Opposites

[proven pike]

Your touch is warm and soft,
but your eyes speak a lot,
about your detachment
from my soul,
about your unwillingness
to let me take control,

I can see reluctance
in your actions,
I can see aloofness
in your smile,

The way you ignore
every drop of tear
from my eyes,
the way you save yourself
from my highs,

You say, you care,
but your actions
speak the truth,
You say, you love,
but it's not the same
as it used to be
in our youth,

I shower love and affection
but you avoid them
like a plague,
I held everything
out for you,
but that's not what
you want to bear.

Still,
nothing would stop me
from loving you
unconditionally,
Not even the thought
that you would
never accept me.

Sometimes souls never meet,
Sometimes one of them just
runs behind the other.

[willow nebula]

I really like the poem [truly, it’s some amazing writing]

but I feel like commas get kind of misused?

Like, it maybe a preference of yours or you get something I don’t, but personally I feel like they sometimes ruin the meaning of a sentence or make the whole poem look messy [again, that’s just in my opinion]

For example in that:
“You say, you care”
The comma shifts the whole meaning of the verse and I think it would’ve fit better without it. Also, the comma at the end of some verses feels really unnecessary since, well separating verses already gives that break you know

But that’s just what I think— as long as you like what you put up with— you’ve got everything you need

[proven pike]

Many thanks buddy 🙏🏽