Ocean's Calling Me: Where Sirens Sing (Part II)

[random copper]

I drowned in sorrow,
Knowing letting him go was no gentle flow.
It wasn’t a river that let me pass—
It was an ocean that held me fast.

Yet I heard the sirens singing,
And I saw him obey,
Following the sound
As I faded away.

The current pushed him back,
Yet how could he surrender
When a majestic creature waited in his grasp?

As he fell for the trap,
I saw it and gasped—
“Oh, humanity…
As foolish as it can be.”

The siren murmured within her chest,
Her eyes found mine,
And I knew I was the threat.

[rocky fern]

Do you want advice?

[hearty fable]

Bootiful

[random copper]

yep

[fiery rock]

It's nice. you've written it gently and it flows well. Appreciated.

[rocky fern]

When you said he obeyed, what did he do? I pictured it as him in the body of water and returning to land

[fallen tangle]

Loved this!

"The siren murmured within her chest" stood out the most for me

[fiery rock]

Pardon me for intruding but in such kind of writing things aren't clearly stated. They're abstract and distorted so the readers can find their own view.

[rocky fern]

I know. I said what I interpreted it as, I was just wondering what she viewed it as, as she was writing it.

I didn't want to accidentally give advice about a story that doesn't make any sense

[fiery rock]

Ohh, I see. writers have their own backstory, offcourse.

[hazy mist]

Woah- this is wonderful, really does justice to the part one, keep it up!!

[random copper]

thank you!

[random copper]

He is following the siren’s sound, which leads him into deeper water, but this is not meant to be taken literally. It symbolizes temptation calling to him, and his choice to follow it over me. That decision pulls him into deeper consequences, ultimately drowning him in the misery he caused himself.

[random copper]

I'm gladd u liked it!