paragraphs

tall jetty
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Perfect but it might be better to say “its flavour” rather than “the flavour of it”

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Check the other channel I made a response for that one too

heady nova
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If you are a coffee lover, then you know the joy of finding the right place to drink your coffee that satisfies your tastes buds and energizes your day.The moment I take my first sip of Starbucks Frappuccino, I'm transported into a world of rich and complex flavors.

 The vibes of the coffee is awesome and warm. people often think that Starbucks is overrated and overpriced but I'm enjoying it because I can't find anything good as it is. even if you don't want to buy anything you can sit and study or chill with your friends.

I tried many different kinds of coffees to see if there's something more magnificent than Starbucks Frappuccino but unfortunately I couldn't find one

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I wrote a descriptive essay can someone correct me?it is my first time

obsidian beacon
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If you're a coffee lover, then you know the joy of finding the right place to drink your coffee and satisfy your thirst and energizes your day. The moment I take my first sip of my Starbucks Frappuccino, I'm transported into a world of rich and complex flavors.

 People often think that Starbucks is overrated and overpriced but I find it to be the best coffee out there, with nothing to compare. Starbucks is great too, as even if you don't want to buy anything, you can still relax or study or hang out with your friends.

I tried many different kinds of coffees to see if there's something more magnificent than Starbucks Frappuccino but unfortunately I couldn't find one

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@heady nova

heady nova
hoary kettle
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Shazam! Fury of Gods is an American superhero movie based on the DC comics Shazam. This movie was first released on March 15, 2023 and directed by David F. Sandberg who is also known for being the director of annabelle. The movie Shazam lasts for 2 hours and 10 minutes. This movie is about a kid named Billy Batson, a 14 year old orphan that lives in Philadelphia with his foster parents, the Vazquez family, along with 5 other orphans which are Frederick "Freddy" Freeman, Mary Bromfield, Eugene Choi, Pedro Peña, Darla Dudley. Billy Batson got his powers from a wizard which gave him superhuman powers which he then shares with his foster siblings. One day there was a new kid in freddy’s school named anne which later turned out to be youngest out of 3 daughters of atlas, which is Anthea. The daughters of Atlas came to earth to seek a staff that can help them in finding the Seed of Life and restore their god realm to how it was before the Wizard (Djimon Hounsou) put a barrier around it. However after they got the seed of life, kalypso, the middle sibling of the daughter of atlas proposes that they turn earth into their new home which the other siblings didn’t agree to leading to hespera, anthea, and the shazam siblings to fight for the good of earth.

The backstory of this movie is simple and explained in the movie so that we don’t have to read the comic to understand the content of the movie. However the characters don’t feel like they have enough unique personality that distinguishes them from each other.
You should watch this movie because the storyline is more lighthearted and it includes more comical jokes compared to most American superhero movies making it suitable to watch with kids and the whole family.

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halp

limber summit
hoary kettle
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TThe ideas are from my friend

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i just need to hand it in a few hours

limber summit
#

Annabelle (second sentence) is missing the caps

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the movie name

hoary kettle
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oh yeah

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is that it?

weak gazelle
#

Belize was granted independence on 21 September 1981. Guatemala refused to recognize the new nation because of its longstanding territorial dispute with the British colony, claiming that Belize belonged to Guatemala. About 1,500 British troops remained in Belize to deter any possible incursions.With George Cadle Price at the helm, the PUP won all national elections until 1984. In that election, the first national election after independence, the PUP was defeated by the United Democratic Party (UDP). UDP leader Manuel Esquivel replaced Price as prime minister, with Price himself unexpectedly losing his own House seat to a UDP challenger. The PUP under Price returned to power after elections in 1989. The following year the United Kingdom announced that it would end its military involvement in Belize, and the RAF Harrier detachment was withdrawn the same year, having remained stationed in the country continuously since its deployment had become permanent there in 1980. British soldiers were withdrawn in 1994, but the United Kingdom left behind a military training unit to assist with the newly created Belize Defence Force.

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Any mistakes?

heady nova
#

@hoary kettle Here are some of the mistakes in order, sentence-wise.

Sentence 1: Put all movie names in double quotes

Sentence 2: Put a comma after David Sandberg OR just make a new sentence for readability. Also capitalize Anabelle

Sentence 4: It's a little choppy to read. Since you already mentioned the movie, just start with "It is about..." It should be "foster family" if you are referring to a WHOLE family. Introduce the other orphans in a new sentence. Before listing the last name, add an "and."

Sentence 5: Say that Billy Batson, "GETS his powers." This is only if it's shown in the movie. I haven't watched it, so I don't know.

Sentence 6: Comma after "One day," then "there IS a new kid," It should be in present tense. Capitalize "Anne," With people, use "who", so "Anne, who later turned out....." capitalize "Atlas." Explain Anne in relation to Anthea. You could do this by saying, "...youngest out of 3 daughters of Atlas, who's real name is Anthea..." You should probably also talk about WHO Anthea is...a goddess?

Make sure to put commas where they have to be, capitalize things, and try to make things more readable.

hoary kettle
#

thank youu

rocky cove
#

hello

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I need to help for my exam

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Can you help me?

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it is an english exam

safe rose
heady nova
#

halo

heady nova
#

It was hard to be cool as a cucumber during the pandemic's outbreak.

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Many people around you are just bad eggs.

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I still remember when I drew a longbow when talking to my friends some years ago.

heady nova
heady nova
heady nova
heady nova
#

thank you for your corrections

rustic igloo
#

Could you please proof read my written work?
Question
Some people say that going on a group tour is better than traveling alone. What do you think about that?

My answer
I think that going on a group tour is good.
First off, that is safer than traveling alone.
News sometimes says someone who traveled alone was killed.
Also, being alone is easy to run into a thief or robber.

Secondly, group tours can save money more than traveling alone.
Veachles, like trains, cars, and buses, have group discount prices and people can go to many popular locations at these prices.

For these reasons, I recommend going on a group tour.

rustic igloo
#

Thank you for your corrections.
I'm going to study hard!

rustic igloo
#

Thank you for the perfect answer!
I will study this as a reference.

ashen storm
#

Could someone read my text and tell me if something is wrong please

heady nova
tough galleon
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A Man in The Desert

Once, a man was cast out into a vast desert and could not find his way out,
and thus the desert became his new home; one he did not want to live in.
His mind forgot all the places where he once felt at home, and soon, his thinking was as empty and hopeless as the arid lands on which he now trod in circles.
One night, he spoke to the sky:
"Where is thine thunder and lightning? Too long hath I stayed in this place where all is the same and where nothing means anything. Hearken to me and hit me with your lightning, and it shall be no crime."
But nothing happened for 2 nights, and every night he pledged these words to the sky; but on the third night, there was a huge storm and lightning kept striking a dune on which a lonely tree stood in the distance.
"This shall be my final ascent and my superior moment" he said to his heart and approached the tree.
When he walked nigh unto the tree, which had been split in half, he saw next to it a wounded princess in the sand.
And thus he said to the princess:
"Thou stole something from me which I deserved, thou innocent one. I shall bring thee back to thy castle."
And the princess replied:
"Carry me not, for your body is weak and meager and you are going to die"
But the man did not listen and said "What matters mine body? If I can do thee service, that shall be its purpose"
And thus, he carried the princess back to her castle and tended to her until her wounds healed and then said to her:
"It is done. Now, what good am I?" and after saying that, he ran out of her room, but the princess ordered her guards to stop him, and when the guards again brought him before the princess, she said "If thou knowest not what thee are good for, please, let me be the one to tell thee" and she kissed him and made him her prince.

Just looking for ideas to make it sound better.

heady nova
#

Excuse me, may I ask something?

safe rose
heady nova
#

No, no, I was asking whether I'm allowed to send my half finished story or not

safe rose
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Feel free

heady nova
#

Thank you

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North Mountains
The freezing cold will freeze you into a statue. The caves hold a million secrets. Monsters crawling on top of the rocks. Larger than Everest itself, North Mountains. The mysterious mountains, that contain fascinating secrets and untold stories.

“Is that true granpapa?”
“But of course! This tale has been told from generations to generations.”
“That’s so cool! Tell me more!”
“Hold your bomb, little youngin. It’s time for you to go sleep.”
“But granpapa-“
“No buts, Buzzer.”

I’ve always loved that tale. Though I still question how much of it was true. Now, I am a professional hiker, and I would love to hike the North Mountains. I’ve done various searches about it, but it was all in vain. But I kept searching, until I found an interesting article. ‘Cloud like mountains spotted in the north of England’.

