transdome

[teal dirge]

.fm

[teal dirge]

oh yay it does

[broken prism]

For me i’m in this weird limbo state where i tell people i’m nonbinary irl but don’t go over any nuance i usually tell people online

[teal dirge]

same here

[broken prism]

Right now I go by Nova IRL but only to anyone that’s not family (although some of my cousins know that they don’t count)

[teal dirge]

cousins do NOT count

i still don’t have a new name

can’t think of one

[broken prism]

Also it’s a little weird signing up for stuff and telling people my name when I get coffee and whatnot

[teal dirge]

that would be strange

[broken prism]

Because I usually tell them “Nova” but I don’t want them to get confused when my email address or my card says my deadname

[teal dirge]

get a new email

or when your card expires change your name

idk i’m new to being trans idk how it works

[frosty sky]

Dam

[teal dirge]

i mean very slight action

i’m growing out my hair

and i will start low doses of estradiol

[frosty sky]

I got dreads a year ago and i spent so long growing them out

[solid oasis]

dreads are kewl

[frosty sky]

I shake em everyday

[misty harness]

i mean everyone does this to some degree. personality is not fixed, you adapt to environments (especially social environments)

[solid oasis]

I think honestly systemhood has been incredibly watered down overtime online sadly

ppl will mix up basic disassociation and compartmentalization (ptsd thing mostly) with it i've noticed

but even then i'd argue different facets of yourself will be more equipped for different enviroments, kinda normal and natural. Different "modes" of yourself so to speak

I like making personae out of said "modes" personally, self exploration lol

[misty harness]

this is what the concept of a (jungian) persona is after all, its just the front we put in in different contexts which is always separate from any concept of the "true" self

[teal dirge]

i believe in the jungian psychology concept as a whole

like

100%

[misty harness]

its an interesting lens to view things through, though i think of it more of a philosophical take on psychology than scientific so it only gives certain kinds of insights

[solid oasis]

tbh this is something I hadnt heard of until now

[teal dirge]

you’ve probably heard of it under different names

[frosty sky]

Shiiiiiit i do persona shit all the time

[teal dirge]

search it up it’s interesting

[misty harness]

mhmm its heavily referenced in media. required reading for persona fans lmao

[solid oasis]

woag. this sort of thing is up my alley so yeah I'll look into it at some point

im very sensitive to and interested in anything that explores identity

[misty harness]

its as foundational to psychology as freud (they worked together for many years) but both should be viewed with some skepticism since almost none of their concepts are based on hard science, which is why i said its interesting philosophically

[frosty sky]

Identity is too sensitive thats why its secret

[solid oasis]

got u

[lofty nacelle]

Maybe it’s just the psychologists my friend talk abt but istg none of it is based on hard science

[misty harness]

Theres a ton of it. The entire Behaviorist movement from the 50s on was based on using the scientific method to study psychology

of course people are so complex that behaviorists also miss a huge part of the picture, so modern psychology is a blend of both. BUT this softer side of psych is why its sooooo easy for misinformation, scams, manipulation and whatever to take over

lots of self help pseudo-psychology snake oil

but then again, if any given framework to thinking about ones self gives positive understanding, it doesnt matter if its rooted in hard science. i have zero spirituality but i like tarot readings for self reflection

[solid oasis]

Imo it's really fun to explore the self and all and if anything can lead to healthier discoveries or like, parts of yourself that may need addressing. It depends

[solid oasis]

but god yea

im not a fan of how a lot of it is handled in some online spaces (kind of what I referred to earlier with the "watering down" of systemhood but it even extends beyond this) but thats a clusterfuck to get into and something I could rant on about for ages, I wont here tho I dont find it appropriate

[misty harness]

yeah i have a lot of thoughts on the internet's effect on the public perception of psychology lol

[solid oasis]

big nod

[misty harness]

the exploration of the self is so important but people like boxes so when you give them a bunch of boxes they'll conform to the ones they think they fit in. thats fine, boxes are incredibly useful!

