#Rant yap❗

1 messages · Page 7 of 1

plain kindle
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I don’t want to eat

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I feel sick

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I’m just gonna distract myself from eating, probably nap or do some other activity

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I want to cry

plain kindle
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My vision went white and I just collapsed, uhh

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I’m not sure if I should be worried

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My whole body felt like, numb? I couldnt feel myself falling

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My vision just went white and I collapsed forward

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It’s probably nothing.. I’ll be fine

plain kindle
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I didn’t eat anything today except 2 tangerines lmao

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At least the week’s over, now I can finally just be left alone

young mantle
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I think thats just her way of caring about you, no mother wants their child to be cutting or thinking about suicide right, however, I do think she should be more caring and actually put in more effort to help you

plain kindle
plain kindle
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I’m trying to actually eat good today but I already threw up lmao

cerulean quartz
plain kindle
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I went out to eat with my cousin and I threw up again

plain kindle
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In the morning I got into a small argument with my mom while leaving to my dads which honestly messed up my mood the entire day. So yesterday my cousin (step-brother) invited me to go to the beach today and I told my mom about it, I told her I needed to wake up really early and that I left tomorrow. The next morning, today, I had an alarm set up but slept through it. And then when I woke up, by a phone call that my cousin was almost here and I had 20 minutes to get ready and get all my stuff together, I rushed up and started packing everything. That’s when I needed my mom for something to help me with my packing, then finding out she wasn’t in bed and was outside, fully dressed in the yard. I got a little upset about the fact she was already up and dressed for the day and didn’t want to wake me up when she saw I was still asleep, but I didn’t say anything about it because I was also in the fault for sleeping late and over my alarm. I called her and kept trying to hurry her because I had less than 10 minutes atp and was panicking, this making her angry and upset at me. She began yelling at me and questioned me why I didn’t just get up earlier, I told her I slept through my alarm. This apparently made her even more upset which then made me angry because I hate it when people are yelling at me. I yelled back and questioned her on why she couldn’t wake me up if she saw me asleep still and knew I had to get up really early today, she responded by just saying it wasn’t her responsibility and just kept on blaming me when she could’ve helped. So at this point we’re just screaming again each other while I rush around the house packing, that is until her boyfriend joins in. I was in my room and he begins screaming and yelling about me and how it’s my fault and how horrible I’m being, I stayed in my room when he kept yelling because I seriously did not want to argue with him, and by the fact I was already panicked and upset I would end up saying something bad so I just …

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(Word limit) … controlled myself. I was gonna go off on him which I wish I did but I didn’t want to be bothered anymore. When I stayed in my room all I heard was the screaming and yelling outside which honestly made me feel like terrible and I began crying. I hate him so much, why does he always try to find a reason to join in the argument? He’s just making it worse. I ignored his yelling, all I got was “Just let her! It’s her fault anyway, why the f^k is she blaming you?! She’s acting -“ and then I closed my door to ignore the rest of it. And just to clarify, I wasn’t blaming her. I was yelling back on why she couldn’t just wake me up if she knew about all the plans. He gets on my nerves all the time, If he starts to get in my face again I’m gonna punch him in the mouth. He’s so annoying and I just want him to leave. Me and my mom were okay afterwards, like every argument we have. Oh but he just had to be apart of it.

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He gives me the biggest headache, I can’t even deal with him anymore

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If I’m going to hell for my poor choices that I do from my mental health, then he better go for sexually assaulting a child, looking at her while she changed, and making her life horrible.

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I’m so done with this shit

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I need him gone

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Some good news, I ate good today except for the fact I threw up twice.

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But I’m still dizzy and lightheaded, and I have a headache

plain kindle
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My step-brother is drunk and is arguing with his girlfriend

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He’s just yelling at her

scenic fog
plain kindle
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True but they always argue especially over the phone, he’s just always yelling and it gets annoying

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Also he’s drunk so he’s acting different

scenic fog
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you better off just locking ur room room whenever hes like this

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so you can avoid any scenario

plain kindle
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I know, and I can’t since we share a room

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So he’s just laying down yelling, more angry and defensive since he’s drunk

