Omega Strikers Fan fiction!

[kind scaffold]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56916550/chapters/145633402

chapter twoooo

[winter haven]

YIPPEEEEE

[kind scaffold]

[severe stump]

YEEEEAHAHH IM SO EXCITED TO READ ARRGGGHH

[kind scaffold]

ty for being so excited I just had a rough couple hours so that makes me feel a lot better

[vagrant arch]

I crawl up to chat like a man without water in the desert

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46856002/chapters/146620468

It's been a rough few months ok

[kind scaffold]

AAAAAA HELL YES

[midnight berry]

hajimemashite update 👁️

[severe stump]

good cookage
stay strong

[vagrant arch]

[kind scaffold]

https://forms.gle/u7xbhhcYHyopCcSV8

hey writer friends please check out this Google form!!

[burnt cliff]

?

[kind scaffold]

zine uwu

[burnt cliff]

ohhhhh ok

[kind scaffold]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56916550/chapters/149307550 ignore that i didn't post chapter 3 in here

died 2024 revived 2024 welcome back os fanfic channel

[gloomy lantern]

FANFICS WOOOO

[winter haven]

YIPPEE

[prime totem]

@topaz zephyr nevermind. This is what you're looking for.

[topaz zephyr]

STOP OUTING ME LMFAO

so uhhhh

any kai fanfics bc im down horrendous

[gloomy lantern]

I am not sure

[winter haven]

pants has one with kai in it i think

collecting rainwater iirc

[topaz zephyr]

say lessssssss

[winter haven]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48186868/chapters/121514920

oops i said more

LOL

also the one they are working on rn has kai in it but he's a side character

also welcome to the server

[gloomy lantern]

Indeed welcome

It is a fun time here if I do say so myself

hop on over to the Headcanon's thread/chat if you just wanna ramble about your Favs for an indiscriminate amount of time

[kind scaffold]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52450891

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49533169

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48567625

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47404282

https://archiveofourown.org/works?commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search[sort_column]=revised_at&include_work_search[character_ids][]=92352211&work_search[other_tag_names]=&work_search[excluded_tag_names]=&work_search[crossover]=&work_search[complete]=&work_search[words_from]=&work_search[words_to]=&work_search[date_from]=&work_search[date_to]=&work_search[query]=&work_search[language_id]=&tag_id=Omega+Strikers+(Video+Game)

also kai tag search

[topaz zephyr]

tytyty

and tysm @kind scaffold !!

[kind scaffold]

[kind scaffold]

[winter haven]

pants i have a confession. thats the only one of your fics i haven't actually read

[gloomy lantern]

Pants is the main writer person here (I think)

[winter haven]

active person yea i'd say so

[kind scaffold]

you havent read cr?

[winter haven]

nop

[kind scaffold]

i wouldnt say main writer

but i am probably the most prominent one cuz i talk about it a lot and post new chapters everywhere

[kind scaffold]

[gloomy lantern]

I did a writing once and kinda... Abandoned it halfway through

[kind scaffold]

writeeeee

[gloomy lantern]

This is the fic in question, kindly enjoy the unfinished Finii fic https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JXsfmHwmlHrbmLqEFfztYJbrrBb7GD9LIEd38EN6QUY/edit?usp=sharing

[kind scaffold]

[gloomy lantern]

I havent read it myself in a fair while so its probably not the best ignoring the obvious cutoff of when I stopped writing

[kind scaffold]

you got thiiissss

you can reread it and take notes with new eyes

[winter haven]

me rereading my gala fic and realizing i have to rewrite all of Mako’s dialogue

(i wrote her bad )

[kind scaffold]

:o

did I read that

I don't recall

post it after you rewrite it zelf

let the world see

[winter haven]

idk if i ever posted it after i added onto it

like in here i mean. cuz i put the little one shot beginning thing in thunderstruck channel

[kind scaffold]

zelf ao3

[winter haven]

edited the first 4 pages

6 pages to go and then i can continue it

[glossy kettle]

Something something your own work is always worse on the re-read than you remember it.

Also hi. I haven’t been in this corner for a while. Had a big project I was super focused on and kinda just fell off the writing wagon. Wanna try and get back into it soon though!

[kind scaffold]

hewwo

[winter haven]

wb mr pig!!

[midnight berry]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UYwYR0kHTNe2ERcwJpP9GvkSfzLiklEpmEyVzJ6NtEE/edit?usp=sharing
@tall haven in particular because you enjoyed the initial concept

[tall haven]

LETS GOOOOOO

[midnight berry]

something subtle i'm trying with my writing is to keep anything from Luna's(-ish) perspective in present tense and Atlas'(-ish) perspective past tense

but also i have a really bad case of tense mixing so

[tall haven]

I love this so much you characterised them both so well
I like how Luna’s described as blunt and didn’t really understand a social cue at the beginning, I see it as autism-coding even if you didn’t mean it as such

Also the whole thing with the spotlight makes me think of those two on an episode of Hot Ones

Also Luna’s whole thing with probability is very her

[midnight berry]

it is intended as autism-coding yeah i tried to keep luna in character as playing odds and making constant theories and observations, while finii is leaning towards social reads and deception

[tall haven]

Luna ‘tism lets goooo

And you did really well with the character themes!

