How people meet (short)

[toxic bridge]

As the clock ticks
And the die rolls
God picks
Two souls

[open arrow]

Fire

[cloud garden]

Did you mean dice?

[open arrow]

Would’ve been a good haiku fr

[cloud garden]

My thoughts exactly

[toxic bridge]

dice is plural

i meant die

[cloud garden]

Ty for lmk

I’m not english

[toxic bridge]

no worries

[muted owl]

@toxic bridge has sent a notification! - @blazing zodiac @open arrow @kindred rune @devout imp @azure raft

[toxic bridge]

@woven hinge

[woven hinge]

as the clock ticks - i like the first line, good movement. gets the micropoetry flowing.

and the die rolls - I like this very much, it raises the stakes of the poem.

God picks - i like this very much, here the stakes are much more now. but you should add an em dash to raise the stakes even more. instead of "God picks" it should be "God picks—"

Two souls - the ending is fire bro, simple line, great resolution. i like this. but I recommend that the grammar be tightened a bit, and also it could use punctuation. that's all, very nice work.

[woven hinge]

@exotic phoenix does this count as micropoetry feedback?

[toxic bridge]

Ill look into enjabment and how and when i can implement IT

Thanks Dave!!

[exotic phoenix]

I'd accept this

[woven hinge]

YESSSSSSSSS

[exotic phoenix]

Micro poetry feedback would be particularly hard

[toxic bridge]

Dave looking for the new tag?

[toxic bridge]

Give it a shot

[woven hinge]

wdym?

[toxic bridge]

The new role

[woven hinge]

i just want it coz it's blue

more blue than my role rn

[toxic bridge]

Lol

Rosey id love some feedback from you

[exotic phoenix]

I think you should remove using uppercase to start every line, and I agree on using at least some form of grammar on your piece. Using the title as part of the poem and an explanation in and of itself is clever

[toxic bridge]

Ah right, grammar

[woven hinge]

yo, can the bingo be completed horizontally?

[toxic bridge]

Thanks rosey!!

[exotic phoenix]

Yes as long it's all five boxes

[woven hinge]

So one down

4 more

[woven hinge]

how do i lock that in? do i just send the message?

[woven hinge]

nice

ima go now

bye

[exotic phoenix]

-# poem for future readers

[charred knot]

What I love about this is each line stanza keeps building up the intensity beat to beat (4, 4, 2, 2) until the last line

The images from clock ticks to die rolls to God, there's already immediate emergency symbols about fates.

The only thing that leaves me cliffhanger is the ending although I assume it's meant to be open ended (up to interpretation), the intentional "mystery" feels abit half-answered & instead abit confuses the readers whose brain may still wire to demand answer about who these two souls are.

So if I were to suggest, is to reworded the reason behind the use of "two souls", which perhaps mean a married couple? a friendship? or something?

Other than that, I think it's still a very compelling suspense of micropoetry

[kindred rune]

This would be such a fire starting line for a fantasy book

[toxic bridge]

Actually this is a poem from the book in writing. So with context i think most of your queries with be answered

[gilded cairn]

The difference between a D and a G is the amount of people who know whether to choose W, D, or G.

The Wilded are those who take to the world.
The Gilded are those who take to the gold.
The D.... ehh...

you know the rest