‘Many people reported seeing cloud like mountains in the north of England. These mysterious mountains only appear during the full moon. Many hikers managed to track the location, but they never seemed to have returned home.’

The article I was reading really caught my attention. Could that be the North Mountains? But that sounds too fictional. Maybe that’s fake news? But, it’s worth the try.

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I'm trying to find someone that can maybe fix my grammar

safe rose
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But for the first bit I’d change the full stops into commas

heady nova
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Thanks for the suggestion

safe rose
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Until “Largest than Everest itself” and put “the” before “North”

heady nova
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I'll be sure to consider it, thanks once again

tough galleon
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Well I'm not the best at narrative style writing so there's still lots of words/expressions I miss out on that would make my writing better. I notice this every time I read narratives from other authors. Maybe I'll make this story part of a fairy tale I'm working on.

hot ocean
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As someone who dabbles in writing fairly often, your usage of "thus" is bordering on repetitive.

tough galleon
hot ocean
tough galleon
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Oki thanks!

hot ocean
tough galleon
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ooo that sounds nice indeed:)

lethal fjord
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Hello everyone

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I need to practice English everyday with someone

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Thanks in advance 🙂

real forum
tight sandal
#

Feel free to talk in general or if you are not as comfortable use beginner English, you can DM me but I can’t guarantee I’ll respond quickly. 👍

heady nova
turbid thistle
#

Is there anyone in grad school who can please review my personal statement? I don't think it needs proofreading I just want someone to review it because I have no idea if it is good enough. I'd appreciate it. TIA.

dark surge
rustic igloo
#

Could you please proof read my written work?

[question]
It is often said that restaurants and supermarkets should try to reduce the amount of food that they throw away. Do you agree with this opinion?

[my answer]
I agree that restaurants and supermarkets should try to reduce the amount of food that throw away.

Firstly, it is a good effect on our environment.
Many foods that throw away are usually burned.
It emissions many carbons into the atmosphere and it connects to air pollution.
People have to reduce carbon to protect our environment.

Secondly, reducing the amount of food can save money for these companies that make food.
Things that can reduce by it are not only food but also containers and delivery cost.
They can save a lot of money.
For these reasons, I think I have to reduce the amount of food that they throw away.

tropic leaf
# rustic igloo Could you please proof read my written work? [question] It is often said that r...

I'm no expert but if I were you I would rephrase it as:

"I agree that restaurants and supermarkets should try to reduce the amount of food that is thrown away."
(Passive voice error, throw need to be in the past participle form: 'thrown')

"First, it has a good effect on our environment."
('Firstly' is a correct ordinal adverb, but it isn't your best choice when enumerating key-points. Try changing it into it's synonym: First. Firstly is correct but I would prefer using 'first' over 'firstly').

(It has a good effect on our environment. Reduce the amount of food can make a good effect on our environment.
What you are saying is that the action itself is the good effect of our environment which isn't true)

"Most of the food that is thrown away is usually burned."
(Food is an uncountable noun, which means you cannot use 'many' with it. However, you can describe that the majority of the food is something by saying 'Most of the food ...')

tropic leaf
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"Things that can reduce by it are not only food but also containers and delivery cost."
(The meaning is unclear here, a way to rephrase that sentence in a way that is more natural could look like based on how I understood it :
"Some ways to reduce it is by using containers and delivery cost.")

tropic leaf
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"For these reasons, I think I have to reduce the amount of food that they throw away."

I don't think you can 'reduce' the amount of food that companies throw away, unless you are one of their employees of course.

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Overall I think even though your choices of word isn't that great, your direction of trying express yourself is exellent (Yes I also misspelled that word).

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And by 'isn't that great' I mean unnatural, isn't what an experienced person would say.

This is just an answer from me, there could be many out there who is more of an expert in English with a different answer.

rustic igloo
heady nova
#

hi I wrote a narrative essay can someone correct me please ? I can't send it here đŸ™đŸ»

heady nova
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Hello

young tapir
viral burrow
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hi

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i am preparing fot nyc 5th grade state test, pls grade my ela responses

viral burrow
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hi

prisma remnant
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hi

glad hinge
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I need some english help

I strive to help others with their problems, like when I provided help to my friend Anthony by determining who the people were that genuinely cared for him.

I strive to help others with their problems, like when I provided help to my friend Anthony by determining who were the people that genuinely cared for him.

Which word order would be correct? i am getting very confused by this

limber hill
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But the second is okay too I guess

limber hill
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Or: by determining who the people that genuinely cared for him were

glad hinge
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okay

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thanks

prisma remnant
#

hi ,could someone give me feedback to my introduction of my discusion ?Should it be illegal to bring a knife to public transport in Germany?

Nowadays a political party brings up a new debate. After several knife attacks have happened on trains, they have begun to think about a knife ban on public transport. On the one hand, people explain that it would bring more safety, but on the other hand, especially for women, it would feel unsafer in public because they could feel like they can not defend themselves against others. Thus, it is an appropriate ask if it should be illegal to bring a knife to public Transport.

heady nova
#

hi- i need an essay looked at @ me if you can help.

static spoke
#

kjljk

viral burrow
#

hi

cunning inlet
robust quest
# prisma remnant hi ,could someone give me feedback to my introduction of my discusion ?Should it...

In recent times, there has been a growing concern among the public regarding the alarming incidents of knife attacks that have occurred on public transport. This has prompted a political party to propose a debate regarding the imposition of a knife ban on public transport. While this proposition seems to be aimed at ensuring the safety of the passengers, it has also raised concerns about the potential impact it might have on women's safety.

heady nova
cunning inlet
#

Sorry, i do not click links.

#

Copy paste it

plucky forge
# cunning inlet Copy paste it

(that's what was there vivek.)Double Indemnity by James M. Cain is a popular crime novel published in 1936. Eight years later, a film adaptation directed by Billy Wilder was released and was a success, earning seven Academy Award nominations. The film and book are now considered classics in the crime genre. The 1944 movie version effectively captures the characters' essence, including Phyllis’ early scenes, Keyes' character and relationship with Walter, and the significance of the endings, making it a legitimate adaptation.
Phyllis' character in the book is portrayed as a manipulative and cold woman who uses her power over Walter to manipulate him into committing murder. The quote "He sat there drumming with his fingers on the arms" pg 26 highlights Phyllis's ability to control Walter, making him a pawn in her dangerous game. However, the movie takes a different approach, depicting Phyllis as a more sympathetic character and romanticizing her relationship with Walter. The quote "I'm pretty crazy about you too, Walter" pg 82 shows their attraction to each other and the challenges they face together. These characterizations have a significant impact on the themes of each version. The book reinforces the dark themes of the noir genre, while the movie creates a more hopeful tone. Ultimately, these character portrayals emphasize the importance of character development in telling the story's overall message.
In the book, Barton Keyes is seen as a sharp and focused insurance investigator, who uses his skills to uncover the truth behind Phyllis and Walter's scheme. Keyes'

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determination can be seen when he said "If you can get him off that bed and make him think”, pg 38 highlighting his approach to solving the case. In contrast, the movie adaptation portrays Keyes in a more empathetic, showing his softer side. Keyes' appreciation for love and relationships is emphasized in the quote "He's quite a matchmaker. Oh yeah. He's romantic." pg 113 Moreover, the movie shows the close friendship between Keyes and Walter, adding scenes that show their interactions outside of work. These differences in character portrayal and their relationship with Walter conflicts with the story's themes. Finally, these contrasting depictions of Keyes and his relationship with Walter shape the story's overall themes and message.
In the movie Walter's guilt is presented by his memories of the murder, emphasizing the nature of the crime. One scene in which this is particularly clear is when Walter is waiting for Phyllis to signal him that it is safe to enter the house and complete the murder. This showcases the impact of the act and the darkness it causes. The contrast with the more happy ending of the film suggests that redemption is possible. These differences in the portrayal of guilt between the book and movie have an impact on the overall themes of the story. Overall, the book emphasizes the dark nature of the crime and its consequences.
Overall, the film adaptation of James M. Cain's novel Double Indemnity directed by Billy Wilder effectively captures the essence of the characters and offers a distinct interpretation of the source material. While there are differences in certain parts, Wilder adapts the story in a cinematic way that remains true to the original story. Both the book and the film provide a compelling exploration of the dark and complex nature of human desires, showcasing the ways in which storytelling can be adapted in different ways.

