The One Who Stayed - Hydrae

[tiny furnace]

@whole obsidian @dense kindle @alpine warren

@delicate blaze @sullen marsh

@tight tiger @dreamy wigeon

@urban brook

@pastel talon

@quick fern

[dense kindle]

damn being the first commentator is lowkey exciting

reminds of people never meant to bee

[tiny furnace]

Kind of what I was going for in a way

@loud venture

@novel bison

@silent canopy

[tight tiger]

Hydraaaa!! Its goob to see ya
:3

Im traveling rn, will read tmr night

[dense kindle]

yeahh broo and ballroom was the best parttt

[tiny furnace]

Hello thonos nice to see you too had a chat with Rohan earlier lol.
Oh yeah dw get back to it when you can

[tiny furnace]

Aww thankyou

[tiny furnace]

@alpine warren

[tight tiger]

*The tear burns, itching against the fabric
Yet it aches less than before *

demn hydraa....

this is goooob gooooob

[tiny furnace]

@dawn tendon

[dawn tendon]

https://tenor.com/view/writing-fire-gif-523038869044733220

[stuck ledge]

@tiny furnace
This piece hurts in the quietest, most dangerous way—in a good way.
You didn’t describe grief; you let it take the lead and dance, and that’s real craft.

At simple words u cooked

With raw emotions especially grief

No wait... Deep fried

[tiny furnace]

Thankyou

[random swan]

Nice Hyde!!

[tiny furnace]

Thanks

[tiny furnace]

@merry river

[merry river]

Its tied all together by subtle rhythm and mainly — emotion. The rhyme and stanza are inconsistent but emotion defines the structure. It's metaphorical and elements are well represented so it has a story telling feeling. There is evident rhyme which is good.

My only constructive feedback would be to add a repeating rhyme like a chorus, it would structure it up.

If the genre of poem is mainly emotion, then it serves its purpose well. There is rhythm in uttering and could be find in narration, so it that matter its perfect.

Its cohesive in aesthetic. Put short, well done <3

[tiny furnace]

Thankyou I wanted it to feel a bit off that's why the no rhyme things

[mortal dragon]

*Thankyou I wanted

it to feel a bit off that's

why the no rhyme things*

- Hydrae

[merry river]

Then it clearly serves its purpose. The readers are free to interpret and relate to it.

[tiny furnace]

@drowsy island

[drowsy island]

B U T fool piece

[tiny furnace]

@clever anchor

[short raptor]

@clever anchor is now following @tiny furnace.

[tiny furnace]

@golden iron

[quick fern]

I can relate

Amazing work Hydrae

[tiny furnace]

Thankyou Rico it's always pleasure to have you read my work

[tiny furnace]

@smoky cliff

[tiny furnace]

@elder jewel

[elder jewel]

Wee WHAY this

[tiny furnace]

My poem la

[elder jewel]

Wiw

I read

Cinderella trust

✨ ✨✨✨✨✨

https://tenor.com/view/furina-furina-de-fontaine-genshin-impact-genshin-impact-gif-9897161094838527364

https://tenor.com/view/cinderella-dancing-gif-7826350

Dancing trust

[tiny furnace]

Aww thankyou Rose

[elder jewel]

ITSORETTY

PRETTY THINGS

WE LOVEPRETTT THINGS

thy is also pretty

[tiny furnace]

@past merlin