[midnight berry]

thank you! it's fun for me to get into a character's head to think about how they'd think

[midnight berry]

oh i should probably post this to ao3 huh

[kind scaffold]

👀

[kind scaffold]

yes please

[midnight berry]

way ahead of you https://archiveofourown.org/works/59121307

[kind scaffold]

YAAAA

[plain quartz]

THE FANFICS ARE REAALLLLLLLLLLL

[burnt cliff]

Oh hey

I was wondering where this chat went

[kind scaffold]

I love fics

[burnt cliff]

Any recommendations

[kind scaffold]

#1114350053046374430 message here's some Kai specific ones at least

[burnt cliff]

Oh Ty

[crimson summit]

I am cooking up some byte breakers stuff. Got inspired tonight and ended up writing four paragraphs. Will keep going potentially, so

[winter haven]

[kind scaffold]

YAAAA

[neat halo]

I STILL need to finish my BB fic my goodness probably going to have to rewrite it or do something different w it entirely ngl, its been like a year

[midnight berry]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QQf0JT7m5B4PziTL5S0M0XOSbo62-4e-ARGNc0-hN5o/edit?usp=sharing
currently a wip/chapter 1, not sure which.
glitterbomb (finii/luna), i am looking at my blorbo and taking the light from her eyes (and giving it back later but i haven't gotten there yet)

[kind scaffold]

kill your darlings

[maiden sorrel]

Finii messing with the furniture is adorable

I like their internet names too

[midnight berry]

ty! i figured she'd constantly be pulling something, and a rampant glitter infection seems in-character

[glossy kettle]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60586414
https://archiveofourown.org/works/60590233

Hey everyone, I finally posted the two OS works I've made to that one site everyone keeps talking about! I've got links to the both of them (Kai Dad and Datablade focus respectively) here if you either haven't seen them before, or want to read either one again.

Additionally I've also finished up a third work for the occasion, and it's more than the length of my previous two combined! This one primarily involves Kai's Father, but also gives time to other characters as well. With the objective being shedding some light on older history from prior to the game's events. (Older history which I've completely made up, but hopefully doesn't feel wrong in connection to canon)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/60590887

Specifically the whole crew of team Maelstrom (Atlas, Drek'ar, and Rune) as well as Kai himself get some screen time in this last fic. Drek'ar in particular was really fun to write a scene with!

[kind scaffold]

[winter haven]

THEYRE PEAK

i especially love how you wrote drekar

very cute and good

i wish i could finish any of my damn fics but i think i’m too embarrassed to share them anyway. gr

you write everyone so well it’s like. :AiMiBroken:

[kind scaffold]

pls finish and post your fics zelf i will CHAMPION you

[glossy kettle]

So glad you enjoyed that bit! It was one of my favorites to write as I mentioned. I need to add "Drek'ar gets a Pen Pal" to my list of fic ideas, because I just realized it's somehow not on there yet after writing that segment.

Also I feel you on getting nervous about posting things. The abomination I'm replying to with this message was my first message in this channel. The first step to improving your work is sharing it with others, and sharing what you've made can definitely help encourage you to work on more stuff!

[kind scaffold]

nod nod nod

[winter haven]

i’m just scared i write the characters bad and ppl will riot bc i mischaracterized their fave

[kind scaffold]

let them riot

you write the characters the best you can

[glossy kettle]

See the trick is that's just called feedback (if they're full on rioting it's a little mean spirited, but it's still feedback), and it's better that you shared and found out what your mistake was than never shared and never learned. That and people aren't gonna riot because frankly from my experience that's just not the kind of people you find around here.

[winter haven]

i suppose……..

i am not perfect on my FIRST TRY????? i don’t want it /j

/hj

[obtuse kraken]

nuh uh

[winter haven]

fym nuh uh /ref

[obtuse kraken]

[glossy kettle]

Hello OS Fanfic chat. It is once again the most wonderful time of the year as of approximately one hour ago. Now I dunno about y'all, but I think the Omega Strikers cast could use some good old fashioned Christmas cheer, and I intend to write something for that explicit purpose!

I have concocted a flawless plan to forward this agenda and make sure I actually finish it.

That being telling all of you I'm doing it.

[winter haven]

YAAA

[glossy kettle]

AND

Spinning a funny wheel to figure out the subject

[winter haven]

omg

can you spin one for me too and i'll draw it

[glossy kettle]

Aight, looks like my assignment this year will be...

Oh there's too many options. This is gonna be good.

[glossy kettle]

Here ya go!

I am now trying to mentally seperate who on the cast is a figure skater and who is a hockey player

[kind scaffold]

sports? mako

[glossy kettle]

If I hit Skates & Sports I was totally writing about Estelle on some figure skates. I've wanted to write her for a while, but have always struggled for settings, so I might actually hit that idea if I wrap up my assigned one before the season's out.