the boxes can be anything from a fandom to a MBTI type to a subculture to a gender to a psychiatric condition to a nationality

but we have to remember the boundaries between boxes arent real and no one perfectly fits any of them. but, those boxes give us our sense of identity so we will mold ourselves to the ones we are told we are in or we want to be in

psychological boxes are interesting because its like the meta identity, getting at fundamental reasons why we see and feel and interpret things the ways we do. finding your psych box can radically change your perception of self and all of your memories. taken with the fact that memory is fragile and changes over time, thats a really powerful mechanism

anyway

this stuff is super interesting to me ima go back to work lol

its relevant to transdome too, my interpretation of my childhood is so much different after realizing i was trans. i had a similar shift when i got diagnosed with adhd

[solid oasis]

Oh oop I got sidetracked by work but nah I agree with a lot of this, I wanted to add kind of what you were saying as a disclaimer because I do think some spaces are healthy for that

[lofty nacelle]

This af when I figured out I was trans and autistic my perception changed on sm shit throughout my whole life

[solid oasis]

I was moreso nodding to those negative kind of pitfalls some can be led into as for why I didn't find it appropriate* it'd be more negative to get into

[solid oasis]

big true

[solid oasis]

me but with (undiagnosed) adhd but im so inclined to believe I just have it based on A Lot

we'll see in november but yaknow

[misty harness]

yeah i guess what im getting at is enforcing any set of categories causes problems, whether thats ones self enforcing belief or behaviors based on what you think they are, or imposing those categories on others

but the more i think about identity and all this stuff the more im like idk fuck it yo i dont know shit

im just a lady on the internet do your thing

[solid oasis]

akjsdnsjidnfdk same im always open to be corrected myself and nothing I say is definitive but more of a take on what I see, usually I hold deep conversations like this in DMs and me and whoever have a bit of a (good) back and forth I find it fun

[misty harness]

yeah i got opinions but i only know so much so those opinions might suck! god knows some of the things i used to believe were absolutely bullshit lol

[solid oasis]

Yauhhh I definitely still having some views challenged as we speak on some things and in some regards im loosening up lately more than ever, i'd just say my biggest worry nowadays are circles and things that can feed into harmful stigmatization(?) I used to be so much harsher for sure in what I believed, but Its mainly because I think I just had a tendency to overthink and "look for harm" where there is none, if that makes sense. I think this is to blame on just seeing a lot of harm or being harmed by something and then developing an irrational hypervigilance. I'd say this itself is a negative pitfall and can lead to some becoming extreme and overly harsh.
Im kind of actively unlearning a lot recently and the above is just one of those things im trying to mentally rewire* Nobody is an ultimate judge on anything anyway lol we all have some meaningful input on certain topics methinks and I dont want ppl to feel invalidated either

I feel like ive said this before somewhere and im repeating myself but yeah

word bomb

That itself is straying from the topic of identity just a bit though but whew I tend to get sidetracked

[frosty sky]

I walked into a word bomb

NUKE

[solid oasis]

I luv 2 yap tbh

[frosty sky]

This why i read manga and visual novel

[lofty nacelle]

In terms of identity I just always think of the evangelion scene at the end you can be as true to yourself as you want but no water what everyone will have their own version of you in their head so I just don’t worry abt it I’m me and there’s the mes that exist in ppl minds tha I have very little control over so why fret too much abt how ppl perceive you🤷‍♀️

[solid oasis]

I still really really really want to watch evangelion I will soon

[solid oasis]

also what the fuck I think abt this a lot

[frosty sky]

Waterp

[solid oasis]

I cringe at the outdated versions of myself that exist in others' heads lol but U cant control that anymore anyway

[lofty nacelle]

You should watch ittt so so peak also yeah this af you get it

[frosty sky]

Identity lowkey the only thing humans can control…..

More than their own bodies

Dontcha think?

