BLAK INK

[cloud abyss]

The ink i used to write
it was no good, it was no good
Too liquid, no substance
The ink i used to write
It was no good, it was no good

The ink my friend used to write
Was good, was good
His pen was nice, his heart was pure
The ink my friend used to write
Was good, was good

Instead of using a bottle of ink
Ill Pierce my ears with my pen
Take the malice and hatred that clogged my ears

Lovely whispers, kisses, regrets, curses
All of these essences, now ink
Unclogging my ears, i can hear your lovely words again
And i can use this new ink for my writting

The ink i use to write
Its the best, the best
Alchemic by nature, hate transmuted into fine art
The ink i use to write
Its the best, its the best

@rich terrace

forgot clogged twice

woops

[rich terrace]

Huh?

Wait, do you want me to give feedback?

[cloud abyss]

yeah

[rich terrace]

Ok

Giv me a minute

in the first stanza i think you accidentally put it was instead of was

[cloud abyss]

oh ur right

english not being my first language makes this so harder

[rich terrace]

it not being your first language and still having the ability to write like this makes it really impressive

i think my only real issue is that you told the reader the fact you use the ink

it should be inferred

the structure at the beginning made built clarity of two opposing sides

and the jealousy

the final few lines feel out of place

alchemy links back to science and undertanding of the properties

this doesnt completely match the message, image or emotion

thank you for the poem

it is supremely beautiful

[cloud abyss]

alchemy in the sense of alchemy of the soul not physical alchemy

basically it qas a poem about the magnus opus

alchemy is the sense of turning bad things into useful things by a process called the putrefaction

or depression

it’s dissolving your old ideals and making them into something new

[warm sonnet]

*it’s dissolving your

old ideals and making them

into something new*

- Gnopo | Nirvana’s Royal Knight

[rich terrace]

Ahhh