[kind scaffold]

yus

[fickle linden]

I started a fanfiction of what could happen with Zentaro and his parents, but it’s been on the back burner due to work, college, and just overall laziness.

It’s far from finished but if anyone wants to see it, I can share

[kind scaffold]

:o

[gaunt nova]

Same I wanna start writing again

[fickle linden]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1esHwQM1VvYLE4N81c1MsIaHxjLr4gHgkAVw77OW6IzU/edit

[fickle linden]

If anyone read the small amount there is, tell me what’s good or what’s bad.

[vital basin]

i feel like its pretty good, and i dont see any actual issues except maybe pacing on the second page? try splitting the paragraphs a bit, makes it easier on the eyes. for example, after "---then to hell with the infant!” i feel like instead of simply continuing with 'The message tore---',

do this, yknow? split up the paragraph into 2 or more. though it may just be my personal preference in reading, so id get opinions from more people about it

[fickle linden]

I see what you mean. The paragraph is a bit cluttered.

[kind scaffold]

try imagining paragraphs like shots in a movie, and every time the camera cuts a new paragraph/line starts

it's a good way imo to keep a good readable pace

and always start a new line when someone new is speaking

[fickle linden]

I think that’s pretty common for books, so I don’t get why I’m not doing that.

I also feel like I’m trying too hard with show don’t tell but I don’t know since it’s hard for me to differentiate.

[kind scaffold]

it's never a bad idea to make sure things are clear to the reader imo

even if it could lessen the experience, i think a clearer one is better if you can't figure out how to show vs tell

but that's also kinda a rule that's more or less up to the writer or reader

some people pick up on stuff easier than others

[midnight berry]

some people are oblivious and some people read into the color of curtains way too much

my rule of thumb is write how i'd like to read

[glossy kettle]

Hey Everyone! I just finished the first of my prompted Christmas writing projects! This one focused primarily on Luna and Drek'ar. It's the shortest work I've written though that's in part because I have two other pieces also tangentially related to the prompt that I was inspired to work on and am working on finishing over the next few days. Hopefully I'll have those out soon, but I wanted to post what I already had finished because I could. The prompt in question is "Wrapping"

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61237501/chapters/156498547

Those who know me will also know that 10 days is miraculously fast turnaround by my standards, so if anything seems off or there's some dumb typos do let me know! (Especially the typos) I'd like to get any of that fixed ASAP.

Oh uhh @frail root would probably bug me if I didn't do this so I'll do it. (If anyone else wants me to ping them when I finish stuff let me know and I'll make a list or something.

[frail root]

[kind scaffold]

[winter haven]

YIPPEE

[glossy kettle]

Guess who's back. Back again? Hope y'all aren't tired of reading my stuff because I've got chapter 2 complete. This one stars Kai and Era (took me long enough to write these dorks), and it was a ton of fun to work on! It definitely wound up a bit longer than I anticipated at the outset, but I'm definitely not complaining so I hope you guys aren't either! In all seriousness I'll gladly take any feedback given, as with all of my works there's a number of segments I was back and forth about.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61237501/chapters/156704680

@frail root I did it again

[fickle linden]

Alright, I’ve added some more to the story I’ve been working on. If anyone wants to take a look and tell me about what they think.

[kind scaffold]

[frail root]

a hexflame fic with a confident era.. never thought I’d see the day

This is the dialogue I long to see

Sob

[kind scaffold]

super duper cute I love it a lot so far. only some minor comments like making sure to make a new line when a new character is talking. I would also point out ai.mi saying "Jesus" is a bit jarring to me.

Zentaro flashed a smile for a second, only to space out once again. “Hey, what’s the matter Zentaro?” Finii questioned.

should be formatted like this:

`Zentaro flashed a smile for a second, only to space out once again.

“Hey, what’s the matter Zentaro?” Finii questioned.`

this makes it a lot easier for the reader to parse when the focus is changing between which character is acting/who is the focus

but overall I love your word choice it's super unique!

side note I think AI.mi would not be patient enough to wait 15 minutes for someone to be ready for something. that said, it is zentaro so I think she has a lot of patience with him due to their closer relationship. double side note, ai.mi does have cat ears and cats have a great sense of hearing. THAT SAID rabbits are pretty quiet so I'm not sure how that all works out if cats can normally hear rabbits or whatev

[fickle linden]

Counter argument, this is Finii we’re talking about. A girl who uses trickery to do everything. And she is able to just disappear into her hat no problem.

[kind scaffold]

also works

[balmy wind]

Zamn yall giving me the confidence to post my Alaska fics

[vital basin]

where they at

[fickle linden]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1esHwQM1VvYLE4N81c1MsIaHxjLr4gHgkAVw77OW6IzU/edit?tab=t.0 Made some changes, some big, some small, and added a new section. Would like some feedback on the new section especially

Mainly just want to know if the new section is too small and could use some more paragraphs

[glossy kettle]

Belated Merry Christmas y’all! I was hoping to have chapter 3 done by now, but I’ve been traveling to see family which already left me busy, and if that wasn’t enough I actually got hit by an illness while on the road.

