unreal spindle
It comes in photograph flashes
Of film reels burning engraved in my mind
Of screaming grief sat quietly
Yet clawing through my throat
Petting the inner linings of my insides
Tearing through the denial
I saw my reflection in lady Jane
The fermented seeds of agony blooming in a wistful age
My longing lingered on the shape made on the page
The unlocking of the tortured bird
The flight of the cage
To feel freedom call your name in the same way you call shame your lover and let it run through your charred soul and light it ablaze
So I began.
To drown the lost letters and the fairytales and fables
Choke out the desire to be chosen for chosen sake
And at night when someone touched me
I screamed out my own name
My shrieking nerves ache for the chase
So I pulled out a gun on foolish complacency
And suddenly I had won the imaginary race
I became myself
Cut away from chains of yearning
And the grave I called a home
With a roaring beast of a husband
And a thousand burner phones
It comes in tears of joy
And a simple lack of pain
I need knowing the love inside me
More than needing some other soul’s vessel to chase
inland drum
modest fulcrum
tawny oyster
kindred lodge