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#Desire
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ionic anvil
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limpid wharf
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lovely as it is to have a ping bruv, I am following u soooo
hot pewterBOT
limpid wharf
I do get pinged once already XD
oh damn the typo stays??
aw
ok poem time
I relate to this so overwhelmingly it hurts, the chance to have something, be something better than ever before always gnaws at me and I’m sure many others as well
The last stanza particularly I like, it expresses a kind of desire (name drop!) to keep moving forward no matter what, to achieve what could be regardless of consequence
This might be the favourite so far lolol SLAYYYYY U DID SO GOOD!!!
ionic anvil
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fervent veldt
This feels like a poem standing at the edge of transformation not quite reborn yet, but already burning away the old self. What makes it effective is that the “phoenix” imagery never feels purely triumphant; there’s hesitation inside the fire, which makes the growth feel human rather than performative.
The opening line:
“Everyone craves the spark—
a chance to drown the heavy shadows.”
immediately establishes the poem’s emotional tension. “Spark” suggests hope and ignition, while “drown the heavy shadows” implies exhaustion with one’s current self. It frames enlightenment not as glory, but as escape.
I also really liked:
“For what is rebirth but a quiet death,
of all I once called home?”
because that’s the line where the poem matures philosophically. Most rebirth poems romanticize transformation, but this acknowledges the grief inside growth that becoming someone new often means mourning who you were, even if that version hurt you.
And the ending works well because it shifts from passive longing into active liberation:
“until the fire consumes the cage
and leaves behind no chains to claim.”
The “cage” metaphor ties the entire piece together. The phoenix is not simply rising it is destroying what confined it.
No criticism beautifuly done