Conditioner Gordan

[slow turtle]

Gordon…
I can handle crime.
I can handle chaos.
I can even handle Batman brooding on rooftops for hours—

…but I cannot handle this dryness.

They gave us Batman shampoo, Gordon.
Shampoo.
The man who lives in a cave apparently believes in cleansing but not closure.

Where is the conditioner, Gordon?
Where is the softness after the struggle?
My hair out here feeling like it just lost its parents too.

Is Gotham just… rinse and repeat?
No detangle? No recovery? No emotional support for split ends?

Commissioner James Gordon,
I’m standing in the aisle like it’s a crime scene—
and the only clue is neglect.

Batman said:
“I work alone.”
And apparently… so does my haircare routine.

Gordon… please.
I don’t need justice.
I need moisture.

[woeful scroll]

@slow turtle has sent a notification! - @jagged marsh @lone falcon @woven dew @glad linden @vital obsidian @silver zenith @hidden quail @undone kindle @cloud night @lyric basin @copper oxide @next igloo @sturdy gust @odd ledge @trim summit @thorny cobalt @burnt nymph @sage iron @coral urchin @cold umbra @viral basin @cedar pendant @full granite @fiery silo @rocky tapir @frail stream @proper walrus @twin cipher @keen ice @sullen granite @topaz orbit @late vigil @calm glade @tawny arch @gritty gyro @novel glade

[cloud night]

LMAOOOOO

RIP

😭

[slow turtle]

This might be my best one yet ngl

[cloud night]

@rare lake @fierce spire @wild moth @still vale

Omg I always forget who to ping😭

The hair is now suffering from EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

[next igloo]

they gave us Batman shampoo, Gordon.
Shampoo.
The man who lives in a cave apparently believes in cleansing but not closure. baaahahaha

[rose robin]

Genuinely one of the best things I’ve read 😭

[fierce spire]

HELP 😭

My eyes have been blessed with peak

[tawny arch]

Whattttt 😭

[slow turtle]

@stone sage

[stone sage]

wow... 😭.. holy gordon 😭

[sage iron]

Lol, I couldn't help but think about Gordon Ramsey

THAT'S- IMMA MAKE A GORDON RAMSEY POEM (someday) 😭

[slow turtle]

Be sure I see I need ts <3

[sage iron]

Bet

[rare lake]

:(

[trim summit]

OMG WHAT 😭😭😭😭😭

This is absolute HAIRmotional SCALPmage. How you came up with this idea for a poem is beyond me, but I sure as heck enjoy this LMAO

The man who lives in a cave apparently believe in cleansing but not closure.

OUCH - also when I took a quick glance at this, I was trying to suppress my laugh. You tagged this as Emotional and I am indeed feeling a strong emotion - one that causes my guts to quiver and my blood running alive:

amusement.

-# I wonder if he tries Superman conditioner.

My hair out here feeling like it just lost its parents too.

No detangle? No recovery? No emotional support for split ends?

-# Yep, he does need Superman conditioner.

Poor hair been going THROUGH IT. This is Gotham funny. I can definitely imagine this being a commercial. The dramatic diction of the poem is really carrying it. It's making it an effectively humorous poem.

Also, I feel like this poem would elevate more if you apply typography to it

[short hawk]

lol 😂

[silver zenith]

Man