The Eighth Limb, the Ninth Shadow/Восьмая конечность, девятая тень

[timber gyro]

Wait, is this a combination of 2 languages?

or the english lines are the translation of the other ones?

[lethal wolf]

Yeah, this part.

[timber gyro]

I love it man, the way it starts strong as the writer's a true warrior, a boxer but then it shows his soft side in the heart, a desire for true love.
The line "it is not the steel of a sword; it is a blooming flower" shows the writer is used to fighting but this is something new, something soft to him.

[true moth]

the excellence seeps through the fact this is translated.

[true moth]

I'm sure this is better in russian

It treads being generic

being too spelled out

but sometimes its creative

[tawny agate]

Ouf, this is something I could learn from! The 4 last lines were for sure my fave.

I took it as something along the lines of. "For I have failed, love. With the ending sealing it. As a payment made."

For sure the opening was accessible, allowing me as a reader to catch it

[native mason]

Wonderful! @tawny agate has just progressed to level 9!

[lethal wolf]

If you're up for it, I would like to hear your opinion on another poem I have. No pressure. https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1496559386901090355

[tawny agate]

I'm out of my depth for this one. But I did clearly see something. The arc is good. And it's a loose end, which I love. Cause you do trust your reader. 😄

Can I drop 2 short ones. Its tame compared to yours. Why I said it was a bit out of my depth?

(I've maybe written 3 times in close to such a tone)