Coffee in a Teacup

[analog owl]

Restlessness wrapped in animosity
To exist is to conflict reality
Convince yourself of belonging
Doubt always waging

Like coffee in a teacup
Sitting in a familiar setup
Too bitter for the tongue
An unwanted taste that clung

Fluid fitting the mold
A story of betrayal untold
Too deceiving to be honest
Her portrayal ever so modest

I fit spaces like it's wrong
Lyrics to an unknown song
Don't spill, don't rebel, don't show
Be quiet, or else they'll know

Oh you're so right, so bold
How do I tell them --- this cup was never mine to hold

@north oriole i dont even know why i posted it but yea, felt like posting something

[north oriole]

Actually good! I actually thought this was a reference to your desire of drinking coffee but with no induction stove 😭😭

Poem wise it's good!

Great use of the figures of speech

Rhetorical devices and the rhymes were clean

[analog owl]

😆 oh god i totally forgot you witnessed my late night coffee randevouz

[north oriole]

Beautiful imagery to

[analog owl]

I do feel like the structure was off

[north oriole]

Well it's your work, but I think the reason why you think is off was because you haven't use the right words for it

And you can actually add more context to this 😭

[analog owl]

Trueeee

[north oriole]

3rd and 4th stanza, you can add a stanza in between to either transition it or bridge it together

[analog owl]

oh i did but then i felt like i was overexplaining so i let it be

[analog owl]

Ohh ohkiieee, thanksss

[north oriole]

Then let it be... Honestly take my words with a grain of salt, you know how to write and this is one good example of it

This feedback is on my end as a reader/writer myself but it doesn't mean you should follow it

Your work = your rules

[analog owl]

no no, i am glad i can hear from people now, get advise and all. I gave up writing a while ago because i couldn't understand if i was just manipulating myself into thinking they are good

So I loveee feedbacks

[north oriole]

Atleast give yourself a pat on the back for trying 😭 and it's good! You don't have to manipulate yourself into thinking your work is good because I as a reader think it's good!

Sure it need polishing, but hell it's already good to begin with