#Independence

24 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

livid aurora
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A student suddenly stands up,
poised and erect with impenetrable boldness
as if all her bones in her body
had rigidly fused together.

She loudly heralds to the class
that her glorious modern masterpiece
is in the writing,
far distinct from
the torturous monotony of Dante's Inferno
or the dullness of Camus
whose pithy aphorisms
were to be recited by rote in class.

She tells us she's paving her own path forward,
despite all her papers looking like confused treasure maps
and her test scantrons looking like abstract art
but like a jigsaw puzzle with only center pieces,
not the type to fit a frame.
Like signals from the cosmos, her ramblings are merely noise.

When a neighboring pupil
not even lifting his head up
from the makeshift shelter he had crafted
using just his bony vertebrae and wooden desk
inquires as to the utility of this novel invention,
she declares curtly,
"because I can."

I capitulate to the irresistible temptation
to inform her in an equally curt
but nonetheless lenient tone:
"even Satan still knows God."

hexed talon
#

You are awesome, simply that is all.

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livid aurora
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or do you think they're still clear enough through the layered imagery

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since some friends who have critiqued this said they couldn't get the themes/intended message on first read

echo arrow
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Its probobally because I know about the people you are referancing

livid aurora
fallen dirgeBOT
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radiant shardBOT
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*acctually I think

I might be stupid lol I

get the last line now*

livid aurora
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the main idea that i was getting at is that to innovate, you must know tradition

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to be original doesn't mean you should just ignore tradition or convention

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u still need to be well read to write something well

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I see it now

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hey

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you really wrote that idea quite well

livid aurora
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two ppl i've sent this poem to didn't get that idea at all tohugh

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so i wonder if it's too layered/steeped in flowery metaphor

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i mean you should've gotten that idea *before * i *told * you this was the intended idea