Wow. Just wow. I sat here expecting at least the smallest crumb of humor and instead you delivered whatever that was supposed to be. Not a laugh, not a smile, not even that polite nose exhale people do when something is mildly amusing. My face remained completely motionless the entire time like I had just read the nutritional label on a cereal box. I actually paused for a second because I thought maybe the joke had not loaded yet, but no. That was the whole thing. I refuse to believe a real human being looked at that and thought “yes, this is ready for public consumption.”
I tried to give it a chance. I really did. I reread it three times thinking maybe there was some hidden comedic genius that my brain had simply missed the first time. Nothing. The more I looked at it the worse it became. At this point I am convinced the joke was not written but assembled by randomly pulling words out of a hat. Somewhere out there a clown just lost their job because you single handedly lowered the global standard for humor.
You know when people say something is painfully unfunny as a figure of speech. This is not that. This is a scientific phenomenon. If researchers studied the effects of that joke they would probably discover a new emotion that sits somewhere between confusion and secondhand embarrassment. I felt my brain actively trying to escape my skull just to avoid processing it. That level of disappointment should honestly be documented for future generations.
I want you to understand the effort I put into trying to find the joke funny. I leaned back in my chair. I squinted slightly like maybe the angle of my eyes would reveal something clever. I even looked away and came back to it later just in case my mood was the problem.
If humor were a sport this would be the equivalent of showing up to the Olympics and immediately tripping, very disappointed