#"Mother, may I come over?"

29 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

sage path
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Mother, may I come over?
Would you let me; please?
Mother, would you welcome me
with a homely tight squeeze ?
Oh mother, I am doomed
Since you left me half-a-way
But I want to see you now
As you are turning grey..
Don't you see; your daughter standing ?
Know, it's very freezing out here
Please let me in mother
Or I'll die I fear..
Why did you leave me mother,
with people you called monsters?
How did you think these stranger;
Were competent of me to foster?
And I waited for u to come back
Waited; as I was tethered
Oh mother you didn't
But I loved you; as I withered.
A little hope brought me here
I would be cured if you let me in
Just a look of you mother
And it'll undo my sin
Mother, I beg! I won't stay forever
But for a while; could you let me sit near the heat?
Oh mother; I have come a long long way
And now; the snow's rising up my feet..
Mother see; I am quaking here
Let me in I promise, I won't hurt
Mother; I fear they'll come finding me
If they do ; things will revert...
Oh, for motherhood's sake; don't let me die
What will people say; as here I hover?
What will people say of, on your porch;
A dead daughter.
What will they say mother
of her last words as "Mother, may I come over?"

latent kiln
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Omg this is so good and sad 😭!! It reminds me of the children's book "A Little Match Girl". The ending of that book is similar to yours!

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The repetition of mother and the daughter pleading was very strong

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And I liked the call back to the beginning of the first line at the end!

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Endless praise for this poem lol

hidden mauve
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the image of snow rising up her feet while she's just. standing there. begging. 😮‍💨😮‍💨 i can't. the desperation in this poem is so specific and human and the way it never gets loud it just keeps PLEADING — that's what got me. incredible writing. wait also i run a blog and i'd love to have something like this on it if that's ever a thing you'd be open to?? no pressure just had to say it 🌿

tall stirrupBOT
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tall stirrupBOT
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weak pelican
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Goodjob <3

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weak pelican
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You have a good way of doing the emotions for poems based on this :p

warm streamBOT
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*You have a good way

of doing the emotions

for poems based on this :p*

- .oziet21.
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weak pelican
modest tuskBOT
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@weak pelican is now following @sage path.

gaunt grotto
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gaunt grotto
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I will as soon as i am free

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weak pelican
warm streamBOT
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*Ofc :3 lol

idk if i should post

the one i made yet*

- .oziet21.
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weak pelican
# sage path sureee

I sent you a dm actually hoping you could maybe take a look but im prob marked as spam

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Lol

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Discord hates me so yup

sage path