#Its Never Over - Rico

50 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

lapis copper
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I wish I could feel time stop —
just for a second…
just long enough
to respect how I feel.

I know time passes and things change,
that life doesn’t cling to the ground,
and that you’ve already taken
one or two steps ahead…

I… don’t really know
where I’m going like this.
I don’t know when this confusion
will finally leave my mind.

I wish I knew
where the stars in the sky went,
and why the hell
the clouds don’t have a shape anymore.

You left
and took with you
important parts
of the world’s composition —
the music that made me whole.

Right now… I am an empty sound,
a small echo with nothing to do,
nowhere to go —
or maybe… just a vast indifference.

I am a little dead,
a bottom of memories
that still remembers what it felt like to be alive,
that… once believed
it had a place in the world.

You were home…
a pain in my chest
and comfort inside misery.

It was disturbingly easy for you…
to reach a point
where you can see me in your rearview mirror.

Should I wave with irony?
Run after you?
Or simply stop loving you?

No… that’s impossible…

I’m sorry… I just can’t.

Maybe I’m just stupid…

But I can’t unlove you.

And maybe…
it’s not that I don’t know how to let you go —
maybe I just never learned
how to exist
without holding on to something that hurts.

Because if I let you go…
what remains?

A room still shaped by your absence,
a silence that knows your name
better than I do now.

I try to imagine a future
where you’re not the center of every thought —
but even there…
something feels unfinished,
like a sentence
missing the only word that mattered.

Time keeps moving —
it always does —
but it drags me with it,
as if I were tied to something
buried too deep to reach.

And I keep asking myself
if this is healing…

or just a slower way
of breaking.

Some days
I almost believe I’m getting better —

even with you in my head,
even when sleep won’t come because of you.

Every night,
the stained ceiling sketches us in crooked lines,
we are a painting… an unfinished one.

I am haunted
by the most beautiful of things —
by dreams, by eyes…
by love.

And suddenly,
I’m right back here,

in the same place
you left me,

pretending I moved on.

So no…
I don’t think this ends
with me forgetting you.

I think it ends
when I learn
how to carry you
without collapsing.

Or maybe…

it never ends at all.

oblique daggerBOT
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granite hinge
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First

lapis copper
granite hinge
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But glad that i got to see your poem

mighty otter
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I like this! I think there are some minor refinements you could make, but nothing serious. This is a long poem, and I write long poetry as well, but when you're writing long pieces also try to consider how you might condense explicit statements into things like metaphors that could give your poem more depth and make it an easier read. Also watch your use of elipcies just because I noticed there are a lot of them, and I think that just using a period would help the flow of this poem in some places. Other than that I thnk this is super good and yea!

sonic geyser
prisma drum
lapis copper
lapis copper
lapis copper
fleet oak
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You know my story so... Let's just say that I felt every single word of this poem. If I didn't know better, i'd say we both are pieces of something that once held us together bear_hugging @lapis copper

lapis copper
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Not that good btw but lol

lapis copper
fleet oak
lapis copper
fleet oak
lapis copper
lapis copper
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Why bro is typing so much SobbinTheLanaDelReyOut im scared

uncut echo
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no no its good i promise i just love poetry so i love to write about it

lapis copper
uncut echo
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hi friend!! before i get into my thoughts on your poem just know that my thoughts and poetry as a whole are subjective, feel free to disagree with me and argue (respectfully) with me!

first off, there are lines here that genuinely stopped me mid-read. "a room still shaped by your absence" is such a precise image, and "a silence that knows your name better than i do now" is soooo quitely devastating. the rearview mirror images works really well too — though i do think moments like "the music that made me whole" undercut lines like these, because its a cliche the rest of the poem is honest too good for.

the fragmented structure — all the ellipses and hesitations — feels earned rather than stylistic, which is so hard to pull off. often you'll see people try to stammer or hesitate in their writing and it just doesn't hit, but with you it does. i think the poem is a little thin in the midsection though. and i know repetition can be a powerful tool — it builds rhythm, it mirrors obsession, it hammers a feeling home — but "empty sound," "small echo," "vast indifference," "a little dead" all do roughly the same emotional work within a few lines of each other, and here i think the accumulation weakens the impact rather than deepening it, for me at least. one of those images, trusted and given room, would hit much harder.

the ending, though, is where the poem earns itself back. the shift from "forgetting" to "carrying" is mature and restrained, and the final ambiguity feels true rather than like a cop-out — which only works because the rest of the poem, even in its weaker moments, is clearly coming from a real place.

overall there's a real writer here. tighten the middle, cut the clichés, and this could be something genuinely special.

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But this is so so so good i really liked it!!

lapis copper
lapis copper
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Your feedback is def something that i LOVED

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Pls

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I would love have you as a follwer if you want ofc

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Just to check my poems when you want

uncut echo
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Yeseyeydyeys where can i follow you

lapis copper
uncut echo
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ohh!! thank you i'm new to this server i didn't know that was a thing!

weak portalBOT
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*ohh!! thank you i'm new

to this server i didn't

know that was a thing!*

- mi113rr
lapis copper
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Thank you so muuch i will lear a lot with you

lapis copper
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Follow system is really useful

oblique daggerBOT
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@uncut echo is now following @lapis copper.

lapis copper
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Thank you mecore

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I hope that i can improve with your feedbacks

chilly vine
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Yooo nice poem Rico yay yay INNOCENT
Are you depressed or something though? 😭
Anyways very emotional mann 😕, nice use of imagery and cool stuff yay NoizeLoves

lapis copper
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Im fineee

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Promise

lapis copper
worthy trout
lapis copper
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Thank you Cherryyyyyyyyy