M.Ss Journal

[wide vale]

im sorry ❤️

[vivid quail]

I hope this never happens to me tbh. I’d come crawling to my old friends just wouldn’t be a good thing

[wide vale]

same 🫠🫠

i hatee nightmares

[wide vale]

he didn't answer... and tahts kinda sad 🥺 i miss him

somehow

[brazen pawn]

[winged widget]

Why did the fallout happen? How long ago was that?

[wide vale]

he told me " delete my chat" 🫠

[vivid quail]

It takes time to move on it really does but I suggest you start talking to other people. I've been trying to get in contact with my old freind group for months and it never helps it doesn't you'll only keep hurting yourself. If they were your actual loved one or someone who truly cared about you they wouldn't be treating you this way regardless of what may have happened. Freinds real ones at least are there for each other in the hardest of times. Dont give up, especially not on yourself

[wide vale]

yess i agree, and i do have friends 🤗 i didn't even mean to text him idk,

[wide vale]

im so tired but it was a good day

[wide vale]

i need distraction 🙃

im going crazyy

waiting dor this call

||feel like relapsing ||

[wide vale]

im going crazyyyy

having a panicattack

[wide vale]

my father is so fucking weird🫠

[steady hare]

🥺

What happened?

[wide vale]

he hates her because of 480€ is he kidding meee

[wide vale]

i feel like my life is a soap🫠 a bad onee

[wide vale]

hmm

idk what to do... like i loveee spotify... but the politics ugh

[wide vale]

ehmm

[winged widget]

Cute :)

[wide vale]

yes im bored 🤣

[wide vale]

new plant

[wide vale]

i hate nightmares

[wide vale]

idk what im even doing

🤣😭 just whyyy.... but atleast im doing something

[wide vale]

hpw can there still be soo much discrimination, racism, sexualism and homophobie in the world... i don't get it.... like how can people even be like that

[wide vale]

first time in years ive been happy? not really happy but i like myself atm

[wide vale]

nothing better than watching criminal minds on christmas

[wide vale]

i think im drunk since yesterday noon 🤣

oops

[brazen pawn]

Take care of yourself

[wide vale]

you too

[wide vale]

||feel like relapsing||

[wide vale]

||relapsed ||

every second brings me joy
every month brings me peace
every time… you make me smile

i want you
just you

i want your smile
i want your laugh
i want your love
i want you to be a part of my life

but the longer you stay,
the more scared i get
every second you stay
is a second less i can spend with you

and still,
i want to spend eternity with you
just you

even after all the anxiety
all the worries
you are all i want
just you

[wide vale]

_

life has a beginning
life has an end
it has already started
but it hasn’t ended yet

the start was rough
the end is far
but what if all you desire is the end
and all you regret is the start

you can't change the start
but you can shape the end
when will it happen?
how will it happen?
where will it happen?
all these questions

all these endless questions
might seem important
but why?
if it’s over.....
you can't think
you can't see
you can't hear
so why do we care?

why do we wait?
why do we wonder?
all that matters
is the end
we live for the end
we live for the death

[brazen pawn]

[wide vale]

how are you

[brazen pawn]

Idk, what about you?

[wide vale]

same

[brazen pawn]

[wide vale]

[wide vale]

soo bored

[wide vale]

i wasn't tgis lonely in a long time tbh

[hidden stream]

❤️

[wide vale]

feel like relapsing

[wide vale]

happy new yearr

[wide vale]

crying myself to sleep ✨️

[steady hare]

Sweetheart🥺

[wide vale]

i hate drawing humans sooo much

i mean.. i hate everything i suck at 🤣

soo not surprising

but still

okayy i drawed a human for the third time in my live... i hate itttt

[wide vale]

🥺🥺

[wide vale]

ughh make this coughing stoppp

[wide vale]

||feel like relapsing ||

[simple folio]

Not that time of day

[simple folio]

whats going on

[wide vale]

argued with a friend and going crazy now

[wide vale]

what time of the day is it for you 👀

[simple folio]

Well i realized what ive been doing

I jyst gotta get my mind off of the shit parts in my life

But phyisacly good

Mentally nah

[wide vale]

🫂

[wide vale]

i understand 🥺 and i believe in you... if you ever wanna talk with someone im here

just not tn

rn

[simple folio]

Yeah same here

[steady hare]

What happened 🥺

[wide vale]

its fine ❤️ we solved iz

[wide vale]

meh

[steady hare]

[wide vale]

🏳️‍🌈🤗

[wide vale]

i thinkk i have a favourite pencil 🤣🙈

i neverrr use the H ones

[wide vale]

im pathetic

im so monely

i Literally have nobody

there is no person i regularly talk to

0

[fresh pike]

Wow that is amazing!!!!!

