I hate me

[fringe sparrow]

@fallen sundial has sent a notification! - @finite gulch @viral kite @sage escarp @little wraith @hushed ferry @near kite @amber canyon @fresh matrix @wild nacelle @mental summit @sleek thunder @shy glen @dull vortex @valid trellis @strange totem @solemn warren @deep stirrup @raw mural @errant thistle @bitter shale @languid lantern @sweet moat @meager mountain @slow cosmos @turbid arrow @knotty wolf @harsh turret @strong osprey @fresh loom @arctic cliff @halcyon sail @pine nymph @unborn rover @pastel totem @slim shore

[fallen sundial]

@shy sluice @slim shore @knotty wolf

@robust venture @mild yarrow @fleet light

@mellow cliff

@worldly rapids @meager cave @ancient spear

@north pelican @copper bluff @broken frost

@tough perch @unkempt herald @magic cloak

@sharp crown @broken fulcrum

@hazy beacon @bright quail @sweet anchor

would appreciate feedback
SORRY IF U GOT TAGGED TWICE

@hybrid mesa @unborn rover @upbeat marten

@tired escarp @harsh turret @fast temple

[mellow cliff]

"I hate my hands-
for what it's done,
for what it's held,
and feeling like none."
Instead of saying "it's" I think it be a little better if you put "they've"

[fallen sundial]

@lucid topaz @warm plaza @fresh loom

[fallen sundial]

yeshh thank youu

[mellow cliff]

🫡

[fallen sundial]

editeddd how abt now

[mellow cliff]

Looks pretty good, has a better flow

[fallen sundial]

yeshh thanks for the tip

[tired escarp]

ok so I'm kinda horrible at feedback but I read it and now that you edited it its much better. delicious poem.

[fallen sundial]

thank youuu its been sooo long how have you beennnn

have u wrote anything

[tired escarp]

Good! how are you doing? yes it has been Soo long I haven't been on in a while due to so much school work :)

[fallen sundial]

@bitter shale @worthy reef

[fallen sundial]

relatableee gud too alhamdhullilah I've been writing and studying and that's pretty much it lolz

hope all is wellll

[tired escarp]

yess tons of new poems coming I shall tag you in.

[fallen sundial]

YAAAYYY OMG CAN'T WAIT NGL I MISSED UR POEMS

btw I wrote a sensitive one and I tagged u in it

I'd love to know what you think since you're really good with sensitive poems

[undone monolith]

*I'd love to know what

you think since you're really good

with sensitive poems*

- nobody

[fallen sundial]

👀

[fallen sundial]

🥲

lolz

[tired escarp]

Thank you! I'm excited for you to read them!! I will start on the one you tagged me in

[fallen sundial]

yeshhh thank youuu

[tired escarp]

your welcome!

[worthy reef]

Its short yet compact and dense with meaning
Its almost hurt how relatable it is

[fallen sundial]

thank you so muchh can I tag you in some other poems of mine as well

[undone monolith]

*thank you so muchh can

I tag you in some other

poems of mine as well*

- nobody

[worthy reef]

Sure

[fallen sundial]

thank youu

[broken frost]

This is an amazinggg poem! Great jobb

[fallen sundial]

thank youu

[broken frost]

Just statin' facts ofc, no need to thank me <3

[fallen sundial]

[north pelican]

hi love im so genuinely impressed by this poem

i love how you related everything with how you feel and the words are jus beautifulll

[fallen sundial]

thank youuu how have you been my dearrr

I hope all is well and that you're doing okay

[north pelican]

awww im doing amazing love thank you so much

[fallen sundial]

would appreciate a star

[north pelican]

my exams are going on hehehe

[fallen sundial]

[fallen sundial]

sameee

[north pelican]

yes love ill give you a star hehe

[fallen sundial]

I didn't go today cuz not feeling well

[fallen sundial]

thank you so muchh

[north pelican]

oh you missed?

exam?

my mum would kill meeeeee ughh

please take care though

sending lots of hugs baby

[fallen sundial]

nope it's js class tests for now and I can take it tmr the real ones start on December

[fallen sundial]

and for you tooo sweetheartt

[fallen sundial]

u toooo

[fallen sundial]

lolz relatable

[north pelican]

dayummm good luckkk

[north pelican]

hehehe thank youououu

[fallen sundial]

thank you so muchh

[north pelican]

cutie

[fallen sundial]

U'RE CUTERR

[north pelican]

💗

[fallen sundial]

@pine nymph

[fallen sundial]

@south hinge

[shy sluice]

This poem is somewhat self reflection I like the poem but you okay???