[solid oasis]

its definitely my sort of thing and lots of ppl im friends with like it, I just haven't gotten around to set aside the time for it really

[frosty sky]

Evangelion is peak i agree

I tapped in cuz i glaze madoka magica

[solid oasis]

Hmm arguably

I think something I struggle with is "presentation" overall or people getting a wrong idea of who I am but maybe thats me obsessing over the concept

the topic of identity probably interests me a lot bcs of it; one of the many things I tend to ruminate on

[solid oasis]

but then again nobodys going to actually know me unless they take the time to do so / are interested, theres only sm to be gathered publicly(?) same with others

[misty harness]

we need to be understood by people, like thats a pretty fundamental thing. presentation sets up that understanding, so it makes sense why it feels very important to get right

[solid oasis]

right right

[frosty sky]

Shits hard for me sometimes

Being understood is SO DIFFICULTTTT

[left rivet]

Friendships are like both me and my friends slowly understanding me (and vice versa) cause atp i still dont fully understand myself lol

Sometimes they realize patterns about me i didnt even realize myself

[solid oasis]

It's cool when stuff like that is pointed out imo

[left rivet]

Yeah like apparently whenever i try to think of a random number its always the number 2

Certified marin fun fact

[frosty sky]

Im no good at math but im good at numbers

https://tenor.com/view/umamusume-agnes-tachyon-yes-nod-uma-musume-gif-14246277730057600737

[frosty sky]

Friendship is magic.

[left rivet]

https://tenor.com/view/rainbow-dash-my-little-pony-mlp-cutecore-gif-9530083319434166465

[late kayak]

Hi

[spring lynx]

gave up on being understood so i just do my own thing now

seems to be working pretty well too

[frosty sky]

When i got transferred to online school being unserstood was straight impossible

I could not go on any longer.

[late kayak]

Green

[lofty nacelle]

Yk it

[late kayak]

I love it stay green🥹

[frosty sky]

Green like Mary

And Benjamin

[lofty nacelle]

Dw I’ll do my best🫡

I’m the original so it is my duty to be the last green

[late kayak]

🥹🥹

[frosty sky]

Mary Jane Remover

[lofty nacelle]

I think they like men tbh if only tho

[solid oasis]

I honestly tend to get a bit depressive about it but then another side of myself is like "stop who cares. grow up. no pity parties"

in other words I'll get sad about it a little and then Move On

but honestly it's not that deep its just an area I have to put more effort into sometime (presentation in general)

[frosty sky]

Same thing for me……

[candid ore]

this is literally my life goals thank you for listening transdome (i am the mid theyfab gf)

my gender is so complicated (tmasc butch and bear simultaneously) i need someone just as complicated to compliment me (tfem twink and futch simultaneously...)

[magic verge]

manifesting this for you as a gay little it/its tmasc with a tfem futch bear partner

[solid oasis]

Real

me n my partner sift through labels sometimes but i think its Cute they regard me as butch to some degree sometimes and i roll w/it

I DONT KNOW WHAT I AM 🔥

[magic verge]

vibes based gender

my partner id's as every gender but depending on the day she'll feel more masculine/feminine or guy/girl/some secret third thing

shout out to all my genderweird trans people

[solid oasis]

Yea this is about how i am
Everything but nothing and sometimes ill drop labels on and off

Fluid yet not idk. Big shrug

I like to be Mystery and just me

Sometimes I use the word tmasc for the sake of getting an idea across to someone but at the same time I dont consider myself a "trans guy" tho.