Suffice to say I haven’t been able to do much writing as a result. Hopefully I can have it wrapped up and out the door before the year’s out.

[kind scaffold]

feel better soon friend

[fickle linden]

Ok I’m probably gonna sound like an impatient person for saying this, but has anyone read the new paragraph? I just want some feedback.

[glossy kettle]

No worries, I’d feel the same in your shoes! I’ve been meaning to give it a read, and I will once I’ve got more than a moment spare.

[vital basin]

i feel like my feedback hasnt changed much since last time, the paragraphs are a bit crammed and sometimes i cant tell when someone starts speaking because of the flow of the other part of the sentence. but other than that, id say you did a good job, and i do like where the story is headed

[kind scaffold]

oops I didn't notice the message sorry

[kind scaffold]

I think it's good so far, love the descriptions and I love the transition between the parts

[kind scaffold]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56916550/chapters/157777423 middle aged yuri...

[winter haven]

https://tenor.com/view/konata-konata-izumi-yipee-woo-yea-gif-14442947179583214409

[tall haven]

Luna and Atlas content

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j8HDv2u8WUtRku9tOpuAn2a_9fkbAo7RHqeVujhXA2g/edit?usp=sharing

[winter haven]

da siblings..

will read when i am more awake

[kind scaffold]

ROX FIC!!

[rapid otter]

[gloomy lantern]

[rapid otter]

i should write a fanfic again one day

[rapid otter]

for now heres an old fic i wrote about Ai.mi and Rune
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Cj7qeQoo35iv-jBZDI_8EnJyQOVOhPhypSKd976D7hQ/edit?usp=sharing

[burnt cliff]

Ooo

[kind scaffold]

[severe stump]

(sorry for ping reply)

[rapid otter]

all good no worries!

[fickle linden]

I did another part. It's the longest one I've done so I'd like some critique on what I could do differently or If it's great.

It took a while to make because describing stuff is still hard with a somewhat limited vocabulary.

[kind scaffold]

👀

[fickle linden]

You may cry.

[kind scaffold]

👀

repost for us?

[fickle linden]

Can’t

It’s not that far up the chat log

[kind scaffold]

I'll take your word for it and check tomorrow if I remember

[fickle linden]

Oh now it works. Ok

[fickle linden]

Nevermind

[fickle linden]

Sorry I’m trying but I don’t get why I can’t post the link.

[drifting eagle]

ur too new to the server, you need to level up

[fickle linden]

Alright

[kind scaffold]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62053270 little short story about juliera (also kai but mostly juliera cuz im biased) and juliette is a web slinging super hero!!! inspired by @tall trout

EMBED YOU FUCK

[tall trout]

:D

[subtle bridge]

not made by me sorry chat ill write a fic in 6 years from now /silly but i came across this and its rlly sweet and made me cry a tear or two https://archiveofourown.org/works/51300817

• it has rasmus in it

[kind scaffold]

discord EMBED

[subtle bridge]

discord L

[kind scaffold]

at least it's not just me but I will eat this

[tall trout]

mwahaha…

[kind scaffold]

OH I JUST NOTICED THE BIG STRETCHY HAND

these mfers going all out to save era from simply tripping

/silly

[obtuse kraken]

she's worth it

[kind scaffold]

TRUE

[drifting eagle]

heheheha I cannot sleep

So here's a short story. Asher x Atlas Angst. Ashlas Angst. Aslasngst.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iYNmIMuBnNWduCSanvWsx9WcODzZ_UuOCYNfcux8ERI/edit?usp=sharing

[tight fiber]

omg

[tight fiber]

[tight fiber]

wait did Kai fling cars in the air

😭

[winter haven]

omg surplus writing joyous day

[tall trout]

nah, cars can fly in the omst universe :3 you can also see the corestrike arena up there

[kind scaffold]

👀

[tight fiber]

I thought that was an explosion 😭😭😭

[lofty hemlock]

DID SOMEONE MENTION TIME?!

[kind scaffold]

https://youtu.be/McJsYJ-TjKs new shaelin vid dropped lets go

[kind scaffold]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56916550/chapters/160428880 wawa fluffums chapterrrrr

[winter haven]

[severe stump]

AWWW YEAHYY

[young vessel]

daily reminder to love Era

[kind scaffold]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56916550/chapters/162345262 less fluff.

[severe stump]

always excited to read a new chapter of anything of your stuff

[tall trout]

this is so unrelated but is that an I Love Amy pfp...