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I’m just gonna try to block his voice out with my headphones, I don’t want to hear all of that lol

scenic fog
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or go to ur parents room if its empty

plain kindle
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I’ll try to go to a different room, there’s only 2 and the living room. 1 is the one we share and 2 is my dads and step-moms room. Also, there’s too many people in the living room, all drunk as well, so it’s too noisy there. I’m not sure if my step-mom would let me stay in their room since it’s night and they’re gonna go to bed in a bit, plus my little brother could be in the room which would make them not want me to go in

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My step-brother is going to bed rn too so I don’t think I need to switch

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I just found it odd since he also suggested that I should get drunk with the other adults

plain kindle
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I feel like shit

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Like always

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Why have I just been waiting

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Waiting to attempt

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I’ve been wasting time

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I already planned it

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Why am I wasting that time?

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Why am I waiting thinking something will change?

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Nothing is gonna change, it’ll never change

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It’s same each time

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At least that’s how it feels

plain kindle
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Why am I just letting time pass?

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Nothing is going to change

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I’m just dumb to think it will

jovial wraith
plain kindle
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I want to relapse

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I’ve been clean for some time

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The thoughts of wanting to harm my moms boyfriend are becoming horribly

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To the point where I plan ways to do so without even realizing it

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I just want him gone

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Him staying here is driving me crazy

plain kindle
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That way I’ll be able to relapse and clean up well

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I only have bandaids

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Theres no bandages wrap

outer stratus
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wow.

plain kindle
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I relapsed

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It’s better than killing myself lmfao

jovial wraith
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oh no

plain kindle
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I’m not eating today

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I don’t have an appetite

jovial wraith
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i would give a hug but my nitro ended so..... rooCozy wanna just talk it out today?

plain kindle
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I made the mistake of telling my mom I was hungry, just to see what she would do. I thought she wouldnt care but she began serving me a bit of food. I don’t know why I do these things, just to see the outcome of it. I didn’t want to eat today but then I had too because I wanted to know what she would do. I’m so dumb

plain kindle
plain kindle
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I think my friend has an eating disorder

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He admitted to me that he was starving himself

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I tried explaining not to do that since it could cause literal death

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But he won’t listen

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I mean, I see where he’s coming from

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I understand him, but since I also have one and not considering to recovery any time soon, I’m not sure how to help him

plain kindle
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I feel like shit

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I haven’t eaten

plain kindle
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I didn’t eat today

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It’s fine

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I feel horrible anyway, so maybe I’ll feel better after

plain kindle
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I haven’t eaten yet again

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My head is starting to feel heavy and I’m becoming really dizzy and lightheaded from every movement

jovial wraith
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please eat something small at least

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like maybe some mac & cheese or some rice?

plain kindle
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I’ll see what there is

jovial wraith
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just eat something small.

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dont want you to starve

plain kindle
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I ate some fruit but then I threw up again

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That’s it

jovial wraith
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i just hope you get to eat something without throwing up soon

plain kindle
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Thank you Clo

plain kindle
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I ate some chips but then regretted it after and tried to throw up but it didn’t work and my stomach just started hurting my and throat and chest started burning

plain kindle
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I checked earlier and I lost weight again

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I went down 3 bmi’s 😭

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Throughout it I meant, like all of this

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I DIDNT JUST MAGICALLY GO DOWN 3 RN, no lmao

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But I did go down 1 bmi in like a week or more

jovial wraith
plain kindle
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I almost passed out at school today

jovial wraith
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are you okay!?

plain kindle
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Yeah

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I finally ate a meal and feel better

plain kindle
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I threw up

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My stomach was hurting and I felt sick so I threw up

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Like 2lbs.. it burned my throat a lot

jovial wraith
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oh no

plain kindle
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I had a bad dream again

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It was just a bunch of gore

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This man, it seemed that he was live and had fallen in the shower with his arms deeply chopped, and his bottom half separated from him. He was screaming in pain, he had curly hair and and facial hair and was bleeding from the mouth

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There was more gore, but that’s the only thing I can remember

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The worse part was that I could control the dream a bit, and I tried to get away from all of that as much as I could but I woke up in shock in the end

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Why do I keep getting these dreams?

