The Secret Garden of the Mind | The Therapy Center | Page 2

high dome Jan 1, 2025, 6:59 PM

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Neutral.

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More like tolerable

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Death seems like smth I'd be peaceful for.

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Not rn.

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Still alive unfortunately

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I miss sh

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I miss the cold feeling of the blade on my wounded skin, as it glides over it.

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I used to hide them over my hoodie

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But they won't care if I do it

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Not even attention lmao

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I just hate myself

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That feeling of deep seated hatred

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I feel empty rn

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Sometimes I hope I feel so bad that I just end it.

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Immediately

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No nothin

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Knife on my face

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Ruining smth I can't look at

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My focus is not the best.

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I wanna bash my head onto a wall

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Punch myself

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Anything

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Making myself bleed is not really practical anymore

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Tbh pain is smth that annoys me.

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So I don't get as much as anything from it

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I have feelings of avoiding people

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And it is hard

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I want to genuinely do smth and move

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But it's like the world is pressing onto me

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Migraines again

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Trying not to rely onto bad things

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Some people say just do it

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But when it's this horrible everytime

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Death seems much more peaceful

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I want to wail so much

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Someone could understand how difficult it is

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How empty it feels while it feels like I'm not sure anymore

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I think if I really did got to the point of death

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I'll just do it abruptly

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Maybe send a last message

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I did do some docs but alas

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I wanna finish it seriously

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Consistency is hard for me

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Honestly at this point.
I need to get this check up

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So it can be done smth

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Smth is wrong with me

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I'm such a flawed person

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I wish i was more

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I hate God for letting me live.

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And more uwu

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Jesus is chill tho

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Would love to get high with him, or play some games.

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He seems the type to help me commit some tomfoolery

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Body hurts TwT

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Sleep alone forever.

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If I ever sleep

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I wish to not wake up

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Not like my wishes come true.

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My death wish always does not happen.

high dome Jan 2, 2025, 12:41 PM

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Mhmm

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Can't type my thoughts rn.

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I'll probably just do stuff,
so I could get this off.

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Idk what to say rn.

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I don't really wanna say smth in my head.

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I guess at some point, people will just throw me away.

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I usually don't ask for favours. Because it really isn't smth I prefer.

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Too selfish, too much, etc..

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Limit myself, don't be too much.
Don't be too selfish

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I crave for things because I want more.

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It's like the need to know more.

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I value it so I want to know more.

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At some point, it'll just settle down.

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I'll just slowly not even express myself.

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It is too much

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I don't mind. I'm used to changing myself

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Had to lie earlier.

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Because I don't want anyone being uncomfortable

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It's not just the crave for the flesh.

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More of a craving for that sense of closeness.

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I just do. It because, it's smth they deserve.

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Do good, and it's good.

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I don't really have the capacity anymore to manipulate people

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Why even have expectations?

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Nudging people.

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It's just smth I'm growing tired off.

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Lost someone this day and frankly.

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I do get it.

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My value isn't smth that big for anyone

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Not even myself

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I'm just gonna slowly wither away.

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Just turning into smth idk even know anymore as usual.

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It's hard.

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Maybe I shouldn't really interact with people much.

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I need to properly limit myself.

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Even for a week or more.

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Handle things that I should be handling

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Usually I become into the mood when either smth is very stressful or I just found smth I can do.

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I suck man.

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I hate myself.

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I don't even know why do people still want me

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Maybe I'm not really meant to be with people.

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I've been kinda thinking it.

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I Just wanna isolate.

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The self hatred is gonna be fun.

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I won't even say anything.
Just act natural

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I hate myself.

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Aight time to write it in notes.
Another death threat to myself and some self hatred sessions.

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What a mistake of a person am i? So useless and pathetic.

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The urge to talk to some toxic person just to make me hate myself is real.

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I wanna burn out more.

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Hurt more

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I should be punished

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These self hatred stuff are smol compared to my notes rn tbh.

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Probably because I can't really hate myself too much that others may see

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Damn

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I'm shaking heavily

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Yeah I'm not even gonna leave any traces. Just take it all in

high dome Jan 2, 2025, 5:46 PM

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Genuinely

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How hard is it to not make it feel like I'm being ignored??

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:40 AM

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You're really good with words. It's very poetic. 😊

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Wait I just read the rest are you okay??

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Do you want to talk??