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Mini note- ive been editing some this morning. Im at 559 and need 600. Teacher would prob allow under 20-15, but that means i need 20 words. If you can tell me any places for detail

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(that's what was there vivek.)

heady nova
#

oml. thank you HAHA. @ or dm me w suggestions

prisma remnant
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@robust quest thank you

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@heady nova thank you

viral burrow
#

hola

hasty compass
obsidian beacon
#

Would bring my gun(s) if I could

meager night
#

hi, I am looking for a native English person to edit some text translated into English
anybody interested?
please message me if interested

heady nova
#

@viscid gazelle the 4th paragraph is a counter argument.

viscid gazelle
heady nova
viscid gazelle
heady nova
analog fractal
#

@heady nova Source not sourse

heady nova
viscid gazelle
analog fractal
heady nova
analog fractal
heady nova
viscid gazelle
heady nova
#

Thank you both for reading the essay and feedback

heady nova
analog fractal
viscid gazelle
#

Now I'm wondering are you really top g

analog fractal
#

I remember the Geroge Floyd case@heady nova

heady nova
viscid gazelle
heady nova
heady nova
viscid gazelle
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I was jk

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It's was great!!!! I really liked it

#

I can understand everything

vernal merlin
#

Mateus: Hello.
Sham: Hi.
Mateus: What is your name?
Sham: My name is Sham And you?
Mateus: My name is Mateus. I'm glad to talk to you.
Sham: It is nice to meet you.
Mateus: Where are you from?
Sham: I am from... And you?
Mateus: I am from Brazil. Sham: Where in Brazil are you from?
Mateus: I live in a town called Sobradinho in the state of Bahia. But I also live in two other citys Juazeiro in the same state and Petrolina in the state of Pernambuco.
Sham: So, Mateus, What do you do?
Mateus: I'm a teacher. I taught in a school in Petrolina during six months or so and I quit to aplly for a job in the Secretatria de Educação da Bahia. I'm gonna be an educacional coordinator there.
Sham: Where did you graduate?
Mateus: I graduated in Universidade de Pernambuco (University of Pernambuco). And I teach in elementary school.
Sham: Cool, man. You seem young. How old are you?
Mateus: I'm not that young, I'm 24 years old.

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Guys help me to improve this conversation pls

vernal merlin
cloud galleon
#

In the 4th line, it's written, My name is Sham And you?

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that's incorrect usage of punctuation

#

just add a full stop

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before and

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Also, you shouldn't use words like gonna for formal things, you should use the phrase, 'going to' instead of 'gonna'

#

the spelling of apply is also wrong

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the spelling of educational

cloud galleon
#

Where you have written where in brazil are you from, you could use a phrase like 'Could you be more precise?'

heady nova
#

comments on an essay that my teacher left, can someone look over the revised version and make sure I didn’t miss anything? Dm if so

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Or @ me

still umbra
#

Hello, I'm 13 years old and I speak very bad English. I would like to learn to speak English. I come from Germany.

gaunt latch
heady nova
#

its just under 600

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double spaced if that matters

gaunt latch
heady nova
#

Hello

limpid carbon
#

Hey

tropic thorn
#

Hi everyone, is there any native speaker who can help me to correct my CV?

rich jewel
#

can you send?

tropic thorn
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sure, should I send it here or can i pm?

rich jewel
#

send it in dms

tropic thorn
#

ok, thank you

rough owl
#

hi

ember crown
#

hey

empty frigate
uncut junco
#

Nowadays, most students spend their time after school for private tutoring classes. Some of them are actually want to go to those classes to obtain necessary knowledge and can understand more about the lessons were taught in school. Beside, some students were forced by their parents although they do not want to. So, what does make extra classes so special like that?
First, we could know extra classes are the sort of time for you to obtain important knowledge, it can help you understand more about the lessons were taught in school. Nonetheless, I found out that students go to private tutoring classes because of not understanding the lessons during the school hours or they even feel private tutoring classes help them understand the lessons easily than the official classes. It will be quite unfair but in extra classes you can practice many exercises at a higher difficulty level, that was not given in school. The teachers will help you and fix your problems in that subject, teachers here will be more attentive than the official teachers. In sum, extra classes will give you additional knowledge, solve your problems in any subject, you can practice more difficult questions and help you clearly understand school lessons. Despite of these astonishing advantages, extra classes actually will waste students’ leisure times for relaxing. Similarly, students won’t have enough time to done their homework, because when they are back home, it is usually late. Some of them were forced to go to private tutoring classes, their parents want them to be smarter than other students, could do more difficult questions and always get good grades while their kids frankly do not need it. As you can see, we have to know that taking an extra class is necessary or not to have a reasonable decision.

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In conclusion, I would like to go for extra classes when I actually do not understand a subject, I cannot solve the problems by myself and need some professional helps. I have to make sure this will not affect much to my relaxing time and I still have time to do homework as well as other activities. It depends on you, extra classes are profitable but it will go badly when you abuse uncontrollably and unnecessarily.

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Hello I'm a new member and I need you guys to help me check this essay. I'm still wondering if it was written in the correct way or not. I also ran out of ideas, please help me improve it. Btw the topic is: Should students take extra class?
Thank you so much!

gaunt latch
# uncut junco Nowadays, most students spend their time after school for private tutoring class...

Nowadays, most students spend their time after school in private tutoring classes. Some of them actually want to go to those classes to obtain necessary knowledge and to understand more about the lessons that were taught in school. Others are forced by their parents despite not wanting to go. So, what makes after-school classes so special?

First, we know that extra classes are the sort of thing that helps you to obtain important knowledge, and they can help you understand more about the lessons that were taught in school. I found out that students go to private tutoring classes because of a lack of understanding they feel in their classes, and even feel private tutoring will teach them the information more clearly than a regular school class would. It might seem unfair(I don't understand the logic here?) but in extra classes you can practice many exercises at a higher difficulty level than in school. The teachers will help you and fix your problems in that subject, and will be more attentive than the school's teachers.

In summary, extra classes will give you additional knowledge, extra help in solving your problems in any subject, practice in solving more difficult questions, and help you more clearly understand school lessons. Despite the astonishing advantages, extra classes could also waste students’ leisure time. Similarly, students might not have enough time to do their homework if they consistently return late from tutoring. Some students are forced to go to private tutoring classes because their parents want them to be smarter than other students, want them to do more difficult questions, and get better grades. Frankly, the kids do not need that much pressure. As you can see, we have to know whether taking an extra class is necessary to make a reasonable decision.

gaunt latch
# uncut junco In conclusion, I would like to go for extra classes when I actually do not under...

In conclusion, I would like to go to extra classes when I genuinely cannot understand a subject or solve the problems by myself and need some professional help. I have to make sure this will not affect my leisure and homework time too much. It depends on the person, but extra classes can become more of a burden than a helpful resource when you do not reasonably manage your time and do not give students time to decompress.

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I didn't study writing so it's not perfectly polished but I edited places where the grammar was wrong and tried to rephrase things to make the flow sound better.

uncut junco
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oh my god thank youu

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Some of the ideas may sound a bit strange, but that's the problem of education in my country

south summit
#

" a dramatic influx of forced migration and refugees into the Middle East" i couldve misunderstood you but do you mean that migrants are going into the middle east?

void raven
#

This is more grammatical than linguistic, but I've noticed you have some run on sentences and sentences that would be better if they were split up. For example, in the sentence "However, due to Ukraine's massive recent political conflict with Russia, they have stopped accepting refugees, because it is no longer a safe place, approximately 8 million refugees have fled Ukraine, which accounts for 20% of the population of Ukraine, and a total of 5,044,039 Ukrainian refugees have applied for temporary asylum in Europe," it's ambiguous whether you mean "they've stopped accepting refugees because it's no longer a safe place" or "8 million refugees have fled Ukraine because it's no longer a safe place"

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Other than that though, this is really well written

gleaming marlin
#

Are you preparing for the IELTS ?

bold ridge
#

hi

warm dome
#

Instructions: You have taken part in a „Seven-Day Digital Detox challenge“. Now you are writing a blog entry about your experience (write about 200 words)

Hello everybody!
Do you know what „Digital Detox“ means? It means simply removing all digital and smartphone devices from your life for a while, spending a screen-free time to care for other things like your health. Nowadays a lot of people do a digital detox and it is said to be a great idea to take some time off so I did it. I®m sure you were wondering where I was.
Firstly I want to tell you what digital habits I had. My phone was basically with me all the time. Especially social media was a big habit in my daily life. I checked my phone all day long for followers, likes and messages. Obviously I also used to play lots of games on my phone and tablet, which made me have a screen time of 6 hours. According to that, I really wanted to change things up a little bit
However, you probably want to know what positive effects the detox challenge had on my life, right? Well, I noticed a lot more motivation in what I was doing. Even after the challenge I donÂŽt feel like going back to my old habits since IÂŽm a lot more happier now. Besides that I also spend a lot more time outside playing with my friends and doing something more different than being on the phone.

