‘𝒯𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫 𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔭𝔰 𝔞𝔱 𝔫𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱.’

[split tinsel]

“Sweet love” he said,
With lips kissed by a woman much sweeter than I,
And foolish me believed,
That his eyes glazed meant he saw me and was unphased.

He said my hair was like lake,
Ever flowing to the ocean
Then he washed mud in what paved it’s way to sea,
Brow furrowed as murky water soaked into me.

The rotten have drowned,
A pool of water from two everflowing streams,
Why do my eyes hurt?
Why did you hurt me?
She is yours,
And more than I’ll ever be
Lock my heart,
Don’t give me the key.

Any feedback is welcome!!! I really like this one but I’m sure I can improve somewhere 🥹

[silent topaz]

not my style but the font drew me in and the first stanza made me read it so nice

if you want to improve, it's hard for me to figure out how to help because like if you wanted to be like Edgar Allan Poe then that is relatively easy to assist, but just a free verse emotional madam that's different

[split tinsel]

Thank you for the compliment 🥹 I like to dabble in a lot of poetry but the main thing I want is for my poems to read smoothly lol

[silent topaz]

yeah ofc

so smoothly as in free verse, or any structure as like as it reads smoothly

and also, smoothly like spoken word or smoothly as in not difficult to read

[split tinsel]

Smoothly as in free verse, if you don’t mind ^^

[silent topaz]

no no not at all

I've written and read free verse that's still archsic like Edgar Allan Poe (my style), so I understand

do you have a fav poet or poem? by another

[split tinsel]

I do actually! My favourite poet is Emily Dickinson ^^ My fav poem by her is The Chariot/Because I could not stop for death

[silent topaz]

I see I see

the Chariot as in the tarot major arcana?

[split tinsel]

This one :3