This is the first poem I’ve written in a while so please go easy on me, I have a poetry competition coming up and I wish to submit this. Any tips?
#Oblivious
dire wave
glad sigil
Excellent
supple heron
i love itttt! really nice detail and story in general <33
nocturne summitBOT
dire wave
i love itttt! really nice detail and story in general <33
Thank you so much! It felt a little vague reading it back but I’m glad that others can feel the message of them poem!
glad sigil
The pain in the poetry is illustrated in good way
supple heron
Thank you so much! It felt a little vague reading it back but I’m glad that othe...
everyone's hard on themselves after reading their own workkk
glad sigil
But i device you
End with an open emotional door, not a full stop.
dire wave
everyone's hard on themselves after reading their own workkk
I feel like I need to take a week without looking at it and then reread it to see it at another perspective
dire wave
But i device you
End with an open emotional door, not a full stop.
Oh my goodness thank you so much I felt like it ended odd, this really helped
supple heron
I feel like I need to take a week without looking at it and then reread it to se...
yess like my poem aswell! i wrote this one a while ago and thought it was horrible but i reread it today and thought it was one of my favourite pieves
pieces*
glad sigil
Oh my goodness thank you so much I felt like it ended odd, this really helped
You will end in simple if u wanna post somewhere You will never know my pain
until you know me.
dire wave
yess like my poem aswell! i wrote this one a while ago and thought it was horrib...
I feel like that happens every time!
robust token
can i ask who you are adressing by "you" here
dire wave
You will end in simple if u wanna post somewhere You will never know my pain
unt...
I like that, I feel like I added something unnecessary because I felt like my message was being told too vaguely and felt I needed to explain myself
robust token
is it the reader
dire wave
Yes, I originally addressed it toward someone who I am no longer friends with though. Someone who cut me off when I began going though this
I felt like addressing it towards the reader gave it a more emotional depth
glad sigil
No it's too good but ending must be open because we can attract the readers
robust token
I felt like addressing it towards the reader gave it a more emotional depth
but then ending of first stanza doesnt make sense
dire wave
?
dire wave
but then ending of first stanza doesnt make sense
Can you elaborate
robust token
leave it maybe i m just overanalysing
glad sigil
Bro she is write
vivid kernelBOT
Bro she is write
Wonderful! @glad sigil has just progressed to level 1!
glad sigil
The poem is intentionally written to feel unresolved at the end of the first stanza.
It’s addressed to someone who cut me off during that period, so the emotional break is meant to be abrupt. The line isn’t meant to explain—it’s meant to stop, the same way the connection did. That tension carries into the rest of the poem.
She want this to explain
robust token
thats chat gpt bud nice try
dire wave
I felt like that got the idea crossed though
vivid kernelBOT
I felt like that got the idea crossed though
Wonderful! @dire wave has just progressed to level 2!
dire wave
Across*
glad sigil
I am also writing poetries
dire wave
It was meant to be abrupt but in a way that it flows throughout the whole poem
glad sigil
You want to listen my poetry
I am not good because i always write in Punjabi thrn translate in english
??
dire wave
Sure I will listen to it
glad sigil
Ok
calm axle