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Moreover I faced some problems during the detox. Mainly it was because of communication problems. It took a while to contact my friends since I wasnÂŽt able to message them with my phone. I didnÂŽt even know they had a mobile phone. Another issue was that I only watch the news on my phone so I had to get information from elsewhere otherwise I wouldÂŽve been clueless of what was going on in the world.
In the end the digital detox taught me a lesson. If you want to do a digital detox aswell, you should get a structured plan first. Think about how you contact your friends without texting them for example. And always remember that consistency is key! If you really want to see results, no matter what you are doing, you really have to stick to it.
Leave a like and follow if youÂŽd like to see more of my blogs and have a great weekend!
Bye, Laura

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basically it was 4 aspects:

  • describe your digital habits
  • what positive effects the detox challenge had on your life
  • what problems you faced
  • your advice to people who want to do such a challenge
split onyx
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@gleaming marlin i am preparing for ileta

tropic leaf
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As you scroll through the countless comments on a popular YouTube video, you can't help but notice one individual whose words stand out among the rest. They offer a unique perspective that seems to cut through the noise, capturing the attention of readers and compelling them to pause and reflect.

This individual, whose name remains unknown, possesses a remarkable ability to shed light on the inner workings of the human mind, providing insight and understanding into the complexities of human behavior. With each comment they make, they reveal a deep understanding of the human condition, offering wisdom and guidance that seem to come from a place of profound knowledge.

Their comments are not simply idle chatter or meaningless drivel. No, they are much more than that. They are a window into the human psyche, a glimpse into the thoughts and emotions that drive our behavior and shape our lives.

As you continue to read their words, you can't help but feel that this individual possesses a psychological acumen that is rare and precious. They seem to have a gift for unraveling the mysteries of human behavior, peeling back the layers of the human psyche with an almost surgical precision.

And yet, despite their obvious talent, this individual remains anonymous, hidden in the vast sea of comments that populate YouTube. Who are they? What drives them to share their wisdom and insight with others? These questions remain unanswered, but one thing is certain: their contributions to the world of online discourse are invaluable.

So the next time you stumble upon a YouTube video and find a comment that seems to offer something more, something deeper, take a closer look. It may be the work of this mysterious and talented individual, whose name remains unknown but whose insights are nothing short of remarkable.

snow cloak
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My name is xxxxx, I am xx years old, and a young Moroccan man student in high school with big dream. I am a Moroccan young man with big dreams. I want to contribute to a positive change to serve humanity. And I know that United Nations as a global organization plays a key role to achieve an equitable and sustainable development for every human being in the world. I am xxxxx xx years old and I want to participate to this change. I heard and I read about the SDG’s, Sustainable Development Goals, and I want to contribute as a young man to the 2030 development agenda. The future I want as many other thousands, millions young people in the world is a future where every human being can enjoy his/her rights. I am convinced that my participation to the Model United Nations will give me opportunity to express my views, share my dreams, and mobilize my peers to support my ideas. It will be also an occasion for me to hear and learn from other young people, to create a global network and Moroccan network relation made up of young people for a better future for the humanity. My participation to the MUN 2023 will also help to sharpen my team work, public speaking, negotiations, and stress management skills. The MUN 2023 is for me a dream. You can make my dream a reality. Thank you for your support.

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some advices?

safe rose
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My name is xxxxx, I am xx years old, and I’m a young Moroccan man student in high school with big dream. I am a Moroccan young man with big dreams. <—(You don’t need to repeat this sentence twice) I want to contribute to a positive change to and serve humanity. (Replace the full stop with a comma) and I know that United Nations as a global organization plays a key role to achieve an equitable and sustainable development for every human being in the world. I am xxxxx xx years old **no need to repeat your age)**and I want to participate to this change. I heard and I read about the SDG’s, Sustainable Development Goals, (remove comma. Also you can start using the abbreviation “SDG” after you have included the full name once) and I want to contribute as a young man to the 2030 development agenda. In T the future I want as many other thousands, millions young (be diverse with ages, not just young people) people in the world is a future to live in a world where every human being can enjoy his/her their rights. I am convinced that my participation to the Model United Nations will give me opportunity to express my views, share my dreams, and mobilize my peers to support my ideas. It will be also also be an occasion for me to hear and learn from other young people, (remove comma) to create a global network and a Moroccan network relation made up of young people (I’m unsure of this statement but i think you mean “by young people”) for a the better future for the humanity. My participation to the MUN (what does this stand for?) 2023 will also help to sharpen my team work, public speaking, negotiations, and stress management skills. The MUN 2023 is for me a dream for me. You can make my dream a reality. Thank you for your support.

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@snow cloak

snow cloak
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thanks you verry much

prisma hemlock
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Hey there, I've changed your text a little, you are not obligated to use this version, but please take it into consideration-----> Nowadays, a political party brings up a new debate: After several knife attacks have happened on trains, they have begun to think about a knife ban on public transport. On the one hand, people explain that it would bring more safety. On the other hand, especially for women, it would feel more dangerous in public because they could feel like they cannot defend themselves against others. Thus, it is an appropriate ask if it should be illegal to bring a knife to public transport. (I changed "unsafer" to "more dangerous", although unsafer is said to be a valid English word, it is very uncommon, and would bring up confusion. I also altered the grammar. You've done a really great job! Please note that "on the one hand" is used in formal conversations and text, such as a contract. In daily conversations, you should use "on one hand". Same goes for "ask" being used in "Thus, it is an appropriate ask..", in daily conversations it should be replaced with "question". Good luck!)

safe rose
languid creek
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could someone please help me out

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i have an exam and i just need someone to proofread and give feedback on the essay

heady nova
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@languid creek Hello, If you want to post here can take a look.

languid creek
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alright

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A character with a flaw is best represented in Arthur Miller’s “Death of a Salesman”. The story describes the final 24 hours of the protagonist’s life. Willy Loman, set to be successful, has flawed views on the American Dream and believes heavily in the success of personal attributes compared to hard work. This leads him onto tragically killing himself as he cannot let go of his dreams to accept his current situation. Miller’s clever use of dialogue, key scene explores the themes of the American Dream, father son relationship and illusion vs reality which contributes to the reader’s appreciation of the play as a whole.

We see that Willy is a character with a flaw as soon as he is introduced in the play, when he returns from work he announces to his wife that “It’s alright, I came back” this could be a fairly innocent thing to say, however if you delve deeper into the meaning behind it, it is an ominous start to the play. Linda may have been worried about him and he has to reassure her that he is alright. This is the first hint to his flaw but it is made more clear later on when he is inside the house and sitting on the bed and talking to Linda about what happened:
“I’m tired to the death. I couldn’t make it. I just couldn’t make it.”
This again, creates an ominous mood, Willy’s dialogue highlights his low self esteem and he may literally be talking about the sales trip he was on but on a deeper level he feels like he can’t make it in life.This also highlights his fragile mental state and explores the theme of American Dream which contributes to the reader’s appreciation of the play as a whole, he struggles so much and yet gets so little but later on we see why this is the case.

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We see that Willy is a character with a flaw more clearly when he is telling his kids about the business world. We see that Willy has flashbacks into the past when things were brighter and better for him, and we see him telling his kids that “the man who creates personal interest, is the man who gets ahead. Be liked and you will never want.” We see Willy’s flaw is in his delusion of the business world, Willy believes that personal attributes like looks and charisma will make you a successful person, however we see that his children take this advice to heart and later on do not know how to make something of themselves. We see however that Willy’s own advice does not work for him when he tells Linda about the things that are going on in his own workplace:
“I’m very well liked in Hartford. You know the trouble is, Linda, people don’t seem to take to me 
 They seem to laugh at me.”
Willy tells his kids that being well liked will take you forward and we see that he says that what he is in Hartford but however we see that he immediately contradicts himself when he says that the people at his workplace laugh at him in fact, and we see that his deluded views are his flaw. This show’s his confused state and it is a telling reminder that he is not mentally stable. Willy’s dialogue explores the themes illusion vs reality and contributes to the reader’s appreciation of the play as a whole.

