#Broken computer

56 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

slate jayBOT
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@green pendant has sent a notification! - @cobalt shore @terse jolt @glacial ridge @frosty radish @quiet abyss @mental gyro @coral schooner @brisk zinc @heavy wharf @rare quiver @clear stone @midnight osprey @undone sentinel @clear glen @compact moat @ocean imp @surreal pecan @hidden widget @shrewd ruin @elder briar @light isle @winged marlin @rain kraken @solid monolith @glacial junco @chrome prawn @rough fern @grim remnant @near pebble @rough geyser @remote hazel @eager trench @quaint wyvern @pulsar forge

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@haughty dew @umbral dew @remote hazel

rough fern
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daaaaayyuuummmm

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amazing poem but youh good?

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js know im here if ya need to talk

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💐

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@vocal spruce hi hi would appreciate some harsh feedback

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@pallid cloud @acoustic mist

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<@&1145760802666717234> <@&1144090752457113794>

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@rigid pagoda

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@sand hound @tepid forum @timber belfry

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@lilac rock @tropic locust @elder snow

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@red tundra @elfin shell

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@heavy forge @lilac lava

lilac lava
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YOU DID IT AGAIN LOL

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lilac lava
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You put so much emotion into your pieces, I don't know how you do it in such little amounts of words

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It's actually.. Powerful

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Splendid work!

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More... PLEASE 🥺

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lilac lava
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tropic locust
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hey babe im here to talk okay? text me whenever

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this is such a good one

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@bitter talon

pallid cloud
# green pendant <@670741829351899194> <@654825526791503903>

Lovely piece, with some fantastic imagery. Very nice indeed!

I’m so sorry that your experiences have let you to this point, I truly hope that you do discover that happiness is not a lie, granted it isn’t a permanent state either, but it does exist and is available to everyone.

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elder snow
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this feels lived-in. what struck me most is the way you repeatedly personify your emotions not as grand metaphors but as inconvenient, almost mundane presences: “a friend uninvited”, “a song I’ve always recited”, “a ghost I’ve accidentally bought in.”

i can also feel the fatigue threaded through the rhythm especially in the lines that break mid thought. the image of being “a broken computer… stuck in an endless reboot” is one of the strongest parts. i love how doesn’t romanticize suffering but conveys numb repetition which makes it even more raw. love how you can convey the emotions with so much grace

green pendant
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<@&1145760802666717234> <@&1144090752457113794>

elfin shell
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“i’m a broken computer- stuck in an endless reboot”ok that metaphor is painfully accurate. the looping thoughts, the system crashes, the blue screen behind ur eyes...u captured techbrain in a way that’s so real

green pendant
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I said it before and I'll say it again I love your feedbacks

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@stable tiger

elfin shell
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@wise fiber

wise fiber
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Woah this is soo good the broken computer is such a good reference It reasonates so much with me tbh we have a similar writing style love all of the poems I've read by you so far 🙌🏻

sweet knotBOT
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wise fiber
hexed wave
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Ooo this is good.
The only bit of feedback I have is where you wrote "and fear is a ghost I've accidentally bought in" , but you've said anxiety is uninvited and depression is kind of like something you've always had? I inferred that through the words "Always recited" the idea that you don't remember a time you weren't struggling with depression.
So I wonder, why you've softened your language towards fear, you say fear was "accidentally bought in", the idea of allowing fear to consume you does make me ponder, do you truly want fear to go , or are comfortable with the feeling of fear?

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hexed wave
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elder snow
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@green pendant 😭 😭 😭 I got late I'm so sorry

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elder snow
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