[wide vale]

aww thank you 🥹

[fresh pike]

reminds me sort of, of the book Eragon haha

Actually just re-looked it up. Yours is much much better

[wide vale]

ohhh truue, i loved that buck

[wide vale]

aww 😅🙈 thank you

[fresh pike]

Is that all just done in pencil????

[wide vale]

yes 👀

im not patient enough for colours most of the times 🤣😭

[fresh pike]

thats crazy 😮 You have a really really amazing talent

[wide vale]

aww thank you🙈 i appreciate it a lot

[fresh pike]

I'd like to see more if you wanna show off 😄 😄

[wide vale]

i don't have many pictures but i will take some if i draw again and share with you? 👀

and i have this... its not pencil and not the best, but yeah🤗

[fresh pike]

YAAAY yes please 😄

[wide vale]

🤗aww

[fresh pike]

Wooooow I really like that! sort of how my heart feels haha

[wide vale]

i hope you feel better soon 🥺🥺

[fresh pike]

You are amazing!! 🙌

[wide vale]

you too! 🤗

[fresh pike]

I'll be okay eventually i hope/think. just learning to be comfortable with myself ❤️

[wide vale]

if i can help you in any way tell me ☺️

[fresh pike]

well i joined this server last year but lurked a bit then forgot about it so ive only been talking the last few days and learning the server

i feel i get ignored in the chats mostly but id love a new friend if you have room 😄

[wide vale]

aww thats great🤗

[wide vale]

sure i have time. Well i need to go to work soon. But in general im always here☺️

[fresh pike]

Yaaay okay!! What do you do for work???

[wide vale]

i work in a bank ☺️ and study banking

[fresh pike]

Do you have access to the vault?? 👀

And that's pretty neat! You must be good with numbers 😛

[wide vale]

no 👀

[fresh pike]

Not YET

[wide vale]

😅yess

[wide vale]

🤣 i work in the computer section

[fresh pike]

Ahhh okay haha. I love numbers myself. math has always been fun to me

[wide vale]

yesss samee i love it

[fresh pike]

Oh i cant do gifs oh nooo

[fresh pike]

How soon until work? 🥀

[wide vale]

yeah🥺🤗

[wide vale]

veryy soon🤧

[fresh pike]

Well i hope hope hope you have a good shift and a wonderful day 😄
Can i give you a small piece of homework? hehe

[wide vale]

sure 👀 sorry for my late reply i was at work

[fresh pike]

Sorry!!! I was going to ask if you could tell me 3 positive things about today 😄
Big or small it's no matter. Could be seeing a pretty bird or someone giving you a compliment or yummy food you ate etc 😄

[wide vale]

ehm im so sorry i didn't answer

im nor feeling tge best atm

and idk

i just didn't see it?🥺

forgive me pls

[wide vale]

i was idk playing the piano and drawing today, also watching gentleman jack again, its an amazing show

i 100% recommend it

[fresh pike]

That sounds lovely 😄 😄

[wide vale]

i hope you had a good day🤗

[fresh pike]

So far so good 😄 thank you so much!!

[wide vale]

im glad to hear that 🤗

[wide vale]

idk why i did it

and what to do with it

someone wants a wallet?