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:42 AM

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high dome What a mistake of a person am i? So useless and pathetic.

Do you want to talk?? I know ik not exactly qualified but I'm always open to listen if you need it

high dome Jan 3, 2025, 6:43 AM

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Rn I am pretty good. But thank you

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Awhh it's nice

high dome Jan 3, 2025, 6:43 AM

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empty field Do you want to talk?? I know ik not exactly qualified but I'm always open to lis...

Instead of me since I'm okay. Why not talk about your day?

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:44 AM

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high dome Instead of me since I'm okay. Why not talk about your day?

My day wasn't bad. A little stressful but not bad. You're okay though?

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:45 AM

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high dome Rn I am pretty good. But thank you

Yw

high dome Jan 3, 2025, 6:46 AM

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empty field My day wasn't bad. A little stressful but not bad. You're okay though?

Yes it is pretty okay now. My phone notes are more worrying than this TwT

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I haven't put anything happy here Ngl 😭

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:46 AM

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high dome Yes it is pretty okay now. My phone notes are more worrying than this TwT

I'm sorry to hear that

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:46 AM

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high dome I haven't put anything happy here Ngl 😭

Then let's put something happy.

high dome Jan 3, 2025, 6:47 AM

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Mhm rn I'm more focused on thinking of ways to eradicate the mosquito population ngl

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:47 AM

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REAL

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Mosquitos are a pain tbh

high dome Jan 3, 2025, 6:47 AM

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Istg I don't support extinction or genocide but maybe it's good for mosquitoes.

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:48 AM

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Yes definitely

high dome Jan 3, 2025, 6:48 AM

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Heard a news on making sure mosquitoes are impotent and damn.

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Really are human.

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Lowkey please make it here too, I dotn wanna see any mosquitoes

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:49 AM

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Fr fr

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I used to live in a town where it was named after mosquitoes in a different language bcs of how many there were 😭

high dome Jan 3, 2025, 6:50 AM

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empty field I used to live in a town where it was named after mosquitoes in a different lang...

That's wild.

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:51 AM

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Yeeeaaahhhh summer sucked there

high dome Jan 3, 2025, 6:52 AM

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For us it's all year around.

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:52 AM

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Oh no 😭😭

high dome Jan 3, 2025, 6:53 AM

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So it's reallyyyy "fun"

empty field Jan 3, 2025, 6:53 AM

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Yep. "Fun".

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Wellll it's 1 am, so I'm gonna go to bed, but take care of yourself okay?

high dome Jan 4, 2025, 1:42 AM

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Mhm ofc.

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_ _

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I really don't give much attention if others like me or dislike me because ik that not everyone will do so and I don't wanna please everyone.

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I just like to be me.

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What if they dislike me? Would it change?

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Really just thinking about it.

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Over think mornings are nice

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It'll pass by and next time I shouldn't mind the thinking time

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I think rn it is nice they thought about it.

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Yes I preferred the straightforward fast answer.

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But I think they just woke up and it is a sudden question after All.

high dome Jan 4, 2025, 5:30 AM

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You know. Right now

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It just feels odd

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Maybe I feel sad and I don't know it just yet

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I think it's just me atm being not in the mood for anything.

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Yes a call would be nice

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But it's okay to have some time with themselves too.

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Eh. It'll be just fine

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I'll be fine if I'm not okay.

high dome Jan 4, 2025, 10:43 AM

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Just chill

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I don't feel sad about stuff that much

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I do think that it's quite good.

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I change based on t he things presented on me.

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I adapt to it.

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The definition of me is really smth that can be changed as well.. I can grow and I can adapt

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Being human means those.

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I'm afraid of just casually ignoring someone.

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Because it does happen, if given enough reasons and time.

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I can just temporarily forget about people

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That's why I keep notes.

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Refreshers

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There was a time where I've forgotten my oldest sister.

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My dad.

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Because I Don't really use that memory.

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It's such a weird one.

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Hopefully I'm not that weird and this happens to people

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Like even if it's rare.

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I'd like to have some people to accompany me

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I'm having murder thoughts rn.

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It ain't fun

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I didn't do anything

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Just might slip into my dreams

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Sigh..

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Can't sleep. Much

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It's like a good sleeping condition ngl

high dome Jan 4, 2025, 12:40 PM

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I don't mind things.

