You.

[gloomy belfry]

This is my first poem ever. Please be honest with me and tell me how I did. Thank you.

[odd shale]

resplendent.

[gloomy belfry]

Thank you so much! Are there any parts I could improve on however?

[covert patio]

“I reach out trying to grasp on to even a sliver of your breath, just for you to have taken your last.”

Wonderful job 👏

[gloomy belfry]

Thank you! I was a little worried about that line.

[odd shale]

I really love the emotional strength in your poem — the repetition and sensory imagery make the longing feel so vivid. If you ever wanted to refine it even more, you could play a little with the rhythm in the opening so it builds more gradually, or maybe deepen one of the metaphors instead of spreading across several, just to make one image really stand out. You could also experiment with adding a small shift in tone near the end, something that gives the poem a sense of movement or a final twist. Even tightening a couple of phrases might make the impact hit even harder. But honestly, the voice and feeling are already so strong — these are just ideas if you feel like exploring them.

[covert patio]

No need to be worried. Its a perfect line and fits wonderfully.

[blissful star]

Wonderful! @covert patio has just progressed to level 7!

[gloomy belfry]

Thanks! I will take these into consideration while editing and making new poems.

[odd shale]

Absolutely!