The bully of a smile

[dreamy lynx]

The Bully of a Smile

I smile through everything,
even the excruciating pain.

They want to see me down,
even if it's just a frown.

I struggle with being the oldest,
because it means
I have to be the coldest.

So I smile through the pain
just to get blamed.

My family’s a wreck.
I wish they would stop fighting
just for a sec

People laugh at me
because all I want
is for everyone to be happy.

Even if they're laughing at me
and not with me.

Yes, I yell.
I mean it when I yell.

I have depression,
even though my family
doesn't accept it.

I've been hurt before—
they say it's just an excuse,
but I know it's not.

I'm supposed to be a man,
but everything
doesn't always go to plan.

They hate me, they say,
but nobody appreciates
what I try to do.

So I let it be.

I need to seek help,
but how can they help me
when I can't even
help myself?

@willow heron

[willow heron]

First of all, the imagery and rhyming scheme is perfect, making the flow smooth.

Secondly, you've portrayed the emotions really well, making this a very raw piece of work.

Being the elder sibling, I can relate to this a bit to well so yeah, you've captured the scenario well.

Only thing you can work on to make this better is, the ending. It seems linear and doesn't leave much impact. The last stanza feels like an odd closing block fixated, meaning you could've added something a bit more impactful.

Keep up the good work!...

[crude ferry]

That's tuff dude am oldest to and i realise. But what i absolutely loved about this poem is the paradox of how yk you need help but you are still not taking it. It's very beautiful.

And the lines?
'i struggle with being oldest,
Because it means
I have to be the coldest'

Heaven fr.

[dreamy lynx]

Thank you so much

[dreamy lynx]

Thank you

[past monolith]

Wow. I feel this. How can they help me when I can't help myself?

[dreamy lynx]

Thank you