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I'll just adapt to it

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Okay okay. 8 need to snap out of thsi shi

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Damn..

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I think it's overdue

high dome Jan 4, 2025, 2:02 PM

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TwT

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The door hit my arm and a bit of my head again

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But I thought it wasn't that bad

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Damn my high pain tolerance

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I can't feel it that much

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But huh. I guess if it gets worse ill treat it TwT

high dome Jan 4, 2025, 5:59 PM

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I wanna vanish

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Into this void

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Cold and dark

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Saw someone describe depression as the big sad.

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It's goofy ngl

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It does make me feel better to hear they call it the big sad.

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Idk why but I just felt so sad.

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I wanna be under a grave

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I really am crying

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I just finished stuff and I just wanna sleep.

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I thought of smth

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I didn't knew it was that important

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I don't wanna ask for stuff again.

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Dumb stupid me.

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-# is it right to feel sad? I genuinely am confused anymore. Just let it end

high dome Jan 5, 2025, 7:11 AM

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Anyways

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I won't dwell on it too much

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And just let it be

high dome Jan 5, 2025, 11:06 AM

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I wonder why

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Is it cold?

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I do think a break would be nice if it's like this

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Usually I don't really like it.

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I don't prefer it.

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But tbh

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Maybe it is what she needs.

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Man I am not a good guy.

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So flawed, sigh..

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I'll probably say a lot of stuff I won't say to anyone else rn and it hurts to say it ngl

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Aight I'll need to play some songs so I can really get into this and finish it

high dome Jan 5, 2025, 12:09 PM

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My heart pains, a striking scream.
It shrivels, from the nibbles.
Slowly breaking, is the end nigh? I ask.
A slow howl, a muffled laughter.
Why does it feel like a slaughter? Is it getting bad again?
I know it's getting bad again, when I can't try to get it all again. When I couldn't pick up my pen, when I couldn't bear the noise. The deafening silence, when itching for joy has become my past time.

high dome Jan 5, 2025, 2:14 PM

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***The world was sad, a rainy day, but the Samsung washing machine, hooray!
It boinged and spun with glee,
"Let's have a party, just for me!"

The clothes did dance, a soapy spree, washing blues away, you see!
Clean and bright, they jumped out high,
"Goodbye sadness!" the washer cried!

With boom-boom-boom, a happy beat, the Samsung sang, a joyful treat.
Its gurgling song, a happy sound, washing worries all around!***

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_ _
I can't believe the all new Samsung washing machine with its premium features helped me by providing sick tunes to listen to and washing my sadness away and cleaning the frown on my face.

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_ _
Yes that is an add and a rhymed stuff about Samsung washing machine.

high dome Jan 5, 2025, 9:01 PM

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Wow..

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It's like a train

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Hitting me rn

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I wish they are okay

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I wish they are safe

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I wish they are good.

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:45 AM

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I wonder what are they doing rn?

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Know that I haven't really forgotten them all.

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That I did loved them and I still in some capacity care for them.

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Tbh I've become a much better person because of them.

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:46 AM

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sorry i reacted that on accident

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:47 AM

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orchid idol sorry i reacted that on accident

That got me a chuckle Ngl 😭

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:47 AM

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lol

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sorry bout that

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:47 AM

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No no. It made me chuckle lmao

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It's so sudden 😭

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:47 AM

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lol ok gtk

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proceed

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:47 AM

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Aight

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:48 AM

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high dome Tbh I've become a much better person because of them.

I've lost them and while I still blame myself on things.

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There are times where I just regret it all.

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So many regrets.

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But I've come to live with it and just do better.

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To be okay and healthy, yeah there are times where it's sad and stressful.

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But I'm mostly clean and never had any attempt again to this day.

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:50 AM

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did u lose someone?

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:50 AM

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I'd think about it and it just doesn't go more than that. Just the comfort of it.

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:50 AM

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orchid idol did u lose someone?

Oh. It was a messy time, but yes.

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I've remembered them like a car suddenly hitting me on the road.

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:50 AM

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sorry to hear that

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i hope u get better

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:50 AM

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Don't be sorry for things outside your control.

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Oh I'm better 😅

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:51 AM

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ok

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lol

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:51 AM

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Yeah it just came back to me again. Even if the people I had was in the past

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I could never really forget about them completely

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I may not be able to say stuff like oh that's your name after a very long time of absences

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:52 AM

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do u know andrew garfield

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:52 AM

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But when I meet them. It's just comes back all over again.

