frank ivy
I want to drown in your eyes,
without the ability to surface back.
No boats.
No ropes.
No turning around,
not even the chance
to think about running.
I want to feel everything
you have to make me feel.
I want to see the terror
of watching us drift apart.
I want to fear you
for loving every detail of you.
To sink slowly
while listening
to the choir of your voice.
I want to be yours.
Somehow.
I don’t know how to feel properly.
I know I can sound apathetic.
I know I have foolish flaws.
Sometimes I look at the sky
and say I love you
because I saw a star
that could not come close
to your smile.
But i will never tell this to you…
Because im so bad at express myself…
I know I carry that ridiculous jealousy,
wanting you for myself
and only for myself.
I think of love
as that cursed fairy tale
that somehow saves my feelings—
those same feelings
I barely know how to carry,
let alone describe.
But everything in me
points toward you.
I wanted to tell you
that if there is anything inside me,
it is you.
I haven’t been good
at writing love poems
for quite some time.
But I could write you
an entire book if you asked.
I would make Byron jealous
of every poem,
every word.
My dear,
the way you smile
made me hear my own heart beating.
The gentleness in your voice
made me care about loss.
The simple way
you tuck a strand of hair
behind your ear
when you’re excited
felt like a habit
so foreign to my language
that I wanted to understand it.
My dear…
I am terrible
at knowing exactly what I feel.
But this time,
I know that my fear…
can be nothing more
and nothing less
than love.
tell me if loving you
means surrendering every certainty
I ever carried,
then let them drown.
Let every defense,
every wall,
every careful thought
sink into the depths with me.
Because for the first time,
I am not afraid
of what waits beneath the surface.
I am only afraid
of a world
where your eyes
are no longer there
to fall into.
Because if I must lose everything
to keep loving you,
then let everything be lost.
Let the stars forget my name,
let the oceans swallow my echoes,
let time take whatever it wants from me—
but not you.
Never you.
For if your eyes cease to be my horizon,
then every shore becomes exile,
and every breath
a return
to drowning.
)
polar lynx
versed cosmos
so glad man
zinc pond