[undone monolith]

*This poem is somewhat

self reflection I like the

poem but you okay???*

- simonghost2

[shy sluice]

no haiku botttt I will not forgive you

[fallen sundial]

ofcccc all gud alhamdhullilah thanks for asking I hope you're okay tooo

[shy sluice]

Yeah I am also thriving

[fallen sundial]

that's great to knowww keep thrivinghg

[knotty wolf]

DAMN GIRLYYYYY

This is so saddddd

[fallen sundial]

THANK YOUU

IT SUPPOSED TO BE
AND U SUPPOSED TO GO
SO WOT U DOINNM

lolz

[knotty wolf]

NOT THANK YOU 😭 😭 😭

[knotty wolf]

I'm reading my little red dot poems

HEHEHEJEHEH

[fallen sundial]

GURLLLL

skllllll

[knotty wolf]

the bus is late

Heheheh

[fallen sundial]

OUHH

phew-

[knotty wolf]

LOL

[fallen sundial]

ima read ur poemsss

[fallen sundial]

<@&1145760802666717234>

[fallen sundial]

@raven pumice

gurl feedback

NOW

👀

[raven pumice]

.

[fallen sundial]

U CANNN

[raven pumice]

Calm down ching

[fallen sundial]

OKAY NOW

[fallen sundial]

nauree

GURL

[raven pumice]

Where is it ho

[fallen sundial]

.

[raven pumice]

It's mid

[fallen sundial]

nah like be honest

u're my sis u're supposed to say it's the best poem u read

[raven pumice]

M. I. D.

Stop exposing me ho

[fallen sundial]

MOST INTERESTING DOPE

[raven pumice]

....

[fallen sundial]

DAT what mid stands for

THANKS BAE

[raven pumice]

I'm out

[fallen sundial]

follow me

[raven pumice]

No.

[fallen sundial]

DO IT

and I'd appreciate a star

[pine nymph]

Where is the poem

[fallen sundial]

@pine nymph

sorry for the late reply

[tough perch]

"I hate my lips-
for the words they throw,
for the poison they drink,
and sipping when they know. "

knife after knife in my chest

you use words at their fullest

its ppainful

but beautiful

[fallen sundial]

thank you so very much

[tough perch]

your welcome

[strong osprey]

i came here after seeing the name, didnt expect you were the writer nobs 😭

amazing work

[fallen sundial]

lolz thanks a lot I have been posting many so there's a lot u missed

[undone monolith]

*lolz thanks a lot I

have been posting many so

there's a lot u missed*

- nobody

[fallen sundial]

thank you so muchhh

[strong osprey]

imma catch up…. someday

[fallen sundial]

yeshh u take ur time

[slim shore]

very deep and relatable

it's like I'm on my deriod I swear

[fallen sundial]

I had to search up deriod 😭 lolz

[fallen sundial]

thank you so very muchhh

[fallen sundial]

@near timber

[pine nymph]

I like it groot job 👍

[fallen sundial]

thank you so muchhh

[worldly rapids]

“i hate my lips— for the words they throw, for the poison they drink, and sipping when they know.” omg this one aches. it’s that feeling of watching urself speak hurt, consume hurt, repeat hurt..even when you knw better. “most of all, i hate me— for creating walls, for demons, then letting them free.” ok this ending is a heavy truth. we build the walls, we give the demons space...and then we blame ourselves when they don’t leave. it’s a cycle so many of us knw. but you put words to it. you didn’t let it stay silent. n i won’t tell you not to feel this way. ur pain is real, and it deserves to be acknowledged. but i will say this. the same hands you hate have written these words. the same eyes that carry pain are reading this back. the same lips that spoke poison also spoke truth here. and the same heart that holds demons… is also fighting to be heard. u are not ur pain. you are not ur regrets. u are a person...hurting, yes, but still here. still speaking. still reaching thru the page. n that takes a kind of strength that hate can’t erase