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:52 AM

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orchid idol do u know andrew garfield

Spiderman?

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:52 AM

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yes

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:52 AM

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Mhm love that guy

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More of a Toby guy

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:53 AM

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well he once said that he lost his mother and he is happy that he is sad because that means that he can appreciate that he was close to her

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:53 AM

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That is nice

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:53 AM

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i hope u try to follow the same idealogy

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:54 AM

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Oh I won't, it's different.

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:54 AM

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oh

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ok

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well idk much so

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:54 AM

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For me, the past is the past. I've learned to let go of it all, it's troublesome but I love it and I wish I could have given more love than I can.

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Let go of the burden of bad memories but learn to enjoy them for what they are.

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Memories and time spent with them.

orchid idol Jan 6, 2025, 5:56 AM

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true

high dome Jan 6, 2025, 5:58 AM

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Same way as why nostalgia exists. You don't seek for it but rather it reminds you that yes, at that very time and place. You've felt that feeling and you liked it.

high dome Jan 7, 2025, 1:55 PM

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I don't know

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My energy level is low

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I just wanna sleep

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I can't talk much

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Call would be preferable nice

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But I'd probably not even talk much either

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I don't mind if I'm boring rn or smth

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Just really eager to sleep.

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I want a hug

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A kiss

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A bit of sweet words.

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:46 AM

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high dome I want a hug

Are vortual hugs accepted

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*virtual

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:47 AM

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Sure. Thanks for it

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:48 AM

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Welcome

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Hope you feel better

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:48 AM

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Mhm it's last night but that did made me feel bit better now.

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:48 AM

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It's this morning for me lol

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:49 AM

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high dome Mhm it's last night but that did made me feel bit better now.

At least there's that

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:49 AM

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empty field At least there's that

Mhm effort is what mattered. I like it

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:50 AM

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😊

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:50 AM

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empty field It's this morning for me lol

Morning for me too TwT

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:50 AM

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No like it's night for me the morning was when that ,message went 😅

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:50 AM

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empty field No like it's night for me the morning was when that ,message went 😅

Oohh I see. TwT

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:51 AM

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^^

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So

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You're feeling better?

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:51 AM

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Yeah. I'm quite better after I slept, but this just adds a bit.

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:51 AM

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I'm glad to hear that 🙂

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I'm probably gonna check on you every few days

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:52 AM

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Mhm thanks 😅

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:52 AM

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Welcome 😊

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:53 AM

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Mhm How's your day?

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:53 AM

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My day was good at the start and bad towards the end, now it's in the middle

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Yours?

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:54 AM

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Lots of mosquitoes again and apparently my tonsils just like to get sore TwT

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:55 AM

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Oof

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:56 AM

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Ikr TwT

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:56 AM

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Mosquitoes

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Are just

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ABDKDHFHDID AAGHHHHJHH

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Yk?

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:57 AM

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You tell me TwT

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:57 AM

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😅

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:57 AM

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We have these things where you can light it up and it'll smoke them

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:57 AM

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Oh those!

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:57 AM

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My house is currently now like a weeds den 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:57 AM

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Damn

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:57 AM

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But but

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Mosquitoes not bothering me is a good trade ☺️

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:58 AM

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Truly

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A blessing

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Because no annoying mosquitos or the bumps they leave 🥰

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:58 AM

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The bumps 💀

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:59 AM

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They're itchy on a different level istg

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:59 AM

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My skin is very sensitive so any insects that touches it gets me an automatic itching and some light swelling 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 2:59 AM

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SAME 😭

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And ik people are always like "Leave it alone for a minute and it'll be better" BUT THAT ONE MINUTE IS LITERAL HELL 😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:01 AM

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Yup yup 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:02 AM

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Like, I understand the motive but I lack the drive to not scratch it because ITS FUCKING ITCHY 😭😭😭😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:02 AM

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And they ASKS why don't you just not scratch it or why is it a big deal?

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:03 AM

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Like, have they even had a mosquito bite? Or is their skin just causally made of wood

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:03 AM

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My brother In God. My legs has been covered by wounds cuz of these multiple times throughout my life.

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:03 AM

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Mine too 😭

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But more so my arms

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:04 AM

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TwT I've been called a saving bank cuz they look like coins TwT

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My arms not so much.

