#The Violence of Loving Quietly

11 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

sharp flume
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I love you in the violence of restraint,
Where every pulse must learn to stay concealed;
My heart is bruised by all it dares not reach,
A truth too sacred ever to be revealed.

You haunt the spaces language cannot cross,
The pause before my courage turns to fear;
One glance from you unthreads my careful calm,
And sets my soul on fire, quiet and clear.

I ache the way the night aches for the dawn—
Not meant to touch, yet shaped by what it lacks;
Your absence weighs more than your presence could,
A star I orbit, never daring back.

If loving you is ruin held in breath,
Then let me burn in you—unnamed—till death.

-Nira

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Hey guys!
This is the first sonnet I have ever written.. let me know how u feel about this..
As it’s my first time, I would love to know what I can improve…

astral nova
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I usually ignore the poetry feedback tab, but a notification to read a sonnet is always a treat. For thoughts:

well done. i can feel it was crafted thoughtfully. the thing i enjoy about poems with metering is that you really have to take your time to write the words, adding this air of motion and intention. thank you for sharing this!

sharp flume
# astral nova I usually ignore the poetry feedback tab, but a notification to read a sonnet is...

Awwww.. I am sooo glad u think that!..
I haven’t ever explored this genre but yea, I finally did and ngl I actually like it…
It does take time cause there is a strict structure we have to follow which makes things an adventure I am likening to explore now..
So I am sure I’ll be writing more such sonnets soon enough.. And u r always welcomed to read it, infact I would love to know where I can improve too so that I perfect this genre..
I appreciate the time u took out to read this Spiral!! ❤️
Means a lot

sterile atlas
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The first line is already immersive and I love how it maintains that nagging duality in the sincere sensation we enjoy when we are hurting oursleves.

summer elm
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🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

cinder ether
pulsar hound
# sharp flume I love you in the violence of restraint, Where every pulse must learn to stay co...

Where are my two cents of this work
Don't take me seriously I just kind of got inspired by this.

First let me talk about the orbit
The irony that Orbit never going back on the distant path that it configure to
Is giving me good contrast with the rationality of the violence that you have given.
Because the rationality of the whole poem from my stand point is on the change
Many seasons go by many feelings evolve but you still cage in your own self

And that age of truth never let you pursue what you actually went to
And this non activity is so brutal that even stars or planets scared to revolve in their orbits which they are destined to do.

Dominion over destiny is inspiring to be honest like this Dominion is above languages above human consciousness and rationality
The spirit that in compresss and shapes the name and the nameless both
Is set supreme even in your case when you burn your soul, that aspiration for Dominion westile burning even you die it still wrestle out

uncut latch
sharp flume
sharp flume