#Sequentia

12 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

opaque ember
#

Victimae paschali laudes
For every day I lived in this world,
a cell of my skin gave up.
Simply – ceased to exist, compelling
a list of events to unroll:

First, my hands gave in,
relinquishing control
to their executioner.
Second, my eyes rested
on the merciful palms,
spelling resignation.
Third, I became a flag,
a sign inviting all the
immolent Christiani.
depraved, decrepit
masters to arm.

I am yours now – subside.

#
primal belfryBOT
#

@opaque ember has sent a notification! - @sand wave @outer prawn @torpid hamlet @lyric quarry @limber garnet @jaunty geyser @gleaming pike @warm thorn @surreal bay @untold jay @ruby drift @cedar swift @silk fulcrum @copper moss @grizzled heath @glass willow @visual finch @merry portal @frail dragon @outer ravine @plain pine @icy fable @harsh chasm @candid hollow @jaunty falcon @grand zinc @pearl pine @bitter dragon @ripe hamlet @raven lion @vernal ingot @maiden drum @limber cosmos @rare moat @void imp @deft totem @hexed shadow

frail dragon
#

maybe it's time I ping you instead PopcornPanda

#

@opaque ember

#

ha

opaque ember
#

thanks

frail dragon
#

welcome

deft totem
# opaque ember *Victimae paschali laudes* For every day I lived in this world, a cell of my ski...

Well done, @opaque ember. One thing I especially like, and this will seem as if I'm advising you to write in a more proselike way, which is very far from the case, is the enumeration of the "list of events." T.S. Eliot did something very similar in the climax of "Little Gidding"—

Let me disclose the gifts reserved for age
To set a crown upon your lifetime's effort.
First, the cold fricton of expiring sense

and he enumerates two more. And so I think this adds momentum and a sense of going-somewhere to a piece that might be floating "every day" while it also "ceased to exist."

lyric quarry
#

Verdict:
Any understanding of what this series means from my point of view would and will be entirely feigned. The format is exceptional though :D