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It's very rare.

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:04 AM

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high dome TwT I've been called a saving bank cuz they look like coins TwT

😭

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Sometimes I scratch them so much they bleed and my mom always teases me about it

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:09 AM

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empty field Sometimes I scratch them so much they bleed and my mom always teases me about it

The bleeding is real

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It's the only option 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:10 AM

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Truly 😭

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It's still itchy after though and that's what makes it hell

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:11 AM

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That's why I'm so used to things bleeding TwT

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They get nervous tho 😭

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Tho I am not allowed to bleed much

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:11 AM

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😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:11 AM

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If I bleed, I'll just be a bit light headed TwT

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:12 AM

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Do you have anemia? Are you okay?

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:12 AM

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Idk 😭

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I'll only notice I'm bleeding when I feel a bit dizzy 😭

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My pain tolerance is so high 😅

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:12 AM

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Mine isn't

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Like

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It's genuinely so bad 😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:13 AM

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It's better than me 😭

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I just get wounds and stuff without noticing

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:13 AM

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😭 do you feel pain?

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:13 AM

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Like I'll just see a wound and I'll be like "oh."

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:13 AM

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empty field 😭 do you feel pain?

I do. But it's small and only when I see it ig

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:14 AM

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high dome I do. But it's small and only when I see it ig

Bro that's not good 😭😭😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:14 AM

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It's fine 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:14 AM

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No 😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:14 AM

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Had a fight with my lil brother and I wanted to hit him with my arms

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:15 AM

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?

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:15 AM

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My left arm got hit by a small metal bar but a bit sharp on the wall.

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:15 AM

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Ouch

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:15 AM

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I can see a bit of my bones cuz of it back then

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:15 AM

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OH MY GOD

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:15 AM

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Genuinely just noticed and said

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:16 AM

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DUDE 😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:16 AM

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"Why are you guys nervous? Just clean it TwT "

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:16 AM

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Because anyone else would've been screaming 😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:16 AM

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Literally just gone to wash and clean it

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:16 AM

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Bro has the pain tolerance of a marine 😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:17 AM

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I'm sorry I just don't panic but feel disgusted cuz it might be infected if unwashed. 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:17 AM

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😭

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That's fair actually

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:17 AM

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It was back then dw.

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It's a scar now 😔

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:17 AM

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How long ago did it happen?

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:20 AM

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Oh was like a few years ago ig

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:20 AM

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Alr

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:20 AM

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Lmao a solid door hit me in the head and my left arm recently

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:21 AM

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Ow

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:21 AM

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Apparently it's injured 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:21 AM

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Dude 😭

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How well can you move it?

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:21 AM

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Can't lift stuff...

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Like even small stuffs

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:21 AM

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GO TO THE ER!!!

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:22 AM

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Dw I dealt with it 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:22 AM

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How 😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:22 AM

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It's slowly healing dw.
Just rest it and stuff, plus I consulted

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My job literally needs me to lift heavy dead people in coffins 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:23 AM

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NOOO DUUUDE

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:23 AM

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I wanna work sb.

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Dw I'm not 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:23 AM

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You gotta be fit to do that job 😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:23 AM

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Last time I tried.
Even the small metal stuffs can't even be lifted

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:24 AM

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empty field You gotta be fit to do that job 😭

I'd say it's just strength

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:24 AM

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high dome I'd say it's just strength

Probably

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:24 AM

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I'm average 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:24 AM

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I'm below 😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:24 AM

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empty field I'm below 😭

What, are you skinny? 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:24 AM

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My waist is 25 inches exactly

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😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:25 AM

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Omg 😭

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I Mean that's lowkey good if you're good with it

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:25 AM

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I'm 5'10

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Is not healthy

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:26 AM

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It isn't 😔

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Just make sure to fill your required calories for the week.

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And day

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Nutrients are important 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:26 AM

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I'm getting there

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Food is just

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:26 AM

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Mhm that's good.

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:26 AM

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Difficult to consume sometimes

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:26 AM

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Dealing with ||Ed||?

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:27 AM

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Anorexia I think

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Is not diagnosed but everyone keeps saying I have it

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:27 AM

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Ahh that's that

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I Mean. Just do what you need to do

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:27 AM

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I'm trying

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But eating is hard sowmtimes

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:27 AM

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And that means it's good.

