🍂The Autumn's Demise🍂

[peak widget]

🍂It is best if this series is read in its entirety.
The first planet of every season tells the main story (aka the knocking), whereas the other planets are philosophical to my life, my emotions, etc🍂

Series of — Dance of the Seasons
Part I - The Winter's Dwelling - https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1439833286649184359
Part II - Petrichor of Spring - https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1442746934392524951
Part III - The Summer's Eclipse - https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1448534914126450688 (i request that you read)
Part IV - The Autumn's Demise - https://discord.com/channels/944439929734312006/1448880384585760902

By @peak widget

[hard plaza]

@peak widget has sent a notification! - @rustic glade @main haven @fathom spire @chrome sand @hallow echo @candid shore @simple granite @shut tapir @smoky tide @unkempt furnace @high slate @rain harbor @winged monolith @proven arrow @late moth @junior pivot @dense moon @pliant otter @viral mason @flint fractal @quick zodiac @past sun @somber forge @balmy moat @earnest orchid @brisk wraith @tender trellis @novel fossil @hollow ether @thick hollow @tame iron @burnt aspen @warped void @magic adder @glass tendon @quiet flicker @rapid whale @hybrid adder @deep wasp @slender fjord @sand patrol @obtuse solstice @obtuse current @modern anchor @loud field @frail wolf @sleek bison @fleet siren @teal mulch @tardy lodge @still pebble @proud ingot @earnest vortex @dapper ginkgo @little mica @slate crown @tribal shard @wicked wagon @bronze pelican @prisma pelican @lusty marsh @slate kayak @minor ember

[peak widget]

fell off 😞

[limber wind]

You are a GENIUS for working on this series.

[orchid galleon]

Wonderful! @limber wind has just progressed to level 1!

[limber wind]

May I ask the time it took to craft this start to finish?

[peak widget]

thank you so much bro 🥹🥹🥹

[peak widget]

let me ponder

winter and spring each took two days, whilst summer and autumn took one

but it took a while to finish because I worked on others between each poem 😁

[limber wind]

Makes it more interesting then.

Just, super interesting.

[peak widget]

with this much flattery we might as well follow each other 😅

[hard plaza]

@peak widget is now following @limber wind.

@limber wind is now following @peak widget.

[peak widget]

@limber wind my most recent work!

[limber wind]

This is very interesting—the execution of the notion is excellent; it is brimful with rich language and obviously in an original style.

There are a few little revisions I would change (e.g. even-tide without the hyphen; not starting a sentence with a coordinating conjunction; more consistent inversion; &c.) but nothing major!

The typography is really interesting—I can't really review it because I know nothing about more modern techniques like that (you'll often see me hiding behind odes, sonnets, & ballads 💀)

Overall, I quite like it—it is a nice poem; you should be proud.

[peak widget]

Thank you so much for the heartfelt and intricate review! it really means so much coming from you and I enjoyed how you handled your revision suggestions and shall follow through! I apologize for the foreign style 😅 I often do such and thank you I am definitely proud!

wouldst thou likest to follow me?

[limber wind]

I shall

On that note—verb endings don't apply to main verbs if an auxiliary is present

E.g. wouldst thou like (would is an auxiliary)

E.g.
Thou runnest
Thou dost run

I am following you now; I look forward to your next post

Don't apologise for the typography just because of my ignorance 💀

I see it a lot here, but I am never sure how to review it because I do not know a lot about it

History by John Burnside is the only typographic poem I have really read & understood why typography was used

(It reflects how the WTC looked during 9/11 as well as being broken up when Burnside is further from the answer and in neat Iambic Pentameter when he is closer to the answer)

[peak widget]

ohhhhhh thank you that's very helpful

[peak widget]

are you sure you used /follow? 😭

[peak widget]

nooo it's not

[peak widget]

ohh I see lol

[limber wind]

Isn't it this little thing? (Sorry I am not great with discord commands)

[peak widget]

🙂‍↔️

./follow themonochromeangel

using folly

[hard plaza]

@limber wind is now following @peak widget.

[limber wind]

Got it

[peak widget]

Muchas gracias

[peak widget]

@oblique lance would you mind reading this? 😊

[merry reef]

I love the series.

[peak widget]

I'm so delighted 😁

[proud ingot]

Ah, such a vivid and heavy usage of olden language...

I'm a little shocked at the word divelling—an archaic word that was used in the 1800s at best! Same goes with dalliance too!

This poem seems to have some vibe of Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven to it, mostly due to the part of when the door was being knocked. At the Mars section, the chaos of the world introduced here brings inner turmoil to the speaker, and somehow facing that chaos itself with what could be a nondescript form of death emerging at the opening of that door.

With the following Saturn section, it does rather make me think that this is about wanting to sleep soundly away from the messy parts of reality (and that means reinterpreting the nondescript death at the door as just opening up to your bedroom instead), although wondering if it's worth waking up the next day when it wouldn't seem to make a difference.

Despondence is very clear throughout this poem and you've written the softly unsettling atmosphere it has