Whats Next.

[rocky ore]

Dirty laundry on my floor and i cant get out of my bed
looking to my right and left, wondering where you went

Dirty laundry on my floor and i cant get out of my bed
smiling brightly every time that i get your text.

Oh what's next?
Oh you left

Your laugh your smile
Your voice is the only one that i learned to trust

reaching out for your love got me reaching for something i never knew
But you knew
you knew

her dirty laundry on my floor, shes laying in my bed
Knowing your heart has left, and seeing her undressed has me wondering whats next?

because you left.
You left

[slate meadow]

@rocky ore has sent a notification! - @opaque sedge Use /help for help.

[shut swan]

Change the line "out of my bed" to "out my bed" just to aid the flow.

Perhaps, in the first stanza, change "looking to my right and left" to "right then left" just to show the act of looking, if that makes sense?

The "oh you left" Consider writing in italics to show some kind of dialogue.

The "your laugh your smile your voice" - add commas to show its a list.

• "your laugh, your smile - your voice is the only one that I learned to trust"

The repetition ot "but you knew you knew" is quite clunky.

Overall the poem evokes great sadness, and almost disappointment over the fact this person has left.

That is very easily interpreted. With a few tweaks and a few more emotionally evocative vocabulary, this has potential to be great

• @rocky ore

[manic wave]

I love the volta at the end, great work in leading into that.

[rocky ore]

Thank you thank you, I appreciate the feedback for sure. Its my first time trying a more straightforward poem like this so your feedback really does help me

[rocky ore]

Thank you! Your praise is appreciated. I do enjoy adding twists into the poem, specifically at the end where it can hit the hardest