Life Journal / Trying to Get Better , Wiser and Understanding

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W

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Ouch

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real

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Man

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Yea ?

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Thanks

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For what 😭? Welcome ig

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Bro I should start my own journal

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U helped me and Twilight earlier

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You should it will help you

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I am not gonna drink hot water anymore 🗣️🗣️🗣️

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What is blud on about!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

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I had a cold drink it was fun 🗣️

I hereby stop drinking hot water no matter the consequences

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😭🙏🏻

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Filipinos man

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Man i saw tik tok logo after a long time

I forgor it was a thing 🤡

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💀

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Its banner here 🤠

Insta is my only source of dark humor 🗣️🗣️

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Lol

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And ofc you guys

🙏🏻

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Ong

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Where are you from btw ?

My "I have no enemies" Journey Starts here with this one 🗣️🗣️🗣️

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Philippines

But I'm living in England atm unfortunately

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Woo

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Still nice

Must be having those fish and chips eh

And the bo'oh'o' wotah

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Their fish sucks ass

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😭

Lmao

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I'm still laughing how England got 0 public votes during Eurovision

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Do you not face problems understanding their accent ?

Ive heard its hard sometimes

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Not anymore

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Makes sense if you stayed for too long

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I've only been living here for 3 years and a half

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Thats reasonable amount of time

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Yeah

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Oh its monday again

🤡

I think i have enough money to go gym now 🗣️

I should go gym right ?

I mean why knot

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Free motivation for yaallll 🗣️🗣️

Nowadays nothing seems to be fun i mean , games are no more fun ,youtube is no more interesting, reels and shorts are basically doom scrolling atp . Things are becoming uninteresting slowly . Maybe i will take a break

Mentally am here rn

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I wanna cry a lot listening to this man i feel lonely

Good Night Journal

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Hello Journal

Its 2 am again

Am awake now

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Hi

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Hello

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Are too many thoughts bad ? Idk

I try my best to keep everything to myself

But i guess i need to work a lot on it

But its just me talking in my journal tho

I have never asked my irl friends for help . I have always felt unheard . I feel like i am that person who fills the void

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Ig it depends on what thoughts

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You havent slept

Lol

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I need to wash my uniform lmao

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Lol good luck with that 😭

Everyone has imperfections no body is perfect , but i feel i am the imperfect with exception. I am just too bad in everything. I wish she was here to listen to me. I thought i was heard when i told her my problems . Now its hard to tell anyone my problem man its just sad .

I am too negative man

How much of my journal is even

Positive

If i were given a second chance at life

I will not want it

I would rather live alone in the limbo

Everyone's got problem

Mine are nothing special

I guess i should just suck it up

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skibdi toielt

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My brain is not accepting it man

I still see her in dreams

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sigh

am tired of everything man

Feelings can change so easily, trust can change so easily , Emotions can change so easily . Its just unreal
I remember telling her no one wishes me on my birthday , so she said "i will" she started to remember it everyday and would tell me happily "Hey i remember your birthday" i was like so someone cares huh. I remember her's too but unfortunately it doesnt matter now . She forgot me so its not even an effort to forget about anything about me . These things might seem small to a lot people but sometimes small things make so much things special .

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Am having my medications

I feel better than before

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Dude

You

Need to

Not open

Discord all the time

What are you expecting

She wont be here now

She has moved on

It is over

Yep true

I cant call them friends , no they are just my classmates . They only feel the need to message me when they need help with academics . I will surely reconsider whom i call my friend and i will start using the term classmates more as they only mean business when they message me

matter of fact i wanna block em

but

that is just too mean i think

ill do some stuff

Damn i do feel like the last option lol

I dont feel , **i am **the last option

so many times and i fail to notice

Sometimes i wonder what will happen if i actually stop giving a damn

but then i feel they are human too and deserve a chance and we all make mistakes

anyways who cares when you have tons of assignments to do lol

see ya journal

Thanks for listening to me

things feel overwhelming without her

i need to be my old self again lol

you can do it ❤️

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I have done all the assignments rn just need them to be approved by the teacher

Now am free

What do i do

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I don't know, read law

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Real

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Why read law when you can break law

Lmao am bad at jokes nvm

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I am reading this, watch out

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+1

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Its gonna rain

Pretty heavy storm

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free shower

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Yeps

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I love your vibe homie

Much love and blessings for you

you will do great keep improving ⭐

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Much love and blessings for you too my guy

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Thanks a lot for your kind words i wish the same for you

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Its your great perspective

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Man the electricity here has been cut off for too long

I remembered the power bank and now my phone is at 15%

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I am back journal 🗣️🗣️

Am gonna sleep soon tho

What am i looking for in the middle of the night

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helo journal

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This book goog . Read Till Page 22 today

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Yoooo

Hello

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Yoooo

Hello

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I stole old books from my school to sell them lmfao

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Lmao bro took revenge in her own way

