An Unforgettable Night

[civic sable]

An unforgettable night

@granite zodiac

[proper oyster]

@civic sable has sent a notification! - @vivid seal @rigid phoenix @chrome warren @hazy aspen @drowsy saffron @eager sigil @static raven @abstract vigil @next vector @noble kestrel @lone field @novel dawn Use /help for help.

[civic sable]

One of my best ones, I'd apprecate some feedback. tried free verse

[granite zodiac]

omg that's so romantic!!

[hazy aspen]

only feedback i can give is that i loved it

[granite zodiac]

EXACTLY

it's incredibly authentic and heartfelt

every sentence drowning in an unfinished love

[civic sable]

aww thank you so much!!

:D

[civic sable]

it isss

[civic sable]

@sturdy tapir @topaz magnet

yk wat dis abt

[topaz magnet]

[civic sable]

just read

@golden crypt yk wat dis abt

:D

[golden crypt]

Lmao out of tense moments comes poetic inspiration 🙂‍↕️

[civic sable]

yep

@dense nest

[dense nest]

Oh the white pages, its night rn, i would read it later or my eyes would be nuked 😭

[civic sable]

fair enough

[next vector]

HOLY SHIT BRONX THIS IS AMAZING
I love how you notice small details and make them poetic

[civic sable]

aww thank you asi

appreciate that

[civic sable]

@sick yarrow

[dense nest]

This is a nice narrative poem.
Imagery is spot on however, the structure could be better I would say, it is a bit clunky.
Some lines are a bit long followed by very short lines that just disrupt the reading flow.
Vocabulary is simple yet elegant.
Anyways, it is a nice poem and I would give it a 7.5/10

[civic sable]

thank you turabb

appreciate your feedback

[sick yarrow]

ohmygod

WHY DIDNT IREAD IT SOONER

WHERES THE REST OF THE POEM

BRONX CMERE

oh i love it

such imagery... such detain

A BIT OF BURNT GARLIC CAN PASS FOR INTENTION?

SOMETHING UNINVITED SAT DOWN WITH US?

PULLED UP A CHAIR?

oh my love this may be my favorite poem from you

where's the rest. post it. i neeeeeeeeed

[civic sable]

It ends there Jinx

But thank you so much for your feedback and kind words

<3

[sick yarrow]

it ends on a comma?

[civic sable]

OH

TYPO LOL

I'm too used to adding commas

[sick yarrow]

thankyou for making me read it.

im graateful.

[sick yarrow]

im still confused on how it ends, im sorry. we should discuss this.

[civic sable]

remove the , and the 'when'

I accidentally uploaded a draft

Oooooooff

[sick yarrow]

😭

unc-ivity showing

but that makes sense

[fair oyster]

@fair oyster

[civic sable]

I was awake for 3 days while writing this

[fair oyster]

Ill get to it as soon as i can

[civic sable]

Sure take your time

[civic sable]

@sand pelican

I have kidnapped you for a few minutes
i hope thats oke

[sand pelican]

Woah this is a great poem

10/10 would read again

the emotional journey is conveyed so beautifully

[civic sable]

Thank you jewels :D

[sand pelican]

but ofc

[civic sable]

ur the bestt

[sand pelican]

-# it's even better cuz u told the story behind it :D

[civic sable]

yea um

yea

[sand pelican]

[civic sable]

[sand pelican]

sorry Im just poking fun

:D

[civic sable]

uh huh
-# i dont mind

[sand pelican]

[civic sable]

[civic sable]

@fickle crest

[fickle crest]

.

Will read it after an hour or Tomorrow sorry

[loud ledge]

.

HOLY.

[long rose]

.