opaque ember
Victimae paschali laudes
For every day I lived in this world,
a cell of my skin gave up.
Simply – ceased to exist, compelling
a list of events to unroll:
First, my hands gave in,
relinquishing control
to their executioner.
Second, my eyes rested
on the merciful palms,
spelling resignation.
Third, I became a flag,
a sign inviting all the
immolent Christiani.
depraved, decrepit
masters to arm.
I am yours now – subside.
Mass eternal, shine thine fear
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primal belfryBOT
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opaque ember
thanks
deft totem
*Victimae paschali laudes*
For every day I lived in this world,
a cell of my ski...
Well done, @opaque ember. One thing I especially like, and this will seem as if I'm advising you to write in a more proselike way, which is very far from the case, is the enumeration of the "list of events." T.S. Eliot did something very similar in the climax of "Little Gidding"—
Let me disclose the gifts reserved for age
To set a crown upon your lifetime's effort.
First, the cold fricton of expiring sense
and he enumerates two more. And so I think this adds momentum and a sense of going-somewhere to a piece that might be floating "every day" while it also "ceased to exist."
lyric quarry
Verdict:
Any understanding of what this series means from my point of view would and will be entirely feigned. The format is exceptional though :D
frail dragon
