#Uuuhh, just a Poem.

80 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

honest bramble
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This reads like a rap verse

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I enjoy reading these kinds of poems

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I primarily enjoy miltonic / classical poems so this feels like a breath of fresh air

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and unlike some poems which read more like prose, this poem does what it needs to do

sleek foxBOT
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*Funny enough I

had developed the style

from battle rapping.*

- noobie_justified
honest bramble
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ohh

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this style is unique actually, I enjoy pieces of art like this

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same to yours, i could learn a lot of things from your wordplay

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I'd love to do so some other time

dense vapor
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this is very fiona apple

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she's an artist

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she rhymes like that

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pretty awesome

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reminds me of my earlier work

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keep going x

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it was I used to overthink the words till I realized minimalism to portray a concept is more me

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but it does take much skill to do word play well done

daring socketBOT
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Wonderful! @slim iron has just progressed to level 4!

dense vapor
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I can link you one of my olderr poems

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I've realized alot of my poems are about the men in my life

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oh god

sleek foxBOT
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*I've realized alot

of my poems are about

the men in my life*

- hotgirlenginear
dense vapor
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lmaoooo

sleek foxBOT
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*Real stuff though, the things

of your personal life make

a poem more real.*

- noobie_justified
faint forge
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Excellent wordplay! I’m impressed 🤟

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The catacomb/cat to comb and the ghost with his text ignored

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That was nice

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Wordplay can be a deeper layer to a phrase that is relatively simplistic without a few twists of wording

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🤷‍♂️

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When I distort words, it’s not meant as a bad joke
Why paraphrase the paralysis of a bad stroke
I’m blood thirsty like Bram stroker
No hand quotes

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I’d rather swim in ur hemoglobin with backstrokes

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The doctor told me I was sick and didn’t have an antidote

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This depends on the remainder squeezed from tubes of vagisil?

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lol

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Instead of springs blooming with daffodils
I’m more like flies buzzing on windows of Amityville

strong hollow
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this sounds like hip-hop rap. reminds me of eminem. and it seems to jump quite a lot. i'm having trouble reading it in any flow

foggy loom
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The imagery all follows a set theme but it's cool how it changes again every line I love that

daring socketBOT
strong hollow
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the second stanza is the most coherent one to me. that's the only one i can understand truly. the third stanza i'm not sure what it all means. "no cat to comb" sounds like a bad joke.

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the first stanza sounds like it's got some theme but i'm unable to understand or point at it. i'm having trouble understanding this poem

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ah...

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sounds like how people describe "gravity's rainbow". it's got meaning and all but you need a lot of knowledge and context to understand it

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that's one example of why i'm having trouble differentiating between good and bad poetry. it would've been a bad line if you actually meant something deep here and i saw it as a bad joke, but you intended it as a bad joke and i understood it as one.

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so you have to trust the poet on that and their commentary of their own poem. then some poets refuse to do that saying its better people make their own. then people also make interpretations that completly disregard the poet and make their own interpretations.

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there's just so much freedom that there's no bad or good anymore. everything is the same

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lol

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you should watch evangelion. it's an anime but it's better than 90% of the cinema ever made. (i'm saying this as a cinephile)

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at the end of it there's a monologue where they describe the idea of true freedom. say everyone got united into a single primordial being, there's no bad stuff left anymore. then there's a lot of freedom. it's TRUE FREEDOM

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but do you need it? and the better question is: WHO IS YOU? because everyone is the same thing. there is no YOU or WE or the OTHER

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no, i'm just describing what the anime's ending philosophy is.

strong hollow
strong hollow
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if everything was the same, then everything would be bad (but equally bad)

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or you could even say everything would be good (but equally good)

sleek foxBOT
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*or you could even

say everything would be good

(but equally good)*

- lewa8240.anshu
strong hollow
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good and bad lose their meaning when contrast between them ceases to exist

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i could have given a more definite answer according to my own standards of bad and good if only i was able to understand your poem better

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i'm having trouble even comprehending the poem

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i like it. it's great. there was a point when i loved it.

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yeah, i have no idea what this line: "Xenophobes got me yammering about what’s more defied, it has me mortified" has to do with the next line: "It’s too xeric when they say villains win, but the court denied, "

daring socketBOT
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Wonderful! @slim iron has just progressed to level 8!

strong hollow
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the show is great. just very off-beat. it's 18+ too so remember that

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"Too many skeletons in the closet, let’s see what the corpse can hide." this line sounds great on it's own, but idk what it means, and how it relates to the other lines

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i don't think i can figure it out

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could you break it down for me?

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so the court denied the skeletons to hide in the closet?

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i thought you jumped to the next imagery

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it did sound barely comic due to the "court denied" and the "skeleton" lines

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but i didn't know it was a joke

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nor did i know what it all meant

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then how does that relate to the skeletons hiding?

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corpse is skeleton + flesh

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a corpse hides a skeleton

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cuz flesh hides a skeleton

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then what's the closet?

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how?

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how can closet deny flaw and corruption (whatever that means with respect to a closet)?

remote plover
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That last line was great @slim iron

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Yeah I could tell