Experiment.1

[magic wadi]

Three weeks with little sleep,
Heaps of sheets on cheese in Greece.
Fifteen coffees with work incomplete.
Oh god save me please.

Two noons on toons,
On fools who broke their tools,
One on a goose with a spoon ,
Who goofs about the thousand stools.

@cyan coyote , @edgy igloo

@signal beacon

[eternal rampart]

@magic wadi has sent a notification! - @meager matrix

[coarse turret]

I really like the rhyme

[split locust]

Damn
Love the word play!
Relatable xd 😭

[eternal rampart]

@split locust is now following @magic wadi.

[magic wadi]

Thanks

[coarse turret]

But IMO and just imo, I find it… shallow besides it?

[chilly zealot]

*But IMO and

just imo, I find it…

shallow besides it?*

- viande_ren

[magic wadi]

This is solely an experiment

[magic wadi]

What?

[coarse turret]

Don’t get me wrong, I really, really like the poem itself but, I don’t see much of the thematic besides the first stanza

[split locust]

Yessir
Love the theme just add more into it and that'll be a unique piece

[coarse turret]

I don’t know how to express myself

[magic wadi]

Same

[coarse turret]

Like, I think the second stanza doesn’t really SAY anything

[magic wadi]

No it doesn't

[coarse turret]

I don’t know if I’m conveying what I mean properly

[magic wadi]

Oh I understand , this poem was solely made for the word play no other meaning, my other poetry has meaning but not this one

[coarse turret]

Ohhhhh, shoot, I should’ve thought more about that 😅

[split locust]

In my perspective it shows the overthinking aspect, thinking about people who end up sabotaging themselves

[coarse turret]

Huh, now I kinda see it

[split locust]

Yea
Good food to fools who talk about thousand stools

Good rhyming and depth too

[magic wadi]

You can't possibly find meaning to me watching cartoons for afternoons

[wind crown]

The mighty goose with a spoon

[spare spear]

Wonderful! @wind crown has just progressed to level 2!

[split locust]

Oh probably I can't (cartoons bring me back to my childhood so yea nostalgia is a goated theme again 😭)

[magic wadi]

Bro stilllll... There is no meaning

[magic wadi]

Yes you got it yes

[wind crown]

Honestly my favourite line.

[magic wadi]

I mean yeah

[wind crown]

Gave me so much inspiration all of a sudden 🤣😭

[cyan coyote]

Atp bro can replace the best rap writers. Keep it up boiiii.

[magic wadi]

Lol t

Thanks

[cyan coyote]

Nvm dear

[magic wadi]

If I could change the second parah a bit ts might be great

[split locust]

Okay I just shared my perspective 😭

[magic wadi]

But still now that I look at it you found daimond in dirt idk how but you did it

[split locust]

Idk it feels a satire poem to me
Fun with words while having depth and sarcasm

[magic wadi]

But I'm actually gonna change the second parah a bit will notify you after that

[split locust]

Sure sure
Goodluck!..

[magic wadi]

@split locust

Yeah now pls don't find any meaning except it's an imagery of a cartoon

Ee and oo done give me the next sound

[split locust]

😭😭

Good word play wolf!

[magic wadi]

Thanks

[magic wadi]

I liked the way you found a meaning to absolute nonsense , let me guess you're a math topper

[magic wadi]

I read a few of your p poetry absolutely goated

[split locust]

I got enemies to lovers scenario with math
Still not a math topper tho 😭

[magic wadi]

Lol

I mean you like maths that's enough

[split locust]

Tysm!...

[split locust]

I like challenges so yea

[magic wadi]

Lol

@candid river

[candid river]

hmmm

the first stanza is an improvement

the second one breaks the flow tho

i liked the first one ye

good work mate

try to instill flow

in the next one

[magic wadi]

Yeh

@clever igloo

[clever igloo]

Hehehe

Cute

[magic wadi]

Thanks

Wanna read my first pov poems?

I'll @ you

[hot girder]

I don't really find like a meaning here but I am sure there is an intentionality in that perplexity

It certainly sounds nice, and I'm sure you had something in mind with each beautiful line

[magic wadi]

Oh I was experimenting on asonance

There is genuinely no meaning

[hot girder]

Ah ok

Well your mission was definitely accomplished then

[magic wadi]

Lol

[magic wadi]

I'm sorry but your review soundly like a poem

@hot girder check out my other poem a meaningful one , https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1490001143399448576

[hot girder]

Sure