pulsar topaz
I am a door I would walk out of.
Many things I would not have to deal with.
I would not be a shattered mirror.
I would not see the broken pieces
that I have not cleaned off the floor.
I would not be something to put off.
I would not be a wound that needs
to be patched. Always trying to heal
from something.
There would be no self soothing.
There would not be let downs
for my expectations
and I would not be an exception
I don't care if this is not my fault.
I am one feeling this everyday.
I am a like book on a shelf collecting dust
in abandoned home.
Some of my memories would not be blur.
This would not game of doing playback scenes
between the brain and the mind.
Whatever hurts the most and what you did.
Oh I should keep my mouth shut.
Lest my karma for your sins
continue to prevail.
I would not deal with a hurdle of not being able
to sleep well. I would not evoke something
that does not want to be dealt with.
I would walk out and not look back.
Free from you.
Free from the weight of being me.
The depressed girl from nowhere.
Edited at 3:45 am
dim swallow
ocean lava