Doing my best with only me,
A quiet war no one can see.
I wake up losing, fall asleep,
Counting wounds I couldn’t keep.
No one can bring me lower down,
I learned to wear defeat as crown.
Both the judge and the accused,
Every win already used.
Satisfied, then split in two,
Hope dissolves like morning dew.
To make myself stronger, I stay,
Not healed, just breathing anyway.
Well, I’m so tired, soul-deep worn,
Every night feels stillborn.
And of course the world moves fast,
Dragging ghosts from my past.
This does concern what’s left of me,
A flicker fighting just to be.
Top? Top? I laugh at that,
I’m beneath the welcome mat.
Tip‑top lives in someone’s dream,
Not in this endless in‑between.
Leave me alone, don’t ask, don’t pry,
I’m busy learning how to try.
I just want one unreachable place,
Where time loosens its grip on my face.
They call it heaven, rest, or sleep,
Anywhere I don’t have to weep.
And I will sit and say no word,
Silence screams what can’t be heard.
You know how I vanish slow,
Like a light afraid to glow.
Less.
One breath held, then none to lend,
Don’t repeat it.
Let it end.