[fallen sundial]

your feedbacks will be the reason Im crying one day

[fallen sundial]

@broken frost

[broken frost]

Lmao first thing I see when I open this

[fallen sundial]

lolz

[broken frost]

"I hate my lips-
for the words they throw,
for the poison they drink,
and sipping when they know."- For me, this was by farr the best stanza, I really enjoyed reading it; your poems always hit hard with the softest words.. Yet again.. You've done it lol. THANK YOU FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR POEMS AHHH. I don't know how I lived without em fr . Keep on writing because you truly have a talent- and I need you to- ahem ahem erm.. I MEAN BECAUSE YOU'RE AMAZING AND I DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT TO KEEP YOU FOREVER.. . Honestly, I love staying up at four in the mornin' and reading your poems, I can't say that abot most- sorry for the rest of the poets who gon read this- but damn, you are my fav. THANK YOU.... Will be expecting more lmao

[fallen sundial]

OKAY I'M COMING OVER AND GIVING A HUGE HUG CUS THANK YOU SO MUCHHH AND REMEMBER TO GET RESTTT CUZ STAYING UP AT 4 CAN BE TIRING

[broken frost]

LOL OFCC JUST STATIN' FACTSS

And dw, I always stay up late

:P

[fallen sundial]

but get enough sleep laterrr

[broken frost]

Okayy finee I guess lol

[fallen sundial]

sleep can affect ur memory das whyyy and it importantt I want u to stay okay

[broken frost]

So I can remember your poems lmfao

And yeahh I get your concern and I appreciate it, but it is hard to sleep with my conditions trust me, I'm tryin' ma hardest

[fallen sundial]

lolz nooo cuz you need to be okay to write amazing poems so I can read ursss

[broken frost]

Awwwwh damn you smooth lol

[fallen sundial]

ohh I hope it gets easier and can I ask what conditions but don't say it if it's personal

[fallen sundial]

js the truth pooksss

[broken frost]

Well I don't really wanna say in sorta public chat so maybe DMS if you wanna talk about itt ig and thankss

[broken frost]

<33

[fallen sundial]

understandable

[slim shore]

ur welcome its pretty great

[fallen sundial]

check who u replied to

lolz

[broken frost]

Lmao fr fr

[fallen sundial]

@hallow kayak

[slim shore]

i made no mistake

[fallen sundial]

lolz

gud gud

[slim shore]

i have writers block

[fallen sundial]

oof-

opposite here

I can't stop writing lolz

[slim shore]

https://tenor.com/view/childe-tartaglia-emo-childe-emo-tartaglia-childe-genshin-gif-22082618

[fallen sundial]

try smth diff

[slim shore]

i am

thats why im blocked

[fallen sundial]

can I ask what its abt

[slim shore]

i can tell u the title

[fallen sundial]

yes plsss

[slim shore]

pandemonium

[fallen sundial]

omw to google

[slim shore]

lmao

[fallen sundial]

wild and noisy disorder??

[slim shore]

mhm

bro

omg

[fallen sundial]

wottt

[fallen sundial]

WTH WHY U

AND WOT DID U DO

JS WOT

this is what ppl do when they realize they js their life ruining others

smh

wot did u do abt it

[storm cobalt]

Wonderful! @fallen sundial has just progressed to level 26!

