Growing pains

[solemn wadi]

Once I was 16 years old
My mind able to break with little push
My body felt invincible

breathing a curse
My soul a missing puzzle piece
But I couldn’t find that Waldo

Waldo hid in my shadows
Hid in my mind
Looking for it felt like I was David fighting Goliath

Pain was my only way to feel
There was no other way to feel
I hiding In my numbness

I raced time
Just so I could finish the race early
I was never going to win
So I kept trying to not finish

But my race didn’t finish at 16
It didn’t finish at 17

But my puzzle is still missing its final piece

[heavy steppe]

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[vale garnet]

haii i really like this poem !! just a couple notes, i really liked the overarching imagery you used, by this i mean, each image you used led into the next one and felt as though it belonged to the poem as a whole. it helped build the poem, instead of sticking out. they were well thought out and vital to the comprehension. i love how each image led into the next image as well! i also loved your sentence and line structures. they were shorter, which gives more of an elongated feel, like we're spending longer on each thought you shared.

now, just some suggestions, if that's okay? i mentioned sentence and line structures--one thing i would love to see is some experimentation with this. longer lines give a sense of time running out, like, and exasperated feeling. that would be really good near the ending, at the part where you're racing time. varied sentence structure also keeps the poem feeling fresh and keeps the reader engaged!!