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Effort is good

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I like it

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I'm proud of your efforts.

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:28 AM

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😊

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Ty

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:28 AM

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If you're struggling with nutrients, a couple of supplements and some change in diet will do.

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Sometimes it's just very weird to consume other things like others.

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Off putting and sometimes disgusting ngl

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:29 AM

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It's not what I'm eating as much as it is getting myself to eat

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I like food

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I just don't have an appetite

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:29 AM

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Ahh

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:29 AM

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Or I ignore it when im hungry

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Mostly the first one though

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:29 AM

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Then make a consistent schedule. It might be some hormonal stuff and other factors.

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Especially when stressed, it does come a bit there.

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I have an alarm for eating TwT

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That says a lot for me lol

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:30 AM

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My mom makes me eat dinner every day or at least most days

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:30 AM

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high dome I have an alarm for eating TwT

I have an alarm for showering if it makes you feel better

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:30 AM

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I forget sometimes that I need to eat then bam! It's the third day now 😭

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:30 AM

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Yep 😭

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:31 AM

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empty field I have an alarm for showering if it makes you feel better

Mutual suffering is not my cup of tea TwT

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But efforts are. 💟

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:31 AM

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❤️

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Truly

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:31 AM

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Mushrooms are so good. Omg

empty field Jan 8, 2025, 3:32 AM

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I respect your opinion but I prefer tomatoes TwT

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 11:57 AM

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I don't really think

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Idk what's happening

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But it feels so different

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Idk what it is tbh

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It's so damn cold

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Smth happened and idk what it is

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If smth is wrong and they didn't tell me

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Then yeah

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Sorry but

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Let me rest.

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I wnana shout so much

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It would have been okay with just the usual

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But it is just

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"Oh sorry you had to worry"

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Like wtf.

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I just wanna scream

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That's the damn whole thing

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Yk sometimes I don't know anymore

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The sudden pause

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The sudden disappearances

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Like yeah it was annoying and off putting

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But damn

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It was like an ok

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Just that

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That damn okay

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 1:35 PM

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I don't get it anymore

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 2:30 PM

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I'm chill now dw

high dome Jan 8, 2025, 3:43 PM

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Haha..

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Lowkey wanna kms rn

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Mhm fun

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Near my departure to somewhere

high dome Jan 11, 2025, 1:35 PM

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Mhmmm

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Love it when i just feel a sudden need for reassurance

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I'm sorry for what I am in the past. I wish I could've done more

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Yeah Ik rn I'm needing for reassurance that no one Will leave again.

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It seems to happen

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Whether I want it or not

high dome Jan 12, 2025, 9:30 AM

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Another note in case I just do it.

high dome Jan 14, 2025, 10:46 AM

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||Wow..
I'm so goddamn jealous
I just cannot take it for real.
Yk when you have a food you savour and some random fly is hovering over it? Yeah, It makes me want to stab someone. I just don't like it.||

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And my order hasn't been refunded yet it's marked as refunded. What is this day?

high dome Jan 14, 2025, 11:30 AM

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I'm taking a bath just to cool me down.

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I just really don't wanna say stuff. It just makes me feel so vulnerable and honestly.

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I'm afraid of it all toppling down.

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I don't wanna say no more.

high dome Jan 17, 2025, 5:58 AM

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Mhmm I swear. If I didn't get Lucky today, I'll just lose my marbles.

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Keyboarding exam without any proper announcement is unreal.

high dome Jan 18, 2025, 3:03 AM

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Another day, another push off.
I detest myself truly.

high dome Jan 21, 2025, 12:02 AM

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Examsss wish me luck.

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Mhm I love it rn

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Positive vibes rn

high dome Jan 26, 2025, 1:18 PM

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yk when you just wanna run away from your house?

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I am fed up with people

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I am so damn ready to just move out.

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At least when I am alone only then can I be at peace.

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it felt nice being alone last time and every time, because I don't need to worry about other people in my life.

high dome Jan 27, 2025, 11:24 PM

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I want to end it all

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I am not good rn. I'm nervous

high dome Jan 28, 2025, 7:41 AM

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Fell off a cliff this day.

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Thought it was fun to jump

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And I still am disappointed in my scores.

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Might be intentional.

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Haha.. I wonder if someone cares enough.

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It hurts sm..