[fallen sundial]

yeapp

[slim shore]

nothing

maybe

i moved on from exes too fast

[fallen sundial]

maybe

[slim shore]

too much to say

[fallen sundial]

.. dms

[slim shore]

no

too lazy haha

[fallen sundial]

lolz

[fallen sundial]

@candid mica

[candid mica]

You really are a good very writer I've loved everything I read by you😭🙌🏻

[fallen sundial]

stawpppp that's so sweett omgg

[candid mica]

I'm just telling the truth I love ur writing 😭

[fallen sundial]

why is my heart racing gurll u making me so happy ahhh

[fallen sundial]

@jagged jacinth @jade ferry could you both leave a feedback on this one..?

sorry I js love the long feedbacks

[sharp crown]

*I hate my ears-
for what they heard,
for eavesdropping my fears,
and for what's blurred. * ❤️‍🔥

[proven meadow]

Nooo don't hate yourself like that, you should be confident of yourself. for example you write good poems

[jade ferry]

yeah, yeah

sorry, I've been unexpectedly jusy

Busy*

these dayd

maybe by tomorrow

[jade ferry]

Right off the bat, the overall structure of solely parallelisms is something you don't see much of these days; I'd assume it's because of a tendency to mindlessly jot down lines to show what one can do. You manage to hold back from this temptation and are rewarded with this; yet again, by using something universal in poetry, as is beauty, as are body parts in this case, anyone can easily relate, not to mention the self-deprecation used as lure in the title.

However, unlike the hackneyed attempts at such a concept, this approaches it more maturely, you're playing the martyr with semantically logical words as pertain to the different body parts; which is to say nothing feels forced. There's a flow to it even if the rhythm continues to be jagged. There's not much I can say about the message that hasn't been opined already: if one tries, they'll find the parallel.

The thing now is that this could guile someone into thinking they've found "their stanza" the one they relate to, when, in reality, the genius of this poem exists in its altogetherness.

[fallen sundial]

ur vocab is like lvl 10 and I'm like at 3 so um..

[fallen sundial]

is that bad or..?

wuh..

[jade ferry]

Still, not quite my style, but the effort is visible, albeit you do tend to rely on certain clichés; say, most of these are already present among various related texts and whatnot, the whole "demons" thing

[fallen sundial]

ouhh..

[jade ferry]

uh, no, quite the contrary

trying to say your piece works as a whole

[fallen sundial]

so the opposite..?

huh

ima js take it as smth gud thanks lolz

[jade ferry]

sorryy

[fallen sundial]

it's okayy

[jade ferry]

I'll tone myself down, I often get carried away

[fallen sundial]

I still really appreciate ittt

[jade ferry]

like

[fallen sundial]

nooo it js means you're very skilled lolz

[jade ferry]

I interpret this poem as multiple legs of one table

awful analogy, but it gets the job done

[fallen sundial]

ouhhhh

[fallen sundial]

analogy?

[jade ferry]

an analogy, a type of visual metaphor

[fallen sundial]

like parts

[jade ferry]

yeah

[fallen sundial]

ouh

[jade ferry]

I'll still make sure to use a simpler register when evaluating in the future

[fallen sundial]

it's alr I won't be posting anymore I might post one last one tho

[undone monolith]

*it's alr I won't be

posting anymore I might

post one last one tho*

- nobody

[fallen sundial]

thankss

[fallen sundial]

dude-

[jade ferry]

like a body

[crude nova]

😭

[fallen sundial]

ouh

[jade ferry]

the beauty is in the entirety of it

even if one can focus on just a part of it

I feel like the purpose of this poem is to convey an integral hatred to the self

last verse is missing a syllable

[fallen sundial]

wot did it do to u

[crude nova]

Wheres the blunder

Ah

Right

[jade ferry]

lol

[fallen sundial]

sorta yesh

[crude nova]

Haiku shut the hell
Up right now or i will do
Bad things to you now

[jade ferry]

yea

[undone monolith]

*Haiku shut the hell

Up right now or i will do

Bad things to you now*

- nualiini

[fallen sundial]

thanks again

[crude nova]

No problem

okay ill stop ragebaiting

[fallen sundial]

huh

[crude nova]

[jagged jacinth]

My bad gang, ive been so busy this week 😭 (im on 17 hours of ot) and i missed this before it got deleted. feel free to tag me in another poem! and sorry again for missing it