It's just to escape being automatically perceived as feminine than anything else

id rather confuse whoever I meet and its been like that for awhile now and I find it affirming

[magic verge]

yeah that's entirely fair, transmasc =/= trans man. the sake of those labels is to provide an idea of the circumstances of your transition and otherwise aren't tied to any one gender

[frosty sky]

https://giphy.com/gifs/games-jojo-pirated-8kA7GqcNr9VyiCRUfB

[solid oasis]

I think altogether this is just me saying I wish to be seen outside of The Binary tbh

[solid oasis]

yeuas

[magic verge]

mystery flavor gender is a good one

[frosty sky]

Half my gender is a mystery

I fucked it in half

[magic verge]

gender: bottomless pit

honestly kinda goes hard as an agender-ish person

[frosty sky]

real magical girl shit

Half my gender is a bottmless pit

Magigirl power

POWERRRRR

[lofty nacelle]

I think I’ve landed on my gender being somewhere between the binary but still a woman

When customers can’t decide what I am and bounce between both that highkirk feels awesome but I’d still like to be called maam idk🤷‍♀️

[grand hearth]

Ya I get u

not a man but I also don’t correct people if they call me a he/him and I appreciate being sir’d lmao

[lofty nacelle]

Literally this I think I define myself as a woman but like who knows who cares genderfucked n imo labels are just for convenience anyways so

[spring lynx]

my gender atp is deadpool but specifically from the comics and entirely divorced from the ryan reynolds live action shit
like i do not care and it feels like no matter how hard i try to die or other people try to kill me, it doesnt work, so fuck it we ball even if it hurts like fuck
will i be in a dress or a jacket or a hoodie or a blouse or a cardigan? who knows? what label does that give me? i dont fucking know anymore bc the labels never seem to fit anyways so who cares

fuck i wish i couldve been around for 90s drag shows, they look so fuckin rad holy shit

[frosty sky]

The only label i want is future classic (/j)

[frosty sky]

Hello Ladies, Gentlemen, Humans and Creatures of Transdome!!!

[pale umbra]

hai

[pale umbra]

holy shittt listen to that kouhai purrrr

[astral glade]

Hey w*ke dome i need advice
Basically i went to the guy thats going to prescribe me hormones but he said he'll do it once my mood stabilizes
Ive been to a psychiatric hospital for a month and my mood has improved a lot but my family members are still telling me to hold off getting on e because of potential mood swings n stuff and i dont know what to do

I heard that some peoples mood improved once they got on hormones

[solid oasis]

That's odd.. I think all that matters is that you explain how it'd benefit you and in my experience you'll be prescribed the stuff. The two doctors I had of my doctors were chill with it and prescribed me it

Were you prompted to explain why you think itd be beneficial to you and why youre considering it?

I mean I could be wrong but I just see that as something that'd be rewarding, not something that'd make you become suddenly unstable. I get the concern with mood swings if you were in a psych hospital for a bit, but it sounds weird to me idk

plus you never really know until you're actively taking it and they do have blood tests and followups to ensure nothings going wrong when on it

but if anyone has other input feel free 2 add

[lofty nacelle]

What snare said as far as I know that’s just bs p much but I dont know too much abt prescribed hrt and that process so

[elder saffron]

Idk for me I go through Plume and all I did was just do a consent form and nothing else. My girlfriend also just had to sign a consent form for her irl endo

Also mood swings on E arnt that bad

[elder saffron]

@lofty nacelle I feel like you'd appreciate my green bats

[frosty sky]

My dad is giving me bullshit AGAINNNNNNNN

Fuking kill me.

[candid ore]

im debating going to chicago's pride parade next month
pros: pride (yay!)
cons: one of the largest pride celebrations in america (scary)

[left rivet]

Same but for boston

[lofty nacelle]

I fw

[frosty sky]

update: i crashed out

my shit is gone

BUT I CANT BE SILENCED 😈

[frosty sky]

shit was too cathartic so i felt no remorse

[frosty sky]

update: i felt remorse.

but i have become forgiven in the end.

I got the good ending.

[lofty nacelle]

I have discovered why I’m passing out unfortunately I do not think I’m solving it anytime soon

[elder saffron]

Oh?

[lofty nacelle]

The scary out of nowhere ones I can at least tie to my cycle, however said cycle is observably getting worse so

It’s been consistent since my first so I’m not so worried I’m gonna like see a doctor but damn.