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In conclusion, “Death of a Salesman” by Arthur Miller is a play in which there is a character with a flaw which contributes to the reader’s appreciation of the play as a whole. We see that Willy’s dreams and the compassion to achieve this dream leads him to a fragile mental state as he goes by the wrong means to achieve this dream and tragically ends up killing himself. Miller’s clever use of dialogue and key scene explores the key themes of the play such as the theme of American Dream, illusion v reality and father son relationship.

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@heady nova

heady nova
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@languid creek Ok let me take look

languid creek
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thank you

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must be a pretty thorough proof read

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ive had 5 kids already

heady nova
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Well note you are getting this for free! So we could wait for child number 3500 before I reply!?

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@languid creek

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A character with a flaw is best represented in Arthur Miller’s “Death of a Salesman”. The story describes the final 24 hours of the protagonist’s life. Willy Loman, is set up to be successful and has flawed views on the American Dream. He believes heavily in the success of personal attributes, compared to that of hard work. This leads him onto tragically killing himself as he cannot let go of his dreams and accept his current situation.

Miller’s clever use of dialogue and key scenes that explore the themes of the American Dream, alongside the father-son relationship and illusions versus reality which contributes to the reader’s appreciation of the play as a whole.

We see that Willy is a character with a flaw as soon as he is introduced into the play, when he returns from work he announces to his wife that “It’s alright, I came back” this could be a fairly innocent thing to say, however if you delve deeper into the meaning behind it, it is an ominous start to the play. Linda may have been worried about him and he has to reassure her that he is alright. This is the first hint to his flaw but it is made more clear later on when he is inside the house and sitting on the bed and talking to Linda about what happened:
“I’m tired to death. I couldn’t make it. I just couldn’t make it.” This again, creates an ominous mood, Willy’s dialogue highlights his low self esteem and he may literally be talking about the sales trip he was on but on a deeper level he feels like he can’t make it in life. This also highlights his fragile mental state and explores further the theme of American Dream which contributes to the reader’s appreciation of the play as a whole, he struggles so much and yet gets so little but later on we see why this is the case.

We see that Willy is a character with a deeper flaw which is more clear when he is telling his children about the business world. We see that Willy has flashbacks into the past when things were brighter and better for him, and we see him telling his children that “the man who creates personal interest, is the man who gets ahead. Be liked and you will never want for anything. We see Willy’s flaw is in his delusion of the business world, Willy believes that personal attributes like looks and charisma will make you a successful person, however we see that his children take this advice to heart and later on do not know how to make something of themselves. We see that Willy’s own advice does not work for him when he tells Linda about the things that are going on in his own workplace: “I’m very well liked in Hartford. You know the trouble is, Linda, people don’t seem to take to me 
 They seem to laugh at me.”

Willy tells his children that being well liked will take you forward and we see that he says that what he is in Hartford, but however we see that he immediately contradicts himself when he says that the people at his workplace laugh at him. In fact, we see that his deluded views are his greatest flaw. This show’s his confused state and it is a telling reminder that he is not mentally stable. Willy’s dialogue explores the themes illusion versus reality and contributes to the reader’s appreciation of the play as a whole.

In conclusion, “Death of a Salesman” by Arthur Miller is a play in which there is a character with a flaw which contributes to the reader’s appreciation of the play as a whole. We see that Willy’s dreams and the compassion to achieve this dream affects his mental state as he follows unusual means to achieve this dream and tragically ends up killing himself. Miller’s clever use of dialogue and key scenes explores deep meanings of the play such as the theme of American Dream, illusion versus reality, and the father-son relationship.

languid creek
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thanks man

heady nova
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NOTE: This is a brief proofread, as I am a busy person! I have modified words and punctuation to suit your writing style (Should I have fully rewritten you it would not look natural. Finally I am no teacher! Use this at your own risk). cat_Sip

languid creek
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i just wanted feedback

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but thanks

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i appreciate the work

gleaming marlin
rich kernel
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My mom once told me that I have to do the housework and prepare dinner for me because she wanted to go to the mall with my aunt and had dinner there. At that time I told her "Okay Mom, you can't have the cake and eat it, bring me my dinner with u"

Is there any problem with that text?

outer cairn
outer cairn
outer cairn
rich kernel
lost hatch
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suggest me some groups to improve my english communication skills

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i am student of 9 grade

solid quarry
rich kernel
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Actually, it's an idiom from "Idiom of the Day Channel"

white linden
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honestly some of those idioms ive never heard 💀

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as a native speaker.

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and we dont really use the ones that we do have so often either

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some of them are fairly common, others, literally never hear them

hot ocean
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I feel like they're fairly common, but most of them aren't used by younger folks. I've heard almost all of them. "You can't have your cake and eat it too" is definitely something a literate young adult might say.

atomic robin
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Yeah, I only say them ironically lol

mild pine
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Hi

robust quest
robust quest
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One time my mother/mom asked me to do some housework/chores and prepare dinner for myself, as/since she was planning to go to the mall with my aunt and/to have dinner there, so I replied, "Very well, mom, but you can't have/keep all that cake for/to yourself. Could you bring me some dinner too?/How about brining back some dinner for me?"

rich kernel
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My mum not only told me to greet the guests, but to provide them with desserts.

Is this sentence comprehensible?

rich kernel
drowsy sand
rich kernel
drowsy sand
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👍

bold fox
wet elk
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We all dream to see the future, seeing how everything changes and evolves is breathtaking, the amount of solves to all sorts of problems, the future holds huge amount of knowledge, thanks to advanced technology more than we could ever imagine. Developing new solutions for problems we are creating takes time, luckily, we have plenty of it in the future

First of all, future can reveal anwsers that were right next to our noses, we can improve fields by developing new fertilizers, we could start using bigger machines to mine resources from the earth's crust, finally we could try to make our whole planet eco-friendly, mostly by using new and safer sources of energy like wind, hydrogen or even fusion, providing cheap, clean and safe energy is our key to researching space

On the second hand, there will always be some problems that even in future we won't be able to fix, most of them are caused by human emotions like envy or anger, these might lead world leaders to political conflicts or even war

(its not finished yet, but i need to check it first to see if im doing a good work)

heady nova
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@wet elk Hello! I will take a quick look (note I am not a teacher or professional).

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This is great work! My suggestions are below (note there was just some slight changes)

wet elk
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yeah sure, thanks anyways

heady nova
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We all dream to see the future, seeing how everything changes and evolves is breath taking, the amount of solutions to all sorts of problems, the future holds a huge amount of knowledge, thanks to advanced technology more than we could ever imagine. Developing new solutions for problems we are creating takes time, luckily, we have plenty of it in the future

First of all, future can reveal answers that were right next to our noses, we can improve fields by developing new fertilizers, we could start using bigger machines to mine resources from the earth's crust, finally we could try to make our whole planet eco-friendly, mostly by using new and safer sources of energy like wind, hydrogen or even fusion, providing cheap, clean and safe energy is our key to researching space

On the other hand, there will always be some problems that even in the future we won't be able to fix, most of them are caused by human emotions like envy or anger. These might lead world leaders to political conflicts or even war.

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(Note I use British English, but I have left the word as "fertilizers")

wet elk
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thanks a lot (tbh this is advanced english matura exam, so it has to be 100% correct) also, i dont really know if i should use british or american english here, but still thanks for help

heady nova
wet elk
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thanks and have a good day!

little notch
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Hello! I'd be grateful if native speakers or eng teachers would check my academical work in terms of:

  1. how good are word accuracy and grammar (if not, any alternatives?)
  • is there followed my academical style or there are some informal words there? how to substitute them then?
  1. how strong the arguments, thesis and summary are
  2. any remarks, suggestions, advice
    I know, a topic maybe somewhat controversial, but still :)) this is my homework :))

topic: Rather than bringing countries closer together, globalisation has led to increased nationalism.

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“Globalisation is not of paramount importance,” one person asserted “it is nothing short of increasing nationalism”. Does this affirmation hold the truth?
In general, globalisation is widely considered to be a movement that tends to integrate economies, societies and cultures across the globe, whereas nationalism is a patriotic feeling about one’s country and culture. Given this, let us discover how globalisation gives an incentive to rise nationalism. Does it grow at all or, perhaps, are there any other factors which affect this process?
In this essay, I will argue about the importance of globalization.

