I Own No Person

[stoic beacon]

Is it me
That you should order to
Run up the hill and fetch her for you,
To swim across the river and carry her to you,
Fly over to the moon and bring her down to you?

Is it me that you should ask
About
Why she is sad,
Why she is mad,
Why she is rude,
Why she is mean,
Why she is cranky?

Is it me
That should run over to her with a list of instructions to behave?
Is it me
That should stand in her place of accusation?
Is it me
That should answer for all her deeds?
Is it me
That should explain to you all her choices of words?

Is it me that carried her from my mother's womb?
Is it me that sits in her heart?
Is it me that stirs her brain?
Is it me that breathes air into her lungs so she can talk?
Is it me that pushes her to walk?

Why ask me?
I too want to ask
I too want to order
I too want to know the reasons behind her choices

But I cannot

Because just like me, you, and her,
I own no person

Thanks for taking the time to read it, have a nice day.😊

[jolly kelp]

(All feedback is my opinion to take or leave) This poem has a good structure and the meaning is relatively clear, both are positives. The meaning I grasped from this is the struggles of having to act as a sort of mediator or line of communication, if this is wrong when evaluate.

Onto word choice: I feel “About” in the second paragraph doesn’t serve a purpose, cutting it would leave the same meaning while making the message tighter. I also believe “But I cannot” could be “I can’t” with a but being optional. The word choice of this poem is, mostly, relatively casual, so the “cannot” throws me off. Reevaluate those word choices and see what you think.