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I don’t like them, they’re like nightmares that I’m used too

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I’m not sure how, but whenever I have them they feel the same way as having a ptsd episode since I can control parts of it and it’s just disturbing and gross

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I hate it so much

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Sometimes I’m afraid to fall sleep because then I’ll have gore dreams

plain kindle
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Im afraid

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The gore, one part of it happened in my room. And now I just feel weird and scared

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I’m panicking a bit but I think I’m just tired

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I’m afraid to fall asleep though, I don’t want those dreams again

jovial wraith
plain kindle
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I woke up at least 3 times last night from nightmares 😭

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It’s either always gore, or I’m always dying

jovial wraith
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are you okay Baloni?

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want some cuteness

plain kindle
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My mom told me she wants me to lose more weight even though each time I show her I lost weight her reaction is always worrying about it. Does she not actually care? Maybe I was right, she doesn’t actually care. She just wants me to be as thin as possible.

jovial wraith
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Baloni.

plain kindle
jovial wraith
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want to see a cute character in a game i got?

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meet Tri

WIN_20240928_12_41_14_Pro.jpg
plain kindle
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Aww

jovial wraith
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just a little creature

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Tri is just a creature of cuteness

WIN_20240928_15_00_42_Pro.jpg
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as i describe Tri.. " tri is a little freak but i love them"

plain kindle
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My mom told me her boyfriend was gonna leave, now that was almost 2 months ago now. When is he gonna be gone, or is she just using him for sex, money, and work? Are they trying to fix their relationship? Why would they want to do that, there’s not point now. It’s already ruined, I’m ruined because of it. He needs to leave, I want him to leave.

lethal bobcat
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its not healthy to lose weight that rapidly yk

plain kindle
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I’ve already lost weight and already have been. She’s been wanting me to lose more and more weight since I was like 8. I don’t care, if it’s for my health it’s okay. But she wants me to lose it so I can look, as I quote “skinny and pretty”. She wants me to lose weight for looks, and so that she looks like a better mom

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And now each time I do lose weight it’s always the same reaction, “Oh my god honey, are you okay?” and then she goes back to not caring at all and wanting me to lose more

lethal bobcat
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in your case id try to understand your mother ngl

plain kindle
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What’s there to understand more? She wants me to lose as much weight so I can look pretty, she’s even said it before. She’s either jealous of me or wants me to eat less when the most I eat is one meal average when I’m not starving.

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She makes comments telling me how “jealous” she is of me, then it turns into worrying, then into her wanting me to lose more

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My dad has even warned her of me because of how low I was eating when I was with him, trying to make her keep an eye on me and what I ate

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Even his family has told me, “It’s okay, you can eat, your mom isn’t here to stop you/it.”

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It’s like they’re more aware of my ed, my dad actually cares when he sees how thin I’m getting, and he doesn’t just push it away

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He warns me and tells me to try and not to skip a meal since it’s harmful

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But ofc my mom is the opposite

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She’s already confusing. And her narcissistic personality just makes it even worse

ornate drum
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i was reading through your whole journal and tbh your mom seems like a nightmare to live with. ||starving || your child just ain’t healthy and is very neglectful. ik you can’t really contact with anyone like CPS or the police since they haven’t done much for you. i really hope you find good people in your life that actually care and are willing to help you get out of this mess.

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had to retype this cuz the other one got blocked :/

ornate drum
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P.S i’m not really sure if this is advice..i’m not too good at helping people let alone socializing in general

strong mulch
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i have had an eating disorder, i forgot what its called but its the one where you think almost every food is unhealthy so you end up eating like less than 1000 calories a day

i started when i was almost overweight and it ended after i reached my goal and realised how weak i got

if im being honest i dont know if this is coincidental but i felt pretty good when i was not eating, and i could see that ppl started treating me better as i lost some weight so i was closer to 'normal'

the problem with what i did is i didnt have enough information, i though jsut because there is an unhealthy aspect to a food that means it is worse if i consume it than if i dont consume it

i think if i were to go back in time and give myself advice on eating it would be the reason i eat this way is because of a lack of information
i did 50% of the research when i should have went 100% and made a strict diet plan that i know is healthy and i know i can follow
now theres things like chatgpt that make this easier
healthy dieting is all about cutting out processed foods, sugar and sodium, if you restrict sodium to 700mg (u might need more if ur a runner or its hot where u live) and cut out sugar and processd foods, as long as you are eating enough of the other stuff you will be good

if the problem is you knnow what to eat you just cant get urself to eat enough, id say try adn put more stuff in that will make it taste better, like for example i struggle to eat my 4 scrambled eggs, so i might put some cheese on it because i find i eat more if there is cheese on it (also cheese means more calories which is also good)

plain kindle
plain kindle
# strong mulch i have had an eating disorder, i forgot what its called but its the one where yo...