[tall trout]

also YAAAY NLOTH PEAK

[severe stump]

maybe i love ila so much

[kind scaffold]

[kind scaffold]

omg i also love that pfp

what is this

[severe stump]

i love amy

its a yuri manhwa

[kind scaffold]

tell me more

[severe stump]

basically theres this yandere girl who likes this boy

then she spots this other girl next to him and shes like "grr get away from my man"

but then they actually get along

[kind scaffold]

👀

[severe stump]

and you probably know what happens next

[kind scaffold]

give

[severe stump]

dw very healthy relationship

[kind scaffold]

awwwww /j

[severe stump]

LMAOO

[tall trout]

i love i love amy <33

[severe stump]

https://mangadex.org/title/52ab10b8-d539-4839-9b31-7937fb08c813/i-love-amy

same

[kind scaffold]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/1141786586405687367.webp?size=48&name=EraSwoon

[winter haven]

ITS PEAK

[burnt cliff]

Ah yes

More ppl need to read it Fr

[severe stump]

so i finally got around to reading this

poor eraw

why did obscura have to interrupt their nice walk

[fickle linden]

Because Obscura does what Obscura wants

[severe stump]

why

does it be mean

btw i have a few questions...

1. when did era and nao learn sign language

2. how will romance tie into the story with the whole obscura thing going on?

3. is kazan going to come later in the fic... my child... my baby...

HE'S FINALLY GONNA BE IN A FIC AFTER 2 MONTHS!!!!!

[winter haven]

tbh i think he and his sister probably left and went somewhere far away after rasmus got arrested trying to start a new life and whatnot

what’s the point of getting his sister back if he immediately gets arrested for the murder of who knows how many people yk

[severe stump]

yeah same thats a hc of mine! after getting his sister back he just wants to start all over again

[severe stump]

technically rasmus made him do it...

wait what if he starts a business with his sister... that would be so cute...

[winter haven]

true, though he still probably wouldn’t get off scot free unfortunately maybe a lesser sentence? not really sure how that all would work

[winter haven]

what kind of business would they run

[winter haven]

also @kind scaffold

[severe stump]

hopefully

he GETS THERAPY

he deserves better even if i like my child edgy and depressed

[severe stump]

thats the thing... idk, maybe something related to calligraphy or an interest they share together?

[kind scaffold]

1. i hc that sign language is universally taught in pretty much any "utopic" setting. it just makes sense and it's easy to learn and use
2. tags are always a good refresher :3 it's hurt/comfort after all
3. 

sorry didnt see this it's been an insane morning

[severe stump]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/964748233278652446.gif?quality=lossless

[winter haven]

good news

he has a chance if he gets found

[severe stump]

he wont go to prison!!

btw where did you get this from?

[vital basin]

guys do we know kazans sisters name? i need it for some cookery

[severe stump]

nope

not to my knowledge she doesnt have a canon name

[vital basin]

ill just have to make do without

[severe stump]

🤨

what are you cooking

[vital basin]

either a five course meal or burnt cookies

will update in a few days

[severe stump]

im scared

what if its an eltritch abomination

[winter haven]

erm. reddit

[vital basin]

you better be.

[winter haven]

but it’s also here https://www.justia.com/criminal/defenses/duress/#:~:text=Duress is generally not a,a sufficient excuse for homicide.

[severe stump]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/964748233278652446.gif?quality=lossless

[kind scaffold]

i just use hb's hc for kazan's sister

who is named kagame

[winter haven]

more like peakame

[vital basin]

yeah i was just gonna use either that or make one up myself

was worth asking tho cuz i wasnt sure if we ever found out the canon one

[winter haven]

LMAO PANTS WHATS WITH THE

[severe stump]

i name her kaede because i hc her as having a love for flowers

and i wanted to keep the first letters of their names the same

[kind scaffold]

i have plans okay

[severe stump]

[winter haven]

[kind scaffold]

just so you know the next chapter is the last one

[winter haven]

REALLY???

[severe stump]

yeah

[kind scaffold]

says so on the ao3 page

[severe stump]

it says 7/8

[vital basin]

-# i was just gonna name her kaniri

[winter haven]

[kind scaffold]

dw tho

[severe stump]

[kind scaffold]

it may be the last chapter but it will not be the last of the them

[severe stump]

is it a long one?

[kind scaffold]

lemme check the draft

5744 words rn

will likely shrink with editing

but not much

really just depends on what all needs to change or not

[severe stump]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/1030986864024367124.gif?v=1

[tall trout]

i mean he did also like ruthlessly injure if not kill those bullies one time and presumably had a pattern of violence AFTER that that was uncontrolled by rasmus so. its a bit of a tricky situation 😭

[glossy kettle]

keyword there is "standard sentencing", implying there would still be a sentence with some amount of punishment. It would genuinely be a miscarriage of justice for Kazan to get off without some amount of jail time or punishment. Under duress or no he ultimately followed through on committing those crimes, and murder is a pretty big deal.

[winter haven]

erm. plead insanity?

i kinda forgot about that yeah

[tall trout]

condemn him to the infiiiiirmaryyyy

[severe stump]

so he is going to prison...

