#The iron yoke

20 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

timber grove
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The whistles are blown and the iron gates grind,
They give you the dirt, but they ration the mind.
An endless horizon of cinder and smoke,
Where the freedom they promised is shaped like a yoke.

They preach of the future, the glorious dawn,
While draining the well till the water is gone.
Their smallest fatigue is a national dread.
Your collapse at the furnace? just clearing the bed.
The tally is cast and the sentence is cold.
They inherit the palace, your marrow is sold.

They harvest the muscle they hallow the bone.
And stand on your neck while they polish the throne.
It turns every heartbeat but its own into stone.

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@torpid isle

timber grove
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@wintry cargo

distant totem
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BARS 🔥

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this is amazing

timber grove
timber grove
distant totem
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I really love that you used iambic heptameter and your theme is very prominent throughout the poem

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the aabb rhyme is great

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you broke it at the end, but that's common a lot of poems anyway

wicked depotBOT
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*you broke it at the

end, but that's common a lot

of poems anyway*

- Jewels
timber grove
distant totem
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the diction could be improved, but it's difficult to maintain iambic while improving the lexical set anyway

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plus it kind of adds to the 'common man's' narrative

timber grove
distant totem
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tysm for sharing it

timber grove
torpid isle
# timber grove <@1335502511389540393>

sorry for seeing this so late T-T. With that being said this is another piece that just reminds me how good you are with rhyme in your poems in general which is great personally because I am a sucker for it. The themes are very overt and strong and it is very recognisable in your work altogether giving it a sort of memorable edge from you as a poet. Overall another great piece, I loved it!

dapper flumeBOT