#The Dance Of The Snowflakes

17 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

gaunt yarrow
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White-out winter,
Contained in one arena.
Deep ridges engraved,
By silver edges.
Dancing across the ice,
With the grace;
Of ghostly snowflakes
Twirling to the ground

Twisting and bending,
Pivoting around,
A ragged pick.
Leaving snow dust,
Sparkling and glittering.
As it's thrown around,
Through leaps and spins,
Then back to the ground.

Like twining tinsels,
Backs stretch backwards.
Hands meet blades,
To bring legs higher,
The metal glinting,
Circles of powder,
Left to be picked up,
By another snowflake
Dashing by.

The next snowflake glistens,
And their edge prepares;
A roar and a crunch,
As they leave for the air.
Floating with elegance,
Pulling in with fervour,
To fall with the rest.
Another snowflake has fallen.

Once they rise and gleam
Glistering softly,
Catching lights
Looping around,
Snaking past,
To soar and float,
And flurry once more.

Fog swirling,
To the Dutch waltz.
Minuscule ice crystals,
Adorning with lustre,
Weaving through ice statues,
Sweeping legs, stretched arms.
Pirouetting, airborne,
In the Dance of the Snowflakes.

dry ermineBOT
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sick kettle
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Quite a good narrative, I think a little more description would have helped make it more like at start there if there stage was set clear and set, but that's my opinion just

gaunt yarrow
dry ermineBOT
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gaunt yarrow
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@deep bear

gaunt yarrow
deep bear
void lichen
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glistering or glistening?

This's a beautiful take on the elegence of a ice ballarina's graceful state of being one with motion...

I fell on my butt once and never tried it again.

gaunt yarrow
gaunt yarrow
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@digital prawn @quartz geyser

digital prawn
quartz geyser
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Good narrative, immersive, nice metaphor but might need some sentences to be longer or need not to use the participle -ing too much, and too much repetition makes it monotone. Overall i would rate it a 7.5

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It is good but focusing on the repetition will make it better