Thank you for this, and it really is helpful. But the problem isn’t that I know what to eat and I just can’t get myself to eat enough, (though I will use that advice to help me later on), I’m not really sure what the “problem” is. I starve and restrict almost everyday, and then if I eat on a day I wasn’t supposed too I make myself throw it up, then once in a while I begin to binge and make myself throw it all up again. Or even if I wanted to eat that day I still always feel the guilt and shame and throw up over it. It’s all so confusing, and I’m not really sure where the exact problem is, but for now this whole thing is a problem lmao. And again thank you for the advice, It’ll be useful for me, thank you! 🫶

strong mulch
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like do u make urself vomit it out because u feel guilty, or do u just vomit alot when u eat

plain kindle
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No I’m saying that I do feel guilty after eating, not that I don’t know why. I make myself vomit, but from doing so I begin to feel the urge to vomit more often after eating. Then from also feeling guilt from eating I make myself vomit

strong mulch
plain kindle
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I mean yeah, I’ve realized that already, it’s pretty obvious. It’s something I’ve been doing for a long time that just seems uncontrollable now, but I’ll see what happens or what I can do.

I’m not really sure why I feel guilty, but my guess it’s because I grew up with a mom who I felt afraid to eat in front of because I was afraid she’ll yell or hit me for eating. She was strict on food, dieting, and restricting, and even tried to make me follow that path of hers even if it was by force. It worked but I was around 10 years old and began to not eat much or anything, I was pretty overweight at that time so my mom didn’t care about how little I was eating and only cared about how thin I was getting. So then the years passed and I just kept going deeper into that path that she put me in, always commenting on how prettier I was getting each time I lost a few pounds. All of this along with my horrible body dysmorphia caused me to stay in it ig. You can’t just automatically get rid of a disorder pff, I’ve thought about recovery but I don’t feel like it’s really necessary. But yeah, that’s my guess with explanation

strong mulch
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like thats why ppl with christian parents are usually christian

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or ppl with jewish parents are usually jewish

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its engrained at a young age

plain kindle
plain kindle
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I didn’t eat today

strong mulch
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why do you think in the modern day so many girls are cutting themselves and being depressed? you dont have to answer if u feel uncomftrable with that question, im just wondering because as a man i dont really experience the things that girls experience, and i see so many girls around me going through similar stuff

also is there anything from your perspective i can do/do differently to help them?

strong mulch
# plain kindle I didn’t eat today

its all good dont worry, some days i dont eat either, just make sure you eat more the next day; for stuff like ED you gotta fight back with ur brain, cus ur whole sense of hunger is messed up

its a wierd thing; your body works better when you are fasting, as ur stomach takes up so much of your brainpower, but if you dont eat your body starts disintegrating

ive been trying doing a repetitive action to try and get my calories in, like ill eat some nuts, which i dont like that much but ill jsut do it while watching tv and give myself a pace of like 1 nut every 6 seconds and that way u kinda override ur bodies desires

your desires control u if u are not careful and when u have an ED it seems like ur desires are all fked up

ornate drum
strong mulch
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what is dice

ornate drum
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it was a ||cult||

strong mulch
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oh

ornate drum
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it’s not available anymore thankfully

plain kindle
strong mulch
plain kindle
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Sh is self harm

strong mulch
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ahh ok

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yeah close my friend did that for a while and hes a guy

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very sad :(

plain kindle
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I’m sorry about that, did he recover from it?

strong mulch
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he also is kinda like the type of guy that surrounds himself with other girls that do that

strong mulch
plain kindle
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That isn’t healthy

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Surrounding yourself with negative people or even things that can trigger you is unhealthy

strong mulch
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yeah, but he doesnt do it on purpose it just kinda happened to be that way for him

plain kindle
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Ohh

strong mulch
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but i think hes better off now

plain kindle
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That’s good to hear

strong mulch
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yeah

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it especailly scares me when its like young ppl

