#observer

6 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

dire galleon
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hey !… my first poem on here

“i observed everyone.
i didnt speak.
i sat in the back, watching everyone have fun.
i never spoke my feelings —
never cried out for help.

its not that i had no one to speak to,
i chose to not speak at all.
however i had everything on my mind.
things ran through my mind, overwhelming me.

instead of asking for help
i write in my notebook
writing on a page is easier for me to
tell my feelings than speak.

its not like anyone listens anyways.
my poems are far more simple.
they hold a meaning behind that

if you truly read, youll understand.

to understand, absorb it.”

fallow furnace
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Whoa, ur poem is really heartfelt!! I can feel the silence, the loneliness, nd at the top its kinda relating nd real. The emotion in it is strong nd clear

dire galleon
#

🥹

fallow furnace
#

suggestions to make it even better:

Ahh, I can give you some suggestions at all, u should try adding a little more imagery like smth the reader can see or picture in their mind yk also I feel like a few lines are long, if you break them or shorten them, the rhythm will feel smoother ig
Nd the ending idea is really good butt you could make it more impactful with a stronger final line,l overall that's so good

dire galleon
cyan plinthBOT
#

*thank you so much!!! ill

take some of these to thought when

i write another^^*