[lofty nacelle]

I’ve been popping midol on CD but I think I’m gonna have to pick up Motrin n sum more shit tmmr when I get paid I genuinely feel like sludge

[elder saffron]

Have you been keeping your electrolytes in check? My body sucks at holding magnesium which in turn affects potassium so if I'm not getting enough I start to feel off and light headed

[lofty nacelle]

Ngl I’ve been so focused on my calories/protein/carbs I forgo I’m supposed to care abt electrolytes n all that now…

[next harbor]

u feel?

[elder saffron]

We out here feeling

[lofty nacelle]

Yeah I’m pael af rn

[next harbor]

oh! to aid endlessly while being able to rest as much as you need or even.. want!

really feeling a lot about someone I respect a lot using the term "lazy (affectionate)"

dragon gloop lava lamp, also

smth just the right amount of trans fucked about that

[solid oasis]

Absolutely

[elder saffron]

Lowkey kinda wanting to get a small heart tattooed with the trans flag colors

[lofty nacelle]

Get it

[frosty sky]

im such a smile hehehehee

[frosty sky]

huh

[elder saffron]

Happy Pride Month 🌈

[lofty nacelle]

HAPPY PRIDE!!!🦔

Actually no I can do better

I lied I don’t feel like going through my camera reel

[spring lynx]

merry gay
my genderfluid viper gts

[astral glade]

Happy w*ke

[solid oasis]

Wakes up

[frosty sky]

happy demon month for the demonz ^_^

https://tenor.com/view/date-a-live-iv-kurumi-shadow-show-up-season4-gif-25405342

https://tenor.com/view/extreme-extreme-demon-geometry-dash-geometry-dash-gif-98112505236349804

All demons welcome in this time

[pale umbra]

happy wokeee

wooookke

WOOKKKKE

WOKKKKEE

[frosty sky]

Met with a sapphic and trans worker at the home depot

Banger day today

[lofty nacelle]

Oh and now I have that abt to throw up sensation like I’m on mushrooms

And on pride month nonetheless smh

[next harbor]

this pride, I'm bringing you something new. There are gamer chairs, but there are also piles of pillows and blankets on a couch. Gamer theirs

[teal dirge]

i thought this was the boognish

i’m weenrotted

[late kayak]

Happy pride month everyone

Yay

[next harbor]

I saw the last name Hallowette and it's really good esp if ur involved with french lore

not that it means anything literally but still u get the idea

[elder saffron]

Ween mentioned!

[astral glade]

wrong ufckign video

https://youtu.be/d0azOBVcfgg?si=Whsb2DTC37LOOcsv

[teal dirge]

yes

[mossy thicket]

I had the nefarious "talk" with my parents

They're cool with it, kinda scared which is understandable but they told me if it makes me feel more like me than they're happy

And I asked them if they would choose a new name for me

We looked online together and was looking at French names and one of them was literally "Men"

[mossy thicket]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1325644003315552278/1375627700139720714/indoctrination.gif

[frosty sky]

The Men Ending

[scenic falcon]

The...mending?

[random flax]

i want one too tbh but im scared about being really dependent on hrt my whole life

esp right now since that can be taken at any point

i just realized im late asf 2 the conversation sorry

[grand hearth]

I mean iirc they can leave your ovaries there 🤷

should be fine hormones-wise as long as they’re healthy

[random flax]

oh shit they can??

in that case im on board but wouldnt i just still bleed [sob]

[grand hearth]

if there’s no uterus left there’s nothin to bleed lol

[random flax]

oh my god

sorry im a fucking idiot when it comes 2 human biology i was. genuinely scared of it when i was a teenager

[grand hearth]

lol ur all good

[random flax]

dysphoria kinda fucked me up on that end 💔

[mossy thicket]

Im getting a mullet to celebrate me coming out to my parents

I have said nothing to my parents about that yet

[frosty sky]

Good news: i graduated highschool

Bad news: dysphoria was too much

Good news: i had a dapper fit on

Bad news: it was during boymode

Good news: everyone said congrats

Bad news: it was deadname who walked the aisle

Good news: my family saw me graduate