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like when i was that young the worst thing i had to deal with was a bit of bullying

plain kindle
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Yeah. It’s concerning at any age but I feel like it’s worse when you’re younger, speaking for myself, it becomes addictive and could become worse as one grows older

strong mulch
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do u have any other outlets other than sh that u use?

plain kindle
plain kindle
strong mulch
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like when u feel bad and stuff, or whatever it is that leads u to cutting and stuff, do u have other things u do to like alleviate that that isnt relapsing? like for example when im really sad or angry ill watch youtube videos or sm to take my mind off it for a while

plain kindle
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Oh, yeah I do. I either draw, read, make bracelets, watch a movie, go on a walk, or anything really

strong mulch
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yeah thats good ig

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i heard the gym is good to get ur mind off of stuff

plain kindle
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Yeah it is

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I did boxing for 2 years and it helped a bit

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But it does become tiring at some point

jovial wraith
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hey baloni, how are you?

plain kindle
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Thank you for this, this actually made me feel better. Tysm! 🫶

plain kindle
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I had some fruit and durros and threw up 1 pound of it

jovial wraith
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you alright tho?

plain kindle
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Yeah

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It just made my throat burn throat

plain kindle
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I ate pizza, 3 slices; and then threw up like 2-3 pounds after

jovial wraith
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at least you ate

plain kindle
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I ate yesterday and lost weight rather than gaining 👍

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Idk how

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I’m confused 😭

jovial wraith
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thats what throwing up does... you eat and throw it up and you could loose weight from it.

at least i think. im not that smart on the human body

ornate drum
jovial wraith
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OH! i cant believe i got that right

strong mulch
strong mulch
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@plain kindle food has calories
every day u burn a certain amount of calories
if u want to gain weight you eat more than the amount u burn
start with 2000 and do that every day for a week and see if u gain or lose and go from there

if u dont wanna track ur calories and ur able to have access to healthy food (it doesnt have to taste good) you can just eat a variety of healthy whole foods and those will feed u enough, and if u eat it till ur full u will be eating enough to maintain weight (cus thats how ur body is tuned from evolution)

health is not = weight gain/loss

weight is just from the amount of food that goes into ur body (not thrown up food)

health is from what u eat
you could lose weight only eating icecream but that would be really miserable and stupid

most likely u need to gain weight rn idk what weight ur at tho

plain kindle
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I told my stepbrother I felt like throwing up and I do, and it wasn’t even because of my ed I just genuinely feel sick from eating chips and his response was “No, stop having an eating disorder” and began laughing

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He doesn’t even know about, or is supposed to know about it

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Why would he respond that way

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And then yesterday I was eating something my stepmom made me and he straight up asked me if I had an eating disorder

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I just denied it and kept eating

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Is it really that obvious? is it the weight loss?

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Did he hear me throwing up? It was only once here at my dads

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I feel disgusting lmao

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I hate myself so much

plain kindle
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I binged for 2 days

plain kindle
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I’m so tired

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I threw up

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I really don’t care atp

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About anything

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I planned my attempt since July

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It’s been almost 4 months

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My mom said I was sick in the head

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Yesterday I think

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I don’t remember pff, days keep passing by so quickly

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I began crying at school

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It was embarrassing but nobody noticed

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Except for one of my friends

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She comforted me

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I was okay

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My head hurts

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I want to relapse, I’m home alone any way

plain kindle
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My friend came over and he just left

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Now I’m alone and feel horrible

bright moon
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@plain kindle yo wana talk? my dm's are open if u want to

plain kindle
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I’m okay ty
It’s just that one feeling you get when you’re alone, lmao sorry

bright moon
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nw lol but fr my dm's are open for anybody, i may not be a listener but ill still help

plain kindle
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Tysm, I’ll keep it in mind

bright moon
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np

plain kindle
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I relapsed

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I have no idea how to take care of deeper cuts lmao

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I saw a bit of the hypodermis layer

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It’s just the top of it

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So I’ll be alr

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I only have bandaids as well

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I’ll have to walk to get some again lmao

jovial wraith
jovial wraith
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baloni, please get professional help. i dont think i can help here

plain kindle
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I know I’m trying ?

