#Coffee (Harshest Criticism Possible Please ^^)

37 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

limpid sandal
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thank you 🫂

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ANYONE READING THIS FEEL FREE TO BE AS DIRECT AS POSSIBLE- I NEED TO MAKE THIS POEM BETTER

plain garnetBOT
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@tough canyon is now following @limpid sandal.

sage hearth
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It is nice. Idk, just my opinion, maybe the description could be shorter

limpid sandal
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more succinct 🤔 got it- thank you for your time heart

sage hearth
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The description of the aromes

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But I like the idea

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You fill the heart with sensations, but it is empty of feelings

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Are you a latin rooted language speaker?

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I mean, your native tongue

limpid sandal
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ooh why do you ask? 👀

sage hearth
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Rotund

limpid sandal
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maybe more emotive language and less descriptive...

limpid sandal
sage hearth
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Hmm, yea, actions that are rooted into feelings and ideas

limpid sandal
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I just like the word

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round

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rotund

sage hearth
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Oh, ok

limpid sandal
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feels homey :>

limpid sandal
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I was trying to compare coffee to life

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which is why there's so much bruising imagery

sage hearth
limpid sandal
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but its a lil too out there I think 🤔

sage hearth
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Hmm, maybe it accentuates the message

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Idk

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Sometimes you need to make long descriptions, a sort of mind anestesys with image and detail

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And then break it with a metaphor

limpid sandal
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that's so real 🤔

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omg ok you've given me an amazing idea

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tysm heart

sage hearth
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You’re welcome

limpid sandal
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REAL

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tytytytyty

hollow bridge
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your imagery and descriptions are very impressive, but the poem might feel a little bit overwhelming at first especially for new readers. because it sounds like pretentiousness kinda. however i'm impressed by the way you use these images to your advantage. but as i said you know, people might not get what you meant and your goal at first because it is very abstract