[kind scaffold]

there are many outcomes

[severe stump]

yeah

one of which is him going to prison

[fickle linden]

Or getting executed

[vital basin]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63433213 nvm i did it early apologies in advance

[kind scaffold]

YAAAA

[vital basin]

we all love a bit of depression

[winter haven]

well written depression at that

[severe stump]

LOL when i first read this i didnt access discord so i thought it was a completely different project

i only realized when i recognized kazan's sister's name

very good

[vital basin]

thank you thank you

[severe stump]

[kind scaffold]

[vital basin]

Who's ready for more depression soon(ish)?

[kind scaffold]

yes

I mean no but yes

[severe stump]

depression!

[burnt cliff]

What

[tall haven]

Ai.Mi and Juno story

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1f6P1HQMdzcfdOn64xQFULfckSfUJTOLbARKKrirkKIk/edit?usp=sharing

[kind scaffold]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ao3 when.........

[tall haven]

Idk I’m scared when it comes to new socials

[kind scaffold]

you will pop offfff

[vital basin]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64160716

[kind scaffold]

oh shi

[glossy kettle]

Quality depression. Thank you for your services.

[vital basin]

[glossy kettle]

Happy New Year everyone! The final chapter of my Christmas writing challenge is up- wait I'm over 3 months late. Heck
https://archiveofourown.org/works/61237501/chapters/164839327

@frail root You still want pings for this stuff?

Anyways enjoy Finii learning how to wrap stuff, and her butler being a cool and helpful guy. Also another character gets some screentime at the end... Who could it be?

[winter haven]

[kind scaffold]

👀

[obtuse kraken]

Mr Pig the goat, ||always finding and illuminating the areas of lore left unexplored||

[frail root]

I have notifications on for you haha

[glossy kettle]

Duly noted

[glossy kettle]

Happy Birthday Mako!!!! I finished it* and I finished it on time**
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64360237/chapters/165223060

*I did not actually finish it, I only got half of it done and split it into two chapters, but I think it's gonna read better that way anyhow
**It's only still Mako's Birthday in US West time and earlier... I am US East.

That disclaimer aside, enjoy a bunch of friendly antics and banter starring:
Mako, Vyce, Octavia, Kai, and X

Side note I may have rushed my detailing in a couple of the dialogue sequences, so let me know if there's a place where you're having trouble tracking who is speaking please! I'd like to fix that issue if it's at all present.

Anyways I'm going to sleep now, good night.

[obtuse kraken]

@winter haven is for you :3c

[winter haven]

YAAAAAAAAA

[winter haven]

https://tenor.com/view/fire-writing-writing-fire-his-writing-is-fire-is-this-fire-hold-up-gif-15400153686296022809

MR PIG AT IT AGAIN WITH THE PEAK!!!!

eheheheheehehehhe

octavia making vyce pay for the number is SO FUNNY

also the title blazing bass goes insanely hard

like INSANELY hard

[glossy kettle]

Honor to serve.

[glossy kettle]

I had a smile on my face writing that segment. Half of it was trying to figure out who would be more in-character instigating it honestly. Still not sure if Octavia is the correct pick on that, but Vyce unquestionably produces the better reaction as the victim of it.

[kind scaffold]

omg

[frail root]

Heh.

[kind scaffold]

omg

[glossy kettle]

So funny story, I wrote that line in last September.

Somehow it aged into being a more fitting reference since then.

So uhh we take those!

[kind scaffold]

SEPTEMBER?

[glossy kettle]

Yea…

I may or may not have only figured that out because I shared a piece of this one in #1157809312706596975 back in mid October.

Suffice to say it’s been in the works on and off for a long time, which goes for a lot of my writing.

I tend to bounce around a bunch, which isn’t ideal for finishing things.

[kind scaffold]

same

[frail root]

Oh no I totally get you, I’m exactly the same—except for the fact I usually don’t finish my stories

I’m a readers worst nightmare

[kind scaffold]

finally finished thanks to my betas and also my therapist :>

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56916550/chapters/166863343

[winter haven]

https://tenor.com/view/sextou-bom-dia-gif-1471578320372430456

YIPPEEEEE

[burnt cliff]

[kind scaffold]

https://www.paperdemon.com/app/g/pdarpg/events/view/994/immediate-action-required-your-art-and-writing-has-been-scraped-and-published-in-an-ai-dataset/1

[winter haven]

[kind scaffold]

[kind scaffold]

peeks

@winter haven @tall trout

heyyyyyy

[winter haven]

bwuh

oh

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66770536

[tall trout]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66777598

[kind scaffold]

RAAAAAAAAA

[tall trout]

haiii

[kind scaffold]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[glossy kettle]

After what has been far too long I've finished another project. Have a read about Clarion Corp.! I think the summary speaks to the dynamic well enough.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/68316726/chapters/176778526#workskin

I uhh, can't remember who all was in ye olde Clarion fan club back in the day, but consider this my long overdue contribution to that crowd.

[glossy kettle]

Side note, does Kazan's sister have a canon name? I couldn't find one, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's out there.

Will update the tags accordingly if there is one.

[kind scaffold]

she doesnt have a canon name but hbcat calls her kagame

@subtle bridge clarion fic

[subtle bridge]

OH OH OH

how much rasmus is in it

[glossy kettle]

Rasmus is the perspective character for nearly the entirety of the first chapter, and is present in every scene within that chapter (which is also like 2/3rds of the work as a whole.