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Ty though

jovial wraith
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at least your trying. thats all i care about

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just be careful. i dont want you gone from this world

jovial wraith
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wanna see a cute dragon

lethal bobcat
jovial wraith
bright moon
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@plain kindle Wana see a cute kitty

plain kindle
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Sure

outer stratus
spring wigeon
plain kindle
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It’s okay

jovial wraith
plain kindle
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I think I have an infection on my cuts lmfao

bright moon
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thats not funny @plain kindle

plain kindle
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Mb

ornate drum
plain kindle
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Don’t start an argument here

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Not again 😭

ornate drum
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i’m sorry

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provably wasn’t appropriate for me to respond to their comment

bright moon
plain kindle
plain kindle
jovial wraith
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here.. willow

WIN_20241019_08_04_03_Pro.jpg WIN_20241019_08_04_04_Pro.jpg
lethal bobcat
jovial wraith
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uh no

lethal bobcat
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):

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/j.

ornate drum
plain kindle
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Had a nightmare where I was at school and a girl began forcefully cutting my arm with scissors leaving these big bloody holes on my arm and I ran out screaming and crying for help but didn’t get any response from anyone and I had to continue my school day like nothing happened

jovial wraith
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want cuteness?

plain kindle
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I forgot the journal disappears after a week with no activity

jovial wraith
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i would use the hug emoji but i uh... nitro is gone

plain kindle
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Alr

plain kindle
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I keep having this reoccurring dream where I run away after getting into a bad argument with my mom because I came to her crying since she was going to be gone for 9 months for some reason, and she began saying how terrible of a daughter I am and that I don’t do anything to help her etc. It’s a weird dream

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At least I’m not getting gore dreams again

outer stratus
plain kindle
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Alr

timid thunder
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oh yea ik this gore shit

plain kindle
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I don’t wanna go home so I’m at the park freezing my ass off lmao

plain kindle
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Been clean for 3 weeks and 4 days

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I’m home now

jovial wraith
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hug im proud of you

dusk canopy
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Just when you think your life is bad you see the live of some people that no one should have , I'm a man but if I was in your place I probably wouldn't be alive

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You are the strongest believe in yourself

plain kindle
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I took a nap and didn’t think I’d wake up this late, and I have a lot of work to do for final grades. I’m cooked atp

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And one of my teachers won’t reply to the emails I send them

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I hate him sm like bro do your JOB, the necessity you studied for, the reason you got a job RN

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AND THEN WHEN HE REPLIES TO THE EMAILS ALL HE TELLS ME IS THAT HE CANT GRADE IT CAUSE ITS LATE. ITS LATE CAUSE HE DOESNT CHECK OR GRADE ANYTHING AND HALF OF THE MISSING ASSIGNMENTS ARENT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE MISSING, I DID THEM IN CLASS.

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Im going crazy

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I hate school

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Gonna kms cause omg

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His stupid receding hairline bald headed self can’t do anything right and I’m going crazy

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And now I have to lock in on the other work because i forgot to put an alarm for myself so I’m literally dumb as well

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And my moms being annoying again and we argue every single day

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Istg if her dumbass not good for anything can’t even wipe his own ass laying around all day watching tv drinking and smoking boyfriend even PEEPS in

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On edge rn and nothing is helping I’m literally going insane 😭

plain kindle
#

I’m done everything finally

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I needed to write like 12 paragraphs

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Each assignment needed to be 4 paragraphs and I had 3 of those 🥲

plain kindle
#

Im crashing out

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I hate Fortnite I LANDEF AND OPENED A CHEST AND THIS THUS NOBODY LANDS BEHINF ME AND TAKES MY GUN
HE WASNT EVEN HITTING ME SO I WAS PCIKAZINGG HIM AND MR AND MY GRIENF BOTH FIED SNF NIE WR’RE WSIJTBDISHSIGSUSGDHDVDVSUZV

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😋

outer stratus
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I feel you

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I quit fortnite lol

plain kindle
#

Mike and Paul gon fight

IMG_6773.png
plain kindle
#

Jake won

IMG_6775.png
plain kindle
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GDJVS

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Oh also update I’m still throwing up/purging but not as often and I still restrict or starve, I also still got the same thoughts of wanting to off myself or hurt myself along with the urges of relapsing, AND I’m still getting anxiety and panic attacks with horrible body dysmorphia and ptsd and etc