On average, globalisation is more about cooperation as well as integration. Indeed, it prioritizes international cooperation and regards the world as a single community. On the contrary, nationalism stands for localization, patriotism and good citizenship; however, in several cases, it causes isolation, bigotry, and xenophobia. Nationalism puts national interests higher than international relationships. It appears they are two opposite sides alike.

Nevertheless, it is argued that nationalism is regarded as a strong predictor of happiness. It is of a priority even rather than income, health or job satisfaction. What is more, it is explored that 88.5% of people across 60 countries admire their country. It is claimed that it is essential to protect their culture and traditions from global forces. Therefore, nationalism struggles to translate their interdependence into cooperation, and it ostensibly becomes more nationalistic.

Even so, one should bear in mind that national traditions, cuisine, and sights are often influenced by outside cultures. In essence, globalisation provides an opportunity to evolve the cultures of countries and stay them relevant. Furthermore, the growth of social media induces communication with people from other countries, making people more united.

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Additionally, in terms of economy, it is generally suggested that countries could do with globalisation unless they are likely to be isolated and with a lack of international engagement. Undoubtedly, it will be a great deal bigger threat rather than globalisation.

In short, globalisation and nationalism have complex relations; however, they are relatively interconnected. Albeit the vast majority of people feel patriotic about their countries, globalisation slightly increased patriotism. But still, it promotes their countries' traditions, retains any nations connected with each other and is economically advantageous.

orchid quail
little notch
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No. but i still would love to get profreading from teachers or native speakers :))

median jacinth
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I will review each paragraph sporadically because my time is limited. Are you on a time crunch?

"Does this affirmation hold the truth?" You probably should replace affirmation with "assertion" or "this statement."
I would take out "In general" and write something like "Globalization is commonly considered."
Also who is "one person" there is no credibility saying "oh someone out in the world said this" unless the assignment has extra info.
Replace "Given this" with "knowing this"?
I would rewrite "let us discover how globalization gives an incentive to rise nationalism. Does it grow at all or, perhaps, are there any other factors which affect this process? In this essay, I will argue about the importance of globalization." To something like "In my essay I will will argue the importance of globalization and discuss how globalization gives an incentive to rise nationalism. I will also (synonym for discuss) whether or not does globalization grow at all or, perhaps, are there any other factors which affect this process?"
Also, could you explain the phrase "incentive to rise nationalism." So like globalization leads to the rise of nationalism?

median jacinth
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@little notch

little notch
median jacinth
# little notch thank you for some advice! id like to know where we can use affirmation and wher...

Incentive just seemed out of place because incentive makes me think of money, or giving/promising something in return by doing a favor/task. Like a bonus is incentive to do better at a job.
Affirmation is affirming(supporting) an idea or action. Asserting is a confident and forceful statement of fact or belief / the action of stating something or exercising authority confidently and forcefully.

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For the 2nd paragraph:
I would change "On average" to "it is commonly held that"
In "globalization is more about cooperation as well as integration" because you said is more about there should be "than" replacing "as well as" because you are saying the this is more about this than that.
Consider replacing or taking out "indeed" idk if it is the best.
"On the contrary" sounds very formal, considering changing it to something less so, such as "on the other hand," or "alternatively."
When you say "nationalism stands" nationalism is a belief so I would change it to something like "nationalism advocates for"
"however" doesn't seem strong enough. It is giving the very unfortunate/bad results of taking nationalism too far. Consider a synonym
"It appears they are two opposite sides alike." It seems simple try drawing it out a little

heady nova
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can someone who is willing dm me to review an essay ive written?

wet elk
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We all dream to see the future, seeing how everything changes and evolves is breath taking, the amount of solutions to all sorts of problems, the future holds a huge amount of knowledge, thanks to advanced technology more than we could ever imagine. Developing new solutions for problems we are creating takes time, luckily, we have plenty of it in the future

First of all, future can reveal answers that were right next to our noses, we can improve fields by developing new fertilizers, we could start using bigger machines to mine resources from the earth's crust, finally we could try to make our whole planet eco-friendly, mostly by using new and safer sources of energy like wind, hydrogen or even fusion, providing cheap, clean and safe energy is our key to researching space

On the other hand, there will always be some problems that even in the future we won't be able to fix, most of them are caused by human emotions like envy or anger. These might lead world leaders to political conflicts or even war. Secondly, too much technology can make us lazy, for instance, if human has everything he needs right next to his nose, he wont do anything more than just sit out there and watch TV.

 In conclusion, future might hold huge benefits for us, but it also can bring us more problems, every choice we makes problems, but we dont know what should we do to prevent that, and we maybe never will. I think that we shouldnt focus on the future that much and focus on the things that are happening now.

Could someone please check this essay and see if its good? You can fix grammar but please tell me if you do, i need to learn it

wet elk
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@sage fractal could you please check this? i dont have much time

sage fractal
# wet elk <@974274817119367188> could you please check this? i dont have much time

Hello there, this is how I'd word it if I were you:

We all wish to see the future (Or We all dream of seeing the future) as seeing things change and evolve is breath taking.
Thanks to the advanced technology, the future holds a great amount of knowledge and will probably have the solutions to most of our problems; problems that'd take us long to solve, but luckily we'll have plenty of time in the future.

The future can bring the solutions (answers) that were right next to our noses, to our attention.
We'll be able to improve soil through developing new fertilizers, and can invent bigger/better machines to mine resources from the earth's crust.
We'll also put/place greater focus on making our environment more eco-friendly and attempt to provide the needed energy through newer, safer and cheaper sources of energy such as wind, hydrogen and fusion.
However, there will always be problems that we'll be unable to solve even in the future. Problems that are caused by human emotions such as anger or envy (Or Problems that are a result of human emotions such as anger or envy.) which can/might lead the world leaders to political conflicts and even wars.
We should also keep in mind that too much technology can promote laziness. If we have everything we need right next to us chances are, we won't do any more than just sitting or watching TV.

In conclusion, although the future can bring us great benefits it can also bring us more problems as every decision we make can lead to potential problems that we might never be able to solve. It's best to focus more on the present than the future.

But I'd suggest for a whole change to be made as I think it's jumping from one point to another and not exactly making the right connections
Or that's just my opinion 😄

sage fractal
heady nova
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is nobody willing to read over an essay???

heady nova
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like google docs?

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it’s two things that would have to be like looked atm

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ok

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THE RUBRIC
My teacher is a pretty rough grader, and kinda expects a lot because we had a intenvive writing class. I am a jr in hs. Heres the rubric so you know what the goal of the essay is

Length: 400 words or so

Alfred Hitchcock made two major changes to Robert Bloch’s Psycho when turning the novel into a movie. The first involved focusing the first half-hour of the film completely on Mary; the second was in re-conceptualizing the character of Norman as a young, attractive man. Your job in this short written response will be to discuss the effect of each of these alterations on the meaning and impact of the story. How does the first part of the story play differently when it is centered on Mary instead of Norman? How is this different from the effect of the first sections of the novel? And how does it impact the story to have Norman be a handsome, polite man in his 20s instead of the lumbering middle-aged alcoholic created by Bloch?
For this essay you should consider your audience to be people who have both read the novel and seen the film, but who have not thought about these issues in depth—they noticed the changes, of course, but have not analyzed them. That’s your job. Note that the point of this short essay is to describe the effect of the two versions, not to discuss which is “better.”
Your essay should include quotes from the book and/or film. (Hint: the most obvious choices here would be to quote from Bloch’s descriptions of Norman, in order to contrast them with a description of the Norman we see on screen.) When discussing a scene in the movie, use specific details. Screenshots are welcome.
This is a short response assignment, not a full essay, so there is no need for an extended introduction or conclusion (though you can write them if you want to). Your first sentence can directly state that Hitchcock made two major changes to Bloch’s book, and then head straight into a detailed discussion of those changes. Consider finishing the response with a sentence summarizing how the overall effect of the film is different (or perhaps not different?) from that of the novel.
The quality of your writing is paramount here. Be sure that your paragraphs are well-organized, with the sentences in the best order. Be sure the ideas are developed logically. Use transitions. Proofread. Quote. Make sure every sentence makes sense. Give your essay an appropriate title. (“Psycho Essay” is an assignment description, not a proper descriptive essay title.) Read your work aloud multiple times. Have someone else read it, as well. Details count in this final writing assignment!