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I'm taking pain killers

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I need to numb the pain

dusty plume Jan 28, 2025, 1:14 PM

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Dawg why nobody helping this man 😭

dusty plume Jan 28, 2025, 1:14 PM

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high dome Thought it was fun to jump

Brother don't harm yourself

dusty plume Jan 28, 2025, 1:15 PM

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high dome I want to end it all

It's not worth it at all, you will at some point come out of this, it WILL get better.

high dome Feb 2, 2025, 10:08 AM

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I feel bad yet proud of my decisions

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I stand firm in it

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Bought smth for 200 when the market price is at 3k or possibly 9k

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Just a bit dirty, it's in an okay condition like I'm happy it was there.

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Cleaning it and refurbishing it would be nice and imma do it later.

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Other people sucks and idk if I did right, followed my instincts on this one.

high dome Feb 2, 2025, 1:03 PM

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It feels bad

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I'm just on my thoughts again

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Yeah, my body dysmorphia is there again

high dome Feb 2, 2025, 1:58 PM

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Hopefully this time, I can manage myself cuz last time and even now I'm still trying to not starve myself and more..

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They did made it a bit uncomfortable but I'll just take a bit of time then I'll go

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Back.

high dome Feb 5, 2025, 4:35 AM

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I'm a Failure

high dome Feb 7, 2025, 6:16 PM

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Wow.. Too many sad thoughts

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Not all persistent but spur of the moment

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Rn

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I just feel lonely ngl

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Nothin bad much

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Just want to cry??

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Idk, I'll do smth later

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Clean the house

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Seems nice

bold edge Feb 7, 2025, 9:18 PM

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Beautiful

high dome Feb 8, 2025, 3:01 AM

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A little reassurance would be nice?

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That's not what I want to hear.

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It's tiring. To be honest

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Haha.. They don't get it

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I was happy then bam.

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Day by day, I really feel like not expecting anything like how I do to my parents would be the best thing.

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Like it's a simple thing really, I don't wanna hear that truth.

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Maybe that's why I also say it in times when they're not awake.

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Because they tend to make it worse.

high dome Feb 9, 2025, 3:57 PM

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Taking care of my grandma right now as she is in pain, normal stuff like calming her down and massaging her to reduce stress and pain. Anything that's normal and the expectation I have for myself.

high dome Feb 9, 2025, 4:21 PM

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Now I'm waiting for her to sleep so I can sleep too.

high dome Feb 9, 2025, 4:52 PM

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I'm back home

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Saw a kid who looked unhappy outside, gave her some chocolate and comforted her while telling her to go inside as it is unsafe rn.

high dome Feb 10, 2025, 6:10 AM

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Am I really enough?

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Idk honestly

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I dislike myself

high dome Feb 10, 2025, 6:48 AM

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This disgusting feeling

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Being too self aware is a curse.

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I analyze my actions

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To the point that I'm not sure anymore

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Am I manipulative or just innocent?

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I mean, it was of no intention.

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My body needs to change

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I need to

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Body dysmorphia really is nice

#

Heavens forbid

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I try to be okay

high dome Feb 11, 2025, 11:13 PM

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Anyways regardless of this

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I think life is pretty much okay

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There are things I wish i
could've handled better.

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I still wish for the people from my past, some good luck and for them to be okay.

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It's hard to forget the good times, but I also know that the bad parts existed.

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It's a bittersweet memory

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But when I look at it more

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I think it is nice

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That I've met them in my life.

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That they were a part of me

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In times were trouble was there,
they were nearby.

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Although unconventional, they made my life better.

#

They made it sweeter, fun, and most of all. They added meaning to it

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I am not a good guy.
I just am, me.

#

I'm a bit different now, I've learned from my mistakes and it in turn made me into something that I can say, I am proud of.

#

Although I tend to get nervous, anxious, and sometimes exaggerated. I try to enjoy what's in it for life, I'd like to end it but unfortunately my life isn't just a series of me and my memories but rather, a collection of me and others.

#

I get times that I just have the need or feel it, but it really is okay nowadays. I'm much more stable perse, and I like it.

#

I may not be able to express it but I'm slowly building towards the day I can say that.

#

_ _
I love it all

#

It's hard and rough but it's getting there.

#

Even if my ways stumble, fumble, and sometimes goes to rubble. I still wake up, stay up, and cheer up because the day isn't just about that.