So a lot.

[subtle bridge]

YAYYY

I CAN FINALLY EATT

THANK YOU MRPIG

[glossy kettle]

Honor to serve.

[fickle linden]

I tried to find this channel but couldn’t until I got a notification, so apologies. I finally finished my Zentaro story https://archiveofourown.org/works/67328701

[kind scaffold]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[fickle linden]

So? Any feedback?

[kind scaffold]

i have not gotten around to reading it unfortunately....

[glossy kettle]

What sort of feedback are you after? I'm a big over-analyzer type. While I'd love to give some detailed critique on writing structure, dialogue, and that sort of thing, I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. Been reading through your fic and jotting down some notes in between some OS matches actually!

I really love the concept of exploring this sort of post-canon era of Byte Breakers as a team after a big placement in the most recent Pro League season, and capping it off with a reuinion between Zentaro and his parents to see how he's changed in all of that time is a really strong premise.

[fickle linden]

Just what you thought was done well, what you thought could be better, if sentences feel right and if I understand who I’m writing about.

I want to do better. And I can’t do better if I’m coddled.

[glossy kettle]

I think the first thing I want to compliment is your macro regarding scene structure. You have really good ideas for creating impactful scenes that help portray the characters at their strongest. A lot of the ideas are really effective at putting the cast in situations that allow them to express themselves in a way that's entertaining and/or draws emotion out of your reader. In writing you can turn most settings into effective scenes, but you're showing a lot of skill in picking scenarios that play into what you're trying to evoke well. That's not something that comes naturally to a lot of people.

The ending scene is probably where you accomplish this best, as you deliberately delay the reunion in a way that helps build tension and works effectively to drive the payoff home.

Your scene splits are also well placed, there isn't really any point where a scene ends and I'm left going "oh that's it?". Beginning and ending scenes can often be a struggle for people, but you handle it quite well.

I'll also use that comment as a way to pivot over to formatting. Your dialogue is incorrectly formatted, and it can make it hard to read at times. When switching to a new speaker, make sure to place a gap in between the two lines.

As you've written it the text will usually flow as.
"Hi, I'm Ai.Mi!"
"Hey there, names Juliette."

vs.

"Hi, I'm Estelle!"

"Hey there, names Zentaro."

While they look similar in this example, once you make the lines longer and add more descriptive text between the dialogue, it'll start to get really crowded. This is something that's easy to miss when reading through your own work as you already know who's supposed to be speaking on what line. This both makes it important to remember, and easy to forget!

As for the text itself, I think the main piece that could use improvement here is some of the wording choices in your dialogue. There's some points where what the characters are saying while fine grammatically doesn't come out as a proper speaking line very well. This is something I struggle with a lot myself, and the best remedy for it is reading your dialogue out loud.

A lot of the time dialogue errors can feel super nitpicky, but ultimately dialogue comprises the core of how characters interact. As a result even small differences matter both for what you write and how your readers percieve it.

To give in example, from scene 4 of your fic

Ito's line "Generations of fear mongering has clouded the minds of the foolish. Yet perhaps I’m the fool for taking a step towards peace.” (this line goes really hard btw) is followed by Ayuki replying:

“Forgive me Ito. I never thought of it that way.” In this context it can feel like Ito's wife is talking past him. In other words her response doesn't directly correlate to his words enough to make plausible conversation.

In the broader context of Ito's speech as a whole, Ayuki's line is there to portray that she hadn't considered Ito's perspective of leaving the village being abandoning the chance to correct their neighbor's perspective of their son, and oni as a whole. That concept absolutely can work, but since Ito's speech ends mourning the futility of his work (see the above line), his wife empathizing with the prospect of leaving it behind doesn't make much sense. If Ito ended the speech wishing he had more time to try and convince his neighbors instead, then the line would work more effectively.

Like I said before, it's small stuff. All the same, a novel is but a collection of small words.

[glossy kettle]

I think the last thing I'll bring up is that scene setup does have consequences. This was only really a relevant issue for your last scene, but since the last scene is your all important payoff beat I think it's important to bring up. (I'll be putting the rest in spoiler text for the benefit of those who haven't read it yet, because it's a really nice scene, and you otherwise did really good with it)

||You set the stage with Zentaro's parents arriving in Ahten and searching for him. This actually presents an issue immediately. How so? Because Zentaro bought his parents the tickets to Ahten, so is it not logical that he would purchase tickets with an arrival time where he could meet them getting off? The answers to this question within the fic as written are either

A: Zentaro doesn't care that much about meeting his parents when they arrive

B: Ai.Mi is not great at helping purchase tickets

C: He forgot

D: Probably something else, but I think I've made my point by now.