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THE ESSAY

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Alfred Hitchcock, in his adaptation of Robert Bloch's "Psycho," made two significant changes that dramatically transformed the narrative's dynamics. The first was shifting the initial focus to Mary, and the second was reimagining Norman Bates as a young, attractive man rather than the middle-aged man.
Bloch's original novel dives early into Norman's troubled psyche, offering readers an insight into his unnerving dual personality. However, Hitchcock's award-winning adaptation deviates, focusing predominantly on Mary's narrative for the film's first half-hour. This decision by Hitchcock creates suspense by delaying the revelation of Norman's disturbing character, thereby intensifying the shock when the truth is unveiled. Moreover, this shift in focus allows Hitchcock to develop Mary's character further, creating a stronger emotional connection with the audience. This connection amplifies the impact of her untimely death, adding another layer of shock and horror to the narrative by making Mary the film's center. Hitchcock crafts a suspense rhythm distinct from Bloch's early exploration of Norman's psyche, demonstrating his unique approach to translating the novel to the screen. This approach keeps the audience engaged, constantly wondering about the looming mystery surrounding Norman while simultaneously fostering a deep concern for Mary's fate.
Robert Bloch's description of Norman as a middle-aged alcoholic significantly differs from Hitchcock's depiction of Norman as a young, polite, and attractive man. This reimagining adds a layer of normalcy to Norman's character, creating a disturbing dichotomy absent in Bloch's novel. Hitchcock's unexpected characterization of Norman amplifies the shock of the ultimate revelation of his deranged side. This divergence from the book is particularly striking as it presents Norman as an approachable and charming person. This dichotomy is further emphasized by the unsettling line from the film, “A boy's best friend is his mother,” a phrase that carries a chilling tone when uttered by the seemingly harmless Norman. The constant questioning of Norman's true nature thus forms an integral part of the suspense and horror in Hitchcock's adaptation, a less pronounced feature in Bloch's portrayal.

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ANY COMMENTS AND FEEDBACK!!

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DM OR PING ME

heady nova
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ok!

heady nova
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thank you!! all great info. I kinda struggle w like realizing and connecting with things.. would you be willing to go inside the google doc and point out where i can add meaning, so that its not only descriping the impact

candid kestrel
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When Ackley says “Boy, I can’t stand that sonuvabitch [sic] [Stratlater]”, Holden tries to appeal to Ackley’s pride: “He’s [Stratlater’s] crazy about you. He told me he thinks you’re a goddam [sic] prince”. (23). Is this correct in MLA format? The novel is catcher in the rye

median jacinth
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I would take out the sentence starting with "we would" because it's fine to segway immediately into the questions after saying we need more info. Other than that it looks fine.
Just a suggestioncat_Sip

median jacinth
median jacinth
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If no one gets to this I will later in my day bc will be in the car with no discord

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For the moment I have. Look up "banned words" in English. Such as like and a lot. And lookup when to use "are" and "is." And when you can replace nouns with pronouns. @heady nova

worldly notch
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Is anyone here onlline?

median jacinth
solemn olive
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Hi

worldly notch
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so anyone onlien

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plssssssssssssss

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sheeeeeeeeesh

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hello

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Report on my special person:

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Usually I end up having lot of mistakes so I may need help, I might find myself with lots of mistakes

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criteria: formal language and can't use happy/got/get/sad

safe rose
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@worldly notch send your work

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i’ll take a look

worldly notch
worldly notch
safe rose
worldly notch
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the length is like 6 paragraphs

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The special person we will discuss would be Elon Musk. He is an important special celebrity who has influenced and amazed me in life.

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Paragraph 2: At a young age, he was extremely talented in computers and entrepreneurships. Just at the age of 12 he developed his first own video game 'Blastar'.

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Paragraph 3: However, Elon Musk wasn't doing great during his childhood and had his own issues, at school Elon was often physically assaulted and bullied up to the point he blacked out and was hospitalized for a week.

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Paragraph 4:He also had a mentally abusive father, while Elon tried to maintain the hardships he was experiencing. Elon Musk was an enthusiastic learner, each day he would read a book as his hobby.

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Paragraph 5: As soon as Elon was old enough he left South Africa and settled in Canada for a while being homeless until he met his own brother which was where they would start their very first business Zip2, however the company resulted into being sold for $307 million meaning Elon and his brother made huge amounts of money which is quite impressive when it's just your first business.

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Paragraph 6: Elon is also the founder of both SpaceX and Tesla. He is the main reason for why Elon Musk is my favourite person as I plan to work for SpaceX and I have a preference of electric cars, especially Tesla since they invented the Cybertruck.

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Paragraph 7: Both I and Elon have 1 similar interest and that would be space, we also both agree that for our species to thrive we need to become muliplanetary.

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screw it i have tuition tommorow for this assignment, please feel free reviewing the paragraphs and it was actually intended to be 11 paragraphs

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and it's like late for me

safe rose
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your paragraphs have minor mistakes honestly. But i wouldn’t call them paragraphs because rather, they’re quite short sentences

worldly notch
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and it's no surprise since i'm at my prime with writing when it comes to fiction

safe rose
worldly notch
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so what are the minor mistakes

safe rose
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the majority of it looks fine

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Paragraph 2: At a young age, he was extremely talented in computers and entrepreneurships. Just At the age of 12 he developed his first own video game called 'Blastar'.

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Paragraph 3: However, Elon Musk wasn't doing great during his childhood and had his own issues, (replace the comma with a full-stop) at school Elon was often physically assaulted and bullied up to the point he blacked out and was hospitalized for a week.

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Paragraph 4:He also had a mentally abusive father, **(replace the comma with a full-stop)**while Elon tried to maintain the hardships he was experiencing. (Replace the full-stop with a comma) Elon Musk was an enthusiastic learner, **(Replace the comma with a full-stop)**each day he would read a book as his hobby.

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Paragraph 5: As soon as Elon was old enough (add comma) he left South Africa and settled in Canada for a while**.** being homeless He was homeless until he met his own brother which was where they would start their very first business called Zip2, (replace the comma with a full-stop) however the company resulted into being sold for $307 million meaning which meant that Elon and his brother made huge amounts of money**.**which This is quite impressive when it's just your first business.

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brb

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Paragraph 7: Both I and Elon Musk and I (I and Elon is not grammatically incorrect, but the it’s less common) have 1 one(when you write something formal, you should spell out the numbers) similar interest and that would be is space, (replace the comma with a full-stop) we also both agree that for our species to thrive we need to become muliplanetary.

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btw when you refer to someone e.g. Elon Musk, you can mention the full name once then just call them by their last names

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it’s a writing rule most people would follow

gentle stratus
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Beautiful but it is made to signal distress am I right?

finite stratus
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Thank you, now I know what I’m lacking in grammar. 🙏

finite stratus
gentle stratus
lofty quest
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Yes

finite stratus
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Hi, I appreciate your help But we need to take it down, can you please delete this message?

Thank you in advance 🙇

neon dragon
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No problem

fluid schooner
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Is there anyone available who would like to proofread my essay?

sudden hedge
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Could someone check my poem and see if there's any room for improvement please

Stand in a field of dandelions at night
Billowing winds hum to the drifting moon
They break loose the seeds with their gentle might
Yet afraid to frighten the dozing loon
Dandelions free into the wind they flow
To tell of the faith and fondness I sow

Though a perfect storm the sombre sky heralds
Doomed fate sealed by barbed wires and a curse
Torn tapestry patched and polished emeralds
Carved with your name that spells my life's verse
Windborne dandelions, the breeze a tempting lure
Wastelands barren but your tender kisses cure

median jacinth
sudden hedge
median jacinth
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I'll look into it over lunch

median jacinth
sudden hedge
median jacinth
sudden hedge
warm cliff
snow beacon
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Raisa, this is our school tour, we all will go, you won't go, tell me how it looks, this is the last tour of our school life, even if you want it later, you won't get it.

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is it sounds robotic?

chrome dragon
snow beacon
chrome dragon
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Does that make sense?

snow beacon
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yeah

eager cairn
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if you need proofreading and edit am here

icy silo
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Hey everyone ! I have recently started writing fiction. Started off with writing short stories from prompts. Should I post it here? Need feedback. Any constructive criticism (grammar, storyline, punctuation, vocab etc) is most welcome.

icy silo
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"What's this Avery? Not again!"

"Hurry up & drink it". She spoke in all seriousness.

"Omg! you and your stupid dessert quest!" Saying that, I started inspecting the crimson red semi fluid she gave me, in a tiny little bowl .