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this book is fucking fire

read it all

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Yeps i like it till now

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that is admission to a crime if your school decides, I'd recommend you delete it

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Will do fs

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Bro 😭🙏🏻

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Ikr, the Liberian actually let have them

*me

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Well then its not stealing ig alex you cant ask her to delete now lol

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welp

god knows

law is fucked

you never know what someone will accuse of without evidence

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Nah. Basically old books from my school were being thrown away into a bin and I was kinda disappointed about it because I love books and I felt sad for Authors so I asked if I could have them. The librarian decided fine and I took as many as possible before they were chucked away into a box to be thrown away

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The teacher said put your name in the incall message and leave

yayayyaya 🗣️

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yeah sorry not reading allat

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free attendance no study

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💀

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lol

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W

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My school is fucked anyways

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a lot of them are

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No one gives a shit

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W indeed

I have two more books

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Not really. Some schools are decent but overall my school is academically not good

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am gonna read them aswell

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Noiceee

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thats why i said a lot not all

lol

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Guh sorry

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why be sorry

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I just woke up 😭

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no need to be

These two

Bangers

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ATOMIC HABITS

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YES SIR 🗣️

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I WANNA READ THAT BUT IT'S EXPENSIVE IN HERE 😭

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me who got three of these for around 4$ hardly

ill send you lol gimme ur address

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It's £14 in here. I do not have the money for it

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OOOF

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Real

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nah

14 pounds is

kinda

expensive

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Yeah

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and that too for just 1 book

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Our economy is shiii

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🗣️

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go have some breakfast and get fresh since you just woke up

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Alright, thanks

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see yaa

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Go read to ease your mind

Baaaaaai

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i have read 20 pages already but alr

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baaaaaaaai

Nvm am gonna have some tea ☕

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Hello

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Ooohh i have these both

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Niceee also hello smiley

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i’m unsure about the money one but i do have atomic habits

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hi

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Have you read it ?

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nah

i don’t like self help books

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💀

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i mostly read romance or fantasy

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My father reads all those

like he has them

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Nice

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yea bro they’re boring

i already can’t read

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😭

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that’s why i need interesting stuff

😭💀

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They are interested in their own way 🗣️

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for some people

not me

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Yeps

Wyd

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Nm

Wby

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these acronyms are getting out of hand

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Lmao 😭

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I am chatting in main 😀

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I want to drink cold coffee 🗣️🗣️

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Read till page 45 Today

50 Pushups
50 squats
Done

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Weather today is quite unstable

Just like most hearts

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Gotta love it when my bro breaks my earphones and now refuses to buy me another ones 🗣️🗣️

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I am taking a break from dc

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My mind is not at peace

Idk why

I have tried everything

Sleep isnt helping
Reading isnt helping
Going outside didnt help
I met my friends and that also didnt help

Mind and heart both want peace but arent at ease

I am getting angry/annoyed at small things but still trying not to let it out

I have exam on monday

And

I honestly have no idea

What to do

Small things overwhelm me

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I am not ok

I say it all the time

But

No

Its not the case

I have accepted that everything was my fault

But

It doesnt help me

I dont feel better

Infact i dont feel good at all

My objective or motive is not that i want to feel good/happy

But the

Problem is

Something inside me

Makes me feel not so well

My head is heavy

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

What was it all for

Its already been over a week

Tbh just give up man

You are not worth it

why did it give me so much comfort

Why did i feel

I was deserving

Why did i feel

Life can be better

Why

i have this abstract feeling

No matter how much i keep it inside or let it out

I dont feel good

I mean

I was just like this before

But now

I cant be like that

Like i used to be

I wish i could go to the past

Where everything was going fine with her

I just want to talk to her

Please

God

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Have you eaten recently?

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Yea

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How do u

Delete a thread

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Hello its me i think

I closed this thread most probably because i was talking too much

My exams are nearly over

Its just the practical exams

I remember starting this thread during my past sem practicals ig

What i have learnt from all this that happened in the past months is , Life either goes your way or it doesnt , if it does ,dont be happy because it was meant to be . And if didnt go according to you , then there is no need to be sad as it was going to happen anyways

And in tough times no one is going to help you

Its you who will help you

I mean sure they can comfort you or listen to you which can be perceived as helping . But to get out of that situation is your own job.

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Now what i have learnt about moving on and stuff is that we need to change if they have , its for a reason , lets accept it . And change ourselves for the best of us . I mean whats the point in staying the same and gloomy and negative and what not . If we dont change and let it hurt us and we hold to it and someday in few years that person meets us or just out of curiosity checks how we are doing now and see the same old us . Wouldn't they say they did better just leaving us ? So forgive but dont forget and keep the good work up

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Its gonna be 2 months soon

Well not that it matters now

But i have some gym motivation lol

I have won but at what cost

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Good Night Journal

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Gm Journal

Exam on Saturday after that ill be free for some time

I guess ill close this journal

Again