Act 1 And Act 2

[heavy zodiac]

Act 1

I, a bird with wings soaring high
As a cloud in the open sky
A mighty being of the heights
I tear the thunderous sky..
I am an elite crafted by the God.

An earthly creature eyed me.
From his hideous cave he came out.
He spread his crops forth for me.
As he waited, then, for me to come
To come down and grace the Earth's skin

As I landed, a web emerged.
The ground, it changed its stance.
Binding me, a graced one, in a ball
Tightening the wings in one fold

I flapped the mighty bruised wings.
With my beak, I howled a screech.
Halt, I have wings; let me free.
The two feet all come forth.
With the smiling faces, a devil's scowl

One creature he checked my talons
He grazed me, steady and slow feet
Then a sharp razor, my wings torn
I beaked, screamed high and low

They throw me in these iron bars.
Where is my dear open sky?
Ages passed, and the bars didn't rust.
My thin feet are heavy to stand still.

The ocean behind bars, the open sky
Such mercy of those earthly beings
My sight is now a hazy gaze.

The bars my shackles bind me.
But a friend who has hugged me
I look at the open grey heaven.
The one who had betrayed me.

Act 2

I, a bird who etched the world
Sky where I ruled by my wings
I, A Magnificent. Crafted by the God.

I was made to rule and rise.
My wings tore the thunderous sky.
The mighty wings torn abrupt in ruin

The bars as my shackles hold me still.
I look at the great ocean behind bars.

As I rest in ruin, in shackles
A stone fixed in its place forever
A doll put in manacles

The walls I fixed my boredom in them.
My stare at empty I find peace in it.
As the waves of light will hit me
With one hope, I will pluck one feather.
To mark my foolishness
Each time

To shackles I belong.
A fate written in stone
No wings, no might
I am a fallen

[cold parrot]

@heavy zodiac has sent a notification! - @minor bone @wheat cairn @jovial swallow @glossy inlet @fossil elbow @finite helm @indigo seal @near dew @hollow plume @open wadi @hazy brook @desert spoke

[heavy zodiac]

@hollow kite

What you mean? 😑

Elaborate your thoughts

Ok thankyou for your comment goodbye

Go, You came by yourself and I am sorry If I didn't meet your requirements good bye

And the act 1 that is a whole different story

It is just how bird has been captured and act 2 is related to the main picture

Plz be coherent with your messages

What I achieved barely?

If your criticizing at least be coherent

[heavy zodiac]

@ancient panther

Act 2 is just different poem related to the picture and tell me weak points

@jovial swallow May I assign you a small task?

[heavy zodiac]

@tender peak

[tender peak]

Fun read
Solid poetry I like it

[jovial swallow]

depends on the task

very nice poem tho, i enjoyed the narrative

[heavy zodiac]

Each day give me a poem topic with the word bank

[jovial swallow]

as in- the topic itself uses the word bank? or a topic where you can use bank in your poem?

[heavy zodiac]

And also what you think of act 1 ?
I will send the act 1 as stand alone poem

[heavy zodiac]

Where I can use the words

[heavy zodiac]

I have done a little more editing on act 1 here

Poem # 1:Title:
A Graceful One
I, a bird with wings soaring high
As a cloud in the open sky
A mighty being of the heights
I tear through the hazy sky.

An earthly creature eyed me.
From his hideous cave he crawled out. 
He spread his crops forth for me.
As he waited, then, for me to come
To come down and grace the Earth's skin.
As I landed, a web emerged.

The ground, it changed its stance. 
Binding me, a graced one, in a ball.
Tightening the wings in one fold.
 I flapped the mighty bruised wings.
With my beak, I screeched.
 Halt, I have wings; let me free.

Two-footed creatures circled me.
Smiling faces, a devil's scowl

One creature—he checked my talons.
He grazed me, steady and slow-footed.
Then a sharp razor, my wings torn.
The metal sharpened; it cut me in half.
I shrieked and screamed in high blows.

They throw me in these iron bars.
The metal clanking, the jarring rhythm. 
Ages passed, and the bars didn't rust.
My thin feet are too heavy to stand still.

The ocean behind bars, the open sky.
 My beak is a smile; I am good. 
My sight is now a hazy gaze.

The bars as shackles bind me.
 But a friend who has hugged me
I look at the open grey heaven.
The one who had betrayed me.
Once I tore through the hazy sky.
The grey heaven now mocks me.

[jovial swallow]

write about a river or creek

[heavy zodiac]

A river right

[heavy zodiac]

Try the revised version of act 1

[jovial swallow]

its good. only thing that sticks out is "My thin feet are too heavy to stand still."-- it's a bit odd to have thin feet that are heavy; the feet would be light if they were thin. but up to u if u wanna change it or not :)
stanza 5 might be considered sensitive (depictions of harm) so make sure to use the appropriate channel & content warnings before u submit!
but yea it looks good man

[heavy zodiac]

I will fix rhythm actually, I will try to make it somewhat consistent syllables and also thin feet is too heavy as the person is in jail his too heavy emotionally to stand up

[jovial swallow]

what 😭

[heavy zodiac]

😂

That's a rubber chicken

[cursive shard]

soupysoapy

**soupysoapy** petted Mimu ~

@jovial swallow earned 🍪 36.

tip: click the button below to get reminded when the cooldown is over!

[jovial swallow]

LMAOOO dont do that here 😭

[ancient panther]

Goood poem!
Altho the first act could be tightened a bit, I liked I the second act alot tho

[heavy zodiac]

I have tightened the first part

8 syllables per line all the way

[heavy zodiac]

Second part is actually, I will work on it, its just a start

[glossy inlet]

Why didn't you write this for Gallery of Words contest?

[heavy zodiac]

I have written for it

[glossy inlet]

Wait, I meant posted link on https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1457450189290733832

[heavy zodiac]

Yeah that one

[glossy inlet]

??? I didn't find your link in here

[heavy zodiac]

Second poem I am posting