But abruptly holding my hand from the other side of the kitchen counter, discarding her previous command, she continued , "No, actually wait. Tell me how does this smell? Describe it's smell to me."

I was as usual indifferent, because I knew, all her efforts are in vain. Why so? Well, suffering from a rare genetic disorder is not easy. Due to the side effects of meds, I can't taste anything sweet. It's like I'm deprived of the sensation of sweetness. But she tries anything and everything to make my tastebuds work again. Apart from my family, she's the only one who knows all of this. Her will to help me amazes me. More than that, saying no to her is like a death wish. Trust me. I'd instead comply .

So I did my routine act of putting the bowl real close to my nose expecting the usual lack of sweet dessert aroma everyone talks abou---

"What the hell?! I can smell this?! Is this the sweet aroma you guys talk about?!" I screamed with joy , excitement , confusion and half a dozen other indescribable emotions.

"Avery I can't believe this! Omg Avery! how did you do it? You found the perfect dessert for me. You truly are the DESSERT PRINCESS." I tried to hold back my tears so I can thank her properly.

"Don't thank me just yet". She paused .

For a split second there was an expression on her face that didn't quite suit the moment . She should've been brimming with excitement, sporting that proud tinge. Afterall, her quest is complete . But she seemed a bit bothered.

And then in no time she commanded, "First taste it."

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"Say no more!" And just like that I gave in to the alluring aroma & started sipping the crimson red delight; as if my tongue had a mind of it's own , slowly savoring the taste . Leaving behind the previous thoughts, loosing into the new... more pleasureable ones; like how the initial contact overwhelmed my tastebuds with unique metallic tang. But soon after came the sweetness of fruits and the robustness of dark chocolate. The velvety texture here and there... it was pure magic, a pure bliss. But they ended soon;both- the red delight and the bliss when she demanded , "How's it? Do you like it?" with a failed attempt to hide the same expression she made a few minutes ago.

My hands were ready to write a whole essay on her dessert's greatness but, "it's good" was all that my mouth uttered seeing her panic struck face.

Putting the bowl down , I made my way to the other side of the counter , to ask the reason of her concern. But she backed off ... not intentionally but instinctively ...like a primal instinct.

"Avery! Why are you acting up all weird? Is something wrong?"

"Ethan ... I was right .." she paused before making the most ridiculous statement I've ever heard coming from her, " You're a vampire."

"What?! Are you out of your mind? Where did that come from?"

"What you just consumed ...was...blood."

"You done? Now drop the act 'cause I'm not in the mood for your silly little jokes."

"You said you have a genetic disorder, right? It makes you extremely weak in the summer , especially when you step outside in the sunlight. Isn't it?"

"That doesn't happen any mor---"

"Yes, because that's what your meds do to you. They are making you...human. Those injectables are for converting you from a vampire to almost like a human."

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I could only stand there and let her words pass through my ears. Couldn't believe the absurdity of her statements.

She added " a normal human would be repulsed at the smell and sight of blood. Especially that metallic tang you found so unique. But not you Ethan, not you. You found it sweet , alluring and what not.
This medicine, simply suppresses your tastebuds so that you don't crave blood & blow your cover. If it wasn't for the meds, you would have turned into a beast, a deranged blood thirsty creature. Aren't you already towards the end of your treatment. Just a year more right?"

I was standing there, completely blank. No words came to my rescue because what she said, unfortunately started making sense. I didn't tell her about the incident when I felt I hallucinated and couldn't see myself in the mirror, fearing she'll think I'm crazy. Could it be that I really didn't see myself ?Am I ...really a vampire?

I tried one last time to convince her and my own self .
" I can't be a vampire".
"Why?"
" Because..."
" 'cause ?"
" umm... 'cause..."
" 'cause what Ethan?"
" 'cause I don't have fangs. See? No fangs means no vampire "
"Hmmm..."
She had no comeback. Afterall I knew I'm not a vam--

" You visit dentist quite often don't you? "

"Yeah... Once in 2 months; for teeth whitening."

"Always the same dentist?"

"Right! She is pretty cute. Still Dental visits are nightmare with all those machines. So not to cause any trouble, everytime I'm drugged to unconsciousness and .."

"And...? What ?"

"And oh my God you are right! I never saw her actually whitening my teeth. So those dental trips are to keep my fangs in check?"

"Now we are talking, Mr. Vampire."
Well who could have thought, a dessert quest would leave me with an existential crisis and many unanswered questions.

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Prompt- A quest for the perfect dessert.

worldly notch
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May some proof read my work on keeping pets as an experince

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here:

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It's really a no mean feat if you're entirely responsible for being a pet owner and you lack responsibility,, luckily however my parents would be in charge of our pet even thought it should be my responsibility. I can still remember the hype I felt when dad planned we would get a dog for me.

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My parents unfortunately were sceptical about me since I must reduce my screentime and increase my interaction with the pup if I was really dedicated in having a dog. Once agreeing upon dad he would find a dog breed owner and buy his dogs.

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During lunch at school hanging out with my friends in the playgrounds on a Winter day, mum had sent a note to the office requesting an early pick up for me just so we would meet our new born Staffy pup. Driving to the breeder's shop that was close to a Macca's restaurant, equipped with dog food and toys, we straight went to the doleful eyed puppy and picked him up, hopping into the car to his new home.

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Arriving at out half owned house, the other being kept by another neighbour. My family unleashed our already given name by the original owner, 'Max'. He would sleep in a cage inside our garage during the night... that was when we saw Max's amok side. Through the night he kept howling like a Werewolf continously mourning his parent's absence which made me pity.

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Through the coming weeks ago. As Max developed his teeth he needed to chew things, so he would always gawp into my flesh unintentionally, eventually this bad habit which resulted in fleeing from Max died down.

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Now he has his own dog shed to sleep in the small backyard, a leash for walks and rarely rampages and ramming into an object. Max still resides with us.

heady nova
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Hey. Just wanted to let anyone know that if you need help with a paper or an essay that you’ve written, you can send me a dm and I’d be happy to read and correct anything!

winged berry
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The representation of women in sitcom’s highlights their role as being caretakers of both the house and children. This has been conveyed to us through the characterisation of Claire Dunphy in the family sitcom Modern Family through Claire’s dialogue and props. In the beginning of the film, Claire Dunphy is preparing breakfast for the kids as she yells out “Kids, Breakfast!” to call them over. Claires dialogue, shows how women are being represented as the primary caretaker of the house, and being naturally maternal in family sitcoms due to Claire being the one preparing the breakfast and meals for the children shows how in family sitcoms women are being represented as the typical housewife. In another scene, we are shown Claire holding the prop of a laundry basket multiple times, performing domestic tasks. Claire’s use of the prop shows how while she is in the house, indicates how she is being characterised further as being the domestic caretaker of the house and children, as she is the only one in these scenes that is performing a domestic task. Viewers are positioned to perceive the representation of women as caretakers of the house and children in sitcoms,

safe rose
winged berry
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the essay question was Consider the extent to which characterisation in one studied text has been used as a vehicle to explore ideas.

safe rose
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Alrighty

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@winged berry ya mind if I fix a few things in your paragraph and give overall feedback?

winged berry
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sure

safe rose
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The representation of women in sitcom’s highlights their role as being caretakers of both the house and children. This has been conveyed to us through the characterisation of Claire Dunphy in the family sitcom Modern Family through Claire’s dialogue and props. In the beginning of the film, Claire Dunphy is preparing breakfast for the kids**(full stop)** as she yells out She yells “Kids, Breakfast!” to call them over (removed comma) to accentuate Claires dialogue (removed comma) shows showing how women are being represented as the primary caretaker of the house, and being naturally maternal in family sitcoms due to Claire being the one preparing the breakfast and meals for the children . shows how Additionally, it highlights that in family (add comma) sitcoms women are being represented as the typical housewife. In another scene (need to add specific location), we are shown Claire holding holds the prop of a laundry basket multiple times, performing domestic tasks. Claire’s use of the prop shows how while she is in the house, indicates how she is being characterised further as being the domestic caretaker of the house and children, as she is the only one in these scenes that is performing a domestic task. Viewers are positioned to perceive the representation of women as caretakers of the house and children in sitcoms**.**

Overall a well written paragraph. However, you need to link back to the question. Typically, I don’t recommend saying things like “shows us” or “conveyed to us” in essays but I’m not sure how things work in your school since I assume you don’t have the rubric.

winged berry
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alright thank you