#

It's about everyone around me and myself.

#

From the people that helped me

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Thank you.

#

The past may be thorny but thank you.

#

My gratitude is high, for the experience and things you've showed me are the best things I ever had and will continue to have.

#

I now became more of a person I can say that I'm proud to be. As per other people's words:

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more

accepting, generous, thoughtful.
kind, happy, grateful, and most of all. Alive

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Depending on the circumstances, less humble as my old buddies would say.

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More eccentric too TwT

#

Chatty = ❎

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Noisy = ✅

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Better term imo

#

Pfft, sometimes I take a look back and laugh at my mistakes.

#

I really was the worst

#

Eh, I think I'm pretty okay now.
I don't plan on being bad again

#

It's hard to be human Ngl TwT

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That's all of it for now.

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Take care and be safe.

high dome Feb 12, 2025, 12:44 PM

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Laying upon my bed,
the world grows weary.
Things that used to be funny,
now seems uncanny.
Once resting place, now my tomb.
When will I succumb? I asked.
Lost in the sea of madness,
My mind degrade, from
this heavy day, shall I evade.
Happiness is not what I seek,
But the comfort of death is meek.
Will my loved ones ever forgive me?
If things aren't meant to be?

#

Direction

#

I need it.

#

I've been crying for the past few hours

#

Sleeping and crying is the mode today.

#

My body is so deprived of dopamine, it is bad. From coffee, chocolate drinks, to other stuff, and more.

#

Focus is going downhill, I'm mustering the required energy to study but nah my brain says I gotta do this instead.

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Be more happy it says

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I'm not happy???

#

I'm. Not a junkie for it damn.

#

I don't wanna talk with anyone right now and I just really would love to be in my room to cry and try to be okay.

#

Yeah, I might not be eating atm but I think it's only gonna be 3 days

high dome Feb 12, 2025, 4:33 PM

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Am I okay?

#

I'm not sure anymore. If I should

#

Sleep it off me

#

Slepe

#

Sleep

#

If I can

#

Even sleep

#

I do stuff, yet it's not right.

#

Yet it's not enough

#

Haha... Ik what my mom would say and honestly, please don't let that be true.

#

Heaven knows that I try, but somehow I feel that being me isn't smth I should be.

#

Trying to be okay because I want to be better.

#

People say they love you, but the moment things become rough they leave.

#

They turn around

#

Things aren't the thing they thought of.

#

It's okay

#

I don't mind tbh

#

I just felt betrayed

#

My emotions are guilt trip.

#

Why do I even need to feel that?

#

Isn't it bad? To feel that way?

#

Lecture.

#

Being quiet is smth they say not to do but they act like that when you say smth.

#

Honestly t this point

#

I'd rather talk to people that might hurt me

#

Just so I can at least get something

#

At least my emotions aren't labelled as smth bad.

#

Nor would I be made to feel that way.

high dome Feb 12, 2025, 5:31 PM

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End it all?

#

Wouldn't that be good?

#

Wonderful ideas

#

Onto my head

#

It's so windyyy

#

Time to chug Down coffee

#

I'd rather feel the palpations than have nothing

#

Who needs to be good?

#

I'm sick of being the good good

#

I wanna do smth bad for once

#

Mhm no one needs to know what happens next. Hehe

high dome Feb 12, 2025, 7:07 PM

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Coffee and no eating aitn a good

#

Combo

#

My heart does not like it

#

Please reap my soul

#

, scythe my life

#

I like to think this will affect me dangerously

#

But nah, it won't

#

Yeah I'm provocative in this. It doesn't work tho..

#

Dizzy

#

My breathing is becoming more erratic

#

Ever thin seem dark

high dome Feb 13, 2025, 12:58 AM

#

Passing out seems appropriate

#

I feel nothing but turmoil in my heart

#

Words that once lightened me, now poke a hole in me

high dome Feb 13, 2025, 4:46 PM

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I'm a monster.

high dome Feb 16, 2025, 5:47 AM

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Am I ever enough?

tribal lintelBOT Feb 17, 2025, 1:52 AM

#

@high dome
Read more here: #announcements message

**Announcement — New Journaling Channel!**

Dear member, we're happy to announce our new #1338240260987027568 channel. You can now create your own space to journal in.

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#The Secret Garden of the Mind