🤣😭

[brazen pawn]

Me

[quick vector]

I know you said you are athiest, and I'm not 100% sure if I'm allowed to say this but I'm praying for you to feel better ml

[wide vale]

i mean, you are alliwed to say everything here😅
and i think its meant with good intentions 🤗

in general ... i don't appreciate it so much but its fine

[wide vale]

aww🤗🤗

[fresh pike]

@wide vale Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii 😄

I hope you are well and persuing good things 🙂 🙂

I like the wallet a lot!! You have loads of creativity and an artisit mind.
I look forward to seeing what else you can create! ❤️

[wide vale]

HIII🤗🤗🤗

[wide vale]

yes im fine and how are you??🤗
im glad to hear that, i mean it didn't turn out so well... but its the first time i tried something like that so its fine

[brazen pawn]

🫂 🫂

[wide vale]

its such a shame that anne lister died so early

she was such an incredible woman

[fresh pike]

I'm doing pretty good today! 😄 Sorry I didnt check discord much yesterday but I hope today is going fine for you as well 🙂

And that's okay yeah! Nobody is perfect the first try haha

[wide vale]

don't worry 🤗🤗🤗
that happens. Idk im alive? how is your day

[wide vale]

thinking about getting a haircut🤔 idk if i want it shorter

i never really had short hair

just the shorter it is the more curls i have

[steady hare]

you look so pretty girl

[steady hare]

Whatever you feel comfy with

[wide vale]

idk🫠

[steady hare]

If you think this change is good for you, then go for it But if your current hair length is your confort zone, then keep it

[wide vale]

idk😅 thats the problem

[steady hare]

Maybe cut your hair a little and if you feel comfy with that you can go shorter

[wide vale]

🙈yeah maybe

[wide vale]

🫠

[wide vale]

boreddd

[wide vale]

feel like ||relapsing||

[brazen pawn]

Don't

U got this ms

[wide vale]

im trying

[brazen pawn]

Ur doing ur best 🫂

I am so proud of you

[wide vale]

🥺thank you

[wide vale]

[wide vale]

im so tired stm

atm*

i don't have energy for anything

[steady hare]

🥺

Im sorry sweetie

[wide vale]

its okay

[steady hare]

🥺 🫂

[brazen pawn]

You got this ms

[wide vale]

aww

[steady hare]

Love you M

[wide vale]

love you too

[wide vale]

i should sleep

[wide vale]

long time no seee

im just idk

i don't have energy

[steady hare]

🥺

[wide vale]

🤗

[wide vale]

||relapsed yesterday ||

after idk almsot half a yeat

year

[wide vale]

🫠

im tired

[wide vale]

idk what to do anymore

||relapsed ||

[wide vale]

boreddddddddddd

[desert bloom]

Hiiiii

[wide vale]

hii

[wide vale]

👀

[desert bloom]

I like your art!!

[wide vale]

thank you🤗 i appreciate it

[desert bloom]

Do you have any more you havent posted? 🤗

[wide vale]

yeah many, i might show them here soon🤗 if yoj want

[desert bloom]

Would be pretty neat!! Sorry for necroing the journal though. I scrolled thru lots of stuff and remember i came across this once i think when i first joined but couldn't remember your name 🙁

[wide vale]

don't worry its fineee 🤗🤗🤗

[desert bloom]

Yay then! I felt awkward but didnt want to say something hahaha

[desert bloom]

This was the one i remembered seeing and it was the day after i joined 😄

[wide vale]

awe, don't worryyy.
its finee hwre

[wide vale]

ohh i seèe i liked it🙈

[desert bloom]

You have a good talent and if anyone says otherwise they are definitely wrong 😛

[wide vale]

aww thank you 🤗

[desert bloom]

How have you been managing things lately? if you would like to chat I have some time >.>

[wide vale]

in general yess. but maybe not rn.. being a littke hungover from a party yesterday 😅

[desert bloom]

Rest and hydration is important as I'm sure you know 🙂

🙏 Hope the fog lifts for you and you get away from that hangover feeling

[wide vale]

yeah🙈🙈

[wide vale]

tgank youu

[desert bloom]

you're welcome ma'am! feel free to ping me so i dont forget. I went down quite the rabbit hole to get back here 😅

[wide vale]

oops🙈
well im glad you made it

[desert bloom]

And i'm glad you're here to reply ❤️ Now go rest!! 😛

[wide vale]

okayyy

[desert bloom]

are you feeling any better? 🙏

[wide vale]

🙈 i was at a Festival yesterday so.....