old cairn
the dark silent rooms become-
bright lively classrooms
I wave at you,
get a new response like always-
happy, crazy, fun i see it all
we sit in a group
planning our next shenanigans
the excitement in your eyes
shows your will
the boring teacher's lesson
makes me dizzy
I look at you
the same moment
you look at me
and the minds click
we think of the same lame joke
even after a hundred times
we still laugh
I see you now,
happy without me
but the same-
cant be said for me
@next cargo @barren jungle @dusty nimbus @winter glacier @lapis pier @open fiber @glacial stag @vast light
pls read it once and tell me the flaws pls
winter glacier
the dark silent rooms become-
bright lively classrooms
I wave at you,
get a new ...
i think it's a bit prosaic (if that's what you're going for, then keep it) but it's pretty good!
old cairn
i think it's a bit prosaic (if that's what you're going for, then keep it) but i...
i want it to be a mix of poetic scenes and real life
does this work for that
winter glacier
does this work for that
oh yeah for sure
old cairn
oh yeah for sure
okie
old cairn
@open fiber
open fiber
the dark silent rooms become-
bright lively classrooms
I wave at you,
get a new ...
nice
open fiber
<@1350345741440389206>
in ur opinion. does the title "Depths of Memory" work?
old cairn
in ur opinion. does the title "Depths of Memory" work?
It feels detached, it doesnt hit hard when the reader reaches the last line
open fiber
It feels detached, it doesnt hit hard when the reader reaches the last line
Edge of my Memory
Memory's Edge
old cairn
Edge of my Memory
Might work, good idea
old cairn
Edge of the Depths
I like edge of my memory
open fiber
I like edge of my memory
alright
old cairn
Oo. I like the ending.
Glad you liked it
barren jungle
the dark silent rooms become-
bright lively classrooms
I wave at you,
get a new ...
Damn I didn't find any flaws it's good as it is
shut basinBOT
Damn I didn't find any flaws it's good as it is
Wonderful! @barren jungle has just progressed to level 4!