None of these are good answers as every single one either negatively impacts Zentaro or Ai.Mi in some way as a character implicitly. Fortunately the fix to this is a simple throwaway line about the boat getting delayed coming in, and the Corestrike Round Robin naturally overlapping with the resulting arrival time. In the end it's not a deal breaker for your scene, but I'm using it to help point out that it's important to keep in mind what causes your scene to exist, how the characters relate to those causes, and how those actions implicitly inform your reader about your characters. It's a principle more often applicable to film, but it's relevant here as well.||

^ This stuff is super niche, but I'm nothing if not thorough.

[vital basin]

i might just be nitpicking here but formatting like this seems really hard on my eyes, its just hard on my brain to keep track of where im at and whats going on. especially if i wanna go back and read a sentence again or something, im gonna be completely lost cuz i have no "save point" to go back to

imo instead of having something like

'the boy was running down the stairs. he tripped, clearly not putting to use the advice his parents have given him time and time again.
yet, uncaring, he simply got back up, continuing his sprint as he flew past the steps'

'the boy was running down the stairs. he tripped, clearly not putting to use the advice his parents have given him time and time again.

yet, uncaring, he simply got back up, continuing his sprint as he flew past the steps'

you can do that

again might just be a preference thing on my part but im just throwing it out there the part right above this, the letter, was formatted great imo

[fickle linden]

I see. Thanks for all the advice and feedback. It really means a lot for you guys to give me some pointers and how I should improve, and it’s great to know that I did stuff well. I get very self conscious about sharing my ideas and think that at worst it’s just eh and at best ok.

I just really wanted to make a story that feels like it could actually be canon. Not something just to satisfy my pleasures. And maybe that’s just my perspective on writing fanfiction as a whole.

[vital basin]

you did great, it was a lovely read

[glossy kettle]

That's a sentiment I absolutely share in. I think it's an incredibly valuable perspective to hold when approaching other people's work. Which ultimately fanfiction is to a degree the adaptation of another's creation into one's own pen.

That's not to hate on things like headcanon (Lord knows I would be a hypocrite for implying something of the sort), but trying to evoke the spirit of the original material is key to making it feel authentic. If you're trying to make something that's wholly "your own thing" fanfiction is probably not the best medium for such an endeavor.

[kind scaffold]

seeing all this is amazing, funnily enough i JUST came across a fic that has a similar formatting issue with the lines not being broken up

but yeah everything mrpig said

10/10 advice and feedback

[fickle linden]

AO3 is some BS. I had thoughts and the letter italicized on the google doc but when putting it into AO3, it just…didn’t.

[kind scaffold]

i know that feel. im not sure how translating from gogle docs to ao3 works but when i translate from scriv to ao3, there's a "copy special > copy as html" thing in the edit menu. it probably isnt a thing on google docs but this lets me put my fic into the html editor for ao3 (which is possibly what you did since it defaults to that over rich text). i put it into html form, which preserves the italics VISUALLY in the rich text editor. to actually get it to show up you need to manually go to each part that's italicized, disable the italics, and re enable them again

its strange but that's what i have to do

overall i think using italicized text sparingly is just a good idea. most of the time you dont actually need to do it for readers to understand the message you are trying to send in a particular scene, and so using it only when it is necessary makes it more impactful while also making it easier to put into ao3's editor........... but mostly the impact thing

[glossy kettle]

When converting my fics over from docs I actually go through and manually convert a lot of my formatting to HTML. It takes a bit of work, but it helps my proofreading discipline!

[kind scaffold]

for my proofreading i just always write my first draft in entirely lowercase

then i am forced to go through everything on the second draft

also makes it easy to track my second draft progress by just seeing which parts are lowercase and which parts are properly cased

(though i do ctrl f replace with any character names)

[fickle linden]

Late to say this but looking back at my google doc, I had new paragraphs tabbed to help indicate that. But again, HTML decided to not translate that.

[vital basin]

HTML can be a pain that's why I usually do everything in rich text

[fickle linden]

Would it be better for Ayuki to comfort him and not say anything, or is there something else Ayuki can say while using Itos speech?

[glossy kettle]

You have a lot of options. I think silence is definitely a good one, as you're working with an established couple who have lived together a long time. They can and should be able to convey a lot to each other even without words.

If you wanted to be more direct for the sake of your reader, then a line wherein she agrees with Ito's conclusion and mourns that the people of the village will never know the joys and experiences they could gain by casting aside their prejudice is another avenue.

Alternatively she could even disagree with his conclusion, claiming that there's still hope for the people of the village even if she and Ito won't be the ones to help them see clearly!

[fickle linden]

I feel like silence and Ayuki comforting Ito and the two mourning their efforts would be perfect.

I articulated her feelings already and dont need to repeat her feelings by having her talk.

[kind scaffold]

removing redundancies is a great thing to do true

[vital basin]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/71153181 been a while guys i totally didnt procrastinate this for months ive depression-ised everyone ive had in mind when i first started and now im outta ideas haha lmk who to do next or im just gonna spin a wheel lol

[kind scaffold]

:O

[balmy wind]

Don't bully me on ao3 or I'll cry
https://archiveofourown.org/works/72201426

[kind scaffold]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[kind scaffold]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/75431016