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But I distract all of that by playing video games soo

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It’s better than facing it tbh, I don’t wanna face the truth (even though Ive already known it for over 5 years now) 😭

plain kindle
#

But ima go run some errands rn tho so breaktimee

plain kindle
#

Slept for 15 hours yesterday

plain kindle
#

I told a friend abt my sh and they were supportivee

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They also had experience of that last year

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Not the same problem as me though, like as deep as I was in it. but they were still supportive and I’m glad

plain kindle
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Happy birthday to my dad

plain kindle
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Isha is alive I don’t care what anybody says.

plain kindle
#

School activities b4 and after (I didn’t take the photos)

IMG_6809.jpg IMG_6810.jpg
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Oh I got sent home for almost passing out 😛

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Forgot to say that

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And I might relapse tonight cause I’m actually so done with all of this 😋 I might delete discord or just leave this server, I don’t use it that much anyway lmao

plain kindle
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I was clean for 5 weeks and 6 days

plain kindle
#

why dont i feel better after relapsing, i always do

pine bison
sick narwhal
plain kindle
#

Thugging it out

plain kindle
#

I forgot about the day limit thing

jovial wraith
#

hey baloni, how have you been?

plain kindle
#

The same

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Just different people

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But better in a way

sweet oxide
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Hey, I was reading like half of the first 4 months and I just wanted to make sure you alright. I see that you’re a strong individual and I am sorry that those things happened to you. I hope you are getting well

plain kindle
#

Thank you, I am getting better. Sort of 😭

plain kindle
#

My mom told me earlier today that we were all gonna die soon and that there’s nothing we can do now

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I then went to my room and began panicking and crying after she told me that bc it triggered me for some reason 😋

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She said it so calm too, like she didn’t care about what she said 😭

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Weirdss

plain kindle
#

Getting a piercing today

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Yipie

plain kindle
#

Felt like a deep pinch but it went away and now I feel no pain at all lmao

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Don’t know abt tmr tho

sweet oxide
#

just take care of it for a while and try not to get it infected (cause it gets itchy and painful)

plain kindle
#

I know lol
Ty though

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Im gonna have to set reminders to clean it daily 😭

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And I already bought saline spray to help it

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So I’m good for now

plain kindle
#

CHAT is it reasonable to Crashout on another girl you’re technically friends with and is friendly to everyone, but gives the guy you like/LOVE (who also likes you back) minute long hugs while she gives you a second of a hug, and who has also said she has liked him before but you’re not sure if she still does 😢. And she hasn’t been doing that until now when me and his relationship began seeming more clingy and obvious. AND SHE DOES IT TO HIM HE DOESNT EVEN WANNA HUG HER

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I’m going insane

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😭

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Also I haven’t been saying anything cause I’ve been distracting myself with that dude
I’m head over heels fr 😞 WHICH IS BAD

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Need other opinions ❗️😢

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AND NOT EVEN THE HUGS SHES JUST TRYING TO BE AS CLOSE AS SHE CAN WITH HIM AND SHES NEVER BEEN DOING THAT BROOHAJAB

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HAINSSNIABNA

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I CANT EVEN SAY ANYTHING OR BE MEAN TO HER BC IM FRIENDS WITH HER AND WE USED TO BE CLOSE SO IT’D BE WEIRDD AUGHHHAHSBAJABANNABBA

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Kill me now omg

plain kindle
#

Oh snap I forgot to say

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I didn’t eat for like 2 days and now I barely ate so yipie

plain kindle
#

Rant yap❗

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It needed a change lmao

plain kindle
plain kindle
#

I might delete this channel

hazy tapir
eager mauve
hazy tapir
#

yeah i saw

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🥺

eager mauve
hazy tapir
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i'm sure you did your best, it's not your fault

hazy tapir
eager mauve
hazy tapir
#

yess of course, but maybe tomorrow? 🥺
it's night for me and i have to presentate at university tomorrow

hazy tapir
eager mauve
hazy tapir
#

okay

jovial wraith
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aw... no...

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i... let me check on her

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annnd i cant even check on her..

eager mauve
jovial wraith
#

yep...

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poor baloni...

outer stratus
#

oh no