Black

[crude bronze]

So full and so whole,
But it lies,
For its but a hole.

It feeds off the light,
Traps it in,
And color benights.

It’s a void of naught,
So it kills
Despising the right.

Empty, insecure,
and still cries;
Naught into its void.

First time writing in 5-3-5 structure, I kinda like this one but it is late and I only just made this in about 30min so perhaps I’ll change my mind tomorrow.

Black

[vapid pelican]

Ooooo! This is pretty good! I don't know much abt poetry, I just write rhyming poems and lyrics, but I REALLY like this!!! Short, but well written!! Good job! :DDD

[crude bronze]

Thank you!! I rly appreciate it :) not used to writing short

[vapid pelican]

Nppp!!!

[untold vessel]

@crude bronze has sent a notification! - @crude turtle

[dark root]

"For it is but a hole* has 6 syllable dear

And you should've done a Haiku 🥲
A haiku is a 5 - 7 - 5 syllables

But this is a good short poem

You managed to describe black in a simple yet imaginative way

Hole
Benights
Void

Good!

[crude bronze]

I’m doing Lune poetry not haiku :) 5-3-5
But aghhh didn’t see the 6 syllables, thanks for pointing it out lol

[crude bronze]

Thanks! Slowly but surely get better

[crude bronze]

(Edited it to “its*”

[dark root]

Oohh this is my first time seeing a Lune poetry, I'll keep this for reference :3

Good job! Looking forward to seeing more of your work!