ₛᵤgₐᵣ ᵣᵤₛₕ

[candid pelican]

@valid tundra has sent a notification! - @sudden ember @mossy tapir @lofty gate @vale anchor @livid locust @mossy tusk @night vessel @sick cairn @lone crescent @amber ridge @wraith pasture @silver cobalt @quasi frigate @timid plover @trail oriole @fringe thistle @narrow whale @pastel elm @subtle meteor @winged iris @pale bluff @solid breach

[glass musk]

this is such an etheric vibe with unique color metaphors which you always do so well

[valid tundra]

Thank you!

[glass musk]

yeah no problem! you posted right as I checked new posts haha

[chrome fog]

O my, the imagery play of candy sensoric flavors (mango, clouds [cotton candy?], & sugars), they're so perfectly capture the fun side of carnival & indirectly sweetens the mood to the first kiss!!!!

I wish though you would expand & explore more the last 3 stanzas: "the world stops for us, step back waiting.... holding tastebuds tight." Because it seems it's supposed to be a more intimate for: "the world is just for two of us." so maybe there also needs alot more sensoric that shuts in all the noises "outside" & making the couple more "inward" besides just saying the world stops (ex: everything but you is blurry, feeling only you now, etc.)

[valid tundra]

Ohhh I like it, I can easily get carried away with the sensory so it's alot of restraint and self criticism haha.
I was aiming for that blurry line you are speaking of with the cinematic line but I see it may have read better worked in after 'the world stops'.
I'm happy you enjoyed it in the upper half though!

[subtle meteor]

Awe this one is so cute 🥰

[valid tundra]

Ty!

[subtle meteor]

You're welcome

[valid tundra]

I love your can poem btw! Absolutely love love it.
I lost it pls tag or dm.
Found it 💀